# Help and Advice > Home straight >  Hi I'm back

## Pen

Just thought I'd drop a line and let you know how things are going

Since the doc put my venlafaxine back up to 300mg I have been a lot more stable. I have been trying hard not to get too dragged into work and to get some time away from it watching TV, listening to audio books and doing some cross stitch.

Overall things are going well. I am very busy at work and the pottery to be fired is backing up a bit. We have run kilns overnight for the last three nights. Whilst one is cooling down we have been firing the other one up. Even so there is still a lot to b fired.
I have run 2 kids groups this week on top of my usual classes which have been full and I have another two next week which are also full. 
Next weekend I have the first of my intensive weekend classes. Which I am looking forward to with a mixture of fear and excitement. Two years ago I told my tutor at college that I would not be bothered with throwing pots as life was too short to learn and here I am two years later owning 4 wheels and running throwing classes!!

The other excitement in our lives is the imminent arrival of two rag doll cross kittens. Hubby thinks I am quite mad, little bundles of heartache he calls them, but its my house and my money and he does not live here so tough!

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Flo (16-04-17)

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## Suzi

I've loved seeing the pics of the kittens on FB!
I've missed you, I'm glad you've been on to let us know how things are. It sounds like you might be sorting that home/work balance.....  :O:

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## Angie

The kittens are adorable. Its good to see you x

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## Paula

I'm always checking Facebook for more kittens pics - so adorable  :O:

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## OldMike

Looks like you've been very busy.

I just so love cats and kittens.  :):

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## Paula

Hey Pen, you're quiet. How are you?

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## Pen

I'm good actually. I seem to have been very stable for a few weeks, fingers crossed it stays that way. My mouth has been a bit better since I started taking a multivitamin pill everyday as well as drinking a smoothy a day. I know they are full of sugar and maybe not a great thing for me but with two together I have noticed my mouth has been a lot less sore. 
Last weekend I was busy with my first throwing weekend. I had one cancellation that I could not fill but even so made almost as much in one weekend as I was typically making in two weeks last year. I have just had my first booking for a throwing weekend in June through ebay. I was considering stopping the advertising on there but I will step it up now. The weekend went really well. The people loved it, H cooked a special soup and home made bread for lunch and we had a selection of cheeses. The weather was fab so we were able to sit out in the garden and eat. Very civilised. Only problem was that we had not considered that we would struggle for matching bowls and plates!! Typical that a pottery does not have any plates !!! 
This week is our catch up week where we try and get together with all the firing and glazing from the kids classes over the holidays. There is a lot of stuff. Too much to fit on our drying racks and there is pottery drying EVERYWHERE out there at the moment. Today however we had a day off and went to Slimbridge Wetlands reserve. We were hoping to see lots of baby birds and although there were some there were not a lot, so I guess we will just have to go back there again in a few weeks..... :(think): 
I took two work calls whilst we were there and Hannah told me off and pointed out that I was allowed a day off!!
My spare time has been taken up with kitten preparations. I have been building a kitten fort from cardboard boxes so that when they come home they have hiding places away from Ember and our other cat until they feel happy to interact with our world. They have a little corral in the corner of my sitting room. The last time we brought kittens home (about 16 years ago) they promptly dived under the boiler so I am preparing a safer place so this does not happen to these two. Our cat managed to squeeze herself into the box I had prepared as their bed. I though the hole would be two small for her, but where there's a will there's a way!!

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## Paula

Hannah's right!  Lol. How's wedding prep going?

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## Pen

Slowly but steadily. The key thing she is missing at the mo is the wedding dress and bridesmaids dresses most other things are done or in hand. Although I have still no idea what I am wearing. I may just have to wash my overalls!! :(rofl):

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## Suzi

Hannah's definitely right, but I'm so pleased that things are going well for you lovely x

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## Pen

I have overdone it a bit with the weekend then a trip to Slimbridge but I am trying to get more breaks. The imminent arrival of the kittens is giving me a huge distraction. I have built a den for the kittys and been making toys from toilet rolls, felt and feathers. Hanne thinks I have finally gone mad!!

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Paula (26-04-17)

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## Suzi

Sounds like a good way mad though!

