# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Learning lessons and taking it forward

## Paula

A new thread for the next phase in my recovery. The focus at the 3 month follow up yesterday was definitely on how to learn from what went right and what went wrong over the last 3 months, and how to use those lessons in the next phase of recovery, and beyond. Ive still got a lot of work to do  :O:

----------


## Angie

You may still have work to do but you have already made mahoooooosive inroads already babe xx

----------

Paula (21-12-19),Suzi (21-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

I completely agree! You really are amazing and so determined.

----------


## OldMike

You have a massive strength I can only aspire to you're so inspirational, go girl onwards and upwards  :Panda:

----------

Paula (21-12-19),Suzi (21-12-19)

----------


## EJ

Dear Paula I can’t seem to keep up with you. I wish you a very happy Christmas to you and your family xxx

----------


## Mira

Yes there is still a lot of work to do. But look at what you have already done. I have such huge amount of respect for you and how you are doing.

----------


## Paula

Thank you all (and Happy Christmas EJ).  I always told my parents stubbornness would get me everywhere  :O: 

Got back from the in laws to a very cold house. Im currently under a heavy throw watching Michael McIntyre. Im very tired, it was a long day

----------


## Suzi

When is the boiler person coming out?

----------


## Strugglingmum

oh no. boiler again?? 
Hope you get sorted hun. Cold is no good for pain.x

----------


## Paula

Boiler man is coming tomorrow. We do, however, have a definite diagnosis - it needs a new gas valve, the boiler is fine but the gas is not always getting through to the boiler. So, hopefully, tomorrow itll be properly sorted.

And, no SM, cold is not good for pain ....... aaaarrrrrrggggghhhhh. Si is sure theres enough hot water for me to have a shower this morning - hes going to have one at the golf club  :O:

----------

OldMike (22-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

Hoorah for a diagnosis. Sorry it's not until tomorrow though lovely! Enjoy that hot shower. Lots of hot drinks to help warm you up hunni x

----------


## Paula

Ive been brave this morning - Ive asked about membership of a local pool and Ive signed up for a taster session at a rock choir!

----------


## Suzi

Oh wow! That's awesome on both counts!

----------


## EJ

:(party): Well done Paula

----------


## Mira

You rock!

----------


## Jaquaia

That's awesome!!!

----------


## Paula

:(blush):

----------


## OldMike

A rock choir that sounds awesome.

----------


## Strugglingmum

A rock choir sounds amazing!!!

----------


## Angie

Yay go you  :):

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing?

----------


## Paula

Im good  :O:

----------

OldMike (23-12-19)

----------


## Mira

And how is today treating you?

----------


## Paula

Hopefully warmly, once the engineer comes  :O:

----------


## Mira

It would be great if that could be sorted today. And that it will last a long time after. So you can be warm a bit longer this time.

----------


## Paula

So true  :):

----------


## Suzi

Keeping fingers crossed (in thought as I actually can't keep them crossed lol) that you get heat back today!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope you are feeling toasty!!

----------


## Suzi

Has the boiler person arrived? Fixed it?

----------


## Paula

Nope. He definitely said monday morning but when Si checked the app theyd changed it to tomorrow. Still, its working at the moment, long may that last

----------


## Suzi

Hope it lasts love!

----------


## Paula

I sound like a broken record but ....... its boiler day today (hopefully)  :):

----------


## Suzi

YAY for boiler person day!!!!

----------


## Mira

I am keeping my fingers crossed.

----------


## Paula

We have heat and hot water! Now Christmas can commence  :(party):

----------


## Suzi

Hooray for heating and hot water!!!

----------

Paula (24-12-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hurrah hurrah! !

----------

Paula (24-12-19)

----------


## Angie

Yayyyy xx

----------

Paula (24-12-19)

----------


## Mira

How are you doing? Apart from enjoying the heat  :):

----------


## Paula

Im great, thank you Mira. Looking forward to lunch with my family  :):

----------


## Suzi

Hope you've been spoilt rotten love!

----------


## Paula

Always :O:

----------

Suzi (25-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

Good!  :):

----------


## Flo

You're the third person in the last week I know that has had trouble with their boiler!!! Thank goodness for hot water!

----------


## Paula

What a treat! Ive had a letter from the Jobcentre asking me to go for an interview with proof of who I am, income etc on 17 Jan owing to changes in benefits. Except Im not on income related benefits .....

----------


## Mira

Could it be that you have a right to benefits? I had this with health care support. I was not entitled to it I learned after 2 years. And I did contact the tax office about that over 5 times and they told me it was ok. In the end I needed to pay back over 2000 euro.

----------


## Suzi

Hmm, call them and double check?

----------


## Paula

> Hmm, call them and double check?


I rang but the office isnt open til the 7th. Ive diarised to call them then




> Could it be that you have a right to benefits? I had this with health care support. I was not entitled to it I learned after 2 years. And I did contact the tax office about that over 5 times and they told me it was ok. In the end I needed to pay back over 2000 euro.


Im pretty certain I do, but it will be one of the questions I ask

----------


## Suzi

I sympathise. It's horrible having that hanging over your head....

----------


## Paula

Si and I are off to a friends for dinner tonight - though I feel sorry for him and my friends husband as weve been friends for over 35 years and they dont get a look in  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like loads of fun!  :):  Enjoy!!

----------


## Mira

Enjoy. You deserve a good time.

----------


## Jaquaia

Have fun!!!

----------


## Paula

We had a lovely time, great food and a few glasses of wine  :O: . I am also the cat whisperer. Her 2 were literally queueing up for cuddles with me !

----------


## EJ

That sounds lovely. I’m glad you had a good time xx

----------


## Suzi

So glad you had a good time oh cat whisperer!  :):

----------


## Paula

So, first day _sans_ morphine done  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

You're awesome! How are you feeling?

----------


## Paula

Nauseous, very irritated. Si is treading on eggshells lol

----------


## Jaquaia

Lots of rest while your body adjusts?

----------


## Strugglingmum

You're amazing :Panda:

----------


## Paula

I dont feel amazing, I just feel like every nerve is on edge. Thankfully, I know it will pass. Just hoping no one decides to  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  me off ...

----------


## Suzi

Going into the new year without it huh? Please be gentle with yourself love..... And breathe and count to 10 before you shout at Si  :O:

----------


## Paula

We dont do New Year, really. Its Katies birthday and were going out for lunch. Well possibly sit up to watch the fireworks from London but thats it so that doesnt bother me. But, yes, Ill be gentle - and will try to be nice on Si  :O:

----------


## Suzi

No, I meant starting 2020 without morphine..... 
We don't tend to do NYE either really.. Same as you, watch the fireworks and then head to bed!

----------


## Paula

Oh ok, that makes more sense  :O:  and, stupidly, I hadnt thought of it like that!!

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  How's it going lovely?

----------


## Paula

Aching, upset stomach, nausea. Same as lol.  Ill get through.

Ooo Im sitting on my new sofa in my downstairs lounge (how posh does that sound  :O: ). Just got to get it decorated now. Its so nice having a loo on the same floor as I am! (Especially today ....)

----------


## Suzi

OOOO that does sound posh! Are there pictures?

----------


## Mira

A new sofa. Thats nice. What does it look like?

----------


## Jaquaia

Assuming Suzi means the sofa and not the loo...  :(giggle):

----------


## Mira

Haha I hope so. Maybe its her thing? Seeing other peoples toilets  :): 

I have one on every floor. A loo I mean. Only have one sofa.....

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  Ill post pictures when its all done

----------


## Suzi

Definitely only meant the sofa lol

----------


## Paula

So, it was going to happen. Went for a walk and Jess and Si did their normal ganging up on me. I know they were only teasing but I got home and completely blew up at Si. Ive felt crap all day and it would have been nice to not have that to deal with too ...... still, I get productive when Im angry :/

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## EJ

I have this too with D and N. I feel your pain Paula. Don’t let it get you down xx

----------


## Suzi

Oh love, you know it's the morphine removal, the pain and the stress that's causing it.... You should hear the comments I've been getting about hopping or removing crutches.... I've found it's better to tell them when I'm heading towards "enough".....

----------


## OldMike

Paula & Suzi if the opposition gang up on you just thwack 'em on the shins with one of your crutches "oops sorry must've slipped"  :O:   :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):  I can't tell you how many times I've threatened that one lol

How are you today gorgeous?

----------


## EJ

I haven’t any crutches and am frequently ganged up on. I do hold my ground x

----------


## Paula

Honestly? Ive had to hold it together because its Katies birthday but, on the way home from our lunch with her, with me driving, I lost it with the 2 of them. At one point, as I was singing along to the radio, Jess said God, just kill me now!

But Katie had a lovely time, and loved her pressie, so thats the main thing

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni  :Panda:  :(bear):  :(bear): 

What did you get her?

----------


## Paula

A Swarovski ring

----------


## Suzi

I love Swarovski stuff!

----------


## Paula

Its gorgeous and goes perfectly next to the ring Dom got her for Christmas  :): 

Last night was a struggle - upset tum, nausea, headache, palpitations etc .... but we saw in the new year  :):

----------


## Suzi

How lovely! 

Well done lovely, well done. Hope you're feeling brighter this morning....

----------


## OldMike

I had to Google Swarovski and they make some beautiful stuff so giving Katie a Swarovski ring was a beautiful choice.

----------


## Mira

Hope you are feeling better. And what a lovely gift. It will not be long and you are getting some gifts too  :):

----------


## Paula

Oh Ive had my birthday present  :O:

----------


## Angie

What was that ?

Edit to say I love swarovski and use their beads making my jewellery x

----------


## Suzi

What???? Tell us everything!

----------


## Paula

Lol, we all had a £50 limit on Christmas pressies but mine was coming from America, apparently, and didnt arrive on time. So Si gave me my birthday present - my new iPad. I think, as it was expensive, hes going to sell the one from America to Jess to give to me  :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):  Nice  :O:

----------


## OldMike

Did I miss your birthday Paula you got your birthday present for Xmas and your Xmas present for your birthday!? Eeps so complicated is the life of a Princess  :O:

----------


## Mira

You did not miss her birthday. That is 5 days from now. So no worries on that front.

----------

Paula (01-01-20)

----------


## Paula

Nope, Mike,  mines on epiphany  :O: 

Its been a rough evening, Im really not coping well with this withdrawal. Itll pass, but its rubbish while its here. Tomorrow is a very quiet day, methinks

----------


## Allalone

:Panda:

----------

Paula (01-01-20)

----------


## Mira

Sorry to hear you had a rough evening. Sending my best wishes and good thoughts your way  :Panda:

----------

Paula (01-01-20)

----------


## Angie

Awww sweetie, but you have done it come off them and it is rough but you will get through it your one of the strongest people I know, please be kind to yourself xx

----------

Paula (01-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni, you can get through this love. I know you can.

----------


## Paula

I know I can too. Its just been a tough few days of it. Ill live  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Pfft, you'll do more than that, you'll sparkle and shine (now that song's gonna be stuck in your head too) your way through it. You're awesome. 

So.... How's stuff?

----------

Paula (02-01-20)

----------


## Paula

A bit brighter this morning. Im hoping the worst is over. Who knew coming off morphine was hard  :(giggle): ?  Today is going to be finished my cross stitch (hopefully - but dont hold me to that timescale  :O: )

----------


## Suzi

Glad you're a bit brighter! Morphine withdrawal is horrible. I'm so glad you're turning the last corners of it....

----------


## OldMike

Re morphine withdrawal hopefully the worst is past  :(bear): 

No rush with the cross stitch, as they say more haste less speed so it is steady as you go  :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Good to hear. And what timescale? You will be finished when its finished and that is the correct timescale  :):

----------

Paula (02-01-20)

----------


## Paula

> Good to hear. And what timescale? You will be finished when its finished and that is the correct timescale


So true

----------


## Suzi

How's it going lovely?

----------


## Paula

Ive been back stitching all day ..... grrrr. Ive spent the last hour trying to figure out where to put the yellow back stitch on the yellow cross stitch but, as I cant see them and they dont seem to be making any difference, Ive made an executive decision to forget that bit. Not far to go now but Ive stopped for the day.

Health wise, Im feeling better today  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

Good! 

Looking forward to seeing a photo of the finished product

----------


## Suzi

Hoorah for feeling better!  :):

----------


## Paula

Yay! Mum and dad coming for lunch for our belated Christmas Day  :):

----------

OldMike (04-01-20)

----------


## EJ

Sounds lovely Paula I hope you enjoy being with your family xx

----------


## Jaquaia

Have fun!

----------


## Angie

Awww brilliant. Have lots of fun sweetie  xx

----------


## Suzi

Happy belated Christmas Day with your parents!  :):

----------


## Angie

Hope today has been a good day sweetie xx

----------


## Mira

Hope your day is going great  :Kiss:

----------


## Paula

Its been lovely and mum and dad wanted me to open my birthday present (which is gorgeous) with them there. My card made me cry! It says, if people could pick their daughters, each and every one would pick a daughter just like you  :(inlove):

----------

Suzi (04-01-20)

----------


## Angie

Awwww that is lovely, am glad you have had a good day and what is the present?

----------


## Paula

A gorgeous necklace and bracelet they found in Majorca (dad found it!)

----------


## Angie

Awww sounds lovely pics please?

----------


## Jaquaia

That's so sweet! Sounds like you've had a wonderful day

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sounds wonderful

----------


## Paula

Mum took this today, you can see the necklace in it  :): 


upload

----------


## Mira

Thanks for sharing the foto. What a great looking necklace. And two lovely ladies.

----------

Paula (04-01-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

Beautiful

----------

Paula (04-01-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

You both look stunning and the necklace is gorgeous

----------

Paula (04-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

You can see where you get your beauty from! Your Mum is stunningly beautiful! That photo is awesome! So much love and happiness and smiles! The necklace is really pretty!

----------


## Paula

Mum is beautiful. We were looking through old (very old some of them) photos of my mums family and my Nan was stunningly beautiful - obvs I knew her older and she smoked like a chimney which takes its toll on skin - and my mum is the spitting image of her  :): .

----------

Suzi (04-01-20)

----------


## magie06

And I think you are the image of your mum. 
I have a very old photo of my gran (taken when she was about 15 - 16) and I allowed Ais to bring it to school last year, when they were doing their family tree. A lot of people saw a very good resemblance between the two of them. And I think Ais is like her dad's side.

----------

Paula (04-01-20)

----------


## Angie

Your mum is beautiful and so are you, the necklace is gorgeous x

----------

Paula (05-01-20)

----------


## Paula

Im tired today. We watched the 2nd episode of the new Dracula BBC series last night. Each episode was 1 1/2 hours long (and 3 in the series) but once wed watched the 2nd, we had to watch the 3rd. We didnt finish until 12:45am! It was epic! Proper old school horror with huge twists  :):

----------


## Suzi

ooo the first episode of that made me a bit squeamish! It was the bit as he tried the convent itms? Is the rest less grim?

----------


## Paula

A little, yes. He went through a journey

----------


## Angie

Hope today is a day of pacing and taking it easy x

----------


## Suzi

Thanks for the pointer! I'll have to watch it then  :O: 

Hope today is a bright one for you love.

----------


## Paula

My hands been flaring today but I wanted to do my cross stitch. So I did, but rested lots

----------


## Mira

Does doing cross stitch make it worse? And good that you took rest.

----------


## Paula

It does, but it doesnt really. By that I mean its neurological and can be triggered by a slight breeze - so I might as well do what I want anyway itms

----------


## Mira

I see, yes then if it is possible its good to do something. If the pain is not to bad. What are your plans for tomorrow?

----------


## Suzi

Good for you!  :):  Glad you're resting whilst doing what you want to do...

----------


## Paula

Im going out for dinner tomorrow evening with my family. Other than that I dont know - Si and Jess have both got the day off but I dont know if either of them have got anything planned

----------


## Suzi

Happy birthday!!!!

----------


## Paula

Thank you!  :):

----------


## Paula

So, Sis taking me to see Little Women *squeeeeaals* in Winchester to a cinema that has sofas for seats, and a bar  :(party):

----------


## Jaquaia

Sounds brilliant!!!

----------


## Angie

Ooooo enjoy xx

----------


## Suzi

Hope you are enjoying your afternoon!!

----------


## Paula

The film was great, the cinema was amazing (gin for lunch and a sundae brought, by a waiter, to my sofa in the screen!). And we had a lovely meal tonight  :):

----------


## Angie

Glad that you had a good time sweetie x

----------


## Suzi

So glad you had a good day x

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Im good. I had a few drinks so my darling family were convinced I was going to be a little worse for wear today - but Im good  :O: . At least I was until I weighed myself - diet starts today!  Other than that, its a cross stitch day - the rest of the week is quite busy so Im taking advantage of nothing in the diary today.

----------


## Angie

Glad your feeling ok sweetie, rest day sounds good x

----------


## EJ

> The film was great, the cinema was amazing (gin for lunch and a sundae brought, by a waiter, to my sofa in the screen!). And we had a lovely meal tonight


Sounds like ‘Everyman’ glad you enjoyed it xx

----------


## Paula

It was, EJ, loved it!

----------


## Suzi

My closet cinema is an Everyman. It's cool! 
Hope the cross stitch day is going well hunni x

----------


## Paula

Todays been busy  :): . After checking my tax details to confirm I had full NI credits, I spoke to the Jobcentre about the income appointment they sent through. She was really helpful - it looks like the tax office have finally flagged (several years later) a tax return I completed when my pension provider medically retired me and sent me a small payout. She cant see it being a problem but is going to do a telephone interview with me instead of me going in where I can talk the details of the payment through.

