# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Checking in

## Paula

Its been a full on, intense, exhausting 4 weeks and Im on my knees but, wow, the difference its made. When I started, I was measured at walking 42 meters (with a hunched back, 2 crutches, barely putting weight through my bad leg) in 2 minutes. Yesterday, I used just one crutch, putting my weight through my leg, upright, with a much less crooked frame and walked 103 meters in 2 minutes.. 4 weeks ago, I was asked to do as many stand ups from a chair as I could - I used both crutches and managed 6 in a minute. Yesterday I didnt use my crutches and managed 17......

Im still in just as much pain but the programme showed me that Im always going to be in pain, I just needed to change my actions in responding to the pain. So, i engaged with all the psych input and did all the physical exercise they asked (stretches, strengthening, balance, gym work and yoga) and I cant believe how much difference its made. And because it was so heavily psychology based, my confidence is better, Im handling my anxiety better and Ive been doing so much more

Now, Ive got to use what Ive learned irl, whichll take time, and work out my own programme

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## Jaquaia

That's absolutely amazing! You're amazing!!!! So, so proud of you  :Panda:

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Paula (21-09-19)

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## OldMike

Welcome back Paula, you've had a tough month but you battled through as I knew you would because you're a fighter  :(bear):   :Panda:

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Paula (21-09-19)

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## magie06

Welcome home Paula. You have been missed from here, but it sounds like it really worked for you. 
You are amazing.

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Paula (21-09-19)

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## Paula

Its been a tough month to be away! A few days before I left, Si found out he was being made redundant. Hes spent the last month trying to give a case why his role is vital to the business.  He won and his job is safe, but at the cost of the manager who works for him - who Si had to fire .... 

Jess has a job, she starts on Monday as a Junior Underwriter for a finance company.

Katie split up with her boyfriend (mutually), so I had to deal with her emotions over the phone, poor baby. Although they both knew it was over, theyve been together 4 years and still care about each other, and shes going to miss his family. Mind you, shes started seeing her supervisor very recently.

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## Jaquaia

That just makes you even more awesome, to deal with all that on top of your course. Congrats to Jess!

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Paula (21-09-19)

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## Suzi

That's a phenomenal post! You are amazing!

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Paula (21-09-19)

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## Angie

This shows how totally amazing you are that you have dealt with all of that hunni x

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## Mira

This is so good to read. It gives me a smile. Not by you being in pain. But how you are learing to cope with it better and be able to do more. You rock!

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## Strugglingmum

That is so amazing. Im bursting with happiness for you and so so proud of you for all the work you have put in plus coping with all that going on at home. You my lovely are a phenomenal force of nature!!! An incredible lady. Proud and blest to know you. Xx

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## Paula

:(blush):

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## Suzi

> That is so amazing. Im bursting with happiness for you and so so proud of you for all the work you have put in plus coping with all that going on at home. You my lovely are a phenomenal force of nature!!! An incredible lady. Proud and blest to know you. Xx


Shhhh don't tell her all of this - she'll never get her head through the staff room door  :O:

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## Paula

Pfft.

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## Jaquaia

:(giggle):

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## Paula

Just leaving this here - Ive just joined Si in taking Polo for a (short) walk  :O:

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## Suzi

OMG! Wheelchair? Crutches?

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## Paula

One crutch ......

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## Suzi

OMFG That's amazing! How are you feeling? Are you resting? Was he completely blown away?

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## Paula

Lol, yes he was. Ill post the process over the next few days - its quite complicated but boils down to the fact that Im always going to be in pain, that doesnt mean I have to be afraid of it and let it rule my life, which it has been.

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## Suzi

It's fantastic that it's working for you!

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## Jaquaia

You're amazing!!!

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## Suzi

Shh, don't keep telling her! Blimey, if you all keep telling her then she'll start making outlandish demands for payment via glitter or something.... Think of the planet, there isn't enough glitter to pay her in!  :(rofl):

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## Jaquaia

Bio degradable Chunky Glitter from PaintGlow (Vegan) face cosmetic glitters biodegradable chunky Glitter, unicorn glitter, body glitter, face glitter, glitter fix glue, fix gel, https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07F22QM..._mg.HDb42S3129

Biodegradable glitter  :O:

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## Angie

:(rofl):

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## Suzi

OMG sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much glitter!!!!!!!

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## Strugglingmum

> Lol, yes he was. Ill post the process over the next few days - its quite complicated but boils down to the fact that Im always going to be in pain, that doesnt mean I have to be afraid of it and let it rule my life, which it has been.


This is awesome..... just saying.... shhhh don't tell Suzi, but I think you're amazing :(nod):

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## Paula

If it helps, Ill take part Payment in custard cremes  :(rofl):

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## Suzi

Eww! Out of all the sweet biscuity treats you choose custard creams? Am disappointed in your choices....

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## Paula

I put on 4 kilos in hospital, if I ask for custard cremes, I wont be tempted to eat them all in one go  :O: 

Edit 2 kilos - wow! Ive never made myself out to be heavier than I am before lol

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Suzi (23-09-19)

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## OldMike

Custard creams were my mum's fav biscuits though I'm more a choc digestive man myself and dare I say it those non-biscuit Jaffa Cakes are totally scrummy.

Hey Paula if you like custard creams you must adore bourbons  :):

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## Paula

Bourbons  :(shake):

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## Jaquaia

Well there goes my plan of blaming the bourbon theft on you! Thank you very much!!!  :(:

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Paula (23-09-19)

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## Suzi

I love bourbons and am rather partial to Morrisons own brand hobnobs! (Delicious and vegan and they dunk particularly well too!)

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## Paula

Si bought garibaldis nom

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## Suzi

ooooo Squashed flies biscuits! They used to be one of my Dad's favourite!

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## Jaquaia

Asda's chocolate hobnobs are amazing!!!

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## Jarre

Hobnobs are the king of the dunkers!

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## Flo

Lidl double choc. chip cookies take some beating!

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## Paula

Today has been less hectic than the last couple of days, but definitely a win  :):  Ive contacted a local yoga instructor who does 1:1, got info from the Salvation Army on their correspondence courses, and will be doing a bite size lesson to see if I can get on with it. Ive booked my flu jab, done my exercises and picked up my meds.

Tomorrow, mums coming for a hospital appointment so well be going out for lunch and Friday Im going to the church coffee shop lunch and talk (on New Zealand). My time in Bath has taught me to challenge what I can do, so thats what Im doing!

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Strugglingmum (25-09-19)

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## Flo

Hi Paula...lovely to see you. It sounds like Bath was a very positive experience. It'll be good to see your mum and it seems you have  good things lined up for you to do.xx

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## Jaquaia

You're awesome

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## Paula

Just doing what I need to do  :): 

Im sorry Im going to bore everyone talking about Bath but I thought its important to document some of my achievements so you all can kick me up the wotsit when Im struggling.

One of my long term targets is going to the west end with Si and the girls. A step towards this was us going to the Old Theatre Royal in Bath, which we did and had a great time (the play was hilarious!)

Another is to do with walking and recklessly I gave myself a task to walk from the hospital to Bath Abbey, which is 0.5 km over cobbled pavements. Which I did and picked up a leaflet to prove it lol.

Both of these were huge and I still cant believe I did it  :):

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OldMike (25-09-19),Strugglingmum (25-09-19)

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## Suzi

You walked over cobbles? Half a km? You are so amazing!

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## Paula

I did  :O:

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## Jaquaia

You really are amazing!!!

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## Suzi

That is so awesome, you know it made me cry right? I'm so pleased for you and so very proud of you x

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Paula (25-09-19)

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## Paula

> You walked over cobbles? Half a km? You are so amazing!


Ooo, I just realised that its 0.5km is only one way. I did 1km!!

In other news, I have my first yoga session a week tomorrow, and Ive chosen a bite size course to do from the Salvation Army to see if I like their courses  :):

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OldMike (27-09-19)

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## Jaquaia

See! Awesome!!!

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## Suzi

I didn't know they did courses! 
Yoga? Lol....

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## Angie

Brilliant you are totally amazing xx

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## Paula

> Yoga? Lol....


The worst thing is, my MIL, who teaches yoga, has been telling me for years I should try it ....

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## Suzi

Oh no......................... not a "MIL is right" situation? That's really bad.......

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## Paula

Oh yes, and were seeing them Saturday so I cant hide from it lol

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## Suzi

Oh no!!!! I hope you are truly ready for the "I told you so's"....

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## Paula

Im ready to eat humble pie ....

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## Suzi

OOOO don't you turn into one of those "have you tried yoga?" people!!!

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## Paula

The yoga instructor started when she broke her back 35 years ago and says shes a bit evangelical about it. I promise to try not to be the same  :(giggle):

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## OldMike

Walking 1 km over cobbles wow go girl  :(clap): 

Enjoy your yoga class.

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## Paula

Ive been to the church coffee shop lunch, and enjoyed it!

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## EJ

It is great to see your new found confidence since you came back from Bath. Yoga was one of the options I looked at to help my back pain. OH does it and I think that you can go into it at any level and age. It is non competitive. I look forward to hearing about it xx

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Paula (27-09-19)

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## Suzi

Well done lovely!