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## Paula

Your kittens are too cute!  :(inlove):

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## Pen

Yes. Just one more day to wait. Thankfully A has a driving lesson tomorrow morning otherwise he would want me to tackle the city rush hour traffic so we could get them at 9 am tomorrow!!!
Feeling a bit overwhelmed atm. The house is a mess so I will have to do a lot of housework today. I have run out of clean socks so need to do the washing, I will need to do some shopping, I am meeting a friend for coffee, I have a lot of stuff to do in the pottery. 
I am being overrun with people wanting bookings and I have another throwing day on Sunday and a party on Monday before we go back to the normal routine.

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## Suzi

I do hope that you're going to fit some rest in!

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## Pen

Rest??? whats that then??

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## Suzi

It's this magical thing which helps recovery in chronic illness and mental health.......

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Paula (26-04-17)

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## Paula

^^^wss

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## Pen

Sitting room clean. Now trying to build up the energy to tidy the kitchen, hall, and stairs, vacuum and wash the floor, do the washing, and tidy up my bedroom.
Already been to waitrose for a coffee, Pets at home (did I mention I was getting kittens  :(rofl):  ), Asda and the park.
Oh I love a day off.

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## OldMike

> Sitting room clean. Now trying to build up the energy to tidy the kitchen, hall, and stairs, vacuum and wash the floor, do the washing, and tidy up my bedroom.
> Already been to waitrose for a coffee, Pets at home (did I mention I was getting kittens  ), Asda and the park.
> Oh I love a day off.


Did you mention you were getting kittens Pen!  :(giggle): 

I adore kittens little bundles of joy.  :):

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## Pen

> Did you mention you were getting kittens Pen! 
> 
> I adore kittens little bundles of joy.


Hubby describes them as little bundles of heartache!
The breeder says that they are scared of the vacuum cleaner which sound like a great excuse not to clean for a while.

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## Paula

:(giggle):

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## Suzi

:(rofl):

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## Pen

Treated myself to two new v pillows tonight, I bought one a week ago and realised that I have been missing out on the comfort options!!
Dunelm had a teddy bear one on sale  :(rofl):

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## Suzi

I love my v pillow! Hope you sleep well lovely x

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## Pen

Right kittens are home.
It was a stressful day yesterday, its a long drive (for me) to get to the breeders and of course we were only there about 10 minutes and then headed back again. It has really taken it out of me. Then the stress of trying to settle the babies as well as trying to stop our existing cat from killing them. Ember thinks they are puppies that need looking after. Percy has already been given an ear examination, had his bum checked and been given a wash. Luckily the kittens are quite used to dogs so he was not phased much by this treatment. Barney and Percy were both hissing at me this morning, but after I cuddled Barney and stuffed him full of fresh cooked chicken he was a bit more amenable!
I am feeling so guilty though. Every movement today is like walking through treacle and there is so much that still needs to be done in the studio as well as the house. The kitchen is a health hazard but I just cannot find the energy to get off my ass and do something.
I had my diabetes tests this morning and its not looking good. I have gained a lot of weight this year and am now heavier than I was 2 years ago. I am going to get a telling off my the nurse when I go for the blood and urine results!

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## magie06

Don't worry about the nurse for now. What's done is done. Tomorrow is another day to start afresh. But for today enjoy your new babies and play with them.

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## Suzi

I agree with Magie. Work on the here and now. Do a bit in the kitchen, then play with the babies, then a bit more in the kitchen etc...

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## Pen

Been so lazy today. Between me and H we have got the kitchen under control. She has unloaded and loaded the kiln. The rest of the time we have been kitten cuddling.
 :(rofl):

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## Suzi

Sounds like a good use of time to me!  :):

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## Paula

Sounds perfect  :):  they need their new mummy more than the housework does  :O:

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## Pen

This is terrible I need to get into the studio and do some work!!! But there are babies to cuddle!!!

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## Paula

:(giggle):

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## Angie

:(rofl):

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## Suzi

Totally understandable!

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## S deleted

It's a known fact that stroking pets helps to reduce stress, so you are actually in therapy while cuddling the kittens. I predict that a lot more 'therapy' will be needed over the coming weeks

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## Pen

> It's a known fact that stroking pets helps to reduce stress, so you are actually in therapy while cuddling the kittens. I predict that a lot more 'therapy' will be needed over the coming weeks


Yes one of my friends has already pointed out that "kitten therapy" should be available on the NHS!