Ive also arranged to start back at my voluntary work on 20th Jan - and said not yet when my boss asked me if I wanted to rejoin the Readers Group (reviewing all the patient information leaflets the hospital produces)

And Ive finished all the stitching on my cross stitch - just got to attach some beads to it (I loathe doing french knots so almost always use seed beads instead)

Ive ordered the shopping, arranged with mum for her to join me to see Anton & Erin at my local theatre (Katies birthday present to me), and got the house back together after Christmas and birthdays

Its good to be back to normal  :):

----------

OldMike (08-01-20),Strugglingmum (07-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

Wow! That's all so amazing! 
The readers group sounds good  :O:

----------


## Paula

Lol, its not really, quite dull  :O:  but I know she likes me doing it as Ill actually give constructive feedback rather than some of the others wholl reply looks ok to everything

----------


## Suzi

It's a good way back in though... And you'll make a real difference.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Overvthe moon for you to be getting back.  Xx

----------

Paula (07-01-20)

----------


## Paula

> It's a good way back in though... And you'll make a real difference.


Not too many things at a time though - Im going to the rock choir next week, starting weekly shifts at the hospital and want to get swimming  :O:

----------

OldMike (08-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's a lot of things to me!  :):

----------


## magie06

I agree about the French knots!!! I hate trying to do them. I use beads too.

----------


## Suzi

I've never thought of using beads and have always struggled with the knots! 

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Im good. Walking over to see my bf, then my curate is coming this afternoon  :):

----------


## Suzi

Wow, I'm still so amazed that you're walking etc...

----------


## Paula

I forget sometimes, I did ask Si if I could have the car, then realised it was walkable  :O:

----------


## Angie

Still it shows how far you have come sweetie, xx

----------


## Suzi

That's just so amazing! Have you had a lovely day?

----------


## Paula

It has been a lovely day  :): 

Carpenters here tomorrow - yay!

----------



----------


## Suzi

Woohoo!!!

----------


## Angie

Glad you have had a good day sweetie xx

----------


## Paula

Today has been less good. The carpenters done a good job, Ive had a mani and pedi and the cleaners been so I should be grateful that I am so blessed but ....... I woke up (bolt upright) yelling in pain last night - it felt like Id been whacked across the knee with a baseball bat. And its sooooo sore today, I cant get warm and Im feeling very miserable today.

Whine over

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  I'm sorry huni. X

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni! I'm sorry you've had a crappy day.

----------


## Paula

Oh, Ill be ok. Got to get on with it tomorrow - having my hair done, got yoga and got friends coming for dinner  :O:

----------


## Suzi

OO get you, socialite!

----------


## Paula

Just before our guests arrive  :O:  I had a new colour today

----------

OldMike (11-01-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Gorgeous!!!

----------

Paula (11-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

Looks fab!  :):

----------

Paula (11-01-20)

----------


## Angie

That is lovely x

----------

Paula (11-01-20)

----------


## Paula

We had a great evening! Food was lovely, company was lovely. It was just a really chilled evening

----------

OldMike (11-01-20)

----------


## OldMike

Lovely lady with a lovely hairstyle but where's the tiara  :O: 

I'm so glad you had a great time.

----------

Paula (11-01-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

> We had a great evening! Food was lovely, company was lovely. It was just a really chilled evening


Sounds perfect

----------


## Suzi

Glad you had a good time lovely xx

----------


## Angie

Glad you enjoyed yourself sweetie x

----------


## Suzi

Morning Princess, how are you today?

----------


## Paula

Hey!  :O: . Im ok, though struggling to do anything today. I am doing stuff, its just a wading through treacle day. Still, Si made mutterings about going to see 1917, which Im looking forward to  :):

----------


## Suzi

OOOO I wanna see that movie - let me know what it's like?

----------


## Paula

Si didn't get tickets in time so they were sold out. I dont know if its me or him atm but hes irritating the hell out of me this weekend. Probably me.

Decorators coming tomorrow so weve been emptying the tv room and bathroom instead ....

----------


## Suzi

That sounds fun  :(:  Can you do it another day? 

Is it "just" Si?

----------


## Paula

Mainly, yeah. He really upset me by something he said on Friday and, though Im trying to get on with it, Im struggling

----------


## Suzi

Want to share what it was he said?

----------


## Paula

I feel ridiculous and like I overreacted but ...

We were talking about Polo and I said that, given his age and all his deteriorating health problems, hes got months left at best. Si was adamant he would have to beat Lunas age (just short of 14) which is unlikely given hes not 13 yet. Si got really p!ssed and told me that he was an optimist whereas I was a pessimist, that I always saw the bad side of things and that it means I always get the worst of it by anticipating bad things happening and actually experiencing those things - a double whammy. He wouldnt have it that Im just realistic and preparing for these things helps me cope better when they do happens. We had a bit of an argument

He went out with Polo and I was so upset - so text him:

Im texting this cos I might cry if I say it to you. I cant believe you think Im a pessimist - if I was, I wouldnt have gone to Bath as Id have believed it wouldnt help, I wouldnt have taken on board any of what they taught me or changed everything I do in the hope I could change my life for the better. I think, given everything thats happened to me over the years, Ive remained more optimistic than most people could have expected to be

His response? I didnt mean it, but if you attack my best friend (Polo) Im going to react.

----------


## Angie

I'm not sure you over reacted, but as you know it can be hard dealing with health issues with your pets especially when they get older aswell, and it can be hard to face that and I wonder if Si is refusing to face it may not be that long am sorry sweetie as I know it is so hard for you aswell. It sounds like you both deal with that in different ways. xx

----------


## Paula

Youre absolutely right, hes refusing to face it which worries me as I dont want Polo to suffer. And it leaves me with the responsibility and the fight, when the time comes

----------


## OldMike

Making the decision to have a pet put sleep is heartbreaking, there comes a point when the quality of life of the pet is so low it is the kindest option, Si should be supporting you not causing you more anguish.

FYI I certainly don't regard you as a pessimist, you get out there and do stuff. when you could no longer do cross stitch with both hands you found a way round it, Paula you're a strong fighter.

 :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Thank you, Mike. Though to be fair to Si he is usually amazingly supportive. I know hes just really, really struggling with the thought that Polo hasnt got much time left. And, as we all do when were in pain, hes lashing out. So I know I shouldnt really be hurt, but I am. So there you go :/

----------


## Angie

Oh sweetie, as the saying goes "you take it out on the one you love the most" he should not be lashing out at you though. But you are strong and your a strong couple and you will work it out, Si isn't going to want Polo to suffer though and he is sensible.

----------


## Suzi

I get it.... I have to think and prepare myself, Marc not so much so. I really feel for you love. 
Have you talked it through yet and cleared the air?
Oh and you are very far from pessimistic to me!

----------


## Paula

Rock choir tonight!!!  :Rock:  :Surprised:

----------


## EJ

I’m all for that. Well done xx

----------


## Suzi

Good for you! Report back after! 

Apart from being excited about rock choir, how are you?

----------


## Paula

A bit nervous about my phone interview with the Jobcentre tomorrow. Just trying to get all my pension paperwork together.

----------


## Angie

Oooo have fun tonight, and it can be a bit nerve wrackign with the jobcentre

----------


## Strugglingmum

Enjoy Rock Choir. Sounds like great fun

----------


## Suzi

You'll be fine with the jobcentre - Is Si going to be at home with you?

----------


## Paula

I hadnt asked him....

----------


## OldMike

I'm sure you'll be okay  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

> I hadn’t asked him....


Why hadn't you asked him? You're concerned which will f*ck with your anxiety and mood etc etc when you're already dealing with withdrawal etc and you think you can do this on your own? Ask him. You're a team. If not, I'll be on the phone for you if you want/need?

----------


## Paula

Yes, boss  :(blush):

----------


## Suzi

Have you asked him yet?

----------


## Paula

Yes, hes here and will be on hand

So, Rock Choir was pretty awesome. Nothing like I expected - to start with there was 150 people! Its very organised, very professional, with a musical director and incredible arrangements.  Because it was so huge, I didnt feel self conscious. Everyone I spoke to was lovely but I didnt have everyones attention because of my disability itms. I just sang  :): . And its the first day of the term so we were all in the same boat with learning the first piece (which was Super Trouper btw - I was so in my element!). Next week we start learning John Legend All of Me

----------

Flo (17-01-20),OldMike (17-01-20),Strugglingmum (17-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

Hooray for Si!

AWESOME about rock choir! So proud of you for going!

----------

Paula (17-01-20)

----------


## OldMike

That's awesome glad you enjoyed the rock choir (I knew you would).

Just had to post this, I love these rock choir videos

Rock Choir - Something Inside So Strong (Live at Wembley Arena).

----------

Paula (17-01-20),Suzi (17-01-20)

----------


## Flo

Well done you Princess S! :(bear):

----------

Paula (17-01-20)

----------


## Paula

Jobcentre interview went fine - the monies they were querying was a pension lump sum which doesnt affect my ESA.

----------


## Suzi

YAY! That's fabulous news!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Rock Choir sounds amazing. Great news about your ESA

----------


## Angie

Glad it went well with the jobcentre sweetheart, hope your going to relax and rest now as it can be stressful even if we don't think we are stressed at the time we can realise after x

----------


## Paula

I was shaking a bit, Angie, though Si couldnt understand it because he said what I did last night was more nerve wracking  :O: 

Ive sounded up to be a member of the Rock Choir now!

I was on FaceTime with my parents earlier. I thought Si was up the golf course. I was talking about our row the other day over Polo - when I got off the call, I realised he was still home. I dont know if he heard but I hope not. I didnt say anything horrible because there wasnt anything horrible to say, just that were seeing the vet tonight and Im concerned about our different views.....

----------


## Angie

I can understand the shaking, it will be stress and anxiety, I'm sure Si would say something if he heard hunni but you haven't been horrible, hope things go ok with the vet tonight 
Well done for signing upto the choir x

----------


## Suzi

Shaking is totally understandable! 

Hope tonight goes OK.

----------


## Paula

Polos ok, just need to up his meds a bit (sounds familiar.....  :O: ). Now Si is busy cooking a sausage and onion plait thats under 400 calories, allegedly, Im sitting here with a (lower than other alcoholic drinks) gin and chilling lol

----------


## Jaquaia

That sounds positive

----------


## Angie

It does sound positive xx

----------


## Paula

Anybody here who knows me will understand my excitement at this news ........


*ROCK CHOIR DOES FLASH MOBS!!!!!*

----------

OldMike (18-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's epic!!!!!

----------


## Paula

I know!!!!!!!!

----------


## Angie

:Hedgehog:

----------


## Suzi

You've got to get the ones you're in recorded! I LOVE a good flashmob!

----------


## EJ

I had to look it up. Well done x

----------


## Paula

Im not having a good day, shaky. Ive had a long bath which didnt really help. Its my nephews birthday so weve been invited over for birthday cake but Ive told Si I cant go. Wed also talked about going swimming this afternoon but Sunday is going to be busy and I cant face people today.

I know its cos Ive pushing myself so today is a self care today, especially as Ive got my first shift at the hospital tomorrow afternoon

----------


## Suzi

Anything I can do? Don't underestimate how much you have been doing and the stress with the jobcentre etc....

Definitely a self care day or two might be in order?

----------

Paula (19-01-20)

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Paula

Ive had a quiet day. Tomorrow, I start my voluntary work again

----------


## Strugglingmum

All the best wishes in the world for tomorrow.  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

So, its taken me a while but Ive figured out whats up today. Its 7 years since I had my fall and, despite being so much more positive about the future, its thrown me still

----------


## Angie

It will do babe take it easy on youirself xx

----------


## Suzi

7 years? Wow.... Look at the journey you've been on. You're amazing. 

Hope your first shift goes well later love.

----------

Paula (20-01-20)

----------


## Paula

7 years! Driving Si to the station today, I commented that this time 7 years ago, we were trying to decide if I needed to go to hospital ....... Im so glad I did lol

----------


## Suzi

I remember you posting after you'd hurt it...

----------


## Paula

> I remember you posting after you'd hurt it...


Yep, I made sure it was after I stopped swearing like a sailor!

First shift back at my voluntary work today and it went really well. It felt like I was there yesterday  :): 

But the big news is ....... today I swam properly, without a float even, for the first time since I hurt my leg! Im not winning medals for my technique but I did it  :(party):

----------

OldMike (21-01-20),Strugglingmum (21-01-20)

----------


## Angie

Yay way to go xx

----------

Paula (20-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

That is amazing! I hope you're resting tomorrow?

----------


## Paula

Ish ..... Si, Jess and I are going to watch 1917  :):

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's great news Paula. Xx

----------


## Paula

Ive rediscovered muscles I forgot I had this morning  :O:  but its a good feeling

----------


## Suzi

OOO I've heard so many good things about it. I can't wait to hear about it! 

How are you doing love?

----------


## Paula

Im good  :):

----------


## Suzi

Pacing day?

----------


## Paula

Any of my crafty friends fancy this?

https://www.facebook.com/15313263811...2881432469096/

----------


## Paula

> Pacing day?


Sorry, we cross posted. Going to the cinema but otherwise its a quiet day

----------


## Suzi

> Any of my crafty friends fancy this?
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/15313263811...2881432469096/


Hmm, another group were saying that they had enough... But seems good if it's on the BBC news site!

----------


## Paula

That tends to be my benchmark too

----------


## Suzi

Lol!!

----------


## Paula

1917 was incredible, harrowing, awesome, harrowing, brilliant. Oh, and I mention harrowing? What a horrible, horrible war

----------


## OldMike

Not my sort of movie by the sounds of it, though I suppose it is okay to highlight how horrible war is lest we forget.

Wow you're back working and swimming again Paula you really are inspirational  :):

----------


## Suzi

Sounds incredible. It's definitely on my to watch list.

----------


## Mira

:Panda:  :Panda:  I am glad to read you are doing better. Sorry for not sending the hugs sooner.

----------


## Suzi

How are you today gorgeous?

----------


## Paula

I had a rough night - woke up yelling again. And couldnt move to get more comfortable, I was stuck on my side. So Im tired and sore. I had planned to go for a swim today but decided that probably wasnt wise ...... and poor Si has had to go to work on a very disturbed night. Resting day, today

----------


## Suzi

Which "bit" was causing pain? I'm glad you're listening to your body and resting...

----------


## Paula

My knee was screaming at me. My body is still adjusting to no morphine and me doing much more, I expect. No one said this would be easy  :O:

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  You're awesome. I'm so glad you are listening to your body though lovely...

----------

OldMike (22-01-20),Paula (22-01-20)

----------


## magie06

But you do know that you are amazing, don't you?

----------

OldMike (22-01-20),Paula (22-01-20)

----------


## OldMike

Paula you are doing so much maybe you need to dial back things a little.

I totally agree with the others you are amazing, you've come off morphine and are doing much much more, so a rest day is called for or else I'll call Angie who has a plentiful supply of kippers and you wouldn't want that would you  :O:

----------

Paula (22-01-20)

----------


## Paula

No, Im not dialling back - having my life back is way too important. Im not going to look for more challenges just yet though

----------


## Suzi

Good for you!

----------


## magie06

Are you still wearing your under pants on the outside?

----------


## Paula

Ive just taken my bra off without taking my jumper off first - does that count?  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

That's a skill!!!

----------

Paula (23-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's an epic skill!  :): 

How are you today? Sleep better?

----------


## Paula

Yep, slept through thankfully - Si had to wake me at 7.45  :):   Im off for a swim in a bit

----------


## Angie

Enjoy your swim x

----------


## Strugglingmum

Well done superwoman.  Enjoy your swim. x

----------


## Suzi

Hooray! Go you!  :):

----------


## Paula

Did swimming and exercises for 20 minutes then 10 mins easing my sore muscles in the jacuzzi  :O: .

Very, very excited right now - Ive got Wimbledon tickets on centre court, 2nd week!!!!!!!!!!!

----------

OldMike (23-01-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

Awesome!!!

----------


## Strugglingmum

That is all fabulous. Go you. I'm not a tennis fan but I certainly wouldn't turn down Wimbledon tickets....... if I lived in England!!

----------


## EJ

Well done Paula you are going in  leaps and bounds xx

----------

Paula (23-01-20)

----------


## magie06

I think you are amazing!!

----------


## Suzi

Wimbledon tickets? OOO in case you struggle with parking, you can park at my house and get the train to Wimbledon - less than 30 mins straight line  :O:  

I'm so proud of you! What're up to tomorrow?

----------


## Paula

Yoga tomorrow  :):

----------


## Angie

Sounds like a fun packed week sweetie xx

----------


## Suzi

OO enjoy yoga today lovely.

----------


## Paula

Rock Choir was amazing. I love singing and I havent laughed that hard in forever  :):

----------

Suzi (24-01-20)

----------


## OldMike

Woo hoo you're on fire, Rock Choir, swimming, Wimbledon & back working  :(party):

----------


## Suzi

So glad you had such a good time!

----------


## magie06

You have had a wonderful week. What's on the agenda for the weekend? Resting, pacing??

