# Help and Advice > Home straight >  Feelings shared. *SU TRIGGERS*

## jamesuk

Hello. 

I am a 23 year old male. I have been dealong with depression on and off for about 2 years. I've tried speaking about my feelings , I've tried not to. I've taken antidepressants and I've not taken them. Im sure what I hope to gain from this maybe for someone to say me too. 

My outlook on life is bleak at the best of times. I can't get to the grips that I have to work for the next 60 years of my life to struggle to get by each month bearing in mind I don't even have my own place. Constantly praying for end of the month all the time and then being extremely careful about what we are limited to to live through again. 

About two years ago my girlfriend of 4 years fell pregnant which I tried everything I could to prevent I. E we always had protection. Every time and it still happened. I am in no way designed or mentally prepared to have a child ever. I am trying my best I see her everyday. I have recently got back with her mother after a bit of a bitter breakup. Sometimes I look at them both and it feels me with love and achievement but more often then not it feels me with a sense of I am trapped like this for ever. I was once a carefree teen and now I have to put up with choices that were past my control. 

I've come to the conclusion that trying to end my life would end my problems. What will I care I'd be dead. The only reason is I simply do not have the courage to do so for the mean time.

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## Jaquaia

Hi and welcome. I've added a trigger warning as you discuss suicide. 

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. We always recommend talking to your GP about how you are feeling. Do you have any family or friends who you can talk to? Can I ask what meds you tried and why you stopped taking them? Have you tried any talking therapies? 

It's ok if you don't want to answer. We will be here to offer support for as long as you feel you need it.

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## Paula

Hi and welcome James. Hunni, you're not alone and everyone here has some understanding of how you feel. But I promise you ending your life is not the answer. Not least because your daughter needs her daddy to look after and protect her.  Please, please, please see your GP urgently and get help. In the meantime, call the Samaritans or get yourself to a&e. There is a way through this  :(bear):

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome. The others are right. You shouldn't have to live like this at all and please, please, please don't think that suicide is the only way out. I promise you there are other ways...

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## Elless

Hi James, it has always been the thought of my children that have stopped me 'doing anything'.  Think of your daughter as she gets older, she will need you more and more and you don't want to deprive her of having a father to turn to/talk to/make proud.  We all know how hard it is but go and talk to your GP (or print out what you've said on here) and get the right treatment because what you have is an illness and you can get better.

Linda

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Paula (15-07-16)

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