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## OldMike

> This is terrible I need to get into the studio and do some work!!! But there are babies to cuddle!!!


 :(giggle):  Yep your kitties are number one priority.  :):

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## Pen

I had plans for lots of stuff this morning. I need to get a form off to my pension provider, I have to post a voucher someone has bought, I need to put the tables back together for the party this afternoon. I need to wash the floor. but....... two small kittens are asleep on my lap!! They are making me slow down!!  :S:

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## Paula

And that's not a bad thing  :O:

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## Suzi

About time! If only we knew all it would take were a couple of kittens!

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## Jarre

I am still debating getting another cat now its been nearly 3 years since dolly did a runner, but think I need to look at saving up for a house deposit first and due to my hours at work would need to get a pair so they have each other for company while i am at work, so will be a few years yet biut they are good for depression at helping relax you body and mind.

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## EJ

Cats are usually solitary creatures. Some will tolerate another cat if they are brought up together. I have three cats one is a stray. The other two tolerate each other but don't like each other. The stray is big so he doesn't stand any nonsense from the other two.

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## Pen

Had a pottery party this afternoon. I accidentally undercharged then DOH!!! 
Looking forward to getting back to normal, however I have private lessons on Friday and Saturday, another throwing day next Sunday and then another party the sunday afterwards.
I am cream crackered now,

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## Suzi

Oh no! Hope it wasn't massively undercharged!

Wow, you are so busy! Which is such a double edged sword....

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## Pen

I should have charged £93 and I charged £80. However the organiser did give me an extra £10 as the party over ran so I am only £3 out of pocket.
Yes the business is doing really well. The throwing days and weekends are proving quite popular with this Sunday full and bookings on the special sessions in June.
The kittens make it really difficult to do even computer work when I am in the house as Percy enjoys hiding behind my screen on the keyboard as an ambush spot to attack Barnaby. A is a bit narked that the kitten he paid for (Percy) is showing preference for me. (Actually Percy is a true ragdoll and does not care who fusses him). I am a bit narked about that as A is happy to spend time playing and cuddling them, but I am the one buying and cooking chicken to tempt them. I am the one who washes up their bowls and feeds them. I am the one who cleans the poo out the tray everyday. I am the one who cleans and refills the water fountain everyday... and whilst A is happy to spend loads on toys I am the one paying for the food, insurance, vaccinations, and so on.

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## Paula

Have you told him that?

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## Suzi

I think you have every right to be narked about that!

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## Pen

Yes. and today he has bought a bag of chicken, cleaned the tray... and kitten napped them into his sitting room!!

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## Suzi

Lol! Obviously he got the message!

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## Pen

Well it my one day off today, so I am spending it vacuuming, washing floors, dusting, cleaning toilets, cleaning cat trays, tiding, and washing.  :S:

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## Suzi

That doesn't sound like pacing at all.....

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## Paula

That's not good  :(:

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## Pen

Just finished...

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## Pen

I treated myself to a window vac.... I think you must be getting old when that seems like a big deal  :(rofl):  It does make window cleaning a lot easier, I can clean the clay off the studio windows in 5 minutes! Started on the house windows this evening.

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## Suzi

Erm.... Pacing?

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## Pen

LOL I ran out of charge and baby Barnaby started screaming at me for cuddles so I had to sit down and sew and let him sleep on my lap. It has only been a week and I may be deluded but I think Barnaby and me are making a connection which is good as he is my cat whilst Percy is A's 
The breeder told me last night that she thinks the Dad is a maine coon cross and certainly Barnaby is starting to show some maine coon traits. He developing tufts on the tips of his ears and he stares intently at me and is becoming very much MY cat which apparently is very maine coon so we will see. Percy on the other hand is very much his Rag Doll mums baby. He has a much rounder face and is much happier to be turned upside down and have his tummy rubbed or be cuddled like a baby and is happy to be passed around as long as cuddles are forthcoming. Barnaby needs more bribing with chicken by strangers before he will allow himself to be cuddled.  
Ember on the other hand is not well tonight. I suspect the art group this afternoon have fed her something that has not agreed with her. Most people who come to the studio bring dog treats of some sort or other but tonight she is right off her food, even cooked chicken , which she never refuses and tonight her tum is making some alarming noises so I have a feeling I may be cleaning something up in the night... :(:

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## Suzi

How is Ember this morning? Did you get some sleep?