----------


## Paula

Ill try to get a swim in, Ive got an appointment at the opticians and my frame has just arrived for my cross stitch so Ill try to get that done  :):

----------


## magie06

I hope you don't think you'll get a full cross stitch done in a w/e?

----------


## Paula

No lol, I want to frame it in the weekend (properly - not just stick in in the frame itms)

----------


## magie06

That makes complete sense. I received a new project in the post this morning and I can't wait to get started. Every thing else can wait.

----------

Paula (24-01-20)

----------


## Suzi

I think it's going to be stunning! And a swim?

----------


## Paula

Ive just offered up the picture to the frame and it really is stunning! And I realised its the first big project Ive done that Im keeping  :): 

Yep, Im planning on a swim, probably Sunday as Ive got to go to town tomorrow for the opticians and *shudder* deal with the crowds lol

----------


## Suzi

Good for you! Are you enjoying swimming? How is your knee dealing with it?

----------


## Paula

Im loving swimming - I was always a water baby. My knee is feeling it but I can already feel, with the yoga too, how much stronger Im getting  :):

----------


## Suzi

I love water too! I'm so proud of you for pushing yourself - just don't overdo it love.

----------


## Angie

I'm another that is proud of you xx

----------


## Paula

Work today, had a good time but absolutely shattered now. And Polos not well - he refused his walk with the dog walker, isnt eating and just generally lethargic  :(:

----------


## Suzi

Oh no, poor Polo! Hope it's just the change with you going out, rather than anything serious... 

Are you resting tonight? What about tomorrow?

----------


## Paula

No, hes properly poorly, poor baby

Tomorrow Im having a french manicure, then resting

----------


## Suzi

Oh poor baby... 

Enjoy the manicure lovely....

----------


## Suzi

Morning lovely, how's Polo this morning? How are you?

----------


## Paula

Polos much the same. Every window near him is open because he stinks! Hes so lethargic  :=(:

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni that's so sad... Marc's Mum's dog was similar and went to the vet - turns out she needed her anal glands expressed.....Could it be something that simple?

----------


## Paula

I dont know. I wanted to make an appointment with the vets but Si has said to wait til he gets home so he can see how he is...... but hes not himself


rigged coin

----------


## Suzi

Awww poor Polo! He doesn't look as normal...

----------


## OldMike

:Panda:  x10 for Polo and you Paula

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Ginny

:Panda: 

Oh, I canÂ´t edit my post; I wanted to add: I hope Polo gets well soon!

----------


## Paula

> Oh, I canÂ´t edit my post; I wanted to add: I hope Polo gets well soon!


Thank you, hunni 

You wont be able to edit until weve got to know you a bit better - not anything against you, it just means we can protect against nasty scammers  :O: . Ive merged your posts for you  :): 


In other news, I closed my eyes for 5 minutes after lunch, and woke up at 5.30! I obviously needed the rest .....

----------


## Strugglingmum

Poor guy. Sending you both hugs :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

You obviously did need the rest. Could you possibly be overdoing things?

----------


## Paula

As long as I allow days like today where I could rest/sleep if I needed it, Ill be fine. On that note, tomorrow Im going for a swim, meeting my friend for lunch and going to Housegroup .....

Ive just been going through the harmonies for Rock Choir - Super Trouper and it seems like my voice has dropped. Ive been in the soprano section but Im definitely now an upper alto. So now Ive got to learn new harmonies - but at least I can actually reach all the notes!  :(giggle):

----------


## Jaquaia

I have absolutely no idea what you just said...

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## EJ

I think I understand Paula. You are doing lots and breaking new ground. Paula you are achieving lots so there will be the inevitable set backs. Paula you are going to need rest days and you seem to factor those in. Well done xx

----------

Paula (28-01-20)

----------


## Paula

Thank you EJ, that means a lot

----------


## Mira

I hope the swim is going to be great.

How is Polo doing?

----------


## Paula

Polo is a lot brighter this morning. Si and I managed to get him to go for a short walk late last night and, without going into details, hes definitely got an upset tummy....

----------


## Suzi

Yay for a brighter Polo! 
I'm so glad you're enjoying Rock Choir! 

How was the swim? Lunch? House group?

----------


## Paula

Swim was lovely, lunch was even better. Housegroup tonight lol. Ive also got some keys cut, picked up my new contact lenses and put my cross stitch up on the wall  :):

----------


## Suzi

We need pics of the cross stitch on the wall! 
Sounds like a mega busy day.... What've you got on tomorrow?

----------


## Paula

Just rock choir in the evening

----------


## Suzi

So a bit of pacing then?

----------


## Paula

Lol yeah, Im taking my lead from the boss lady  :O:

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):   :(rofl):   :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Yuck, Im working tomorrow morning and, as I need the car and want to get a swim in, Im taking Si to the train station at 7am, going for a swim then and going straight to work for 8.45 ...... 

Im very excited though - Ive got my second follow up at Bath next month so Si and I have decided to book into a city centre hotel and make a long weekend of it  :):

----------


## Suzi

Are you pushing it a bit hard with taking Si, swimming and work all in one day? 

Hooray for the long weekend in Bath! It's been years since I was there, it's a beautiful city - or it was lol

----------


## EJ

Years since I went to Bath too. I hope you enjoy it xx

----------


## Paula

Sis taking Jesss car so thats one thing less. Swimming energises me tbh

As for Bath, Ive loved it for years and spending a month there, though seems like it should be enough, definitely wasnt  :):

----------


## Suzi

You sound so positive still. I'm so pleased for you and even more proud of you!

----------


## Paula

Si changing my planned timetable for this morning obviously threw me - Ive turned up for work an hour early doh  :(rofl): . Still, now sitting in Costa with a coffee  :O:

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  Oops! Still planning on swimming later?

----------


## Paula

Definitely!

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo!

----------


## Paula

Definitely not myself. Yesterday I had no energy and couldnt focus on anything. Today, I went for a swim but only managed 10 minutes before I was absolutely exhausted......

I had a lucky break, though. I was just about to leave the pool when I realised my wedding ring had disappeared - and was very, very worried itd come off in the pool. Reception took the details and rung just as I was nearly home - itd been found in the changing rooms  :(whew):

----------

Arty (05-02-20),OldMike (05-02-20)

----------


## Suzi

So glad you found it!!!

Maybe you need a rest this afternoon?

----------


## Paula

Yeah, I am. Im not going to Housegroup tonight either

----------


## Suzi

I know how hard it is to cancel things... How's the resting gone?

----------


## Paula

Ive managed to do a little research for work. So at least today hasnt been a complete washout but Im so tired, its definitely a treacle sort of day ....

----------


## Suzi

I hate those days..  :Panda:

----------

Paula (05-02-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

Hope you feel brighter tomorrow  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Polos poorly again  :(:  so were keeping a close eye on him because theres a nasty bug going round.

Im off to meet my ex MILand ex SIL for coffee later and, assuming Polo doesnt need to go to the vets, Im got Rock Choir tonight (so Ill be practising Super Trouper for the rest of the da6. ))

----------


## magie06

It really sounds like you are enjoying rock choir.

----------


## Paula

I love it!

----------


## EJ

I wish I was coming - too far away. Sounds like an excellent way to beat the blues xx

----------


## Paula

It really is EJ  :):

----------


## Suzi

So glad you're loving it! 

Poor Polo!

----------


## Paula

Yeah, change of plans.  Hes been really sick s9 Ive got to take him to the vets. So no coffee, and Rock Choir may not be on the cards depending on what happens with him. My poor boy  :(:

----------


## Jaquaia

Bless him! Hope it's easily sorted  :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Poor Polo. Hope he gets sorted.  :Panda:

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Oh no. I am hoping for the best.

----------


## Paula

Well, hes at the vets for a couple of hours on a drip- hes having anti sickness drugs, painkillers and theyre running bloods. Hes also lost 2.5 kg in a couple of weeks. Top of the tree re potential diagnoses are, a tummy bug, pancreatitis or his kidneys are failing. So we shall see how he goes

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Is there any news? Poor Polo!

----------


## Paula

Hes home but hes really not well so Sis going to stay with him tonight and we see how he is in the morning

----------


## Suzi

How's Polo? How did he go overnight?

----------


## Paula

Hes very quiet and his tummy is obviously sore but hes calmer than yesterday so were just going to wait for the bloods and go from there

----------


## Suzi

Aww, you having a snuggle with Polo day?

----------


## Paula

Sis home so I dont get a look in  :O: . I had a hair appt and yoga booked in and Sis told me to go to them rather than hanging around for the vet to call

----------


## Suzi

Lol... Any news yet?

----------


## Paula

The bloods arent back yet but hes got to have his cannula out so weve made an apt with the vet at 5.30 to talk it over. I have to admit Im struggling - Si keeps saying hell be ok but Im so worried.

Still, because their house is being decorated, weve got Katie and Dom staying wit us for the weekend  :):

----------


## Suzi

Hope it's good news re Polo... 

Enjoy your time with Katie and Dom.

----------


## Paula

So, hes perked up a big, eaten a few mouthfuls of chicken. The vet is happy that hes not quite as sore in the tummy. We only have some bloods back, the pancreatitis is due tomorrow. Hopefully, hes over the worst

----------


## Suzi

Hope so!

----------


## Strugglingmum

That sounds good. Hope he continues to improve. X

----------


## Suzi

How's he doing today? How are you all?

----------


## Paula

Hes still very tired but has been barking at Si so hes definitely on the mend . :):

----------


## OldMike

I thought greyhounds were too laid back to bother with barking  :O:  I'm glad Polo is on the mend  :):

----------


## Paula

Lol no although Polo didnt bark for several months after we adopted him  :O:

----------


## Suzi

2 of ours don't bark. Moiya can't due to what happened to her, Willow can't due to brain injury... Crash however, more than makes up for it! 

Hoorah for Polo barking! That's fabulous news!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Glad Polo is recovering.  That's great news.  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

Oh  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: . Sis had Jess in a state cause shes really unhappy with work. Apparently she said shes been coming home and crying. Shes really down......

So, Si has suggested she look at university and theyve booked her on the Winchester open day. 

It breaks my heart that shes been so low and kept it to herself  :=(:

----------


## Suzi

Aw poor baby! I thought she was happy? It's so hard that she's been keeping it to herself...  :Panda:  :(bear):  :(bear):  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

I thought she was too. But thats the way shes always been.

----------


## Strugglingmum

at least she has opened up now and you can help her move forward. But yes, it's so hard when you realise they've been hiding it all.  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

Shes in good spirits this morning, despite a power cut and not being able to straighten her hair  :O: . Hopefully a weights been lifted.

Weve heard from the vet, bloods are all ok but shes said theyve had a lot of dogs come in over the last 24 hours with vomiting so theres obviously a bug going round.  Hes a lot brighter this morning so hopefully hes on the mend

----------


## Suzi

I completely agree with SM. It's a really good thing that it's all come out now. At least she now able to tell you what's going on.... And neither of you are judging her, just supporting her with her next steps.

----------


## Jaquaia

It's good that she's told you.

----------


## Paula

Well, shes told Si.....

----------


## Suzi

But you and Si are a united force.... I know here the kids tell Marc and I different things, but they know that we will talk to each other about it too.... I know you'd want her to have told you first... Sorry she didn't. But, she's told someone and you and I know rationally that's the most important thing. But I totally get your feelings too...  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------

Paula (09-02-20)

----------


## Paula

Well, I may qualify for mum of the day (at least in one specific house in Hampshire). I found out that one of the ladies from church, who is going to the same Womens Weekend as I am, has worked at Windsor Castle for over a decade. Given my youngests love of all things Royal and the history of the palaces, the Royal Family etc, Ive messaged this lady to ask if I can pick her brains during the Weekend about how to have a career in that area! Shes come back to me and is happy to do that but also has promised tickets to visit and also at Hampton Court, any time we want. Jess is going to lurrrrve me  :(giggle): 

In other news, I landed heavily on my knee yesterday while trying to get on the floor to do some yoga. And Im in flare from my knee to my hip .....

----------

Strugglingmum (10-02-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

Please say tomorrow is a rest day?

----------


## Paula

Yeah it is

----------


## Suzi

ERM Hampton Court Palace is about 10 mins away from me! If you come we HAVE to meet up!

----------


## Paula

Absolutely!

----------

Suzi (11-02-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Congratulations mum of the year!!!! 
Ooooooo that sounds painful. See sitting in the couch eating marshmallows wouldn't have damaged your knee.  :P:

----------


## Suzi

How's your knee? Are you resting today?

----------


## Paula

> Congratulations mum of the year!!!! 
> Ooooooo that sounds painful. See sitting in the couch eating marshmallows wouldn't have damaged your knee.


Given I hurt it while drunk in the first place, I think youve got a point. Nothing but marshmallows for me, ever again  :O: 




> How's your knee? Are you resting today?


Its ok atm but I am taking it easier today (says she having just cleared out half of the downstairs cupboard ......)

----------


## Suzi

Why are you cleaning out cupboards whilst your knee has taken a bashing?

----------


## Paula

Because it needs doing.....

----------


## Suzi

What today? Definitely by you?

----------


## Paula

i needed to move some stuff out of another room by Thursday, and am working tomorrow.

----------


## Suzi

Hmm....... 
How are you this evening love?

----------


## Paula

A little sore and currently debating whether a swim tomorrow will be beneficial or detrimental

----------


## Suzi

Maybe rest a bit?

----------


## Paula

Apart from working you mean?  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Yes, well I was hoping you could rest either side of that....

----------


## Strugglingmum

Wait and see how you feel in the morning.  X

----------


## Paula

> Yes, well I was hoping you could rest either side of that....


Ermmmm  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

So... How are you today? How's your knee?

----------


## OldMike

> A little sore and currently debating whether a swim tomorrow will be beneficial or detrimental


A difficult one, swimming may help though refrain from diving off the high board  :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

Im good, knee is getting better but Im not going to swim today as my hip is still aching.

----------


## Suzi

Sounds sensible x

----------


## Paula

What a morning! Jess had a very minor accident (shes not hurt which is the only thing that matters) and her car has ended up in a muddy ditch by the side of a country road. Si had the car so Katie had to leave work to pick her up. Green Flag wont come out to pull it out of the ditch (apparently they only do technical repairs) so we have to get someone out to do it. And Ive been on the phone to the police for what feels like half the morning to report it

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! I'm glad she's OK, but you must have had such a fright!

----------


## Paula

I did, so did she, bless her. A lady stopped and sat with her for 10 minutes because she had a daughter (Jesss) age and would hope someone would stop for her if it came to it. What a lovely lady!

----------


## Suzi

Aww I did the same for a lovely young lady who crashed into the corner of our road a while back.... 

Hope the car's not too damaged love.

----------


## Angie

Hope she is ok sweetie

----------


## Paula

Shes fine, and theyve got the car back  :):

----------

Angie (14-02-20),OldMike (13-02-20),Suzi (13-02-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

What a fright for you all! Glad Jess is ok. X

----------


## Suzi

So glad lovely....

----------


## Suzi

Hey you! You're quiet how are you?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, got a sore throat and feeling a bit flat but Im ok. Ive got two eye hospital spots this morning :/ but also got yoga later so that should cheer me up

----------


## Suzi

Oh lovely, I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish...

----------


## Paula

Yoga was great and, after waking up my leg muscles using a band (dont ask) I was able to walk a few steps unaided!

Eye appointment was a mixed bag - he reckons itll be years before my cataracts are an issue, my tests were fine but my optic nerves are still as swollen as they were in December, despite doubling the meds dose. So theyll continue monitoring until neurology tell them different (oh and it was suggested I lose weight, again)

----------


## Suzi

Unaided? That's amazing! Well done love! 

Sorry about the eye appointment..

----------


## OldMike

Using a band, I know you said don't ask but I'm intrigued, say no more some things are best not to know  :O: 

I've got cataracts too (though I wouldn't know) but the optician said it it'll be years if ever before anything needs doing, in other words the grim reaper will call me in before anything needs doing, I thought thanks for making my day  :(giggle): 

I'm glad you're enjoying your yoga Paula.

----------


## Paula

Ok the band..... its a long strap type thing that hooks underneath the foot and is then pulled tight against the leg and held against the butt-ock as a sort of sling. Then walk. Easy  :O: 

Ive been asleep most of the evening, definitely a hint of man flu going on

----------


## Suzi

That sounds dignified and elegant...  :O: 

Glad you got some sleep!

----------


## Paula

dignified and elegant is my motto  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

I wouldn't have expected anything less....

----------


## Paula

My nose is streaming, my throat is on fire. feeling distinctly sorry for myself  :(:

----------


## Jaquaia

Rest, rest and rest! :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! (Mind you F appears to have man flu and I hope you winge less than she does!) 

Hope you're resting and being looked after.

----------


## Paula

Yep Im resting, in fact my sofa is taking on the shape of my bum  :(rofl): . Si and Jess came home from the uni open day with flowers for me so Im feeling very loved and looked after. Im off to bed very soon

----------


## Suzi

Aww! How did the uni open day go?

----------


## Paula

Really well, shes definitely going to apply  :):

----------


## OldMike

> My nose is streaming, my throat is on fire. feeling distinctly sorry for myself


You poor love I think a G & T plus feet up is on the menu for today.

Woo hoo I'm glad Jess enjoyed the uni open day.

----------


## Suzi

> Really well, shes definitely going to apply


That's great! I'm so pleased for her! 

