# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Finding it hard

## KatieLion

Hello. Sorry if this is a long post as I really just need to get all of this down and just out of my system. Just after Christmas I was diagnosed with both anxiety and depression. While I had been experiencing anxiety for a very long time but didn't feel it was severe enough to go to the doctors, the depression side of the diagnoses came as a shock to me and since then, I've been finding it hard to deal with the depression side of things more than the anxiety. I am currently on 50mg of Sertraline and have been for over a month.

Everything sort of happened in about November where I just felt like suddenly, everything was spiraling out of control. I'm a third year university student and I used to live in a house share with two of my best friends. Everything was fine until one week, it just all started to go wrong. I felt out of place in the friendship group, I felt like at every moment I was being left out and even when I expressed this, they completely denied that this was the case. I ignored it mostly because Christmas was coming up and it meant that I could go home. After Christmas however, I went back and everything felt worse. I had barely spoken to either of them over the Christmas period and I felt like they had been talking about me. I literally couldn't cope with being back in the house with them and I spent almost everyday crying while trying to do exams. Eventually, I confronted them and they obviously denied things but said that they were here to support me as they knew my mental health was getting extremely bad. They suggested many ways to help and encouraged me to go to the doctors. Honestly, without them, I would probably not have gone as they made me see more of what was going on. So, I opted to go home to be with my parents (who have been nothing but supportive) and go to the doctors. I ended up staying home from university for 2 weeks as I felt I needed the time just come to terms with everything. However, during this time, my two friends barely had any contact with me, they ignored my messages a lot and didn't seem to care much about me or my feelings. 

Obviously, this was hard to deal with. These two girls had been my closest friends for over two years and I couldn't really understand why they were behaving this way. At the same time, I got back into contact with an ex-friend who had previously left the house-share as well. It turns out that she had been experiencing similar problems and had felt isolated from us all (something I feel guilty about). My two friends had expressed after she had left, that they disliked her a lot and didn't intent to ever rekindle any friendship. However, as I started talking to my ex-friend she suggested commuting to uni as it is only an hour away and that she would go with me as that was what she was currently doing. Slowly, over a few weeks, we began to become much closer friends and it was almost like nothing had happened. The two housemates, however, have now completely shut me out because of this. 

I am now at home and commuting almost everyday which I am finding surprisingly okay but over the past few days, my depression has just hit me hard and I am finding it hard to find any motivation to do anything. I feel like I have absolutely no friends (apart from one but I don't want to bother her too much as I know she is going through similar things as me and I don't want to burden here). So a lot of the time I just feel alone and empty. I want to try and reach out to my old friends and just explain everything however I feel like I don't really want to be friends with them again because I don't think they are the people that I thought they were. 

At the same time, my mum is currently dealing with health issues r and no one really knows what is going on with it all and we are also trying to find somewhere to move after selling our house, my parents want to move out of the area we have lived in since I was a child to some place new and this also making me feel stress and down about it all.

It just feels like everything is getting bad again and I don't know I am meant to deal with everything. I am really just looking on some advice about any of this, I just feel awfully alone. Thank you for reading!  :(inlove):

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## Suzi

Hi sweetheart and welcome to DWD. 
Have you been back to your GP? It's quite standard to have the dosage adjusted after a starting dose. Remember that the meds take between 4 and 6 weeks to get into your system and then the same after each dose change. 
You really are dealing with lots atm, it will all come out in the wash though lovely - you've just got to hang on in there.

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## Jaquaia

You will find loads of support here  :Panda:

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## Paula

Hi Hunni and welcome. Unfortunately, its not unusual for people, no matter how close, not to understand MH issues and to take any changes in behaviour personally. It may be whats happened with your friends.  It may not. Regardless, your main focus now has to be to give yourself time and space to accept the diagnosis, to focus on you and to lean on those people who are able to support you. You will find that sort of support here

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## KatieLion

> Hi sweetheart and welcome to DWD. 
> Have you been back to your GP? It's quite standard to have the dosage adjusted after a starting dose. Remember that the meds take between 4 and 6 weeks to get into your system and then the same after each dose change. 
> You really are dealing with lots atm, it will all come out in the wash though lovely - you've just got to hang on in there.


Hello! Thank you. Yes, I spoke with her a week ago and she said that she was happy with the dosage at the minute and to see how it goes for a few more weeks. I felt like I was in a better place at that time but maybe not so much anymore. Thank you, it means a lot.

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## KatieLion

> You will find loads of support here


Thank you  :(inlove):

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## KatieLion

> You will find loads of support here


Hello, thank you! Yes, I am only apparently realising this now which is very sad. It's even more so cause one of them actually suffers with mental health difficulties as well and I thought that she would be more understanding. But, I guess it's hard to tell how people will react to others. Thank you for the advice though!

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## Suzi

If you're finding that your mood is slipping go back and see her and tell her exactly how things are....

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