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## Pen

She was making strange noises all night but she was very good and was not ill in the house. However if I say that what was coming out this morning was chocolate sauce then you get an idea. She still has not eaten her breakfast but has coaxed a biscuit out of hubby.

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## Suzi

Ewwww! Hope she's brighter now..

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## Pen

Yes a lot happier.
Feeling a bit stressed tonight as things are getting on top of me again.

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## Paula

Can you spend some time with barnaby on your lap - seems to me he's helping you pace?

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## Pen

yes he is but I have 5 plates to finish and a class to run tonight

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## Suzi

You need a kitten carrying jumper so you can keep him with you all the time!  :):

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## Pen

I am not sure he would too happy about that!!

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## Suzi

I'm sure he'd love it!

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## Pen

Got work coming out my ears again!! Trying to juggle quite a few balls and remember which customers are which. Had a call whilst I was in the supermarket and she just launched straight in without introducing herself so I was a good 20 seconds into the conversation before I realised who she was!! Now once I have bolted some lunch I need to rustle up some sketches to show her when she comes by at 2. I hope my volunteers are here on time to look after the class! Then I need to finish the plate commission and setup for the kids throwing class that starts today!!

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## Suzi

Oh no! Maybe you need to space things out a bit more.... lol But you seem to like busy..

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## OldMike

Wow sounds like a hectic Friday. I hate being phoned up by someone who doesn't say who they are and why they are calling, it just causes confusion.

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## Pen

Well they are sorted and the commission is straightforward and fun. Not like the 7 identical sized custom painted plates which I am still finishing off.
The kids class went well, and all happy. 
3 classes tomorrow then an all day throwing day on Sunday.
Tonight however I will be trying to chill out. I was late coming in as I was trying to get some of the plates in the kiln and the two kittens were screaming at me for food when I came in!!!
The vet said to feed them dry food and they had plenty of that left so they could eat if they wanted to however they wanted MEAT.... AND NOW!!!

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## Suzi

Awwwwww I think it's brilliant if they are making you stop!

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## Pen

Yes I had a little cuddle with them but they are now stretched out on the sofa. One of them is asleep on the dogs back!
Earlier the other one decided to give Ember a wash behind her ears. Her face was priceless!! They are certainly a distraction.

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## Paula

Awwww I love how wonderful Ember is with them!

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## Suzi

Awww!!!!

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## Pen

I have definitely over done it the last few weeks. Feeling quite down today and very tired. Managed to get some shopping done first thing and once I get home from the vets in am going to spend some time in the garden.

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## Paula

And rest, maybe?  :(bear):

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## Pen

Isnt gardening resting?
However having been attacked by the kittens trying to steal my cheese sandwich (two can be an issue... one to distract whilst the other steals it off the plate!!) I have stuffed them with a whole sachet of kitten meat and they are settling down now on me for a snooze!

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## Paula

I think your kitty cats are the best thing that could have happened to you  :O:

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## Pen

I managed to escape! I have built a new miniature landscape to show off my castle, removed loads of dead plants and pruned lots of dead wood, repotted several plants redid one of miniature gardens, built a new small one, potted up some plants that I bought 2 years ago and have been in their original pots ever since. A very satisfying and relaxing afternoon. Now just need to finish dinner, clear up and water and I'm done!! Feel so much better for just having a quiet afternoon tending the garden!

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Paula (08-05-17)

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## Suzi

Sounds really busy for someone who should be resting imho.....

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## Pen

> Sounds really busy for someone who should be resting imho.....


Yes I know but it did me a lot of good. I don't feel nearly as stressed as I did. Spending the day doing jobs that I have wanted to do for ages and concentrating on something other than work has been a great distraction and its so satisfying to look out now and not see a garden full of stuff needing throwing away or putting away.
Had a lovely bath once everything was finished. I had a long soak, which for me is 20 minutes!! I am now on the sofa with a blanket, however I am slowly losing it as the kittens are pulling it off as they use it to hide under to ambush each other  :(rofl):

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OldMike (09-05-17)

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## Pen

> Awwww I love how wonderful Ember is with them!