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Snotty, aching, red nose

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:   :(bear):  *passes tissues, hot lemon and honey and a blanket*

----------

Paula (23-02-20)

----------


## Paula

*takes tissues, begs for more*

----------


## Suzi

*passes a pallet load of the softest tissue only suitable for the delicate nose of a Princess*

----------


## Paula

:(giggle):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sorry you aren't feeling well Paula. Xx :Panda:

----------

Paula (23-02-20)

----------


## Suzi

Hey Snotty McGrotty.... How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Snotty, croaky. Desperately hoping I improve today as tomorrow is the first day of a 7 week course at the church which Ive been looking forward to

----------


## OldMike

Another day of pampering is on the cards  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

OO What's the course you're going to be doing?

----------


## Paula

Its called Uncover John and, as you might expect, studies Johns Gospel. Im really looking forward to it.

Ive also contacted Moore College in Australia who are now doing an online course in the theology studies I did years ago. Theyve accepted my previous certificates By the Good Book College as evidence Ive done their courses and I can now do the 2nd level of their qualifications. I had to stop before as they werent offering the courses online.

----------



----------


## EJ

Sounds really interesting. Well done you xx

----------

Paula (24-02-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's awesome. Are you doing these for self study or to go towards a degree or something?

----------

Paula (24-02-20)

----------


## Paula

The John one is just a church study group. The Moore college is a very well respected theological course worldwide and can lead to all sorts - but Im doing it because I want to  :):

----------

OldMike (25-02-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's cool! You're doing so many more things now - is that since dropping the morphine and being more active? - Is it a direct result from Bath?

----------


## Paula

Yes and yes. Good isnt it?  :O:

----------

OldMike (25-02-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

It's bloody brilliant!!!

----------

Paula (24-02-20)

----------


## Paula

Oooooo Ive enrolled in the theology course and start 1 April!!

----------


## Suzi

That's amazing. You're really doing so much more now! Getting out and about and getting your life back on track!

----------


## Suzi

Hey you! How was Mum? Anton and Erin?

----------


## Paula

I had an amazing day yesterday! We spent hours roaming around an antiques centre, had lunch together and last night was awesome! My hand still hurts from clapping, I practically lost my voice and my ribs and jaw aches from laughing  :): . And it was so lovely to have the day with mum

----------


## Suzi

That sounds wonderful! I'm so glad you had a good day! Mum must be blown away with your massive increased mobility etc?

----------


## Paula

:):  Im very lucky in that my parents have always been blown away with my achievements, big or small. And yes, I do know how rare that can be.

----------


## Suzi

That's awesome. I love the comments you get from your parents on FB - esp your Mum who is always telling you how much she loves you and how proud of you she is...

----------

Paula (29-02-20)

----------


## Paula

A friend posted this on fb. Totally me today!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sorry you're feeling quanked!! Bit of a dangerous word for auto correct. .... You can only imagine what it suggested to me as an alternative

----------


## Suzi

ROFL autocorrect!

Are you feeling less quanked today?

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  not really but another busy day ahead

----------


## Suzi

OOO what'cha up to today?

----------


## Paula

At church for the study group, then bloods. And this evening maybe having someth8ng different done to my hair  :O:

----------


## OldMike

New style, new colour bet you look great  :(nod):

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo! Sounds like a lovely day! What are you doing to your hair lovely?

----------


## Paula

Erm, well were going to try to find a way of me heading towards no colour

----------


## Suzi

No colour? You're going to embrace the grey?

----------


## OldMike

Grey/white hair is beautiful, you'll look great I'm sure  :(nod):

----------

Paula (03-03-20)

----------


## Paula

> No colour? You're going to embrace the grey?


Thats the plan  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Darling you could be wearing nothing but a bin bag and you'd still look absolutely amazing! You'll rock the silver!

----------


## Paula

Its going to be a slow process, my hairs got so many colours in it so today Im now a dark blond sort of colour, next time itll be a couple of shades darker, and then, hopefully, it wont be too obvious Im growing the grey out.

Went to see the nurse for blood test today and had worked myself up to asking for help losing weight. It didnt quite go according to plan. The nurse said Id have to go to reception to get info on weight loss support. It was very busy so I quietly asked the 12 year old skinny girl on reception, and she didnt seem to get that I was not keen on broadcasting this to everyone cos she told me at what felt like a shout that they suggested weightwatchers or the dr could refer me to a gym. So, mortified, I mumbled something about doing exercise already and left. Oh and my blood pressures up again.......

Ive signed up with weightwatchers

----------


## Suzi

Oooo that's a horrible experience at the drs!  :Panda:  :(bear):  :Panda:  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

Yesterday and today Ive been to the dentist. I have gum disease which, the hygienist told me today, is because my various medications are severely drying my mouth out. So, Ive got to have a regime of brushing my teeth for 4 minutes, mouthwash (at £8 a pop) mid morning and mid afternoon and not spitting out toothpaste - yuck.  Ive also got to have another bridge. Si and I had a dust up last night because he didnt get how my weight, my teeth and just general health stuff is severely affecting my self confidence at the moment. I cried a lot and shouted a lot. Im just fed up with it all

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

I really feel for you. I sympathise as I have dental issues - again caused through meds. Sweetheart are you being kind to you today?

----------


## Strugglingmum

sending hugs  :Panda: 
I am becoming very long in the tooth due to gum disease which no amount of brushing and glossing seems to cure. it's a real pain.

----------


## Paula

Thank you, girls. Suzi, I decided that, as Ive had a tough and busy week, have a busy day tomorrow, and have been taking Si to the train station at 7am every day this week, that Im not going to Rock Choir tonight - I need the rest

----------


## Suzi

I'm so pour of you for making the decision to put your health first and rest... What have you got on tomorrow? Anything that can be postponed if needed? 
Did you and Si sort out your argument last night?

----------


## Paula

Tomorrow Im visiting my friend whose just had a horrible treatment to try to fix her CRPS in her foot - she lives alone so needs the company atm. Then theres yoga (which will be good for me).
Si told me so many lovely things last night but he also said I should have told him I was struggling. He said that for someone whos so open and honest, He couldnt believe I was holding it all in..... so today, after the hygienist, I rang him at work and told him how  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: ed off I was about it and dared him to complain  :O:

----------


## EJ

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

I'm so glad that you talked to him - and he's right. Stop holding it in!!!

Make sure with everything tomorrow you build in some you time please!  :):

----------


## Paula

Im humbled and honoured - our curate who runs the Womens Weekend (which is this weekend) has just asked me to lead the Sunday morning session  :):

----------

Jaquaia (09-03-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

That's brilliant but not surprising as you're awesome!

----------

Paula (09-03-20)

----------


## Paula

I did panic at first lol

----------


## OldMike

> I’m humbled and honoured - our curate who runs the Women’s Weekend (which is this weekend) has just asked me to lead the Sunday morning session


Woo hoo that's brilliant  :(party):

----------

Paula (09-03-20)

----------


## Suzi

Oh that's fab! What are you doing in that session?

----------

Paula (09-03-20)

----------


## Paula

My role will be:

So the main purpose is to prepare us to hear Gods word.  And so it means welcoming people, introducing songs (I have chosen Amazing Grace and Who has held the oceans in his hands) , asking someone to read the Bible passage (Genesis 42:1-24; 44:1-45:9), interviewing someone (Ill let you know who) and praying for the session and as we hear Gods word.

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's wonderful.  I'm still in awe at how far you have come since Bath. Not only are you able to actually attend the weekend, but you are taking part in leading. You are amazing. X

----------

Paula (10-03-20)

----------


## Paula

Thank you SM  :):

----------


## Suzi

That's really interesting! I'm so proud of you!

----------

Paula (10-03-20)

----------


## Paula

So, Jess has just landed in India with MIL after a very long flight ( actually 2 long flights lol) and is off shortly on their first tour. This may break her  :O:

----------


## Suzi

India? OO I'd missed that was happening! Break which one of them?  :(rofl):   :(rofl):   :(rofl): 

What's on your agenda today?

----------


## Paula

Lol Si said Jess sounded exhausted and mil has a dodgy tum already - so there may only be shadows coming home  :O: 

Manicure today, popping into town to pick up my contact lenses, preparing for Rock Choir (we often have 10 mins at the end singing Which is a choice of songs theyve done before - so Im trying to learn some of them) and hoovering my car ....

----------


## Suzi

Lol! Sounds like they're going to have a great time! 
Sounds like a full on day. Can you pace inbetween?

----------


## Paula

I left going to town to tomorrow, I ended up cross stitching rather than rock choir stuff  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Good for you!  :):

----------


## Paula

I know were nowhere near there yet but Im trying very hard not to worry. India has today stated that there will be no new tourist visas authorised. Jess already has a visa as shes there but Ive just sent this list of worries to Si:  What about the rush of people trying to leave? Will there be enough flights? Trumps banned so many flights, is the rest of the world going to follow suit? Will she get stuck there?

----------


## Strugglingmum

It's hard not to worry. It's only natural as a mum. Can only take each day as it comes. Sending hugs :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

One thing I'll say is that my excessively well off uncle loves India. He goes often - normally with his Harley and he's always said that it doesn't matter what trouble you get into the locals are more than friendly and will do whatever they can to help. 
It's impossible not to worry, but lovely if the most awkward thing happens and she gets stuck there for a while, she'll have a longer holiday.... Try to find that silver lining love...

----------


## Paula

Im back!!! It was an amazing weekend and Im part buzzing part exhausted lol

----------


## Suzi

I'm so glad you had a great time! Tell us EVERYTHING!

----------


## Paula

I will, but my brain hurts atm  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Are you pacing today?

----------


## Paula

No, working. Much to Sis disgust.

----------


## Paula

Bath follow up appointment is now going to be a telephone appt on Thursday. Theres a very high chance were going to cancel our short break now but weve agreed to decide tomorrow.

----------


## Suzi

Is Si not happy about you working?

How do you feel about cancelling?

----------


## Paula

No, hes not happy. Hes concerned about my asthma. Im going in today but well see after that. Im not happy about cancelling as we need the break (particularly Si) but it is what it is.

I just posted this on my fb page. Its well worth a watch (I wept buckets). I watched this yesterday while at the Womens Weekend.This 18 yo lad during his victims statement after an off duty police officer was convicted of murdering his brother, showed so much grace and forgiveness. Hes an inspiration!

https://youtu.be/oxOdgWGEDOE

----------


## Suzi

That's amazing..

----------


## Paula

So, given the PMs briefing this afternoon, Si has grounded me for the foreseeable. Hes also suggested that, if Katie has to work, she wont be able to visit. Hes cancelled our trip. And yes, I know I sound like a sulking child - thats cos I am sulking

----------


## Suzi

I'm not surprised he's grounded you.... I'm sorry it's come to that Paula... But I can understand where he's coming from...

----------


## Paula

I know, me too (if it applied to someone else  :O: ). Katies not very well and a colleague came in with symptoms this morning

----------


## Suzi

Oh no, so that means she's to follow the new 14 day isolation with her bf too.... Lots of box sets and food delivery?

----------


## Paula

Yep, though Si went over to drop food at her doorstep this evening

----------


## Suzi

How's she feeling in herself? Does this mean Si is working from home? 

How are you today love?

----------


## Paula

Shes got a sore throat but otherwise ok. Hopefully its not anything to worry about. Yes, Sis offices are closed til 10 April. Im ok, how about you? Are you self isolating?

----------


## Suzi

Glad she's OK and that Si's at home with you love. 

Me? My girls are still at school - Hazel has her first real GCSE next week - 2 of her class are out and under isolation, her teacher is and the only other staff members able to allow them to use the sewing machines "can't really help you as I know nothing about textiles" so who knows what's meant to happen... Year 12 were out of school today, tomorrow it's year 8 and 9 out. 
I'm still taking really sensible precautions - lots of hand washing and relying on Marc for shopping etc... I'm not going to Church, not going to see my Mum etc just staying at home as much as possible. 
Ben's uni have announced they are shutting for the year. Marc's going to get him on Thursday and then he just has lectures and exams online - so the exams now have to be "open book" because they can't make sure everyone is being totally honest... 

I'm going with the "it'll be what it'll be" thing atm...

----------

Strugglingmum (17-03-20)

----------


## Paula

Theres always a silver lining - you get to have your boy home  :):   I didnt realise how many people I have coming in and out of my house - all of which are unnecessary contact so Ive spent quite a bit of time talking to them all today to ask them to stay away. Still, Sis chuffed as itll save money - his silver lining  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Absolutely, am looking forward to having him home. 

Lol, does this mean that Si is taking on all the unnecessary contact duties? Cleaning, dog walking, shopping and anything else?  :):  

How are you today love? How's Katie? Any news from Jess?

----------


## Paula

Sis going to be busy lol, but Im not sure hes up to doing my hair and nails  :(giggle): 

Ive not heard from Katie yet this morning but yesterday evening she was ok - bored but ok. MIL was going to talk to the tour company yesterday afternoon but we havent heard from her yet (communication is not her strong point). Jess is having a whale of a time, though Taj Mahal was closed yesterday

----------


## Suzi

Glad Jess is having fun! Annoying about MIL though! 
So, no quick learning nails and hair for Si? You disappoint me....  :O:

----------


## Paula

:(giggle): 

Jess is really disappointed as the tiger safari was cancelled. We talked to her a little while ago and she was talking about flights - so shes obviously a little worried about it too. Si is going to email the tour company. I just want her home....

----------


## Suzi

Will she be able to come back in contact with you or will she have to self isolate away from you? I don't know how bad the situation is in India...

----------


## Paula

India is much, much better than us right now, thankfully

----------

Suzi (18-03-20)

----------


## Suzi

I'm really glad....

----------


## Paula

Well, Indias closing its borders and we dont know if Jess can get her flight out. Sis trying to get through to the airline but has been on hold for ages.

----------


## Paula

So, as at this evening, the airline says their flight will be leaving Sunday, but Si will need to confirm with the travel agent tomorrow

----------

Stella180 (19-03-20)

----------


## Suzi

Such a worrying time! How's Katie doing?

----------


## Paula

Katies fine, bored (shes been cleaning). Frustrated that she cant see me on Mothers Day..

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

It's so hard...

----------


## Paula

Great news this morning! Jesss flight has been changed and shell land c6pm tomorrow!!!

----------


## magie06

Thank goodness.

----------

Paula (20-03-20)

----------


## Paula

My feelings exactly!

----------


## Suzi

That's fantastic news! I'm so pleased and she's not even my daughter!  :):

----------

Paula (20-03-20)

----------


## magie06

I think because we're all such good friends, whenever one of us worries, then we all worry. Take care and give big hugs when you can.

----------

Paula (21-03-20),Suzi (21-03-20)

----------


## Suzi

I think you're right, it's very much like a family here. We feel for each other and the other people in their lives too... 

When's she landing love?

----------


## Paula

Midday in Oman and 6.30 at Heathrow  :):

----------


## Suzi

If you/they get stuck, you/they can come here if needed. We aren't far from Heathrow...

----------


## Paula

Thanks, though theyre getting a taxi so hopefully itll be ok

----------


## Suzi

Good... Just shout if there's a problem  :O:

----------


## Paula

Theyre in the U.K. and breathe ......

----------

Stella180 (21-03-20),Suzi (21-03-20)

----------


## Stella180

I bet that is a huge relief for you. Do you think you can refrain from hugging when she arrives home? I bet you can’t.

----------


## Suzi

On the way home?

----------


## Paula

Shes home!!

----------

Jaquaia (21-03-20),OldMike (22-03-20),Stella180 (21-03-20)

----------


## Stella180

Woohoo!!!

----------


## Suzi

Hooray! That's excellent news!

----------


## Paula

Watched church service on YouTube, had coffee morning with Housegroup and FaceTimed mum and Katie. This self isolation would be a lot harder without technology  :O: 

We treated ourselves for lunch and had takeaway from an amazing gastropub in a village near to us. All I can say is, yummmmmm

----------


## Stella180

Jealous of your lunch. I could murder a nice roast about now.

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like a great day. Technology is amazingly helpful!  :):

----------


## Paula

So, Ive woken up with a sore throat and pain in the middle of my back. Im hoping its nothing, obviously, but its been exactly a week since Katie had a sore throat .....

----------


## EJ

I hope you are ok Paula ? I watched the Eucharist from our Cathedral. There were also services from our Church too.

----------


## Paula

Im a bit upset, EJ. Katies out of isolation today and wanted to come and see me but Si has said its best if she keeps away indefinitely. Hes right, I know, but I just want to see my baby  :=(:

----------


## Stella180

I wouldn’t worry Paula. I had the same this time last week, sore throat followed by the sniffles and then in usual fashion hit my chest and a cough ensued. Still got a bit of a cough now but was feeling much better by mid week. I will admit for a moment I was a bit scared for obvious reasons but this time of year it’s normal to catch bugs and most of them are relatively harmless.

----------


## Paula

Its not that, really. Si doesnt want me to see anyone for the foreseeable future, including Katie

----------


## Jaquaia

What about her coming round and talking to you from 2 metres away? You on the doorstep or out of the window and her outside? Would that work?

