# Help and Advice > Friend/relative has depression support >  My girlfriend is feeling really suicidal.

## MintyAura

Basically I have a girlfriend and she's 14 as well as me. She is bi, and has a very homophobic family, and not very nice either and she feels she is not able to go to them for anything such as mental help, a lot of people bully her at school and I try my best to stop that. Around 3 months into our relationship (at the time of posting this, it is half a year we've been going out) she told me that she was very depressed and later on told me that she self-harmed. I talked to her about it and tried my best to support her and it was working for a while, but then it stopped working as well. She told me she had suicidal thoughts and I didn't know what to do, but I carried on my best to support her and let her know she is loved. Just after 4 and a half months in, she told me that she actually attempted suicide and I felt a pit in my stomach. I wanted to get her to find help, but I thought that might come off as me not caring and trying to push her problems onto someone else, so I didn't, I just tried my best on my own. She previously told her friends about her depression, but they joked about it and I guess she just taught herself not to talk about it to people. Around 2 weeks later, she told me she attempted it again, and I anonymously contacted our school to try and get her some help about it without her knowing about it, the school gave her counselling, but that didn't help at all, if not, it made it worse because she said the counsellor made her feel like crap . I tried to spend as much time as possible to be with her to let her know that I cared, and that seemed to work, up until around a week ago. She was VERY depressed, way more than usual and I nothing I tried to do helped at all. 2 nights ago, I sent her links to depression forums and numbers to hotlines, she tried them out and said she really didn't like them and I really didn't know what to do. I tried talking to her about it today and I saw she opened the message and blanked me. I was wondering to myself if I had done anything wrong so I asked her around half an hour later with no replies from her. She opened the message and then blanked me again, so I was really worried if I had done anything, but I really didn't want to add to the problem if I had done anything. Half an hour later, she sends a message saying: "Don't bother messaging me, I'm airing messages" So I couldn't do anything. Half an hour later I get a text from her saying I didn't do anything and I asked if there was anything I can do to help her and she hasn't opened the message because she either went to sleep or something else I really don't want to think about. I really need some guidance on what to do and what to say to her so I can help her through it. Please help. I'm begging you.

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. 
Sweetheart you're 14. This isn't something that you can deal with alone. It's not something that people much older than you would need help with. 
It sounds like you are doing as much as you can and that's really brilliant. Do you know why the counselling didn't help? If she can't talk to her parents, is there a member of staff who might be able to help or have you broken up for the holidays? 
Is she able to go to her GP and ask them for help - maybe you could go with her? 

Do you have the numbers for things like Childline and the Samaritans?

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