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## Paula

Ive pushed it a bit today and am flaring. But, I am always going to flare so Im just trying to accept it as part of things and itll pass. Its been a tough week trying to put a lot of things in place and challenging everything I do, but its mostly been successful  :):

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## Jaquaia

You're awesome

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Paula (27-09-19)

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## Suzi

I am so proud of you working so hard on this!

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Paula (27-09-19)

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## Strugglingmum

What a strong courageous lady. You rock! (With glitter of course)

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## Paula

> What a strong courageous lady. You rock! (With glitter of course)


Always with glitter  :O:

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## Paula

Ok, Im having a bit of a wobble today. Im tired, I dont feel great, Ive got a really  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  day tomorrow and Katie hasnt spent a night at home in over a week  :=(:

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## Angie

Sweetheart go and rest, who is going with you tomorrow?

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## Paula

Erm, no one. Ive off to bed now ...

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## Angie

Get some sleep and rest hunni as you have a busy day tomorrow xx

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## Suzi

Why isn't anyone going with you? 
Is Katie with her new BF?

With you all the way love. Sing 80's power ballads in your head.... "The power of love," "Think twice," - not 80's but Weak, Bi(ch,  etc... You've got this.

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## Angie

How is or has today gone hunni ? hope you are going to be resting x

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## Suzi

Hope you're OK, but resting...

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## Paula

> Why isn't anyone going with you? .


Sis has to take so much time off while I was in Bath, at a really bad time, that I didnt want him to come, Katie and Jess were at work, my best friend is on holiday

Ive been, Ive done, I got home

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## Angie

Glad your home sweetie please rest up now xx

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## Suzi

> Si’s has to take so much time off while I was in Bath, at a really bad time, that I didn’t want him to come, Katie and Jess were at work, my best friend is on holiday
> 
> I’ve been, I’ve done, I got home


In future let me know and I'll try and come with you, you narna.

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Paula (30-09-19)

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## Jaquaia

You really are amazing but I hope tomorrow is going to be a rest day lovely

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## Paula

Not really, I'm at the opticians

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## Suzi

I have to book my eye test....

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## Paula

2.5 hours at the opticians. After yesterday, I just want to collapse in a heap .....

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## Jaquaia

Rest tomorrow?

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## Paula

Ish, I need to pop over with my SIL birthday present in the afternoon, and I have Housegroup  :O:

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## Suzi

2.5 hours? That sounds intense...

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## Paula

It was a sight test, contact lens check, neither of which is straightforward because I have a scar on my right eye and scars from laser eye surgery on my left eye ........ then having to choose 2 pairs of glasses - I had a bit of a panic attack as there was a lot of people around me so I ended sitting down while a member of staff kept bringing frames out to me. And then I had to go to Sainsburys to buy some ready reader glasses as the contact lenses they could do arent good enough todo my cross stitch without extra help from the reading glasses

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## Suzi

That sounds so hard!  :Panda:  :Panda: 

Pushing is great, but are you pushing too hard this week?

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## Paula

Yes, but it just worked out that way. All of my appointments yesterday had to be moved because I went to Bath. Sometimes it just is what it is.

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## Suzi

Absolutely.... But I also know you're really stubborn and like to push things if you can.....  :O:

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## Jaquaia

Paula??? Stubborn??? Surely not!!!!

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## Paula

Have no idea what youre talking about .....

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## Suzi

Uh huh.......

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Paula (02-10-19)

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## OldMike

> Paula??? Stubborn??? Surely not!!!!


I think the word is persistent  :O:

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## Suzi

So... How are you doing love?

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## Paula

Im really, really tired. Ive been to see my SIL as its her birthday and Im off to Housegroup in a bit. But tomorrow Ive not got anything planned other than exercises so Ill rest and maybe do cross stitch for the first time in 2 months

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## Angie

Glad that you will be resting tomorrow sweetie xx

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## Suzi

Good! I'm glad you're thinking about resting at least a little...

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## Strugglingmum

Hope you're taking it easy. Xx

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## Angie

How are you today hunni ? xx

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## Paula

I havent been able to keep my eyes open all day, so Ive decided to just go with what my body is telling me. Ive had a shower and got dressed but thats about it

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## Angie

You have had quite a few busy days so it will make you tired hunni x

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## Jaquaia

Rest, rest and rest!!!

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## Suzi

Sometimes you just have to do that.  One step at a time.

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## Strugglingmum

Sounds like a rest day was well overdue. Xx

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## Angie

Hello sweetie, how are you doing today ? x

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## Paula

Hey, Im still a bit drowsy but better than yesterday. My curate has been here this morning and Im off to yoga in a bit  :):

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## Angie

Glad your better today sweetie, please pace xx

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## Paula

First yoga session! It went well, we spent a lot of time going over my mobility stuff first but still got a lot of yoga in.

Ive just got of the phone to my GP. Ive decided to come off morphine (zomorph extended release) and we agreed a schedule of 10mg every 2 weeks with the option to pause whenever I need to. Gulp  :O:

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## Angie

Glad the yoga was good hunni, sounds sensible regards the morphine but please pause if you need to xx

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## Jaquaia

:Panda:

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## Strugglingmum

That is very brave. Well done you. I'm so proud of you for really taking on board all you've learnt and striving to thrive instead of existing.  Xx

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Paula (04-10-19)

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## Suzi

Are you doing a 1:1 yoga course? 
Well done about the morphine. I thought you would try to come off it when you mentioned it whilst you were still in Bath. How does Si feel about it?

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## Paula

Yes its 1:1, it wouldnt be fair on everyone else if I was in a class. 
I was intending to wait to come off the morphine until Id got a routine with everything Ive learned in place but after my hospital appointment the other day, it makes sense to come off it sooner rather than later. Si is ok, he knows the reasonings from Bath and it makes sense. Ill still be on a lot of pain Relief!

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## Suzi

You're amazing! I'm so proud of you!

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## OldMike

I'm proud of you, you've decided to bite the bullet so to speak rather than keep deferring coming of morphine till other things are in place  :Panda:

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## Angie

^What they said xx

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## Paula

Morphine reduction starts tomorrow. Though Ive also got my flu jab tomorrow sooooooooo

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## Jaquaia

I can't have mine yet. Apparently the doctors haven't received the under-65s jabs yet...

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## Paula

My local Boots is doing it for me

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## Suzi

I got accosted by one of the nurses when I took Fern in for her ECG! 
Take the morphine reduction one day at a time...

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Paula (07-10-19)

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## magie06

How did your flu jab go? I'm due mine tomorrow although I don't think I'll get it, because I've a sore throat.

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## Paula

It was fine, doesnt even hurt which is not usual for me. I was concerned about starting the morphine reduction on the same day but Im ok atm
I walked to the pharmacy - a round trip (with a sit down in the middle) of a mile  :):

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## Suzi

You walked? That's amazing! That's a long way!

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## Strugglingmum

> It was fine, doesnt even hurt which is not usual for me. I was concerned about starting the morphine reduction on the same day but Im ok atm
> I walked to the pharmacy - a round trip (with a sit down in the middle) of a mile


That is amazing. Well done love. You really are doing fab. Im so proud of you. Cheering you on with sparkly pompoms.

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## Paula

Lol Im paying for it now. But tomorrow is a quiet day so I shall recover then  :O:

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## Suzi

Well done for planning to rest tomorrow lovely.

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## Angie

Thats brilliant hunni and glad you have rest in place aswell x

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## Jaquaia

You're amazing! I am so proud of you!

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## Paula

So tired today - but my bodys dealing with a few things so Im not surprised

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## Angie

Hope your resting x

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## Suzi

How are you doing love? Apart from tired?

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## Paula

Im ok. Ive had a walk, did my exercises and just had a gentle day. Im seeing my bf tomorrow  :):

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## Suzi

Yay for BF!

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## Angie

Enjoy and have fun with your BF

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## Jaquaia

Have fun!!!

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## Paula

I did have fun! And were going for an unscheduled meal out with Katies boyfriend too  :):

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## Angie

Oooo enjoy x

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## Suzi

YAY!  :):

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## Strugglingmum

Sounds lovely. X

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## Suzi

How are you this morning?

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## Paula

Tired, mainly

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## Paula

Im suddenly feeling rubbish - achey, fluey ...

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## Jaquaia

Hope you're resting?  :Panda:

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## Angie

What Jaq says sweetie please make sure you rest xx

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## Paula

I am. Ive only done my stretches, not the full exercises and Im just going to do cross stitching this afternoon. I had an upset tum last night too and just realised thats withdrawal too :/ Ive got yoga tomorrow and really dont want to miss that

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## Angie

Glad that you have rest planned sweetie xx

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## Suzi

Withdrawal sucks.... (hugs)

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## Strugglingmum

Youre doing amazing. Well done for resting. Xx

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## Paula

> Withdrawal sucks.... (hugs)


It does, but Im going to have learn to to put up with it and not moan - this is going to take at least 3 months ....

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## Suzi

You never moan. There's a huge difference between talking about how things are and moaning......

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Angie (10-10-19),Paula (11-10-19)

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## Jaquaia

Venting helps. It isn't moaning, it's working through things  :Panda:

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Angie (10-10-19)

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## Paula

I felt rough this morning, sore, a bit sick and woolly so plonked myself the tv.. but I did decide to go to yoga, Ive just got back and feel much better, and even managed to go on my hands and KNEES for the first time in years!