----------


## Paula

Shes going to pop my Mothers Day present round and do exactly that. But I wont be able to talk to her properly, to give her a hug or just spend a few hours having a chat, like we normally do

----------


## Stella180

Ok I’m not a huge fun of this isolating business and there has to be a bit of give. I’m not convinced that hiding away from the world is the answer. Katie is family. If she is well and keeps a distance of 2 metres I don’t see that being a problem. Is Jess banned from spending time with you too? And Si? Everyone is winging it, including the government with these restrictions and they would admit they are being over precaution. If being apart from your family is detrimental to your wellbeing I’d say that is necessary exposure. I’ve thought about it with my cleaner, she’s off this week, but next week what do I do? I still need that support (providing she’s in a position to give it of course) so cancelling would make my life more difficult. I think there are risks attached to everything we do but we also need an element of normality and shutting ourselves away in a bubble is far from normal.

----------


## Paula

Its not about Katie. Katie probably still has to go to work, and what if weve given something to her which she passes on to one of her colleagues - who has an elderly parent who picks it up and dies? What if Katie picks something up at work and passes it to me, and I, with my multitude of health issues, dies?

Yes, Jess and Si live with me but they dont have a choice and Katie does. And Jess and Si are keeping away from me in the house as much as possible. My cleaner, dog walker, hairdresser and the girl who does my nails have all been cancelled.

There is no give, people are dying from this and we have to consider everyone else, not just ourselves

----------


## Stella180

It’s complete overkill. This isn’t about people dying, it’s about protecting the NHS. If everyone became ill all at once the health system couldn’t cope. If you are happy the way things are then fine. Stick with it. I’m just saying you can still perform social distancing within in your home to stay safe.

----------


## Suzi

You can but only if essential. People are dying. Social isolation only works if people do that. Isolate. If not then it's going to go on indefinitely. The sooner everyone realises that this is serious for so many people - it might not kill you, but you could pass it to someone who is in contact with those who it could kill.... It's about the NHS yes, but also about the wider population. 
My daughter and her year group haven't given up their GCSE's, their proms, their leavers assemblies, their friends or those who were meant to be sitting A levels for people to mess about with this. I've spent days hugging her while she sobs.... 
I was furious to read that yesterday the police were going into the Royal parks and beaches because there were so many people there. This is really serious. 

Paula, I'm gutted for you, and I can't imagine how much it hurts, but you know it's the best thing right now - and yes I know that doesn't make it any easier.....  :Panda:

----------

OldMike (23-03-20),Paula (23-03-20)

----------


## OldMike

Much as it pains you for Katie to stay away it is probably the sensible thing to do, she may have completed 14 days of self isolation but best be safe.

I'll just send you some virtual hugs  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Thank you, Mike.

A friend of mine, whose son has learning difficulties, put this up on fb today

 Please, please, please stay at home .....

NICE guidelines state that if Jacob were to fall ill with the virus, because he has a learning disability, he wouldnt be offered a ventilator if someone without a learning disability needed it. 

Just let that sink in for a moment....... 

Please please PLEASE stay at home unless you absolutely HAVE to leave your house. Keep the NHS running, flatten the curve, think about all the Jacob's ' you know and love ♥

Now if _that_ wasnt an argument for social distancing, I dont know what is

----------


## Suzi

What a horrible situation... Things like that make me so angry!

----------


## Stella180

That is absolutely disgusting! That’s like saying his life is less important because of his learning disability which is most definitely not true. NICE guidelines are t very nice at all  :@:

----------


## Paula

Im furious! I just have to hope the doctors ignore those guidelines

----------


## Suzi

There is a petition... 

https://www.change.org/p/boris-johns...66-en-gb%3Av12

----------

Stella180 (23-03-20)

----------


## Paula

I saw that, thank you

----------

Suzi (23-03-20)

----------


## Paula

My brothers ex wife is being shielded due to severe asthma, which means my brother cant see his kids for 3 months. He knows its the right thing but hes heartbroken  :(:

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Stella180

I know how he feels.

----------


## Suzi

That's so hard. Lots of facetime/video calls etc - it's not the same, but better than it would have been when we were younger..

----------


## Paula

Absolutely

----------


## Suzi

Looks like Jess got out of India at the right time!
How's she doing? How's Katie?

----------


## Paula

I know! We were just watching that! I am so relieved ....

Shes fine but not able to work atm, same with Katie (whove Ive convinced to start painting again  :): )

----------


## Suzi

OO starting her painting again would be cool - share some pics as and when? 
So, going to get Jess doing something music related?

----------


## Paula

Jess is catching up with her PlayStation  :O: 

Katie painted this (acrylics on canvas) in about 3 hours this afternoon


cd jpg

----------


## Stella180

Wowzers! I’ll be totally honest here and say that I look at a blank canvas and all I see is a blank canvas. I wish I has an artistic mind/eye. That is gorgeous.

----------


## Paula

Im totally with you there! I am completely unable to transfer images from my mind onto canvas  :O: . Ive got three of her canvases, 2 or which were her GCSE art coursework, hanging up in my house.

----------


## Stella180

Is she willing to sell her artwork? I’d buy it.

----------


## Paula

She hasnt painted for 6 years - that was her first one since her exams. But I have suggested she use the lockdown to build up a portfolio so well see

----------


## Suzi

That's fab! 
I'm in total awe of anyone who can draw/paint, because I cant! Fern's my artistic one. Her art blows me away! It annoys her hugely, but I love watching her create... 

How are you today lovely?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, a bit stir crazy but arent we all.... missing Katie like mad

----------


## OldMike

> I’m ok, a bit stir crazy but aren’t we all.... missing Katie like mad


I think we are all going stir crazy Paula, it's just one foot in front of the other at the moment  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Is it only me who isn't going stir crazy at being at home?  :):  

Are you skyping her everyday?

----------


## Paula

> Is it only me who isn't going stir crazy at being at home?  
> 
> Are you skyping her everyday?


Youre not?? Im really missing swimming - whos have thought?  :O:  but at least yoga is something I can do at home

Yes, were FaceTiming, and I am with mum too. 20 years ago it would be even harder so Im trying to count my blessings.

----------


## Suzi

No I'm not.... I'm quite happy atm with my home and garden - I'm watching our little wrigglies (tadpoles) hatch, wriggle and grow. I've got movies and boxsets to watch, crochet and cooking and books to read and most of my friends live in my computer anyway... Marc's gone out shopping this morning and it's all fine  :O:   I'm missing Church though  :(:  But that's like my only social thing I do anyway - since I hurt my knee/ other medical issues I've not been able to go swimming etc anyway so already had distanced myself... 

I agree, without the tech things'd be a hell of a lot different...

----------


## Paula

This made me laugh, a lot, today  :(rofl): 

https://www.facebook.com/7211436203/...8332786611204/

----------


## Suzi

I LOVE Innocent!  :):

----------


## Paula

https://www.facebook.com/7211436203/...8336725841204/

----------

Suzi (26-03-20)

----------


## Stella180

Deja vu

----------


## Paula

Different day

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):   :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Morning! 2 bits of good news this morning. 

1. Ive lost 8lb in 3.5 weeks!
2. Ive got a Sainsburys delivery booked for Monday  :(party): 

I think we all know which one is my favourite  :O:

----------

Stella180 (28-03-20)

----------


## Stella180

In these times a Sainsbury’s delivery is like gold dust lol

----------


## Suzi

Well done! 

How did you get that Sainsbury's delivery? Who did you bribe?

----------


## Stella180

Of course she's lost weight. She couldn't get any food delivered til Monday  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

> How did you get that Sainsbury's delivery? Who did you bribe?


I dont know. I got through on Monday and they said I was on the priority list because of my asthma, and I got a delivery on Wednesday. Then I couldnt get a slot until my SIL told me this morning there were slots for m9 day and I grabbed one. Confused as to whether Ive got priority or not!

----------


## Suzi

Go you!  :):  

Hoe are you feeling love?

----------


## Paula

Fed up, irritable. Same as everyone I suspect

----------


## Stella180

come join in the music battle with me

----------


## Suzi

Why are you fed up and irritable?

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hoping today is better for you. X :(bear):

----------


## Paula

> Why are you fed up and irritable?


Same reasons everyone is, too much time stuck indoors, not having enough space. Ill be fine ...

----------


## Suzi

You're sounding really flat... Are there things that you can do to help lift you? Maybe some designated time in your cross stitch room? Just you, some music and cross stitch? With a really big DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door? Can you go out to the garden at all? Just for a walk around?

----------


## Paula

Ive chucked Si out of that room for the day - Ive watched the church service and had a zoom chat with Housegroup this morning. And this afternoon is going to be cross stitch. I honestly thought that Id put in all the training for a lockdown over the last few years, but obviously not. A big part of my struggle is having got into swimming over the past few months, not being able to go is tough. An even bigger part is not being able to see Katie. Thats really upsetting me  :(:

----------


## Angie

Can you and Katie video chat ? 
You can go out for an hour a day aswell, keep at least 2 metres distance from others that are out and dont meet in crowds

----------


## Suzi

How much longer is it until you can see her? I assume you're skyping etc?

----------


## EJ

I miss swimming as well. I really feel for you.

----------


## OldMike

Video chat, Facetime or Whatsapp are good ways to keep in touch.

----------


## Paula

We FaceTime every day. It helps but its not the same. And I normally go with Si and Polo for a walk - but only about 15 mi utes as Polo and I cant cope with longer at the moment.

And Im not feeling well - Ive got a wee bit of a cough but mainly my chest and across the middle of my back is hurting. Im hoping its just asthma playing up

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  Sounds like you are really are struggling. Have you told Si exactly how you are feeling?

----------


## Paula

He knows .....

----------


## Suzi

Oh... You still sound really down... Will you keep an eye on that? I'm worried about you Princess Sparkles...

----------


## Paula

Well, it doesnt help my mood that I had an asthma attack last night - I was in so much pain around my chest and back. Im still suffering a bit, I went out for a walk with Si and had to take the shortcut home cos I was struggling to breathe. I havent had an asthma attack like that in years, I can only put it down to stress.....

Ill be ok, at least Ive got people around me  :O:

----------


## OldMike

Paula hope you soon get over the asthma attack  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Stella180

Can be blooming scary. Take it easy mate and keep your inhalers close at hand

----------


## Suzi

Oh wow! Hunni, please tell me you've been resting today love....

----------


## Paula

Can any of us do anything other than rest? (Although I did do some yoga this morning, it helps me breathe properly)

----------


## Suzi

OK the yoga I'll allow....

----------


## OldMike

Yoga is good both for the body and mind good for you Princess just don't overdo it  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

How are you lovely?

----------


## Paula

Almost back to normal, ta  :):

----------

OldMike (31-03-20)

----------


## Suzi

Normal? What kind of normal?  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Can breathe without pain, which is a normal Im ok with  :O:

----------


## Suzi

That's a pretty good normal!  :(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Today is my first day of study  :(party): . And Ive discovered Im definitely out of practice .....

----------


## OldMike

As long as you're enjoying studying and learnin' stuff that's the main thing  :):

----------


## Stella180

What ya studying?

----------


## Suzi

But are you enjoying it so far?

----------


## Strugglingmum

well done you. Really really pleased for you huni

----------

Paula (01-04-20)

----------


## Paula

Im studying a Certificate in Theology. I did level 1 (6 units) a few years ago and now theyre doing online courses, Im able to continue with level 2. The first unit focuses on the book of the Acts of the Apostles

Edit. Suzi, today has been about finding my way around the site and reading Acts  :O:

----------

Strugglingmum (02-04-20),Suzi (02-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

Oh I remember you doing the Level 1. Glad you can continue with it.

----------


## Suzi

That sounds really interesting... 

How are you doing today?

----------


## Paula

Struggling. Im doing everything I should - getting showered and dressed, doing my bible study, mindfulness, yoga and walks but everything feels like a massive effort

----------


## Suzi

Is that a physical or mental issue?

----------


## Paula

Mental. But, as Si reminded me, its not surprising and many of us are struggling too - inc him

----------

Suzi (02-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

You have inspired me Paula.
 I found a YouTube beginner yoga video which I have done a few days now. I found I like yoga more than I thought I would. It is actually relaxing me more than meditation or mindfulness alone. The girl is lovely and talks about just being in the moment. It is very very basic but i think i will look for a beginner yoga class when this is all over to try It out.  Thank you lovely lady.  :(bear):

----------

Paula (02-04-20),Suzi (02-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

I think Si's right. We're all struggling a bit. It's the not being able to do the things we want/are used to/would like to... So many coping strategies involve being outside, getting some exercise, going for a walk, talking to others and being online or on the phone isn't the same, no matter how much we'd like it to be.... All we can do is take each day one at a time and go from there....

----------

Strugglingmum (02-04-20)

----------


## OldMike

We are all struggling at the moment it is just a day at a time.

----------



----------


## Paula

> You have inspired me Paula.
>  I found a YouTube beginner yoga video which I have done a few days now. I found I like yoga more than I thought I would. It is actually relaxing me more than meditation or mindfulness alone. The girl is lovely and talks about just being in the moment. It is very very basic but i think i will look for a beginner yoga class when this is all over to try It out.  Thank you lovely lady.


Thats so lovely to hear!

----------


## Suzi

How are you feeling today love?

----------


## Paula

> How are you feeling today love?


I think my conversation with Si just now says it all. Yesterday, I wasnt dressed when he took Polo out so he went without me. So I complained that I hadnt had a walk - so Si asked why I didnt go out on my own. Given how much Ive been doing on my own recently, hes right. Ive been worried about leaving the house on my own

----------


## Suzi

Is that due to your asthma? What about going for a little walk - end of the road and back or something then tomorrow go a little further and build back up with your physical ability and your confidence?

----------


## Paula

No, its anxiety. Im ok walking with Si but not on my own. Still, Ive been out with Si again today - its better than not going at all

----------

Strugglingmum (03-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

What is it about going out on your own that you worry about?

----------


## Paula

I dont know - its normally being surrounded by people but thats not a factor. I think my mood is low so my anxiety is higher - which always happens

----------


## Suzi

You can work on the anxiety, you know that... How much longer until you can see Katie?

----------


## Paula

10 weeks?

----------


## Stella180

That sucks!

----------


## Suzi

You on the full 3 months isolation?  I sympathise.  :Panda:  :(bear):

----------


## Angie

:Panda:

----------


## Paula

> You on the full 3 months isolation?  I sympathise.


Not officially, but because of my general health plus the danger of lithium toxicity if I get very ill, Si is insisting on us being very careful. And so is Katie so she wont come over either. Im not happy .....

Sitricked me tonight  :O: . He was feeling sorry for me with my diet so he made me a double dose of my weightwatchers sweet and sour chicken dinner. I was so hungry I scoffed the lot and didnt even realise - he told me if hed asked me, Id have said no lol

----------

OldMike (07-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

Oh that sounds like a dirty trick, I’m sure you hate him for feeding you an extra portion. NOT!

----------


## Paula

> Oh that sounds like a dirty trick, Im sure you hate him for feeding you an extra portion. NOT!


Im full for the first time in a month!

----------

Stella180 (03-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

Lol! Well played Si!  :):

----------


## Stella180

And with a happy belly I’m sure you feel better in yourself

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Paula

So, the past few days have been increasingly worrying for us re Polo. Hes had a bit of a lump on his shoulder for a while but this has suddenly got bigger. Hes limping very heavily on that leg, hes refusing to go upstairs and hes sleeping excessively, even for a greyhound. Weve doubled his tramadol from 300mg to 600mg a day but hes not going for a walk. I think were all beginning to wonder if its cancer but, at his age, theres no point in getting a biopsy and our vets are having a no human policy - which means hed have to go into the surgery without us, and that would be hugely stressful for him ......

----------


## Angie

Oh hunni am sorry Polo is in pain, would it be worth ringing the vets and seeing what they say?

----------


## Jaquaia

Sorry to hear hunni. Would it be worth trying to have a telephone consult at least?

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni, I'm sorry Polo is poorly....

----------


## Stella180

Oh no, poor Polo. Such a crappy time for him to be poorly with this damned virus making life so difficult, not that there is ever a good time to be poorly. What are you going to do?

----------


## Paula

Weve talked about it again. Were going to see whether we can get his pain under control in the next couple of days and go from there. If we speak to the vet theyre going to want to see him and were not sure if thats the best option for him right now. He hates the vets so very much and to go in without us would just raise his stress levels massively.  But it maybe we have no choice

----------


## Angie

Can you speak to the vet about it stressing him and ask if they can give you a mask and a pair of gloves to go in with him ?

----------


## OldMike

:=(:  I don't know what to say so I'll just leave these for you and Polo  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Is there any way that he can be given something to help calm him down before he goes in? I know we've given Moiya stuff before when there were huge amounts of fireworks....

----------


## Paula

> Can you speak to the vet about it stressing him and ask if they can give you a mask and a pair of gloves to go in with him ?


No, theres a no exceptions policy. 




> Is there any way that he can be given something to help calm him down before he goes in? I know we've given Moiya stuff before when there were huge amounts of fireworks....


Things like that have never worked for him - hes a big wuss


Ok, so this is the lump

----------


## Stella180

Oh wow! That is big. I was wondering if it was something like bursitis? That would be incredibly painful for him. Judging by the location it probably isn’t that. Don’t know until it’s checked out.

----------


## Paula

Weve decided to email photos to the vet tomorrow and take it from there

----------

OldMike (08-04-20),Stella180 (07-04-20)

----------


## Angie

Sounds like a good idea hunni,

----------


## Suzi

That's a lot bigger than I was expecting it to be... I agree, send it to the vet and see what they say. They know his history too so they should be able to help...

