# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Ken Willidau

## Ken Willidau

I am in the middle of two sisters.

My older sisters focus in life has been to get me to leave since the day I was brought home.

My younger sisters focus in life has been to make me look like a disappointment to my father.

Segment removed by Suzi 

I look after my mother with Alzheimers (shes been in a home for two months now). My father had Parkinsons before that. I have been at their beck and call for the last 18 years. I sold my house to come back to take care of them 10 years ago, and the younger sisters boyfriend called my mother ​Removed by Suzi  She shunned me for a year for asking her to be more careful bringing food to our parents because she was bringing over expired dairy/egg/meat. She is jealous and a spoiler.

She could walk into my parents house and stand in front of our 7-year-old nephew and 5-year-old niece and ask the boy if he wanted to go to the toy store. Just a disgusting person.

She announced 3 years ago that she hates our mother and always has and doesnt want to be notified when she dies  while shes living in my mothers condo at cost. The other one has been using me for easy updates on my mother since that one walked out of the family. And last summer announced her and her boyfriend are moving 4 and a half hours away while she acted like she would be any help (she was here 2 times in 7 months after my mother wandered and I couldnt leave, anymore) with nursing home duties which I have now been condemned to for the next 5 to 10 years alone.

I sat in this house for a year listening to my mother faux-sob for 6 hours a day, ask 5,000-10,000 questions (no joke), grind her teeth for a couple of hours a day because she knows it gets on my nerves and talking to hallucinations.

So, everything came to a head last summer when I tried to bring the family back together and they just ignored me. Or accused me of blackmail  Im power of attorney. Then the death threats started. I had 7 police here that week (two to take a statement about the murder). I convinced them all that those two are filth.

I cant say that I am that responsible a person  it all gets done but I seem to be reactive than proactive, but I do have a conscience and I am not abandoning her and I didnt my father. They dont and didnt deserve anything from me.

But I am who I am, and its far better than what any of them are. And I am just glad I am not any of them. It must be draining to be so hateful your entire life. Fixated.

The younger one texted me in November (attached to my death threats) if she could call her mother to wish her a happy birthday, after 3 years of shunning her. Theyre goading me into reacting and I have.

Theyve been banished from the family. Theyve had a massive negative effect on my life (and this family) and who needs it for what you get in return for being a decent human being to and for them?

Maybe your sister still just resents you and your mother for adding you to her perfect little world she had going until you came along and wrecked it for her, too.

You sound like youre a good guy. Maybe you shouldnt be as much. I think people go for the easy win if theyve never been stopped from winning it.

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## Ken Willidau

Suzi,

If you're going to remove parts of my posts, could you just remove the whole thing, so it looks like I make any sense. You took out the whole part about my older sister which is what Matt is having the problem
with. And the rest is confusing without it. It makes it look like I was a suspect or involved in a murder.

Thanks

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## Suzi

> Suzi,
> 
> If you're going to remove parts of my posts, could you just remove the whole thing, so it looks like I make any sense. You took out the whole part about my older sister which is what Matt is having the problem
> with. And the rest is confusing without it. It makes it look like I was a suspect or involved in a murder.
> 
> Thanks


I'm more than happy to remove it all, but I am not happy to have it as it was. 
It didn't make it look anything of the sort!

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## Ken Willidau

I just thought it looked like I was giving a statement to the police for a murder that happened now, after issuing death threats to my sisters, and not that the murder happened 52 years ago.

Thanks for removing it.

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## Suzi

No it didn't, and if it had I would have removed that too - especially as this is Matt's thread...

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## Ken Willidau

Well, actually it did.

"Then the death threats started. I had 7 police here that week (two to take a statement about the murder)."

This was left in without any reference to the fact that the murder happened when I was a child, which was taken out.

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## Suzi

I'm not arguing with you - especially not on someone else's thread which isn't easy to talk about. If you don't like it then you can talk to me off this thread. At the end of the day, I don't say it often, but my forum, my rules. Simple.

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Jaquaia (13-02-19),OldMike (13-02-19),Paula (13-02-19)

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## Strugglingmum

> Well, actually it did.
> 
> "Then the death threats started. I had 7 police here that week (two to take a statement about the murder)."
> 
> This was left in without any reference to the fact that the murder happened when I was a child, which was taken out.


Ken i was away all weekend but i did see your thread. I read as much as I could but did find it hard to follow but that is probably a lack of understanding or logic on my part. 
That aside, I am not an admin on this site or anyone in authority.  Do you know what I love about this forum? It's a haven for me. Somewhere I get support, somewhere I gather strength from the comerarderie and friendship from people who understand how hard it is to live with mental illness.  They get my struggles and they care. 
Ken i have to say that when I read your comments and how they come across very argumentative and confrontive it actually makes me not want to be here. I realise that may not be your intention but that is what i am finding.
Also please be aware that the people who run this site also have/or have had mental health issues. 
Please be kind to them because that is all I have ever found on this forum.... kindness. 
We will never all see things from the same perspective but there comes a point where we have to let some arguments go.  Please keep using the forum but can you stop arguing and always having to force your point. You have actually made me cry with how you have spoken to our admin. As a normal user please don't spoil the one haven I have. 

Admin I'm sorry.  if you need to remove this I understand but I need to at least try to ask for some peace.... or pm me how to block Ken from my view. I really value you all.

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## Suzi

> Ken i was away all weekend but i did see your thread. I read as much as I could but did find it hard to follow but that is probably a lack of understanding or logic on my part. 
> That aside, I am not an admin on this site or anyone in authority.  Do you know what I love about this forum? It's a haven for me. Somewhere I get support, somewhere I gather strength from the comerarderie and friendship from people who understand how hard it is to live with mental illness.  They get my struggles and they care. 
> Ken i have to say that when I read your comments and how they come across very argumentative and confrontive it actually makes me not want to be here. I realise that may not be your intention but that is what i am finding.
> Also please be aware that the people who run this site also have/or have had mental health issues. 
> Please be kind to them because that is all I have ever found on this forum.... kindness. 
> We will never all see things from the same perspective but there comes a point where we have to let some arguments go.  Please keep using the forum but can you stop arguing and always having to force your point. You have actually made me cry with how you have spoken to our admin. As a normal user please don't spoil the one haven I have. 
> 
> Admin I'm sorry.  if you need to remove this I understand but I need to at least try to ask for some peace.... or pm me how to block Ken from my view. I really value you all.


Oh sweetheart  :Panda:  We will always do all we can to protect our members on here. I hope he sees this and realises how his words have impacts on others. I'm going to move his comments to a separate thread so you can talk to Matt here without such negativity...

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Angie (14-02-19),Strugglingmum (13-02-19)

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