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## Angie

Wow well done sweetie I hope your are as proud of yourself as we are of you xx but all the same please rest x

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Paula (11-10-19)

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## Jaquaia

Go you!!!! You're awesome!

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Paula (11-10-19)

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## Strugglingmum

That is amazing Paula!! Well done. I am in awe at the difference going to Bath has made in your life but its all because you are so amazing and determined to put it all into practice. You are inspiring.  Xx

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Paula (11-10-19)

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## Suzi

You were on your hands and knees? That's amazing. It wasn't long ago you couldn't bear the touch of fabric on your leg and look at you now! That's phenomenal!

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## Angie

WSS^.

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## Paula

Thank you all  :):

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## EJ

Well done Paula xx

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## OldMike

Brilliant Paula, you're awesomeness personified  :Panda:

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## Paula

I feel a little bit embarrassed to talk about yet more but .......

This morning I drove, on my own, to Winchester, met a friend for coffee (and stayed for 2 hours, even flirted with the barista a little bit), went into M&S to get a couple of bras. On the way, spied a pair of shoes. Welllllllll, not only were they a standard fit - Ive had to wear wide fit cos of my swollen foot for years - but (and I know the girls will get the significance for me) ..........

https://www.marksandspencer.com/bloc...9?prevPage=srp

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Jaquaia (13-10-19),OldMike (13-10-19)

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## Jaquaia

Oooh!!! Nice!!! So chuffed for you!!

And keep talking about more!!! It's brilliant to see your progress!!!

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Paula (13-10-19)

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## Angie

I like those x 

And yup keep talking 
So proud of you sweetie xx

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Paula (13-10-19)

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## Suzi

Oh wow! Those are awesome! You're in heels? Already? Wow! 
I am so proud of you! This is such an inspirational journey.

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Angie (13-10-19)

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## Paula

I know! Heels! Me!  :(party):

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## Suzi

Are they an "aim to walk in" or a "I can walk in them now" purchase?

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## Paula

Theyre an, I can walk-in them, just not too far  :O:

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## Angie

Yay xx

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## Jaquaia

You're awesome!

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## Suzi

> They’re an, I can walk-in them, just not too far


OMG That's amazing!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't be more pleased or prouder of you!

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## Paula

Am very worried. Polo came back from his walk with the dog walker and his back legs collapsed. It took both of us to get him into Katies bedroom (on the ground floor). So Im sitting on her bed, keeping him company  :=(:

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## Jaquaia

Bless him! Vets?  :Panda:

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## Angie

Oh sweetie, is Si home to help you or take him to vets with you?

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## Paula

> Oh sweetie, is Si home to help you or take him to vets with you?


No, but the dog walker has said to call if I need help




> Bless him! Vets?


Not atm. Were going to see how today goes. Si said he slipped going upstairs this morning so he may just be a bit sore. I hope......

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## Jarre

:(:  bless give him a cuddle from me

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## Suzi

Oh no! Poor Polo! Are you OK?

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## Jaquaia

Possibly! Fingers crossed he feels better soon. Lots of cuddles will help you both  :Panda:

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## Paula

Im ok. Katies bed is not comfortable to sit on, mind you :/

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## Angie

Oh sweetheart, can you leave him quiet on his own for a little while do you think? I hope he feels better quickly xx

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## Paula

I might in a bit, he seems more comfortable. Truth is, Im beginning to think were going to lose him by the arthritis rather than the kidney failure - hes struggling more and more

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## OldMike

Poor Polo  :(bear):   :Panda:

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## Angie

:(bear):  Oh sweetheart, might it be better to see the vet and what he says?

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## Jaquaia

Whatever happens lovely, he will spend the rest of his days surrounded by love and that is so, so important  :Panda:

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Angie (14-10-19)

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## Paula

I need to talk to Si, he's struggling with this

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## Angie

Take your time and both sit and talk sweetie xx

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## Angie

How are you doing sweetie xx

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## Paula

Ive got Polo upstairs. My back is frickin killing me

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## Jaquaia

You need to take it easy now. Pretty please?

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## Angie

Please rest now sweetie xx

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## Paula

I am, Ive been told to do so by Si.  Hes had a chance to have a proper conversation with me and apparently Polo fell down the stairs this morning .....

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## Angie

Am glad that you both talked and that your resting, aww poor Polo xx

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## Jaquaia

That would make a lot of sense

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## Paula

Jess had great news todays. As an underwriter obviously its imperative that she gets everything right. Today she passed the competency test and is now qualified to go alone!

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## Suzi

That's amazing! Well done Jess!!!

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## Angie

Brilliant sweetie well done Jess

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## Jaquaia

Well done Jess!

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## OldMike

Well done Jess  :):

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## Jaquaia

How is Polo doing today?

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## Paula

Hes quiet and not overly comfortable but were just letting him sleep

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## Angie

Bless him  :(bear):

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## Paula

Hmmm my friends poorly so my afternoon out has been cancelled. Ah well, frees up some cross stitch time  :):

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## OldMike

Cross stitch time woo hoo  :(party):

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## Angie

Hope your friend is better soon sweetie, an afternoon of cross stitch sounds good x

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## Suzi

How's the stitching going? 
How's Polo doing? 
Hope it's nothing horrible with your friend...

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## Paula

I unpicked more stitches than I createdbut thats sometimes just as therapeutic  :O: 
Polos ok, Si took him out for a very short walk to see how he was and he managed. But, tbh, I think the end is nearing
My friends just got the lurgy - shell be ok

----------


## Angie

As long as it helps sweetie.
Bless Polo sweetie xx 
Glad that your friend will be ok xx

----------


## Suzi

Sorry about Polo... It's so hard when you love them so much...

----------


## Paula

We had surprise guests last night. Katies boyfriends house flooded badly so they stayed the night. Which meant I got to spend some time with my baby girl  :(party): 

Im off to pick up my new glasses this morning but otherwise a quiet day

----------

OldMike (16-10-19)

----------


## Angie

Awww not good for Katie and her boyfriend hope its fixed quickely for them x

----------


## Suzi

Yay for guests and new glasses! Shame about the flooding - hope the damage isn't too bad.

----------


## Paula

Got new glasses, bought some shoes, paid a visit to Starbucks (where I used to go with my ex friend and havent visited since). Feeling pretty positive lol. Also, Sis going away for a Golf holiday next month and asked me if Id drive him to the airport. Thats the first time hes asked me to do a journey like that in years!

*And* Im picking up my new car next Friday 25th  :(party):

----------


## Strugglingmum

That all sounds amazing! ! You're awesome. Xx

----------

Paula (16-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

OMG! New shoes? So, you're flipping amazing huh? Go you!  :):  

Which airport? If it's near me, you can do a stop off here for coffee, biscuits and meet Crash, Moiya and Willow  :O:

----------


## Paula

I think Heathrow  :(think):  and Id love to if I can (no idea what time hes leaving)

And, yep, new shoes  :O:

----------


## Angie

Love the shoes, and Si asking you to do that shows how far you have come sweetie, be super proud of yourself xx

----------

Paula (16-10-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

The difference in you after this course is incredible! At the rate you're going, you'll be watching a show in the West End in no time!!! So proud of you

----------

Angie (16-10-19),Paula (16-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

Those shoes are so pretty.... Heathrow isn't far from me at all!!! Woohoo!  :):

----------

Angie (16-10-19),Paula (16-10-19)

----------


## Paula

Katies boyfriend saw protective mumma bear for the first time tonight. Yesterday, because a pipe under the shower came apart, a lot of water flooded the kitchen (katie was in the shower). We were expecting them to stay here until it was all safe (its rented) but apparently the landlord, whos a friend, has had people out and says its fine. Im sceptical re the electronics and I made it quite clear that, if my baby gets an electric shock, his life will not be worth living. I think hes now more worried than I am .....

----------

Suzi (16-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

Go you! Protective Mama Hi 5!

----------


## Paula

It seems to be a night for that lol

----------


## Angie

Hi 5 from me to I would be worried about the electrics

----------


## OldMike

Water and electrics don't mix though with modern RCD's things are safer than they used to be, leaks need to be sorted and the electrics checked.

High five protective mamma Bear  :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

It really does tonight...  :O:  

Mike's definitely right. Floods aren't worth messing about with...

----------


## Jarre

Plasterboard takes a while to dry out if it got wet and water does track along joists

----------


## Paula

Im really, really beyond exhausted today so am going to listen to my body and rest. All I have On today is having someone round to quote for a new front door.

----------


## Suzi

Must be something in the air, I'm struggling today too. I'm really impressed you're going to listen to your body and rest. You've done so much recently that you're going to need rest days, you know that...

----------


## Paula

I do know that. Yet another thing drummed into me in Bath (seriously, did you ring them up in advance and tell them what I needed to hear?  :(rofl):

----------


## Angie

:(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

> I do know that. Yet another thing drummed into me in Bath (seriously, did you ring them up in advance and tell them what I needed to hear?


I so wish I had! You could have had "Suzi's pearls of wisdom indoctrination" *insert evil laugh*

----------

OldMike (17-10-19)

----------


## Angie

:(giggle):

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope you've had a lovely easy day. X

----------

Paula (17-10-19)

----------


## OldMike

> I do know that. Yet another thing drummed into me in Bath (seriously, did you ring them up in advance and tell them what I needed to hear?