She was not too happy with them at lunchtime when there was a risk that they would get the remains of my cheese sandwich which traditionally has been her right!!

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## Paula

:(rofl):

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## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

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## magie06

It sounds like they have settled in nicely.

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## OldMike

> I managed to escape! I have built a new miniature landscape to show off my castle, removed loads of dead plants and pruned lots of dead wood, repotted several plants redid one of miniature gardens, built a new small one, potted up some plants that I bought 2 years ago and have been in their original pots ever since. A very satisfying and relaxing afternoon. Now just need to finish dinner, clear up and water and I'm done!! Feel so much better for just having a quiet afternoon tending the garden!


I rarely find gardening relaxing it is like trying to conquer the wilderness.  :O: 

Pen you've done a heck of a lot now relax.

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## Pen

Just not happy tonight. I feel like a total failure and just want to curl up and cry

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## Paula

You are about as far from a failure as anyone I know  :(bear):

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## Suzi

Oh sweetheart, why on earth would you feel like a failure?

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## Flo

How can you feel a failure? You are so inspirational!..I really do envy you your creativity and cleverness. Look what you've done in the garden. You should see our back garden...part of it is like a wilderness and nothing short of a machete is going to sort it!....Hope you're feeling a little bit better today Pen. Maybe you overdid it yesterday. You're a very clever girl so don't forget that. :Panda:

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## Pen

One of my customers walked out last night as her work in progress had been damaged by H or I (not sure who) had put a heavy pot on it by accident. I just feel at the moment that their is so much to do and as fast as we try to tackle it more keeps piling up. I feel at the moment that I am just not doing the job properly. The commission for 7 plates that is due at the start of June is not going well. 3 of the 4 plates I have finished so far have failed and I have had to throw another 5, I hate being up against a deadline like this and am beating myself up as I have had the order since February. I have another commission to do as well and the customer changed the requirements yesterday from fern leaves to hemp leaves on it. I know I need to take a break today, I have been over dong it but
I need to finish the plate commission
I need to start the wall sign commission
I need to finish glazing the kids stuff from half term
I need to contact people about stuff waiting to be collected
I need to take advantage of the Vistaprint sale this week to get new flyers printed
I need to glaze my seals 
I need to get stuff for sale on etsy
I REALLY need to get the accounts up to date and deal with the end of year accounts

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## Paula

You NEED to rest

Pen, lovely, maybe it's time to reduce what you're doing. Maybe have less classes so you can do your own stuff? Maybe employ someone to do the accounts? Maybe get the kids in for a class to do their own glazes? Maybe send a blanket email to all your customers about items to be collected, rather than contact individually? Maybe get H to sort out the flyers?  Maybe try to remember this is your business and you're the one who gets to make the rule for your business?

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## Suzi

Completely agree with Paula - is there a set time you could have for people to pick up work? You seem to be running enough classes for a much larger pottery. You have to find a way to balance what YOU need and what you can do. There are only 2 of you.

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## Pen

Apart from taking the dog out I have been resting as I have had a fearsome headache all morning. Now working through the backlog of audio books I have not had time to listen to. Might do a bit of drawing in the mo.

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## Pen

Baby Barnaby is asleep on my lap so cant go anywhere  :(rofl): 
I have raided the self soothe box  :):

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## Suzi

Glad Barnaby is keeping you sat!

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## Pen

Yes the boys kept me pinned down for hours. Now they are rampaging around like lunatics and Ember is taking the opportunity to get her head on my lap instead. It just makes my heart melt when Barnaby climbs up onto my lap and its me he wants to lie on. I have yet to hear him purr though. His slightly larger brother purrs all the time so we think its just a size thing.

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## Suzi

Awwwwwwwwww

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## Pen

Trouble at home today... H was in a foul mood this afternoon and we had a bit of a set to at work. I called her into the office and we had a chat. A is being an overgrown child. As you know I don't get a great deal of help with the housework from them and A especially to I am not happy with him anyway but he had run off to be with his friends again. He actually spends more time with his mates than her and she had had enough. She messaged him and asked that he be home by 9. He arrived at just past and was exceedingly lucky she had not bolted the door. As it is she has now told him to go back to his mum for the night to see if he can understand the seriousness of the issue. He keeps saying that he will change but then never does....