----------


## Paula

Spoke to the vet tonight. she thinks its likely Polos got a nerve based tumour, which is why its not responding to pain relief. Were going to try increasing his gabapentin for a few days but hell have to get significantly better as his quality of life is poor. Hes a fighter but I think this is his last battle ....

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Stella180

Oh no! I know he’s no spring chicken but even so he is a beloved family member and you don’t want him to suffer but at the same time you don’t wanna lose him either. I don’t envy your position right now but know that I will be thinking of you.

----------


## Strugglingmum

So sorry Paula.   :Panda:

----------


## Angie

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh lovely, I'm so, so, so sorry hunni... If there's anything I can do...

----------


## Paula

> Oh lovely, I'm so, so, so sorry hunni... If there's anything I can do...


I know. 

Katies in pieces as she hasnt been able to see him. Were trying to sort something out for the weekend

----------


## Angie

Is it possible you could make him comfy in the garden and while inside let Katie go in the garden with him for a while so she can see him and spend that bit of time?

----------


## OldMike

:=(:   :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

> Is it possible you could make him comfy in the garden and while inside let Katie go in the garden with him for a while so she can see him and spend that bit of time?


Yeah, thats the plan. Weve got a side gate so she doesnt have to go through the house

----------

Angie (09-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

Such a horrible situation for all involved... 

How are you all doing?

----------


## Paula

Were ok, Si gave Polo his duvet last night and hes giving him lots of human food. At this stage were not focusing on his kidneys  :O: . We just need to get through to Tuesday .....

----------


## EJ

:Panda: Ive just read this Paula. Im very sorry. Sending hugs

----------


## Angie

> Yeah, thats the plan. Weve got a side gate so she doesnt have to go through the house


You at least get to see Katie and as long as you keep your 6 foot distance can talk face to face as such, just wish it was under different circumstances hunni  xx

----------


## Paula

> Ive just read this Paula. Im very sorry. Sending hugs


Thank you EJ




> You at least get to see Katie and as long as you keep your 6 foot distance can talk face to face as such, just wish it was under different circumstances hunni  xx


Me too, thanks x

----------


## Mira

:Panda:

----------

Paula (09-04-20)

----------


## magie06

Thinking of you.

----------


## Suzi

How's he doing? Have you guys made it out into the garden to sit in the sun (obv with your parasol) for a bit?

----------


## Allalone

Sending love and hugs. :Panda:

----------


## Paula

> How's he doing? Have you guys made it out into the garden to sit in the sun (obv with your parasol) for a bit?


The meds are zonking him out which means hes not in as much pain but is def not a good quality of life. He smells of ill dog itms. Weve just been talking and we know hes telling us its his time......

Yeah, I sat and read in the garden

----------


## Stella180

:=(:  when it Katie coming over?

----------


## Suzi

> The meds are zonking him out which means hes not in as much pain but is def not a good quality of life. He smells of ill dog itms. Weve just been talking and we know hes telling us its his time......
> 
> Yeah, I sat and read in the garden


I'm so, so, so, so sorry love. I wish that there was some magic wand to make him better and to take your pain away. I know how hard it was for us with Casey, but they do know and they do tell you when it's the right time...  Is Katie coming over soon? 

I'm glad you got out and read in the garden.

----------


## Paula

Katies coming over tomorrow afternoon

----------

Stella180 (09-04-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

I'm so sorry but I know he's had a wonderful life with you and I know you will carry on doing the best you can for him. Thinking of you all  :Panda:

----------

Paula (09-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

I can't agree strongly enough with Jaq...

----------

Paula (09-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  :Panda:

----------

Paula (09-04-20)

----------


## Angie

:Panda:  I'm so so sorry sweetie  :Panda:

----------

Paula (10-04-20)

----------


## Angie

Sweetheart how are you all doing today and Polo?

----------


## Paula

Plodding along. Hes ok, just sleeping a lot

----------


## Angie

:Panda:  Thats probably the best thing he can do at the moment, please look after you sweetie aswell x

----------


## Suzi

Thinking of you all today lovely...

----------


## Paula

Trying to feel less miserable

----------


## Paula

Theyre new, btw, I dont normally have my feet up on the sofa in shoes  :O:

----------


## Stella180

Heels!? They are really pretty but are you safe in those?

----------


## Angie

Those are really really pretty

----------


## Suzi

Those are soooo pretty. I almost bought myself some pretty heels earlier, but only to sit on the sofa with as I know I can't wear heels....

----------


## Jaquaia

They're gorgeous!!!

----------


## Paula

> Heels!? They are really pretty but are you safe in those?


No. But theyre pretty  :O: 




> Those are soooo pretty. I almost bought myself some pretty heels earlier, but only to sit on the sofa with as I know I can't wear heels....


Almost? What is this almost??

----------


## Stella180

Suzi face plants in bare feet, she'd be stuffed in heels lol

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Ok, so I didnt want to keep talking about how Polo is, but here I am. Katie saw him today and couldnt believe how much hed gone downhill in just 3 weeks. Si had to carry him out to the garden this morning to go to the toilet and he tried to get up from the sofa this afternoon, and fell off. He just laid in a heap on the floor. Im heartbroken

----------


## Stella180

Awwwww poor boy  :=(:   :=(:   :=(: 

That doesn’t sound good at all. Can you give your handsome boy extra cuddles from me.

----------

Paula (10-04-20)

----------


## Allalone

Sending hugs to you all. :Panda:

----------

Paula (10-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

it's so damn hard Paula. I'm so sorry for you all. I've been there and it's horrible. Sending hugs :Panda:

----------

Paula (11-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's the point that we knew beyond any doubt that it was time for Casey... I'm so sorry lovely... You are all in my thoughts.

----------


## Paula

Hes completely zonked with all the meds. So hes comfortable hopefully til Tuesday.

----------


## Suzi

Aww poor thing. It's so horrible when that's how it is...

----------


## Angie

Awww sweetheart huge huge hugs for you all and for Polo xx

----------


## Paula

Todays been a really, really tough day. Polos going downhill really fast, he is struggling to stand up, Sis having to lift him up onto and off the sofa, his fur is a mess and hes not eating. Theres been a lot of tears today, and not just from me .....

We talked about taking him to the emergency vets tomorrow but thats a half hour drive away and Si thinks that as long as we can keep on top of the pain, we should wait for our own vets on Tuesday.

----------


## Jaquaia

So sorry. Thinking of you  :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Stella180

I think you are doing the right thing. So long as hes not it any pain just take things as they come. 

How are you holding up? I know that seems like a stupid question but you need to look after yourself as well as your precious pup.

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni, I'm sorry he's so poorly...

----------


## Allalone

Thinking of you.  :Panda:

----------


## OldMike

When there are no words all I can do is send you and your family my love  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

> How are you holding up? I know that seems like a stupid question but you need to look after yourself as well as your precious pup.


Trying to remain as calm as possible but not really succeeding.

----------


## Suzi

In my thoughts love, all of you x

----------


## Angie

:(bear):  for all of you sweetie, am thinking of you xx

----------


## Strugglingmum

A real tough path you are all on right now. Xx :(bear):

----------


## Paula

Polo passed this morning.  :=(:  :=(:  :=(: 

But, to the last, even though he refused water and food, he will still drinking tea - that boy loved his tea .....

----------


## Allalone

Sorry to hear that Paula.

 :Panda:

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

He’s playing with Luna over the rainbow bridge now. As heartbreaking as it is at least his suffering is over.

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## Angie

Am so sorry sweetie xx

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

So sorry. You gave him the best possible life and he left knowing he was loved  :Panda:

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

I love that he was still drinking tea! That's such a wonderful thing to hold on to. I'm so sorry though, I know how much he meant to you all and how much he was loved by you all. He'll be having fun with Luna and watching and waiting for when you are all reunited....  :Panda:  :(bear):  :Panda:  :(bear):

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## EJ

So sorry to hear about Polo. He gave you such joy in your family. He was one of the family and will be missed. Xx

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sending hugs. It's really tough to lose a beloved pet but he was with you all and loved to the end. Hold on to the good memories.  Xx

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## OldMike

Despite the pain you feel today you'll have fond memories of the years Polo was part of your life  :=(:   :(bear):   :Panda:

----------

Paula (14-04-20)

----------


## Paula

Thank you everyone. I think he shows how lovely he was - my mum was sobbing over FaceTime, and he bit her years ago.......(and she has always blamed herself for that moment)

We werent allowed to be in the same room as the vet so, once theyd set up the iv, to be with him at the end we had to give him the drug. Tough.

----------


## Stella180

Oh that is a horrible situation to be in. I dunno if I could do that. I mean of course it’s the right thing to do by him to end his suffering but to carry it out yourself has to be incredibly hard.

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm so so proud of you for being able to be with him and taking on a horrible role to be able to be with him till the end. You are amazing and so strong..... even if you don't feel that way right now

----------


## Suzi

You showed exactly how much you loved him to be able to end his suffering and allow him to run free... I'm so proud of you and I'm sending so much love for you xxx

----------


## Angie

Much love from me to you all sweetie, that was such a selfless thing to do and you are so strong to be able to. xxx

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing lovely?

----------


## Paula

Im not doing great tbh. None of us are. Weve lost pets before but this is very different - Polo was a huge personality and his passing has left a massive hole in our lives. I know not everyone will get it, especially in current times, but were grieving hard. And not being able to have a normal life is compounding that.

----------


## Angie

Sweetheart it is a hard time for all of you and it will take time xx

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Stella180

I totally get it. You’ve lost a family member and that is always going to hurt. Anyone who has ever loved a pet will understand. Give yourself a chance to grieve.

----------


## Jaquaia

Couldn't agree with Angie and Stella more. He was family, not just a pet. Grieve however you need to grieve lovely  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

I just a call from a friend to say how sorry she was, and bawled my eyes out

----------


## Angie

Sweetheart better out than in as the saying goes, if you need to cry then cry if you need to shout and scream then shout and scream, your going though so many emotions right now it is hard.

----------


## Jaquaia

^^^wss

----------


## Suzi

Everyone else is right, Polo was family. You have to allow yourself to grieve for him. Be kind to you.

----------

Angie (16-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  :Panda: 
Just leaving some love here for you. X

----------


## Paula

You all make me feel so loved. Thank you, my DWD family  :):

----------


## Allalone

You would do exactly the same for us.

 :Panda:

----------

Paula (18-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

> You all make me feel so loved. Thank you, my DWD family


You ARE loved, narna! 

How are you doing? How's everyone else coping?

----------


## Angie

As Suzi said you are loved.

----------


## Jaquaia

Yep! Definitely loved! And stubborn. But mainly loved

----------


## Stella180

Of course you are loved. You are Princess freakin’ Sparkles! What’s not to love?

----------


## Paula

> You ARE loved, narna! 
> 
> How are you doing? How's everyone else coping?


Im not doing great. Very low and Si is struggling to bring me out of it, bless him.  Hes still tearful, Jess is hiding. Katies ok, but then shes not here so doesnt keep getting reminders wherever she turns




> Yep! Definitely loved! And stubborn. But mainly loved


What some call stubborn, I like to think as determined  :O: .




> As Suzi said you are loved.


Thank you, hunni




> Of course you are loved. You are Princess freakin Sparkles! Whats not to love?


 :Kiss:

----------


## Suzi

Hunni I know it's so painful. Are you able to do anything to distract?

----------


## Paula

Si took me out for a walk - he insisted  :O: . Ive been cross stitching too today and I had a long chat with Katie. I should be getting back to study but my brain is just mush atm

----------


## Jaquaia

Take your time. It will just stress you more if you push it  :Panda:

----------


## Stella180

Understandable. Did you enjoy some time out of the house with the hubster?

----------


## Suzi

You're doing really well lovely. Hour by hour.... Glad you got out of the house lovely.

----------


## Paula

> Understandable. Did you enjoy some time out of the house with the hubster?


Yes, I did  :):

----------


## Suzi

Glad you enjoyed it! Are you planning another outing today?

----------


## Paula

Im plannning on reading in the back garden. Does that count? :O:

----------


## Stella180

Sound like the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon

----------

Paula (19-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

It does indeed - sounds like perfect self care to me.

----------


## OldMike

Reading in the back garden certainly counts  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

What are you reading?

----------


## Paula

Ive just borrowed the 7 books in the Dragonwalker series. With my Amazon Prime account I can use their Kindle Unlimited which means I can borrow up to 10 kindle books at a time. So I use it to borrow books Id never heard of. Ive just started the first book but so good so far  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

I've not used that feature yet but then I have no idea where my kindle is!

----------


## Suzi

OO I've not used that either! Good reminder!

----------


## Angie

I use kindle on my mobile phone

----------

Stella180 (20-04-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

I have it on my phone but I'm not keen on reading on it.

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing lovely?

----------


## Paula

Well, I was struggling as Ive had stomach ache all day buuuuuuut, Ive had an email this evening and we _might_ be fostering a greyhound  :):

----------

Stella180 (20-04-20)

----------


## EJ

Sounds perfect

----------


## Suzi

Oh that's brilliant news for the greyhound! Why the "might"?

----------


## Paula

I think its just our way of protecting our hearts in case they dont want us

----------


## Suzi

Pfft, "they?" More than one? Sweetheart they'd be lucky to have you and they'll be spoilt rotten and treated like royalty! 

How are you feeling today lovely?

----------


## Paula

Lol, no, just one - they referred to the charity  :O: 

Im ok, cramps have gone. I did cry myself to sleep last night though  :(:

----------


## Suzi

Oh I hate that! Are you OK today?

----------


## Stella180

Someone much wiser that me once told me that tears are toxic and we need to shed them, if we don’t and we hold them in they will poison our soul.

----------


## Suzi

That's very wise....

----------


## Paula

Im ok, helped just now with the news we are fostering Quackers from Friday  :): 

https://www.greyhoundlifeline.co.uk/...new-greyhound/

----------

OldMike (22-04-20)

----------


## Allalone

That’s great news!
Quackers, what a name for such a handsome boy!! He sounds like a bit of a character too.

----------


## Paula

Doesnt he just  :):

----------


## Suzi

Quackers? He sounds playful and a proper character full of life and cheekiness!  :):

----------


## Stella180

I knew it!!! He looks like a crazy pup! Should fit in well with you lot  :O:

----------


## Paula

Cheek!

Not so sure about his name though ....

----------


## Stella180

I didn’t mean to like that, just that you have experience with nutty puppies. The name is a bit weird but he does look a very handsome, muscular and energetic young pup.

----------


## Allalone

Can you change it?

----------


## Paula

> Can you change it?


Not while were fostering. If we were to adopt we can do what we like - Lunas Name was originally Lulu

----------


## Suzi

He looks like a Quackers to me  :O:  So are you all ready for him? When does he arrive?

----------


## Stella180

He’s a greyhound. They’re all quackers lol

----------


## Suzi

So true!  :):

----------


## Paula

> He looks like a Quackers to me  So are you all ready for him? When does he arrive?


Friday. Ive just been ordering toys, treats etc  :): 




> Hes a greyhound. Theyre all quackers lol


So true  :O: 


Oooo, just to add - Ive lost 1 whole stone since 3 March  :(party):

----------

Stella180 (22-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

What are you doing to lose weight? 

YAY for toys etc!!

----------


## Stella180

Congrats on the weight loss! That’s brilliant! These ready meals are doing the job.

----------

Paula (22-04-20)

----------


## Paula

> What are you doing to lose weight? !


Weightwatchers

----------


## EJ

Well done on the weight loss Paula. Are you doing WW ? It sounds really exciting getting another greyhound. Im really proud of you soon after Polo. Xx Just re read my post. I did WW years again with great success.

----------


## Suzi

> Weightwatchers


How easy are you finding it? Are you doing it online or going to classes?

----------


## Paula

> Well done on the weight loss Paula. Are you doing WW ? It sounds really exciting getting another greyhound. Im really proud of you soon after Polo. Xx Just re read my post. I did WW years again with great success.


Yes, Im doing WW.  I had to lose the weight due to health issues so needed structure - so far so good  :): 




> How easy are you finding it? Are you doing it online or going to classes?


I signed up for online and face to face but then we had lockdown! So Ive been doing it online - Ive found it easy

----------

Suzi (22-04-20)

----------


## OldMike

Quackers is a quacking name, won't he get confused if you change his name  :O:

----------


## Paula

Suzi, just to clarify, I find it easy because a lot of the foods that are zero points are ones I love anyway - fruit, veg, Greek yoghurt etc

----------

Suzi (22-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Congratulations on the weight loss. That's fab progress. So pleased about Quackers. He has definitely fallen on his paws with you guys.

----------

Paula (22-04-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

That's an awesome weight loss! Well done you!

----------

Paula (22-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing love? Happy Quackers Eve!

----------


## Paula

A little excited, a little sad. Does that make sense? Si has put his foot down and said hell be going on his own to pick Quackers up - why on earth did I marry someone so sensible?  :@: . Ive bought Quackers some toys - its going to be a bit odd, its years since Luna and Polo wanted to play with toys

Ive been doing housework today but shall go for a walk this afternoon and either do some study or cross stitch. Tonight is our first Rock Choir virtual live session - not sure how thats going to work with 100 plus people lol

----------


## EJ

I hope it goes well with Quackers Xx

----------


## Suzi

How did it go with the walk and the stitching? 
Good luck with the rock choir! 