I think Suzi used her telepathic skills to influence what was happening in Bath  :(giggle):

----------

Suzi (18-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

I really did  :O:  

How are you Princess Sparkles?

----------


## Paula

Ive been for an ophthalmology appointment this morning. My optic nerves are a little more swollen thank they have been. Doctors not worried but will do a scan of the back of my eyes at my next appointment. Im seeing my neurologist in a few weeks so we may need to talk about my meds. Well see lol. Otherwise, Im fine - definitely less tired than yesterday  :):

----------


## Angie

Glad they're keeping an eye out for you xx

----------


## Suzi

Yay for resting yesterday and feeling brighter today! Well done for going for your eye test! You are awesome!

----------


## Paula

Having a bit of a flare in my knee. So Im trying to be sensible, using my stairlift and got my crutch out. And trying not to feel like Ive gone back a few steps

----------


## EJ

:(bear):  :(bear):  for Paula xx

----------

Paula (18-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

Definitely not steps backwards. It's a flare. It'll pass. You can do this. I'm glad you're not being stubborn and using the tools you have around you. Going backwards would mean giving in and you have never given into anything in the whole time I've met you. You have things around you to help you to keep going, so use them.... You're still going forwards.

----------

Paula (18-10-19),Strugglingmum (19-10-19)

----------


## Paula

Thank you  :Kiss: . Katie and her boyfriend visited for dinner. Then left.  I wish they would just make it official, I dont like being in limbo

----------


## Suzi

Make what official? 

How are you doing today?

----------


## OldMike

You mean official as in engaged, I think the modern way is not to make things official.

Definitely not a backwards step using a stair lift is only sensible, you're getting out and about and doing stuff, you're entitled to resting up and taking things easy occasionally  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

No, official as in shes moved in with him. I was expecting to one day have a conversation that went Im buying/renting somewhere and will be moving out so and so a time. This just feels like she went out the front door and never came home. All her stuff is still here but she isnt.

----------


## Suzi

Aww! That's tough...

----------


## Paula

First day of next drop in morphine and its already harder. Nausea, but craving junk food, dizzy, headache and agitated (though katie told me yesterday I was shaking more than usual)

----------


## Jaquaia

You're doing brilliantly lovely  :Panda: 

If it gets too difficult could you half the drop?

----------

Paula (21-10-19)

----------


## Paula

No, they are capsules not tablets of 10mg.

Ill be ok, its got to be done

----------


## Jaquaia

Do they do 5mg capsules? Might be worth checking

----------


## Suzi

Definitely ask for some 5mgs lovely. You need to put you first love, you need to rest and take time out if you need it...

----------


## Angie

What Jaq and Suzi said hunni x

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Paula

10mg is the smallest they do. Its going to hurt whenever I do this but I wont be stupid - if I need to pause the process, I will 

Tomorrows a rest day although Polos at the vets in the evening

----------

OldMike (22-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

How is the lovely Polo? 

How are you love?

----------


## Paula

Have been curled up in a ball with an upset stomach all morning. Only realised half hour ago that Id forgotten my meds this morning on top of the reduced morphine .......

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Angie

Aww sweetie  :(bear):

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Paula

Sis just picked up my repeats. No pregabalin till Friday and I run out today. Ive spoken to the surgery and they said that, as an electronic prescription, the chemist can release it into the cloud for another chemist to pick up. Sis working from home and has already said hell  run around for me, bless him. Im in so much pain that I think tomorrow will be another rest day - I know its my own fault though.

----------


## Angie

It happens sweetie dont beat yourself up am glad that your going to be resting tomorrow aswell, let us know how Polo gets one xx

----------


## Paula

Polos ok, obviously hes old and not well, but the vet thinks hes managing

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm so sorry you're feeling so rubbish. Glad you're resting.  Xx

----------


## Angie

I'm glad he is doing ok sweetie xx

----------


## Suzi

Good news about Polo, but hunni the fact you are in pain isn't a "fault" thing. 
Have you now got your pregabalin?

----------


## Paula

No, Ive got to deal with that tomorrow as I didnt find out til after the chemist closed. I cant do pregablin withdrawal on top of morphine withdrawal

----------


## Strugglingmum

No you definitely can't!!!
It's a horrible hiccup. 
You're doing so well.   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

This makes me even more determined to come off morphine - Im fed up of doing this

----------

Strugglingmum (22-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

Is Si working at home today? Can he get your pregabalin for you? 

Since they made it a control drug it's really messed everything up for me as it doesn't now come out with my normal prescription so I'm always out of sync and having to do a mad dash to the chemist as I've run out... I know it's been the same for a couple of other friends who are having similar issues... 
Hope you get yours sorted today lovely.

----------


## Paula

Just an update on the farce. Pharmacy cant release the prescription into the cloud as both CDs (morphine and Pregabalin) are on the same prescription and theyve already part fulfilled that prescription. Im waiting for a call back from my doctor in the hopes theyll issue a new prescription that I can pick up today. Ive not had my dose this morning. If that doesnt work, my best friend has said shell lend me a strip (shh dont tell anyone  :O: )

Edit, sorry Suzi, missed your comment - yes, Si is here to do any running around

----------


## Angie

Hope that you get it sorted sweetie xx

----------


## Jaquaia

That sounds ridiculous! Hope you get it sorted today lovely  :Panda:

----------


## EJ

I’m sorry you are going through this Paula. I’ve had similar restrictions put on my prescriptions. I’ve had to beg the doctors to release another prescription on time before I run out. I have decided in my case to split tablets or even take a lower dose so that the drug is still in my system. I don’t recommend any of this. Chasing them up just makes you angry and upset. If your friend is offering some of the pregabalin then I would take them.

----------

Suzi (23-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

I agree with Elizabeth... 

FWIW I could lend you a strip if you ever get stuck and need them....

----------

Paula (23-10-19)

----------


## OldMike

Life is difficult enough without the pharmacy/docs throwing spanners in the works re getting your meds  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Did you get it/something sorted?

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope you've got sorted huni. If a pharmacy can't fulfil all your prescription they should really tell you before they part dispense it.... give you the option of taking it elsewhere. 
So hope you get sorted. Xx

----------


## Paula

Ive got it sorted, sort of

----------


## Angie

Glad you got it sorted but sort of ?

----------


## Suzi

Sort of doesn't sound good....

----------


## Paula

Theyve given me the wrong morphine dosage. Its not a problem, as Im reducing the doctor has agreed to talk to me over the phone regularly to get the right doses sorted. Im actually seeing someone tomorrow as they want to go through my DVLA details with me but its not the doctor whos dealing with the morphine so Ill deal with that separately.

Im still feeling sick and ache everywhere but Im better than yesterday.

----------


## Angie

:(bear):  oh sweetie hope its sorted properly for you tomorrow xx

----------


## Paula

I received my discharge letter from Bath today.  No real surprises except I registered as being clinically depressed when we started the course, which I know shouldnt be a surprise but Ive gotten really good at faking those questionnaires over the years - for me to be even slightly on the radar means I was in a bad place without knowing it. The exit questionnaire was a lot better. A couple of people have said I look alive since Ive got back, maybe thats why

----------

OldMike (24-10-19)

----------


## Angie

That made me smile as going even though it was tough has been such a positive for you xx

----------


## Suzi

I'm so amazed by how you've taken on board everything you were told at Bath and you're really embracing the changes etc. You really are amazing.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope things are a bit easier today

----------


## Paula

> Hope things are a bit easier today


Ermmmmm lol. Withdrawal meant a really awful nights sleep. I had an appointment with the doctor this morning, had to pop into the opticians, then went to a Christmas workshop at church. I was supposed to be staying for lunch but I gave up and came home. And spent the whole afternoon asleep - woke up an hour ago .....

----------


## Strugglingmum

Good for you sleeping. You are amazing at this whole balance thing. 
But seriously hope you start to feel better with the proper meds and get your life back in rhythm.  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you listened to your body and rested....

----------


## Paula

My body was shouting at me  :O: 

Picking up my new car tomorrow  :(party):  though my old car still feels new to me...... anyway, was getting paperwork sorted and realised DVLA have my driving licence. Oops. Gov.uk do a view or share your driving licence information.  I really hope thats going to be good enough for the dealer. I never make things easy  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

I'm sure it'll be fine  :O:  OO new car day eve!  :):

----------


## Angie

It should be fine hunni

----------


## EJ

New car how exciting. What are you having Paula ?

----------


## Paula

A Focus Active estate  :):

----------

OldMike (25-10-19)

----------


## Paula



----------


## Jaquaia

Oooh nice!!!

----------


## Angie

Nice x

----------


## Suzi

That is SOOOO pretty!!!

----------


## OldMike

That's lovely, hot wheels for our fave Princess  :):

----------


## Paula

Im in love  :(inlove): . And its got every toy you could want, including a track option  :O:  oh, and heated seats ...... Si asked if he could take it out to play golf, I almost growled at him!

Ive been to yoga, which I enjoyed, but Im doing the irritable bit of withdrawal. So everyone in my house needs to watch out,I think

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Well done for making it To yoga despite the withdrawal and other meds hassle you've had this week. You're amazing and your new toy is lovely

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo! So glad you love your new wheels! 

