# Help and Advice > Friend/relative has depression support >  Please help me to help my depressed brother

## Melly

Hello Everyone! I suffer with anxiety but that isn't why I am writing in here. I'm so worried about my brother and I was wondering if people could possibly post some encouraging advice or tips for him. He takes fluoxitine for depression but he has stopped taking the tablets (bad I know - he says he's getting them tomorrow) and he has also just recently split up with his long term girlfriend. The relationship wasn't the best and neither of them was happy, but he hasn't been able to let it go.. He's also just found out she is in a new relationship through her social media which I've told him he needs to stop looking at... He hates that she has moved on and he is on his own feeling rubbish, I've just has this text from him..." Guess I could start counselling again, it did help to be fair. its killing me mentally now, its affecting my job and its making me an even worse person. Its just when I look in the mirror I hate what I see, physically and mentally I wish I could change everything about me. I actually hate how I am, I hate how emotional I can be, I hate how I can be too nice and caring, I hate the way I look. I just dont see how Im ever going to love myself when the only person I hate in this world is me" I hate that he feels like this and it breaks my heart and I'm so worried about him, please can anyone offer any advice for him.. Thank you so much xx

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome! Do you know how long he was off his meds for? Did he cut down gradually or just stop? What dosage was he on? For how long?
I know it's horrible to hear, but it's really, really positive that he's talking to you - especially so openly. You must be really close. 
Can you offer to go with him to the drs? Ask if he needs anything? Maybe try to go to see him/get him out to yours or something? Help him focus on the positives each day? 
Sorry! That post seems just full of questions! Oops lol

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Flo (14-06-18)

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## Jaquaia

Hi and welcome. It might be worth mentioning that he can use Relate to help him deal with his relationship ending, it's not just for couples.

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Flo (14-06-18)

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## Angie

Hi and welcome

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## Paula

Hi Melly and welcome.  If it were me, knowing counselling helped him previously, then signing up for more sessions seems a sensible route. And have you checked whether hes now taking his ADs?

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OldMike (14-06-18)

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## Flo

Hi Melly and welcome. Your brother seems to be 'going through it' at the moment. I can't really add anything to what everyone else has said. Definitely a trip to the doctors - with or without you - if he's stopped taking his AD's I doubt he's doing himself any favours. It's such a shame about the end of his relationship. It might be an idea if he can resist the temptation to check his ex out on social media, especially if she's talking about her new BF...for him it's just rubbing it in. I agree with the others about the counselling. I hope things sort themselves out soon. Keep posting and take care.

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