# Help and Advice > Related Illness/medication/alternatives >  Dementia *heartbreaking*

## purplefan

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-39309108

I cried watching this video and flt i had to share this.

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## OldMike

I've been their with my mother and it is heartbreaking to see someone you love not even know who you are. It is like the person is gone but the body remains and you feel so helpless.

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## Suzi

It is cruel and so intensely painful for all concerned..

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## purplefan

That's the thing. Its cruel. I am so sorry you went through that Mike. I remember speaking to someone who;s father was diagnosed with it and he told me it was like seeing your father die a thousand deaths.

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## magie06

I won't look at this link at the moment Purple, as it's too fresh and real for me at the moment. My mum has dementia and while she knows us at the moment, we're not sure for how long more though.

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purplefan (20-03-17)

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## Paula

:Panda:  Magie and Mike.

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## purplefan

> I won't look at this link at the moment Purple, as it's too fresh and real for me at the moment. My mum has dementia and while she knows us at the moment, we're not sure for how long more though.


I totally understand. It was hard for me to watch and i am not experiencing it. It must me a million times worse for you. I have been watching his vlogs and they ar really supportive although heart breaking. I am keeping you in my prayers. And your mum.

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## Strugglingmum

I get this so much. I nursed my mother through Alzheimer's until her death  almost 4years ago. Losing her piece by piece was so traumatic.  She was my best friend, loved us kids and cherished her grandchildren even more. To see her forget us all is something I have never got over. In fact it was this trauma that led to my current depression and set off triggers of a lot of chilhood trauma that I had stuffed down for years and never dealt with. My need to stay silent had died with my mum. My need to protect her from the pain of what had happened to me was no longer there and the physical and emotional pain and weariness of  caring for her, working fulltime and being wife and mum brought my mental health crashing down around my shoulders. A year after her death i realised i was really not myself and my journey with depression was already in full swing and i didnt realise it. I miss her every day. She was so tortured in her mind at the end. I wouldn't change a moment of caring for her, but I wish I had been more aware of self care at that time as well. Hindsight is amazing.

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## Paula

:Panda:  :(bear):

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Strugglingmum (09-08-18)

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## magie06

:Panda:

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Strugglingmum (09-08-18)

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## Suzi

Massive hugs hunni. I agree hindsight is a blessing, but also a mighty curse.. 

I hope that you're more able to talk about things now and have help dealing with her illness and loss.

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Strugglingmum (09-08-18)

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