It's amazing you made it to yoga. Are you still enjoying it?

----------


## Paula

Im loving yoga - she started out today saying she thought I felt I wasnt being pushed enough. I told her I never do feel Im being pushed enough in anything and that to expect pain but Id tell her when its too much for me  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Be careful you don't push yourself too hard - we all know what you're like lol.....

----------

Angie (26-10-19)

----------


## Paula

???? No idea what you mean  :O: 

On that note, I woke up at 8, had my breakfast and meds and fell asleep on the sofa til about half an hour ago.

----------


## Suzi

At least you remembered your meds?!  :):

----------


## Paula

:P:  well, Sis watching Halloween 2018 so Im sitting here trying very hard not to take any notice of whats going on. How do people watch these things??

----------


## Suzi

Lol, there are some I will and some I won't. I don't do anything with cl**ns or 8 legged things or dolls......

----------


## Angie

I'm the same as Suzi regarding cl**ns and sp***rs etc

----------


## OldMike

I'm not a lover of horror type movies, I've no problem with dolls even Chuckie  :O:  as far as 8 legged beasties I don't mind the short legged type it's those with long legs that creep me out.

----------


## Paula

Typical. We get an extra hour, I wake up at 5. Of course, I then doze til 9 but not enough that I actually feel I got enough sleep - just enough to be annoying

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Suzi

I sympathise! Hope you've been able to rest today...

----------


## Paula

Im cross stitching. Feels like I havent done any for ages. And katies coming over later  :):

----------


## Suzi

Both things sound lovely!

----------


## Angie

Sounds like a good day planned x

----------


## OldMike

> I’m cross stitching. Feels like I haven’t done any for ages. And katies coming over later


Woo hoo sounds like a plan.

----------


## Suzi

Has it been a good day lovely?

----------


## Paula

Its been ok, actually. And I went for a walk with Si and Polo, which was lovely  :): . 

My sleep is still a little bit off but all other symptoms of withdrawal have disappeared so I get a week of respite before the next drop. BUT, as I pointed out to Si this morning Im on 2/3 the dose I was on  :(party):

----------


## Suzi

Wow! That's massive! So pleased for you lovely. 
And you went out for a walk too? You using crutch?

----------


## Paula

Walking stick  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

You're doing brilliantly!!!

----------

Paula (28-10-19)

----------


## Angie

Your doing amazingly xx

----------

Paula (28-10-19)

----------


## OldMike

> Walking stick


That's brilliant, I hope the walking stick was blinged up as befits a princess  :O:

----------

Paula (28-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

> Walking stick


Hold on..... Before you went to Bath you were using an electric wheelchair, now you are using a walking stick? That's amazing!!!!

----------

Paula (28-10-19),Strugglingmum (28-10-19)

----------


## Paula

Just had a lovely evening with Katie watching Antiques Road Trip and Bake Off. I didnt want to let her go mind you  :O:

----------


## Suzi

That sounds fabulous! How long is she staying for?

----------


## Paula

Lol, shes already gone  :=(:

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! Sure she won't be long before she's back  :O:

----------


## Paula

Theyre staying here Friday night at least as weve got an early start going to IOW Saturday morning  :):

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo! Are you going for the day or staying longer?

----------


## Paula

For the day. With Katies boyfriend for the first time

----------


## Suzi

Wow, that sounds serious...

----------


## Paula

Well, I think in 5 weeks shes only spent one night at home - and Dom stayed too ....

----------


## Suzi

Do "we" like Dom or do we need to beat him up for going anywhere near Katie? I'm happy to help........ 

How are you doing love?

----------


## Paula

Si wants to beat him up. But thats just a dad response. I really like Dom, hes chatting and engages, hes actively asking Katie to meet family as he wants to know whos important in her life. Hes got a clear career path and has worked really hard to get to where he is (hell be a Field Sales Manager 1 December) even though he left school with no GCSEs.  Hes also a trained chef. Hes left home and rents (hes 22) and really seems to be switched on. He does suffer with anxiety, but Katie knows how to handle that, and hes a little clingy - but his last girlfriend really screwed him over so ..... His mums a highly functioning alcoholic but he seems to deal with that really well and doesnt let it impact his life. Katie said last night that they never argue, despite working and living together.

Im good apart from a little bunged up and tinnitus. I got a cheque in the post from Motability for £600 as a bonus for my old car going back in excellent condition - which more than pays for the advance payment I made to get my new car  :):  Ive had a surveyor round today as were getting a new front door - the old one is so ill fitting you can see daylight round the edges

----------


## Suzi

He sounds lovely! I don't think that qualifications make much of a difference - it's whether someone is intelligent enough for a good conversation!  :):  Sounds like you approve? 
Yay for the payment! We have a new to us front door we are going to fit, but got to wait till we've sorted the bathroom and decorated the hall, stairs and landing.. It makes all the difference doesn't it?

----------

Paula (30-10-19)

----------


## Paula

Little bit of a flare up tonight. Ive not been 100% today but went out to see my friend (shes a teacher so half terms and school holidays are the only chance I get to see her). I cancelled housegroup as my whole body aches and, even though Sis been awesome and doing everything - despite spending the day driving for a one hour grievance meeting with someone whos claiming shes been racially discriminated against - my knee is now protesting so much I couldnt walk and had to send Si to get my crutch.

----------


## Jaquaia

I hope tomorrow is a rest day?

----------


## Paula

Sort of. Ive got to pay that cheque in but that wont take long. Im then having my nails done and my hair cut and coloured. So, not doing nothing but at least being pampered. And I just realised I sound like such a suburban housewife  :(giggle):

----------


## Jaquaia

:(giggle): 

Pampering is good!!!

----------


## Angie

Pampering is definately good try and rest after though sweetie xx

----------


## Suzi

Sounds fab!

I dyed my hair today, banished the horrific greyness! Please try to get some rest today lovely...

----------


## Paula

Its definitely a crutch and stair lift kind of day. Im not going to stress about it and just use the tools I have

Wow! That feels like a really grown up thing to say  :O:

----------

OldMike (31-10-19)

----------


## Angie

I'm glad that your using the tools you have and at times need sweetie x

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

You know as well as I do that it takes a huge amount of strength to actually accept help - whether that's from another person or the tools you have or pacing......

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## OldMike

> It’s definitely a crutch and stair lift kind of day. I’m not going to stress about it and just use the tools I have
> 
> Wow! That feels like a really grown up thing to say


Definitely use your stair lift that way you're saving spoons to use on more interesting stuff.

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

I am so proud of you

----------

Angie (31-10-19),Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Paula

Not a great afternoon. It all sounds ridiculous but.

Mum rang to say that there were going to be winds of 50mph on Saturday which means we probably cant go and see them as the ferry crossing will be horrible. Then Si rang to say that theres signal failures at Basingstoke station so his train is going back to Woking and could I pick him up from there. I panicked because a) I get light halos which makes driving at night exhausting, b) morphine reduction is making my eyes blurry today and c) Ive never been to Woking and I was terrified of driving there on my own at night. So, I suggested he call Katie who at least would have Dom with her. Next thing I get a call from Jess to say she was going, it was ok cos she had her sat nav and shed see me in a couple of hours. (Apparently Katie was out with friends). So my 18 yo is going off in her shoe of a car (Fiat 500) with no idea where shes going, to do what I didnt have the guts to do

----------


## Angie

Ok deep breaths sweetie, its not a case of not having the guts, you have guts in spades, I know you will be worried about Jess but sweetie she should be ok she is a sensible girl x

----------

Paula (31-10-19),Suzi (31-10-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

It doesn't sound like you suggested he ask Katie purely because you were scared so I'm not convinced guts really comes into it. Don't be so hard on yourself

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Suzi

You have more guts than so many I know..... Woking is near me! I'd have gone to get him and if needs be driven him down to you!

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Paula

I love you lot!

----------


## Suzi

We kinda attached to you too you daft h'apeth

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

You're not too bad yourself  :Kiss:

----------

Paula (31-10-19)

----------


## Paula

All home now, it was a bit of a saga as Jess run down the battery keeping warm while waiting for Si, so the car wouldnt start. But theyre home, Ive managed to get to my hair appt and everybody's, well, grumpy lol

----------


## Angie

Opps but she got there sweetie and they are home safe x

----------


## Paula

All of this has not been helped as its a year today since we lost Luna, so were all a bit on edge.

Sorry, I feel like Im being a real misery

----------


## Jaquaia

Don't be daft you narna! Of course the anniversary is going to bother you all, she was family!  :Panda:

----------

Paula (01-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

So sorry, I hadn't clocked the date and the anniversary....  :(bear):  :(bear):  :(bear):  No wonder you struggled a bit....

----------

Paula (01-11-19)

----------


## Angie

Oh sweetie I didn't click the date either xx

----------

Paula (01-11-19)

----------


## Paula

Thank you.