And yes, part happy, part sad is really understandable. Just remember he can never replace Luna or Polo - he can't even fill the holes left by them, but he'll make his own space (definitely by the sound of him!) and that's a brilliant thing..

----------

Stella180 (23-04-20)

----------


## Paula

Walk was nice and I did some stitching but lost a bit of motivation.

----------


## Suzi

Is that mood wise or project just not working for you right now?

----------


## Paula

Ive had a nagging headache all day, which doesnt help....

----------


## Suzi

Nope.... Hope you get some sleep which helps clear your head and lift your spirits a bit love. What time is Si collecting your house guest?

----------


## Paula

11am. Very excited  :O:

----------


## Stella180

It’s gonna be great having a new four legged friend around.

----------


## Suzi

OOOOOOOOOOO It's nearly Quackers time!

----------


## Paula

Hes on his way home!!

----------

Stella180 (24-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

Have fun with your new friend.

----------


## Paula

He is HUGE and absolutely gorgeous! Playful, fun, so nosy  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

Gorgeous!

----------


## Stella180

He’s a handsome fella for sure. Give his some cuddles from me.

----------


## Paula

Hes besotted with Si already

----------


## Stella180

Ahhhh, he’s a man’s dog.

----------


## Suzi

Awww has he had a thorough investigation of his new home? What does Jess think?

----------


## EJ

He looks as if he has his paws under the table already x

----------


## Paula

Hes sniffed everywhere and more, made friends with Jess and...... hes big  :O: 


kourtney kardashian 3rd baby name

----------


## Suzi

Aww! Rofl, Crash is a monster, so he doesn't look that big to me! lol 
However he looks really intelligent and interested in everything!

----------


## Stella180

Oh those shoulders! Was he a racer?

----------


## Paula

We think so but we havent got his racing name and are having trouble reading his tattoos - so havent been able to look up his data. However, he is young to be retired so possibly not

Hes really, really interested in everything!

----------


## Stella180

That’s a good thing, he’s getting to know his new surroundings. He’ll settle down once everything becomes more familiar.

----------


## Strugglingmum

He is handsome Paula. A bit of a livewire.... just what you all need.

----------


## Suzi

How's he doing? Is he snuggled on your sofa yet?

----------


## Paula

Hes doing really well, seems to be relaxing  :): . Hes climbed on the sofa to look out of the window but hasnt actually tried to curl up on it.

My Jess, my completely unwilling to show any emotion Jess, told Si oh dad, I really love him!

----------

Stella180 (24-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

YAY! There's something about teenagers and rescue dogs! 
How was his first night?

----------


## Paula

He slept right through the night! (And has discovered the sofas  :O: )

----------

Stella180 (25-04-20),Suzi (25-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

So long as he leaves room for you on the sofa. Is he a cuddly pup? Or more into personal space?

----------


## Paula

Hes a very cuddly pup, and a leaner which, given the bulk of him, is sometimes problematic  :O:

----------


## Stella180

I wanna come meet him

----------

Paula (25-04-20)

----------


## Suzi

Awww Crash is like that too! It's lovely. It's really special to be given a proper hug by a pupper...

----------

Paula (25-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

I love learners. Our Katie is.... but not as cuddly

----------


## Strugglingmum

^^^^ sorry that should say leaners.... darn autocorrect thinks it's so smart!!

----------

Paula (25-04-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

But autocorrect can be hilarious! J once told me that we'll cross that fridge when we get to it, still makes me giggle now  :Panda:

----------

Stella180 (25-04-20)

----------


## Paula

*drum roll* weve decided (subject to the kennels agreeing) to adopt Quackers (but will change his name)  :(party): . I know, no surprises  :O:

----------

OldMike (26-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

Hahaha, 24hrs for you to make that decision? What took you so long??? I saw this coming a mile off lol

----------


## Strugglingmum

> *drum roll* we’ve decided (subject to the kennel’s agreeing) to adopt Quackers (but will change his name) . I know, no surprises


Dont know how we will cope with the shock!! :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

Lol... You failed fosterer you.... 

I'm so pleased for him, he's going to be treated like royalty for the rest of his life... He couldn't be more lucky.

----------


## Jaquaia

*faints in shock*

----------


## Paula

Im feeling mocked!

----------


## Suzi

Mocked? No, we'd only ever mock you if you had stated you weren't going to make any decisions about him staying immediately...... Oh wait...... Let the mocking continue...

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

Any news on a new name?

----------


## Paula

Unofficially, Jax is odds on favourite

----------


## Stella180

I like Jax.

----------


## OldMike

> Unofficially, Jax is odds on favourite


I'd stick with the original Quackers cos I'm quackers too  :(rofl):

----------


## Stella180

I but you only wanna keep him so you can change his name lol

----------


## Suzi

Quackersjax...... Cracker jack..... get it? OK I'll get my coat.....

----------


## Paula

Well, Jess came up with the name and Im pretty certain she hasnt seen Cracker Jack  :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):   :(rofl):   :(rofl):

----------


## Stella180

That takes me back. I used to love Crackerjack.

----------


## Suzi

Lol.. Jax sounds like a cool name for him... Does he drink tea?

----------


## Paula

> . Does he drink tea?


No and he is not getting the opportunity to try!  Weve had the ok from the kennels - so hes officially ours  :(party):

----------

Stella180 (26-04-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm really pleased for you all Paula. That's great news. X

----------

Paula (26-04-20)

----------


## Stella180

Woohoo! So will you be “fostering” any more dogs?

----------

Paula (26-04-20)

----------


## Paula

> Woohoo! So will you be fostering any more dogs?


No, definitely not!

----------


## Suzi

Congratulations! Welcome to the family Jax!

----------

Paula (26-04-20)

----------


## OldMike

Surely Jax will need a buddy I suggest a greyhound called Jilz will fit the bill  :):

----------


## Stella180

They would need to walk them up a hill.

----------


## Suzi

I think Jax is going to be the most spoilt greyhound in the world ever. He's certainly one of the luckiest ones!

----------

Strugglingmum (27-04-20)

----------


## Paula

Jax has found his way upstairs and into Jesss bed ........  :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

Awwwwwwww

----------


## Strugglingmum

> Jax has found his way upstairs and into Jess’s bed ........


Love this!!

----------


## Stella180

How is your new family member coming along? Has he trained you to give him lots of walks and treats ands cuddles?

----------


## Paula

Well, hes taken a liking to my bed, hes getting more and more confident and cheeky, and he did a poo on my bedroom floor ....... and we adore him  :):

----------


## Stella180

He pooped in your boudoir!? Naughty pooch. Wait, when you say “he” you do mean Jax and not Si? Just checking.

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  the thing is with retired greyhounds is that theyve spent their lives in kennels. Although he was in another foster home for a short while, housetraining is still a little hit and miss. Hes pretty good but the odd slip up is expected ...

----------


## Stella180

He’s smart dog. He’ll get it soon enough.

----------


## Paula

He will  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! It's the same with the rescue ones we get in, every now and again there's a slip up.... 
So he's totally got you all wrapped around his little paw then?

----------


## Paula

Maybe a little bit. We had to fight him for our bed last night - Si would get him off and turn his back for a second, hed be back there. I encouraged him off my side of the bed and he just lay down on Sis instead  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

Could you get him a big squishy cushion so he can still be in your room, but not on your bed?

----------


## Stella180

Or kick Si out to sleep on the floor and share your bed with Jax.

----------

Paula (29-04-20)

----------


## Paula

> Could you get him a big squishy cushion so he can still be in your room, but not on your bed?


We had a huge throw in the corner - he did eventually sleep on it when he got the hint  :O: . He really is a naughty boy - I wanted him to come in from the garden so offered up a tasty duck chew. He came in, took the chew and ran back outside before I closed the door!

----------


## Stella180

Haha, he’s not naughty, he’s an opportunist.  :):

----------


## OldMike

> We had a huge throw in the corner - he did eventually sleep on it when he got the hint . He really is a naughty boy - I wanted him to come in from the garden so offered up a tasty duck chew. He came in, took the chew and ran back outside before I closed the door!


Are you sure he's not a cat in disguise as doing the opposite of what is sensible is a cat's trait  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

That's hilarious! Lots of very strong training going on in your house then - not sure whether you're training him, or he's training you!  :):

----------


## Paula

Oh, hes definitely training us!

----------


## Stella180

So other than loving having a newcomer to the family, how is everything else?

----------


## Paula

Everythings fine. Considering the 3 of us are spending so much time together, were getting on ok. Im studying a lot, Sis still working and Jess is gaming. I miss hugs with Katie but Im not the only one in that situation

----------


## Stella180

I can totally understand how you feel about being away from your children. I’ve had to deal with that for a lot longer the 5 weeks  :(:  It’s one of the hardest things ever.

----------


## Paula

I know, hun.....

----------


## Stella180

How did your new pup sleep last night? Or where would be a better question lol

----------


## Paula

He slept on the throw in our bedroom  :):

----------


## Suzi

YAY!  :):  
Are you even allowed to see Katie yet? - with social distancing etc? It's nowhere near the same, but it might help a little?

----------


## Paula

Its Jesss birthday on Sunday so were going to have a social distancing party (ie, were going to have cake with us on the doorstep and Katie at the end of the driveway....)

----------


## Suzi

I'm so sorry it's still like that for you lovely.... Has she had chance to meet Jax yet?

----------


## Paula

She has - like when she was saying goodbye to Polo, she met him in the back garden.

----------


## Suzi

Aww, has she fallen for him too?

----------


## Paula

100%. And Jess is besotted - weve never seen her out of her bedroom so much  :(giggle):

----------

Stella180 (01-05-20)

----------


## Stella180

Poor Jax, it’s gotta be exhausting being that adorable all of the time.

----------


## Suzi

Aww! How are you today love?

----------


## Paula

In shock. My cousin was diagnosed with liver cancer two weeks ago and has just found out hes riddled and theyre looking at palliative care. Hes 34 and has 2yo twins, and a 9 yo. I may not have seen him for a few years, but hes family

----------


## Stella180

Oh Paula I’m sorry about your cousin. That must have come as quite a shock.

----------


## Paula

Yeah...

----------


## Stella180

Are you ok?

----------


## EJ

Really sorry to hear this sad news Paula x

----------

Paula (01-05-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

So sorry love.  :Panda:

----------

Paula (01-05-20)

----------


## Paula

> Are you ok?


Not really, but thank you

----------


## Suzi

Oh sweetheart that's horrible news. I'm so sorry....

----------

Paula (01-05-20)

----------


## Allalone

:Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

So sorry  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Thanks everyone....

Just been out for a walk with Si and Jax. He is so hyper aware of everything around him, watching out for those pesky small fluffies. I hoped the walk would ease my sore back but .. nope :/

----------


## Stella180

Maybe a good nights sleep will help. Does he not like any small fluffiest or just the kind that go meow?

----------


## Paula

It used to be all small fluffies but the kennels did a really good job at socialising him with small dogs. Hes mainly looking out for cat and bunnies and hedgehogs .....

----------


## Suzi

Morning love, how's your back? Did you sleep at all?

----------


## Paula

I slept, I almost always do (amitryptaline is awesome!). But my back is not great so todays a day of being attached to the heated cushion ......

----------


## Stella180

Sounds like a plan to me. Hope it helps.

----------

Paula (02-05-20)

----------


## Suzi

How's that heat working? Do you Tens machine?

----------


## Paula

Heat helps while Im on it. No I cant do Tens, doesnt play nice with CRPS

----------


## Suzi

Oh  :(:  Glad the heat helps lovely x
How are you doing now?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, just sore. Itll pass

----------


## Suzi

Yeah, but it sucks right now xxx

----------


## Paula

It does...

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope the back eases soon. Xx

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Jess is 19 today. Last year of her 2nd decade - eeeeek!

----------


## Allalone

Happy birthday Jess!

----------

Paula (03-05-20)

----------


## Suzi

Happy birthday Jess!

How are you today love?

----------


## Paula

Sore but birthday cake always helps  :O:

----------


## Stella180

Cake fixes everything!

----------

Paula (03-05-20)

----------


## Suzi

Hmmm omnomnomnomnom cake!

----------


## Paula

All I wanted was to know how much longer before I get to hug my baby. Feeling very sad tonight  :(:

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni  :Panda:  It really was a complete waste of a national adress...

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

How are you love?

----------


## Paula

Im ok.

----------


## Suzi

You don't sound it...

----------


## Paula

Im just tired. I fell asleep on the sofa and didnt get to bed til 2.45am

----------


## Paula

Which also means I didnt take my nighttime meds til 2.45, so everythings out of kilter

----------


## Suzi

Ahhh, oops. Didn't Si wake you?

----------


## Paula

Si was fast asleep. The real problem was I was late taking my evening meds so had to stay up for my nighttime ones. And I fell asleep

----------


## Stella180

Oops. I’ve been a little off with the timings of my meds on occasion lately and although you think an hour or two won’t really matter But trying to get that routine back on track can be harder than you think.

----------


## Suzi

You back on track today?

----------


## Paula

Just about

----------


## OldMike

There was a period a couple of months ago when taking my meds got rather erratic fortunately I've got my routine back on track now. Paula I'm sure you'll get get back on track soon.

----------


## Suzi

It's easily done - Marc did the same thing on the same day that you did.. 

How are you today lovely?

----------


## Paula

Im fine, more motivation, more energy. Cant decide whether to do cross stitch, rock choir or study this afternoon

----------


## Suzi

Maybe be kind to you and do a little bit of something, then pace a bit more?

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope you enjoyed whatever you chose to do

----------


## Paula

I completed section 3 (of 10) of my study (the early Church and the Jewish authorities). Now Im watching Father Brown and drinking coffee  :):

----------


## Suzi

OO I do love a bit of Father Brown! So underrated, but utterly lovely and wonderful! 
So, how was the study?

----------


## Paula

Really interesting. The way Acts is written is very clever in ways I didnt appreciate before

----------


## Paula

Eugh. Had a really bad night, then realised Id forgotten to take my nighttime meds. Its frightening how much I need the ami to sleep......

Then we had a pigeon related incident - it dared to come in the house and Jax didnt take that well. Lots of pigeon poo and blood, and Jax got so excited he jumped over the low garden wall and grazed his foot. Si is useless with birds so it was up to me to transport a very distraught pigeon out of the house (I held it in both hands while Si held on to me so I could walk)  :O:

----------


## Stella180

Sounds like a riot!!  Well done Jax for trying to protect his family from the flying vermin.

----------


## Paula

Hes distraught that Si shouted at him though

----------


## Suzi

Hunni, you're mixing up meds a bit this week - is it time for alarms on your phone or something? 
Oh no! At least you know he's protective lol....

----------


## Paula

Si made a similar comment. I dont know why I missed last night as I know I went into the kitchen and took my inhaler. Doesnt make sense at all

Bless him, Jax hasnt left Sis side since

----------


## Suzi

Aww! That's sweet!

----------


## Stella180

I’m guessing he was forgiven pretty much straight away. Good luck to anyone coming into your home uninvited.

----------


## Paula

I need advice from anybody who can! Si, Jess and I are running a competition between us - its an eBay Bargain Hunt inspired one. We each have Up to £200 to buy as many items as we like from eBay. We then have to sell the items on ebay - the one who makes the most profits (or least loss) wins.

So, Im thinking that, in this lockdown, hobbies are the way to go - jigsaw puzzles, crafts etc. What should I buy?

----------


## Suzi

You're right, I've loads of friends doing jigsaws, taking up art, learning new instruments etc - Job lots are always good for something like this, or clothes - no one can get out to go shopping, handbags, books etc...

----------

Paula (13-05-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hobbies sound the way to go. Even home exercise equipment 
Sounds like great fun

----------


## Stella180

If my eBay experience is anything to go by I would suggest finding something you don’t actually want and put a really silly low max bid on it and walk away. Eg. If a tablet you know is worth £100, maybe put a cheeky bid of £60. Do this with a handful of items. Then check your email a couple of days later and see how many you’ve won. If you don’t want it chances are you’ll bloody win it lol.

----------


## OldMike

Not got much experience of Ebay all I've bought is a couple of secondhand cassette decks for my hifi so can't really help you.

----------


## Suzi

Morning love, how are you?

----------


## Paula

Ive been fighting Microsoft 365 account logins all morning, but otherwise just swell  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Ewww... I feel your pain....

----------


## Paula

This bed is not Jax proof ......

----------


## Jaquaia

Oops!  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! Naughty Jax!!

----------


## Stella180

Oh dear! Clearly not grateful for the nice things he has the naughty boy.

----------


## Paula

To his credit, he does respond immediately to being told off

----------


## Stella180

Is he on the naughty step?

----------


## Paula

Hes very sheepish, and staying with me rather than Si which is unusual....

----------


## Strugglingmum

I think he just added to the overall look :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

Lol, he's smart then - knows who to hide behind  :O:

----------


## Paula

Im really cross. Yesterday my parents went to B&Q to get something for a neighbour. They were looking at the various options as she hadnt said exactly what she wanted while trying to stay socially distant from a man who was getting impatient as he wanted to look in the same area, when the man yelled at them to get out of the way and said that old people should be banned from going to places like that. What makes it worse is my dad is 69 and my mum is 64!

----------


## Jaquaia

I'm not surprised you're cross! People can be arses!!!

----------


## Mira

I would feel that way too. How dare he. And why? What a......