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## Paula

Oh no  :(:  how is she this morning?

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## Suzi

Hope everything is sorted and OK now lovely?

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## Pen

Determined.
He did not sleep at his Mum's but on the sofa instead. She has told him he needs to grow up and take some responsibility around the place. This morning H and I have drawn up three lists of what has to be done both in work and at home in the hope that he will understand that H and I are busy and cannot run round being his nursemaid. The list for H and me are full, his list has three things on it.... God help him if he does not do them!! He will certainly not be sleeping in the house if that happens! Next step after the sofa is the studio!!

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## magie06

Hi pen, just thought I'd pop in and say hello. So Hello!  :Panda:

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## Suzi

3 things? Can you not delegate a bit more?

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## Pen

> 3 things? Can you not delegate a bit more?


We are trialling a new system, I have bought a small white board with the days of the week on it and I can write up the jobs that need doing.  He went to group counselling this morning and did not get back till after lunch but he did at least clean the cat trays and round up the plates in his sitting room. The kitchen is pilled high tonight however and I just want to cry. I love my job but the stress of trying to keep it all together is getting to me a bit. There is just so much to do at work and when I get home the place is just a mess. I am not blaming them but its all becoming a bit much again.

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## Suzi

What about getting another cleaner?

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## Pen

No I don't have time to deal with a cleaner. 
I have been catatonic this morning, my brain had just shut down and I have spent most of the day just lying on my bed, thinking nothing and staring at the wall. I did clean up the crockery and part of the breakfast bar which is used as a dumping ground for everything and the hall. H has applied a cattle prod to A I think! he has swept the kitchen and hall floor, is now on his hands and knees vacuuming it and then intends to wash it. This is great BUT he is making such a huge job out of it (he is running with sweat) that I know he will not want to do it again anytime soon!!

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## Suzi

Can you accept it for today?

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## Paula

Depends on the cleaner. Mine is amazing, she gets in, does a great job and doesn't waste any time - mine or hers.

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## Pen

The cleaner was fine. the problem is I don't have time to tidy up for them

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## Pen

i also cant afford one

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## Suzi

I thought the whole point of a cleaner was that they cleaned and you didn't?

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## Pen

Clean yes, tidy no. A paid cleaner only seems to work if you have an ordered and tidy house so they can come in and dust and clean without impediment. The three of us are quite untidy so having to spend two hours tiding up at 7am ready for a cleaner to turn up at 9 was a pain in the butt! Plus of course we could not leave the animals unattended with a cleaner and now we have two kittens running around I would be concerned about them letting them out accidentally.

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## Suzi

Fair enough...

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## Pen

Slept for a total of 9 hours last night, only woke up at 10!! Luckily A and H didn't so the cats got fed or I think they would have come hunting us! I would not put it past Barnaby to work out how to open the kitchen door...
Feeling better for the enforced rest yesterday, lying around all afternoon gave me an idea for a new sculpture! I think the fact that the sun is shining is helping me feel a bit more positive as well, I am not generally affected by the weather and I was pleased to see the rain as we badly needed it but I think a bit of sun does make a difference.

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## Paula

Really good to hear, Pen  :):

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## magie06

It sounds like a great start to the day.  :Panda:

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## Suzi

That does sound much better lovely.

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## Pen

So its Sunday and I have a Sunday off, therefore I have:-
Unloaded and reloaded the kiln
Glazed a pot
Done a load of washing and hung it out
Been beachcombing for some driftwood for sculptures
Collected my tablets
Cleaned the bathroom and toilet
Vacuumed the bathroom, my bedroom the stairs and the landing
Cleaned out the cats area
Vacuumed the sitting room and rearranged the cats tunnels

So I think it is possible that I may be able to sit down for half an hour now without feeling too guilty...

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## OldMike

WOW that is is taking it easy  :O:  hopefully you can chill for the rest of the day.

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## Suzi

I hope you sat down between each of those things?

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