Ive spoken to the ferry company who have said that, as the ferry is big, the crossing tomorrow shouldnt be too bad. So Im hoping Si and the girls will agree to go. I think we all need to have some family time

----------

OldMike (01-11-19)

----------


## OldMike

> Not a great afternoon. It all sounds ridiculous but.
> 
> Mum rang to say that there were going to be winds of 50mph on Saturday which means we probably cant go and see them as the ferry crossing will be horrible. Then Si rang to say that theres signal failures at Basingstoke station so his train is going back to Woking and could I pick him up from there. I panicked because a) I get light halos which makes driving at night exhausting, b) morphine reduction is making my eyes blurry today and c) Ive never been to Woking and I was terrified of driving there on my own at night. So, I suggested he call Katie who at least would have Dom with her. Next thing I get a call from Jess to say she was going, it was ok cos she had her sat nav and shed see me in a couple of hours. (Apparently Katie was out with friends). So my 18 yo is going off in her shoe of a car (Fiat 500) with no idea where shes going, to do what I didnt have the guts to do


Guts have nothing to do with it if you suffer from halos caused by lights in the night going out unless absolutely necessary is only sensible, my dad had trouble driving at night because of the lights of oncoming traffic. Nothing wrong with Fiat 500's, props for Jess that girl is made of stern stuff as befits the daughter of a princess.




> We kinda attached to you too you daft h'apeth


That's the sort of reet gradely expression we use oop north are you sure Suzi you're not a northerner in disguise  :(giggle):

----------

Paula (01-11-19)

----------


## Paula

So, were not going to IOW. Im gutted but therell be another time

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

No Mike - it's also a down south thing  :O:  It used to be one of my Dad's sayings... 

Paula - I'm sorry you aren't going, but you have to be safe rather than sorry love....

----------


## Paula

Yeah,  I know

----------


## Suzi

Doesn't stop you from being gutted about it though... Can you do something different but still nice? Go for dinner and a movie or something?

----------


## Paula

Were still having family movie night and pizza (though Si and Jess are still insisting on The Ring *shudders*. Im hoping that well watch Twitches first then Si will fall asleep  :O:

----------


## Angie

Lol regardless of what you watch enjoy your night sweetie xx

----------


## Suzi

I haven't seen Twitches or The ring.....

----------


## Strugglingmum

Enjoy your family time. X

----------


## Flo

Here's hoping you're having a wonderful time with mum and dad! :(bear):

----------


## Paula

Ah no, Flo, we had to cancel because of the weather - no one fancied being on a ferry in 50mph winds .....

I know Ive said it before, but my Jess is awesome! We watched Twitches then Si put the Ring on. After 10 minutes, Jess commented that she didnt want to watch a film where nothing happened except teenage girls being scared and screaming. That she much preferred Twitches where girls got together and kicked the evils ass!

----------

OldMike (02-11-19),Suzi (02-11-19)

----------


## Paula

Ah, damnit. My heatings not working. And, although Im on the vulnerable list, they cant prioritise us because the hot water is working. So no ones coming out til Friday .....

----------


## Jaquaia

Well that's a bit  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: !!! I always thought you could be prioritised for either? The council prioritised my mum even though we had an alternative source of hot water.

----------


## Paula

Its not the council, its the energy company. I dont know if that makes a difference

----------


## Jaquaia

I assumed it would be the same everywhere but I must be wrong

----------


## Suzi

Are they providing you with alternative heating?

----------


## Paula

We were allowed up to £50 to get a heater. Good job we had a couple already - but they cost so much to run, and its a big house to heat

----------


## Suzi

Lol, see I'd take to their FB page too  :O:  Amazingly how quickly things happen if it's splashed all over FB + Twitter lol

----------

Paula (03-11-19)

----------


## Paula

We cant, its British Gas aka a sister company of Hive, who Si works for ......

----------


## OldMike

Hive control your heating from your phone as the advert says and they can't get it sorted until Friday and you're a priority customer, arghhhhh that is so NOT right. I feel your pain or rather your cold, not surprised you're a bit miffed.  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh that makes things a bit more awkward.....

----------


## Paula

Today has been the first day of another morphine reduction. So, would you all please remind me, over the next week, that theres a good reason why Im struggling ...... ftr, Im taking 30mg as of today - I started at 60mg  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

You're amazing!

----------


## OldMike

That's brilliant Paula, you've halved the morphine dose, you may be struggling with the reduction but you're a fighter and are slowly getting there.  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Not feeling it right now ......

----------


## Jaquaia

You won't. Opioid reduction is hard. But I am so proud of you

----------

Paula (04-11-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

That's a huge drop in such a short space of time. I know you want to get off it, but are you being a bit harsh?

----------


## Paula

Im doing exactly what I agreed with my GP, 10mg every 2 weeks. 10mg is the lowest dose Zomorph comes in

----------


## Suzi

Fair enough.... I think you're some kind of superwoman though  :O:  


How are you feeling today lovely?

----------


## Jaquaia

My mums was a 10mg drop every 2 weeks now I think about it. But the 2 weeks isn't rigid lovely, take longer if you need to.

----------


## Paula

> My mums was a 10mg drop every 2 weeks now I think about it. But the 2 weeks isn't rigid lovely, take longer if you need to.


I will, I promised my GP I would. The pattern so far has been the first week is rough but Symptoms are minimal the second week so Ill keep doing it on that time frame as long as that stays the pattern. Though this morning I feel ok

----------


## Suzi

I can't believe you've been out from Bath long enough to have dropped it by half already!

You are an inspiration!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Youre doing fab. X

----------


## Paula

> You are an inspiration!


No, Im not, Im just trying my best to make life better

----------


## Jaquaia

Yeah you are so suck it up buttercup

----------

OldMike (06-11-19),Suzi (06-11-19)

----------


## Paula

:(rofl): :p

----------


## Mira

I have to agree with Suzi on this one. I can only say what I think and to me you are truly an inspiration.

----------

Jaquaia (05-11-19),Paula (05-11-19),Suzi (06-11-19)

----------


## Angie

I'm another that agrees xx

----------


## Suzi

How are you today?

----------


## OldMike

Gotta agree our very own Princess is _inspirational_  :Panda:

----------

Paula (06-11-19)

----------


## Paula

Tired, I didnt wake up til 10 and have been dozing ever since. Sis working from home so hes suggested a walk later on. My eyes are really blurry too but im definitely loads better than I was after the previous drop

----------


## Suzi

Glad you're dozing and you are managing to do things still...

----------


## Paula

Sis birthday tomorrow (49) so Im waiting til Im sure hes asleep so I can put the decorations up  :O:

----------


## Mira

Thats so sweet. He will love it  :):

----------

Paula (06-11-19)

----------


## Angie

Happy birthday to Si, hope he and you all have a great day sweetie x

----------

Paula (07-11-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

Happy birthday Mr Paula!!!  :(party):

----------

Paula (07-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Happy birthday Mr Princess Sparkles!  :):

----------

Paula (07-11-19)

----------


## OldMike

Princess Sparkles say Happy B'Day to Prince Sparkles from me  :(party):

----------

Paula (07-11-19)

----------


## Paula

Jess is taking us out for a curry for lunch and tomorrow evening were off to Las Iguanas with Jess, Katie and Dom  :(party): . He loved his presents too so all is good with the world!

----------

OldMike (07-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

That sounds lovely! Lots of noms!  :):

----------


## Mira

Awesome! Gives me a smile all the way here in Holland  :):

----------

Paula (07-11-19)

----------


## EJ

Happy Birthday to Si. He’s a lot younger than Mr H xx

----------

Paula (07-11-19)

----------


## Flo

Happy Birthday Si!!!......blimey, I wish I was only 49!!!! :(wasntme):

----------

Paula (07-11-19)

----------


## Paula

Hes had a lovely day, I think. Lunch was scrummy, Katie came over for a few hours after work, we had cake and a glass of bubbly  :): 

We still dont have heating - engineers out tomorrow afternoon, which means I have to miss yoga.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sorry about yoga, I know you enjoy it, but hurray for heating engineers.

----------


## Paula

Absolutely!

----------


## Suzi

Hope the engineers are in and out quickly (ooo er!) and get it sorted fast.

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## OldMike

> Hope the engineers are in and out quickly (ooo er!) and get it sorted fast.


*snickers like a little schoolboy*

Hope the heating is soon sorted  :):

----------


## Paula

Absolutely  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: ing furious! As if coming off morphine wasnt tough enough! Asked for a triage call from my GP this morning as Id been told to check in every couple of weeks to update them on how I was doing. It wasnt my GP who called me back and, when I explained what I was doing and then, sensibly I thought, asked for a prescription at the same time (as Im only getting them every fortnight atm), told me off for wasting his time asking for repeats over the phone! I was mortified  :@:

----------


## Mira

Rightly so. What a horrible way to talk to someone. Even worse when you are doing the exact thing they wanted you to do. Is this something you could bring up with your GP?

----------


## Angie

I would be ringing back and speaking to the practice manager, he has no right to speak to you like that

----------


## Jaquaia

I would report them! How dare they!!!

----------


## Paula

I was going to but then realised its much better for me not to hold on to my anger. I just will make sure I dont talk to him next time

----------

Angie (08-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

What a horrible thing for you to have to go through! Not exactly making things easier for you then? Git! What did Si say when you told him?

----------


## Paula

He was cross lol

Still no sign of the heating engineer

----------


## Angie

I would be chasing them up now sweetie xx

----------


## magie06

Have you heat yet?

----------


## Suzi

Anything yet?