----------


## Suzi

How dare they? They shouted at your parents? That's awful! Are they OK?

----------


## Stella180

I have to admit, I’m pretty impatient and get frustrated too as I like to go into a shop, get what I wanted and get out but there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for being so rude. As Bronn taught us in GoT, there’s no cure for being a C@&!

----------

Suzi (15-05-20)

----------


## Paula

Mums ok (things like that just wash over her). Dad is angry and stressed Particularly as he hates getting older and todays his birthday. But hell be ok

In other news, Ive done my family Bargain Hunt EBay shopping. Si went down the quantity route (50 items!), so I decided to go down the quality route and have spent all but £7 of my budget on a rose gold quartz ring and a white & yellow gold twist ring. I may bomb but its going to be fun  :):

----------


## Stella180

I realise the idea is to sell what you bought right?

----------


## Suzi

What about Jess? When are they going on sale? What about postage costs etc?

----------


## Paula

Yes I need to sell them but if I dont .....  :O: 

Jess and Si are working together, theyll go on sale when Ive got them lol and postage is added on to the purchase price, but eBay selling fees wont be

----------


## Paula

I got my new prescription through today to try and deal with my IIH. Im now on Topiramate. Theres a slight chance itll affect my lithium levels, so theyll have to keep an eye on that and theres a more than slight chance itll affect my depression and anxiety. But forewarned and all that. On the up side, theres a reasonable chance Ill lose weight  :O:

----------


## Suzi

How do you feel about it?

----------


## Paula

If my IIH doesnt get under control, I could end up with a shunt. So I need to try this

----------


## Suzi

It's good you're going to try it... 

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Bleurgh. Nauseous, dizzy, general new drug sort of day :/

----------


## Stella180

That sucks mate. Take it easy.

----------


## Suzi

Will you pace? Take things gently?

----------


## Paula

I am, Ive hidden myself away in the tv room with my cross stitch and David Boreanaz. I tried Rock Choir this morn8ng but got lightheaded

----------


## Suzi

Are you watching the Eurovish tonight?

----------


## Stella180

David Boreanaz? Buffy? Angel? Bones?

----------


## Paula

> David Boreanaz? Buffy? Angel? Bones?


Bones - Ive been watching them all from the beginning again. Theyre on the cusp of getting it on  :O: 




> Are you watching the Eurovish tonight?


God no. Sorry, hunni, this is one area we disagree ....,,

----------


## Suzi

ROFL! Hope you're taking it really easy... 

Oh how are you doing with your ebay challenge?

----------


## Paula

Im waiting for the rings to be delivered. I made offers on them and got £10 off one and £20 off another so Im hoping I can make a small profit

----------


## Suzi

Well played  :O:

----------


## Paula

Almost 11 hours sleep last night - obviously needed it ....

----------


## Suzi

Good! How are you feeling today?

----------


## Paula

Tired (?) but not as dizzy atm

----------


## Suzi

Glad you're not as dizzy - hope you're still pacing love...

----------


## Stella180

Oh the joys of new meds eh? It can be a wild ride at times but just have to go with it.

----------


## Paula

Ok, really dizzy now, and massive brain fog. Oh, and all liquids taste metallic, which is always fun.  Ill have to pace as I cant focus on anything..... looking forward to this passing

----------


## Stella180

And it will pass but you know that already.

----------


## Suzi

It will pass, you know that love... Hang on in there. x

----------


## Paula

Ive spent the afternoon lying down as Im so dizzy and have no energy. But Im hanging on

----------


## Suzi

You're amazing. Keep fighting. You know deep down that this will pass.... I'm glad Si's at home with you - is he working from home currently as you are shielding?

----------


## Paula

Yeah, he reckons hell be working from home til the end of the year, maybe permanently

----------


## Suzi

OOO how do you (both) feel about that?

----------


## Paula

Hes fine, theyve just had a survey about it - he thinks theyll have an outcome that the majority will work from home with the occasional meeting in the office. With the offices in London, theres a feeling they should reduce commuter numbers.

Im good about it. I like having him home and weve got the space so hes not in the way  :):

----------


## Suzi

I think it sounds really good for all concerned - not doing the long commute has got to help his stress levels too!

----------


## Paula

So, Ive been up for an hour and only had 1 dizzy spell. Long may it last  :):

----------


## Suzi

I was just going to ask how you are today... Long may the no dizziness continue!

----------


## Paula

Yesterday I posted this on fb

I think Ive just agreed to use the throw that was on our bed, that Jax has claimed as his, to repair the bed that he loves but has chewed and to make into an extra layer of comfort for his other bed. #pamperedpooch

Its taken me most of today but Ive repaired his bed by sewing the torn fabric back together, by cutting out a 60cm x 88cm piece of the throw, and sewing it (2 fabric layers and 1 quilt layer) onto the bed. Im really chuffed with it. Tomorrow, Im going to make a blanket for his other bed.  :):

----------


## Stella180

Pics???

----------


## Suzi

Awww I love that he's being so pampered!

----------


## Paula

He is pampered. I said to mum last night that I think hes being especially pampered as were projecting our grief over Polo on him. And I dont feel in the slightest bit guilty about it  :O: . Anyhow, pics before and after

----------

OldMike (20-05-20)

----------


## Stella180

Lucky pup

----------

Paula (19-05-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's awesome!

----------

Paula (19-05-20)

----------


## Paula

Hes happy  :):

----------


## Suzi

Good!

----------


## Paula

Doh. My eyesight was really blurry this morning and I panicked as I thought it was something to do with the topiramate. I asked Si to check my glasses werent dirty, which they werent. So he asked, are you sure you have t left your contacts in? ..........

----------


## Suzi

Oops! How's the dizziness etc?

----------


## OldMike

Jax bed looks brilliant. Hope your blurry eyesight soon clears up, I get that sometimes usually when I'm tired.

----------


## Paula

Thanks mike. Nope, eyesight definitely down to contacts and glasses at the same time ..  :O: 

Sorry, Suzi, didnt see your question. Dizziness all gone. Im ok now, thank goodness

----------


## Paula

Ive spent the afternoon horizontal again ......

----------


## Stella180

I wish I had. How do you feel now?

----------


## Paula

Spinning. Not in a good way

----------


## Stella180

So much for the dizziness being gone eh?  :(:

----------


## Paula

It will

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:   :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Weve had news on my cousin. His op removed all his bowel and he has a stoma. They cant do anything about his liver cancer - hes having chemo but only to prolong life. I dont know how long

----------


## Suzi

Oh lovely, I'm so sorry. Definitely not the news you were hoping for... In my thoughts and prayers lovely.

----------


## Paula

Ive had a distressing day. I rang the doctors to talk about my new prescription for the higher dose that should start next week. She was very thorough and quickly realised that the topimarate dose prescribed by the neurologist was 25mg at night for 2 weeks then 50mg at night repeating. The prescription supplied to the pharmacy (which I was given a copy of) was for 25mg twice daily for 2 weeks then 50mg twice daily repeating. Its no wonder Ive been feeling so ill, with all my other meds. The doctor was cross and is going to flag it up as a potentially dangerous mistake. Anyway, we agreed it doesnt make sense to go back a step but Ill be taking 50mg at night, which may mean no dizzy spells in the day. I also asked her about the slight possibility that topimarate affects lithium levels so she agreed I need a lithium blood test. As Im on multiple meds she also said theyve recently taken on board an in-house pharmacist and shes going to task her to look at all my meds and make sure theyre agreeing with each other.

An hour later she called back. Shes decided to have a good look back at my history and bloods. Where she discovered 2 things. 1. Id been over medicated with my thyroid medicated since 2018. And 2. My last lithium blood test in March had shown my lithium level was right on the absolute top level of normal. Both she was very worried about. So, Ive got to drop the thyroxine and have a blood test in 6 weeks and Ive got to have a lithium test now (Ive booked in this Tuesday) and we decide next steps from there.

Im angry, and upset. All of this has and could have had a huge impact on my health. The lithium could have made me seriously ill and how could they have missed the thyroxine for 2 years?

----------


## Stella180

Wow! That is madness. When you are tested regularly there is no excuse for missing any of these things. No wonder you’re upset by it, I’d be exactly the same. Thankfully you’ve spoken to someone how it on the ball and it’s all getting resolved now.

----------


## Jaquaia

That's ridiculous. How on earth has that been missed??.

----------


## Paula

I have no idea. Ive been in tears a lot today - theyve let me down big time.

----------


## Suzi

That's disgusting! I'm so glad it's been found now, but so many mistakes is unacceptable. I hope you're putting in proper formal complaints...

----------


## Paula

Probably, but Si wants me to focus on getting it sorted first, for my own benefit. I dont know if hes right or Katie, my mum and my best friend .....

----------


## Suzi

They are right and of course getting you sorted is the most important thing..

----------


## Paula

Sorry, I wasnt clear. The girls disagree with Si and think I should make a formal complaint

----------


## Stella180

Yes, maybe you should make a formal complaint however the priority has to be on getting everything right with you first. 
How do you feel? Would drafting a letter help get this all out of your head? You don’t have to send it straight away and maybe Putting all those frustrations down on paper would be therapeutic? I dunno.

----------


## Paula

How do I feel? Yesterday I was shaken up. Today, Im furious.

----------


## Suzi

I'm not surprised.... What are you going to do about it?

----------


## Paula

I dont know

----------


## Suzi

Get things sorted first then go in all guns blazing? 
Is this a new doctor?

----------


## Paula

Shes certainly one Ive never spoken to before but, like all surgeries nowadays, theyre changing hands all the time

Im struggling with severe brain fog today

----------


## Jaquaia

So rest and take it easy

----------


## Suzi

Jaq's right. Your poor body is going to struggle with so many changes... Be kind to you.

----------


## Paula

Ive not been able to do anything today. Have barely even managed to watch father brown. So Ive painted my toes instead

----------


## Suzi

Well done on painting your toes! What colour did you go for?

----------


## Paula

Bright pink

----------


## Stella180

Glittery?

----------


## Suzi

Fabulous!  :):

----------


## Paula

> Glittery?


No but very bright.

Im so fuzzy, it feels like my brains working at 40%. Its a real struggle to do anything ...

----------


## Suzi

Then pace!  :):

----------


## Stella180

Your 40% is still an improvement on the majority of guys I’ve dated.

----------


## Paula

Im not sure thats a compliment  :P:

----------


## Stella180

Well I guess they’d have to be pretty dumb to date me anyway.

----------


## Paula

Oh do not turn that on you! Youre awesome!

----------


## OldMike

> Ive not been able to do anything today. Have barely even managed to watch father brown. So Ive painted my toes instead


I love Father Brown even though they're repeats. Pink toes now that's cute.

----------

Paula (24-05-20)

----------


## Suzi

I love Father Brown too! 

Hope today is less foggy for you love.

----------


## Paula

I am not loving this drug. I am very anxious and am also suffering from bleeding gums (apparently a common side effect)

----------


## Suzi

Are there any alternatives?

----------


## Paula

I dont know. One of the alternatives I had a nasty reaction to, the diuretic isnt helping. So I dont know where we go from here. Si has suggested I speak to the GP on Tuesday about stopping it and then get a tel appointment with the neurologist

----------


## Suzi

I think Si's right...

----------

Paula (24-05-20)

----------


## Paula

Struggling. Other than my bloods and talking to the doctor, Ive been sleeping all morning. Except when Ive been wringing the plaster between my fingers......

GP has asked me to halve the dose tonight and will call me tomorrow, hopefully the lithium results will be back. Shes also asked me to speak to the neurologist asap, so Ive spoken to his secretary and shell email him. GP was very keen on making sure I had people around me

----------


## Suzi

I'm not surprised she wanted you to have people around you. 
What've you done to your fingers? 

You still feeling rough?

----------


## Paula

Ah no, it was the plaster from my bloods - I took it off and was just wringing it Through my fingers for about half hour

Yeah, Im rough. I spend my life trying to keep stable and this screws it all up

----------


## Suzi

Oh lovely, it will get better...

----------


## Stella180

It’s just a bump in the road. It’ll soon be sorted.

----------


## Paula

Really? Only the GP was loathe to reduce the topiramate because youve tried everything else

----------


## Paula

Had a call from a different GP this evening. Lithium results back already and theyre high. Because I was taking the whole dose at night, he wants me to try splitting the dose between morning and night to see if my body copes with it better that way - and retest in a month

----------


## Stella180

You think that with help?

----------


## Paula

My lithium has apparently been an issue for a couple of months, so no. But if it makes them feel better ...

----------


## Suzi

It's not good enough really love.... I hope when your body is more sorted that you go out for blood...

----------

Paula (26-05-20)

----------


## OldMike

Hopefully splitting the lithium dose will enable your body to deal with it better  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing today gorgeous?

----------


## Paula

Rough. On top of how Im feeling, Im also now dealing with changes in 3 different meds.....

----------


## Stella180

And you know what? I have every faith in you getting through this cos you are freaking awesome. I know it’s hard right now and everything sucks but if anyone can get through a tough patch like this my money would be on you from the start. You’ll get through this. I wish there was something I could do to help.

----------


## Suzi

Then pace, rest, shout and scream at me if it helps... This is beyond tough...

----------

Paula (27-05-20)

----------


## EJ

Hi Paula I’m sorry that you are having a tough time with new meds/ combination of meds. I thought that lithium levels varied from person to person and are ‘set’ depending on what illness you are treated for. I always thought that levels for bipolar were higher than for severe depressive disorder. My last blood test in April was 0.9 which I thought was a bit on the high side but still in the therapeutic range. I’m guessing that your therapeutic range and dose are different. If it is or has been a few times on the high side then they have a responsibility to drop it a bit. The hot weather does not help and the new drug which is probably pushing the levels up. I know when I’ve messed up the lithium dose I’ve felt a bit weepy. When do they review this ?

----------


## Paula

4 weeks. Ive been on lithium for 13 years and have never had a problem before

----------


## Suzi

You've got this. It sucks and it isn't right or fair, but I know you can do this...

----------


## Jaquaia

How are you doing?

----------


## Paula

Mentally, fragile but a little better than a couple of days ago. Physically, the mental block Ive been using since Bath has come crashing down so Im sore, very sore. Si is being amazing and just letting me do whatever I need to do to keep calm. That mainly involves watching Poirot.....

----------


## Stella180

Poirot? Not the Winchester Boys? Oh my! We need to have words my friend.

----------


## Paula

I cant focus on much else

----------


## Stella180

Fair enough mate. I know how that feels.

----------


## EJ

I love Poirot xx

----------


## Suzi

I've recently rewatched all of Poirot! Awesome x 

Hope today is a little brighter though lovely...

----------


## Paula

I have chewed all the skin around my nails. Theyre really sore

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! Ben and Hazel do this....  :Panda:  Today a little brighter?

----------


## Paula

Today is distinctly all over the place ...

----------


## Jaquaia

Can you take it easy?

----------


## Paula

I am :):  got Housegroup catch up in a bit but otherwise not doing much. Si bought me a cornetto, bless him (lots of WW points but Im trying to ignore that...) and Ive had a FaceTime chat with a Katie. So being spoilt

----------


## Suzi

Is Katie coming to see you tomorrow in the garden?

----------


## Strugglingmum

Slow and steady.

----------


## Paula

> Is Katie coming to see you tomorrow in the garden?


Yes for a BBQ  :):  after work.

How is it that sitting in my TV room chatting to friends on Zoom has left me so sore? Have I just forgotten? I was going to contact Bath for any advice but they have completely disbanded and been reallocated until the current crisis is over, so I wont get hold of anyone. So Ill have to get back by myself

----------


## Suzi

I'm so glad about Katie! 

You can do this. Think back to day 1 at Bath.... What did they say?

----------


## Paula

Day 1? We cant cure you (lol). Today, Im too tired to even begin to work on it

----------


## Suzi

Then don't today. See how you feel tomorrow.... Just doing the basics is good too remember...

----------


## OldMike

^^^ What Suzi says

Yipee a BBQ with Katie sounds lovely.

----------


## Paula

So I did a little bit of research last night on prolonged overtreated hypothyroidism. Turns out its a significant risk factor in osteoporosis......

----------


## Suzi

Let's not borrow trouble shall we? You've got enough dealing with the here and now, rather than worrying about what "might" happen in the future....... 

How are you today?

----------


## Stella180

Step away from Dr Google.

----------


## Paula

Not dr Google, its the main U.K. charity for thyroid disease, a charity I've obviously had an interest in since lithium damaged my thyroid 13 years ago, which meant having to have radiotherapy, which destroyed my thyroid. 

Its also not a sometime in the future either as with a hyperactive thyroid (which effectively the over medication gave me), a scan is recommended 2-3 years after successful medication starts.

As its the GPS  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  up that led to my prolonged over medication, Im going to insist on a bone scan.

----------


## Jaquaia

Sounds sensible

----------


## Stella180

Sorry mate I didn’t mean to upset you. It sounds like a bone scan is a good plan and with hopefully give you some piece of mind that no permanent damage has been caused, not that that lets the quacks off the hook.

----------


## Suzi

Absolutely get that scan. It's the least they can do. It's disgraceful what's happened to you.

----------


## Paula

Ive talked to Si and Im going to completely stop the topiramate. Ive not yet heard from neurology but Im done waiting.

----------

Suzi (02-06-20)

----------


## Paula

Im closing this thread as. Its far too long

----------