----------


## Paula

Si got a call at 4pm to say they werent coming as theyd had too many emergencies. They tried to make an appointment for next week so he kicked up a fuss and said we were supposed to be a priority - and theyre coming tomorrow. I realised this afternoon that having the dusty electric fire on (we never use it) is playing my asthma up.

Still, we went out (in town, 2 for 1 cocktails!) for a meal with the girls and the boyfriend. Katie and Dom paid - were loving having grown up kids who pay for us  :O: . Katies coming on Sunday to get the rest of her stuff and her chest of drawers.

----------


## Paula

WE HAVE HEATING !!!!!!!!!!  :(party):

----------

Suzi (09-11-19)

----------


## OldMike

> Si got a call at 4pm to say they weren’t coming as they’d had too many emergencies. They tried to make an appointment for next week so he kicked up a fuss and said we were supposed to be a priority - and they’re coming tomorrow. I realised this afternoon that having the dusty electric fire on (we never use it) is playing my asthma up.
> 
> Still, we went out (in town, 2 for 1 cocktails!) for a meal with the girls and the boyfriend. Katie and Dom paid - we’re loving having grown up kids who pay for us . Katie’s coming on Sunday to get the rest of her stuff and her chest of drawers.


Aren't you an emergency it's nearly a week without heating what can be more than an emergency than that (apart from a gas leak)

Update:
Whoop you now have heating  :(party):

----------

Paula (09-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo for heating! And for 2 for 1 cocktails! 

Is having the heating back helping?

----------


## Mira

How awesome is it that the heating is back. I hope it was something minor and not a huge repair on costs. But with how cold it is its great to have the heat back  :):

----------


## Suzi

I blame you Princess Sparkles my heating isn't working. The first day we've tried to put it on and we have none  :(:  Currently waiting for someone to call us back lol.....

----------


## Paula

Oh no, Suzi  :(: 

Mike - apparently Im not a priority because my hot water was working
Mira - we have a service contract and it covered the repairs
Suzi- still a bit breathless but better

----------


## Suzi

Are you pacing today?

----------


## Paula

Yeah. Im listening to the beautiful south and going to read Andrew Ridgeleys autobiography

----------


## Angie

Glad that the heating is working sweetie xx

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like a lovely way to spend some time!

----------


## Paula

Ive read the whole book today. It covers from the day he met George up to the end of Wham! and a chapter on Georges death. Im in absolute bits  :(: . Its a fantastic book, though

----------

OldMike (10-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Aww that sounds so emotional....

----------


## Paula

So, we ordered a sofa bed for Katies room yesterday. She really has left home  :=(:

----------


## magie06

Hugs baby. It's so difficult, but if we didn't do our job properly, they wouldn't become independent enough to even consider it. You've done a great job there!  :(bear):  :(bear):

----------

Paula (11-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Aww  :(bear):  :(bear):  :(bear):  You've done such a great job raising her into a strong and independent woman. You're epic.

----------

Paula (11-11-19)

----------


## Paula

Not feeling very well, listless, sore throat, headache ......

----------


## OldMike

Paula hope you're feeling better soon.  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Thats to bad. Is there something nice you can do for yourself? I am with Mike. I hope you feel better soon.

----------


## Angie

:(bear):  please pace sweetie.
No matter where Katie lives she will always be your baby, you have brought up a wonderful young women x

----------

Paula (11-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

> Not feeling very well, listless, sore throat, headache ......


Could that partly be because Katie's moved out? Are you drinking enough? Could your body be catching up with the Morphine reduction? Hope you feel better soon lovely.

----------


## Paula

I think Ive got a bug. Im drinking loads. Ill live

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):  Take care and rest.....

----------


## Paula

I ache. Everywhere ...... trying to get the motivation to have a shower

----------


## Jaquaia

Sounds like you need a lot of rest!

----------


## Mira

Sounds like it yes. And I hope you manage a shower. Thats a nice treat when you feel this way. Sending a big hug your way  :Panda:

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Suzi

I agree, sounds like you need to rest....

----------


## Paula

Managed a shower. Have eaten and had meds. And thats it for today

----------


## Angie

Sweetheart don't blame you at all there, please just rest the for the rest of the day xx

----------


## Suzi

I'm so glad you're putting self care as important today.

----------


## Mira

I guess the post you made on my thread is just as important for you and many others here. You are loved by your family. By the people here. So self love is next  :):

----------

Paula (12-11-19),Suzi (12-11-19)

----------


## Mira

How are you feeling now?

----------


## Paula

Pretty rubbish. Ive just had a hot chocolate and will be off to bed soon

----------


## Jaquaia

Bed sounds like the best place for you  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

How are you today Sparkles?

----------


## Angie

Good morning sweetie, how are you feeling today? xx

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Not great. Suzi, Si agrees with you that its withdrawal - which doesnt make sense as I last dropped dose the beginning of last week. But the full body ache does feel like it. I was supposed to meet my friend today but Ive cancelled. Si is off for a golf holiday tomorrow through to Sunday so I hope I recover quickly

----------


## Mira

But if its withdrawal then there is nothing you can do about it?

----------


## Suzi

Thing is withdrawal doesn't only hit you as you do it, but the effects can come like waves after - think about it. You've been taking morphine for a while, although it's an instant thing it does stay in your system a while too....

----------

OldMike (13-11-19)

----------


## Paula

> Thing is withdrawal doesn't only hit you as you do it, but the effects can come like waves after - think about it. You've been taking morphine for a while, although it's an instant thing it does stay in your system a while too....


Im starting to get that now. I feel a bit better this afternoon so hopefully things will be better tomorrow




> But if its withdrawal then there is nothing you can do about it?


Not a thing - just rest

----------


## Mira

I do hope that it will be a bit better tomorrow. For you ofcourse. But I guess Si is not happy going away when you feel this way?

----------


## Suzi

Is Si still going away? Have you been resting?

----------


## Paula

Yes, hes going away - Ill be fine. Yes, Ive been resting and am feeling better. And Ive decided to delay my next reduction for another week

----------


## Suzi

I know that's a tough decision to make, but I think it sounds like the most sensible one for now... I'm proud of you. 

What'cha up to today?

----------


## Paula

Seeing a friend (and her puppy) later. Im feeling better than I have, thankfully  :O:

----------


## OldMike

> Yes, he’s going away - I’ll be fine. Yes, I’ve been resting and am feeling better. And I’ve decided to delay my next reduction for another week


That sounds sensible.  :(bear):   :Panda: 

Have fun with your friend and her puppy  :):

----------


## Suzi

So glad you're feeling at least a tiny bit better! Enjoy time with your friend and puppy love!

----------


## Mira

Lets hope it keeps getting better and better. Have a good time today.

----------


## Paula

Im exhausted. But it was a lovely afternoon.

----------

OldMike (14-11-19)

----------


## Angie

Glad that you have had a good time and are feeling that bit better sweetie, please plan some rest time x

----------


## Mira

Being exhausted can be fixed with a break  :):  do take it easy tonight. I am happy your afternoon was lovely. You deserved it.

----------


## Jaquaia

Glad it was a lovely afternoon. Rest now  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Rest then please?

----------


## Paula

Jess took one look at me and went out for McDonalds (and paid!). And katie came over. So a nice evening but I am struggling. Ive got yoga tomorrow but Im going to ask her to be gentle with me - I want to got as I think the relaxation will help me

----------


## Mira

They both are awesome. How nice of them.

That is a good idea. Going to do yoga but doing it gentle. Its a great way of selfcare. I hope you will wake up feeling better as well.

----------


## Suzi

You've done a good job raising your babies..How kind of them to be looking after you!

Hope today is a rest day.

----------


## Angie

Hope yoga goes well and that you rest today aswell xx

----------


## Paula

Im doing stuff today, but at a pace I can cope with. Im taking time to listen to all the videos posted recently as music soothes my soul  :):  See - self care  :O:

----------

OldMike (15-11-19)

----------


## Angie

I'm glad that your pacing sweetie xx

----------


## Suzi

Music is awesome. Glad you're pacing love.

----------


## Paula

Had yoga session, and we took it gently - all either on the chair or on the floor. Now its coffee time and Pudsey Bargain Hunt  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Well done for taking it gently. Pudsey BH made me smile!

----------


## Paula

Im all emotional. Just had a call from Katie - Jess texted her to say that she had a work thing after work today so could Katie pop over as Jess didnt want me on my own all day ......  :):

----------


## Angie

Awwww bless Jess, you have two wonderful young women x

----------


## Jaquaia

Not surprising they're so awesome with you as their mum!

----------


## OldMike

That's so nice of Jess, Paula you seem to have cracked this pacing thing.  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

They're so awesome! Just like you!

----------


## Mira

Thats so so sweet. Shows how much they care and love you. You are the best.

----------


## Paula

Ive always known how strong, feisty and independent Jess is, and am so proud of her. But its only recently that shes started showing me love and affection. Its overwhelming in a very good way :):

----------

Strugglingmum (15-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Then bask in it and enjoy every second of it!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Special. Xx

----------


## Paula

> Then bask in it and enjoy every second of it!


Oh I am  :): 

I cooked dinner for her and me today and she didnt complain!

----------

Suzi (15-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Poor thing! What did she do to deserve that torture...  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Jaquaia

:(giggle):

----------


## Paula

> Poor thing! What did she do to deserve that torture...


Bless her, shes got 2 more nights of my cooking until Si gets back  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Darling, there's nothing wrong with saving her from that and just ordering in.....

----------

Strugglingmum (15-11-19)

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Angie

:(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

How's you this morning love? Did Jess survive the shock of your cooking?

----------


## Paula

lol yes, she even ate half of it  :(rofl): .

Today I shall mainly be cross stitching (when I can be bothered to get dressed). Katies coming over this afternoon to walk the dog and staying to watch Strictly (Blackpool :(party): ) with me

----------


## Angie

:(rofl): 
Sounds like a good day is planned.

----------


## Suzi

I think it's a testament to how awesome you are that your girls are wanting to spend time with you! They aren't doing it because they feel they have to, but because they want to... That's huge. 

I'm glad you're pacing today.

----------

Angie (16-11-19),Paula (16-11-19)

----------


## OldMike

I'm sure your cooking is spiffing Paula so less of the modesty  :):

----------


## Paula

Hahaha Mike, no my cooking is not spiffing. Im an absolutely appalling cook  :(rofl): . Thankfully, I rarely get asked to do it now (in fact Katie took over duties tonight). I have actually burnt peas before ......

----------


## Jaquaia

My brother burnt fish fingers before...

That were still frozen on the inside...

----------


## Paula

I salute him!

----------


## Suzi

I may take the proverbial, but until Marc had his breakdown I was a horrific cook. One of the first birthday's Marc and I were together I decided that as we had no money, I'd combine his favourite things and make him dinner. So I knew he liked madras, but we couldn't afford chicken, so he had a fishfinger madras, then a chocolate button trifle for pudding! HE still talks about it now, around 20 years later..... 

Well done though, it means you don't have to cook as often!

----------

Paula (16-11-19),Strugglingmum (16-11-19)

----------


## OldMike

*holds hand up* I've burnt peas before today I suppose I should say they were barbecued  peas.

----------


## Suzi

Morning love, how are you today?

----------


## Paula

Im ok. Jess took Polo out without being nagged, Sis home tonight  :(party):  and Im binge watching The Crown

----------

OldMike (17-11-19)

----------


## Angie

Sounds like a good day planned sweetie x

----------


## Suzi

Sounds awesome!  :):

----------


## Paula

Im jittery tonight. Katie and Jess are both driving (in two cars) to pick Si, Katies dad and their friend up from Gatwick. So both my babies are on their way round the M25, in the dark, with no real clue where theyre going. And Jess is in a Fiat 500 so basically a tin can. Ive told them all that I thought it was a bad idea, just to be told I was overreacting. They got a taxi there, why the hell couldnt they get a taxi back?

----------


## Paula

Theyve arrived at Gatwick and Im stupidly in tears with relief

----------


## Mira

Thats not stupid at all. You are a living mum that cares about all of them greatly. So its not stupid  :Panda:

----------

Paula (18-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

You should have said! I'd have been a stop off point if they needed it, we're literally just inside the M25! Well done Girls. You've raised some strong independent women there! Definitely not stupid at all!

----------


## Angie

Well done to the girls, not stupid at all sweetie they are your babies you will naturally worry about them, as they drive to more places etc over time you will relax a bit xx

----------


## Suzi

Did Si have a good time? Is it good to have him home?

----------


## Paula

He had a lovely time. Its so lovely to have him home  :):

----------


## Angie

Glad he enjoyed it hunni xx

----------


## Suzi

Aww!! Glad he had a good time... 

How's you today lovely? Are you reducing again this week?

----------


## Paula

No, I decided to delay it a week after not doing great last week. I do feel fine so I was toying with reducing today but decided my body probably needed a break

----------


## Mira

Sounds like a good idea. Give some time to adjust and level off a little bit.

It is great to hear you feel fine. I am going to keep my fingers crossed it will last.

----------

Paula (18-11-19)

----------


## OldMike

> No, I decided to delay it a week after not doing great last week. I do feel fine so I was toying with reducing today but decided my body probably needed a break


That's probably sensible Paula  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

> No, I decided to delay it a week after not doing great last week. I do feel fine so I was toying with reducing today but decided my body probably needed a break


Blimey love - you listening to your body? That's about time....

----------


## Paula

:(giggle):  maybe  :O:

----------


## Suzi

How has your day been? How are you feeling?

----------


## Paula

Ive been cross stitching. I can see the final line  :O: . Im ok, very tired and am dozing off if I do nothing for more than a couple of minutes, so Im keeping busy

----------


## Mira

Is there a reason you do not want to have a small power nap?

----------


## Paula

Because one big symptom of my deteriorating mental health is me sleeping excessively during the day. So, unless I really do need it, I avoid power naps

----------


## Mira

Ok, I did not know that. If you mentioned it before I am, sorry I did not notice. 

I do understand. I have the same. I can sleep and sleep. And most of the time its not a good idea for me either. But when I am feeling stressed or nervous Sometimes it helps to snooze. 

Do you try to sleep on fixed times? I found that it helped me a great deal to have the same times for bed and waking up.

----------


## Paula

Theres no reason at all why you should know that  :O: 

I sleep well and deeply at night, so I have no need to sleep during the day. I just need to remind myself of that sometimes lol

----------


## OldMike

Sleeping during the day is a sign of old age so Paula that won't apply to you for many, many, many years  :):

----------


## Suzi

You're amazing.

----------

Paula (19-11-19)

----------


## Paula

> Sleeping during the day is a sign of old age so Paula that won't apply to you for many, many, many years


 :(rofl):

----------


## Mira

How are things today?

----------


## Paula

Im good, thanks  :):

----------


## Angie

Glad that your doing ok sweetie, have you anything planned for today ? xx

----------


## Suzi

What's on the plan for the rest of the week?

----------


## Paula

> What's on the plan for the rest of the week?


Tomorrow is yoga and hair day  :): 

Today, the heating is broken again so I shall be mostly be waiting for British Gas and shivering ....


Oh, and Sunday were off to IOW  :(party):

----------


## magie06

You are so awesome. Enjoy your trip on Sunday. Are you cutting your hair, maybe putting a new colour in?? Pictures???

----------


## OldMike

Woo hoo Isle of Wight sounds brilliant  :(party): 

Heating NBG that's terrible  :(:

----------


## Angie

Hope that the heating is sorted, yay for the trip to IOW. What have you had done to your hair? and hope yoga went well xx

----------


## Paula

> You are so awesome. Enjoy your trip on Sunday. Are you cutting your hair, maybe putting a new colour in?? Pictures???


No pictures, Im just having normal colour and cut done  :O: 

HEATING IS FIXED  :(party):  but the boiler may need replacing soon  :(:

----------


## Angie

Awww hope the boiler lasts a bit longer for you sweetie its a pain when that happens x

----------


## Paula

Well, so far this month weve had to get the suspension fixed on Jesss car, a new washing machine and the front door is being replaced next week. So were just relieved we didnt need a new boiler today ....

----------


## Angie

Blimey xx

----------


## Paula

Yeah. I think Si is permanently hyperventilating  :O:

----------


## Angie

Awww bless him, but its not anything that hasn't had to be done xx

----------


## Suzi

Poor Si!  :):  So glad it's fixed and you're off to see your parents! Hooray!!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Glad you got heat again!!! 
So glad you're finally getting to IOM. Enjoy. X

----------


## Paula

> Awww bless him, but its not anything that hasn't had to be done xx


Seriously eaten into my shoe fund mind you  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):  Your poor shoe fund...

----------


## Mira

How are things for you now?

----------


## Paula

Good thanks, hun. My house is warm, I have a washing machine and Im off to see my parents tomorrow so, all in all, I cant complain  :O:

----------


## Suzi

That all sounds much better than it has been!

----------

Paula (23-11-19)

----------


## Paula

Well, were home! And had a lovely day.  And, what was truly incredible and had me beaming from ear to ear was that, for the first time in over 7 years, I walked on a beach and paddled in the sea  :):

----------

OldMike (25-11-19)

----------


## Mira

Thats brilliant. I am so happy you had a lovely day. And you were at the beach. Great picture. How was it to have the sea water on your feet?

----------


## Paula

It was wonderful!

----------


## Jaquaia

And only a stick too!!! You're awesome!!!

----------

Paula (24-11-19)

----------


## Angie

Awww thats brilliant sweetie xxx

----------

Paula (25-11-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

You are amazing. I'm so proud of how far you have come.

----------

Paula (25-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

OMG you've made me cry buckets! I'm properly weeping at the joy in that photo! I know how it made me feel when I did it with Eva, but look at you with just a stick! You are AMAZING! *sniff*

----------

Paula (25-11-19)

----------


## Paula

:):  my mum took the photo and sent it to me with the caption just loved seeing your joy!

----------

Strugglingmum (25-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

It's such an amazing picture. Something I bet you didn't think you'd ever be doing again? Bath really has been fabulous for you.

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Tired, sore, using the stairlift. But it was totally worth it. So, Ive got the chores I need to do out of the way already and will spend the rest of the day chilling and cross stitching (Im so near the end I can taste it, which always motivates me)

----------

OldMike (25-11-19)

----------


## OldMike

Woo hoo must see this X stitch masterpiece, pics please  :): 

Edit:
Wow you must be brave paddling in the sea in this weather, glad you had a great time at the IOW  :(party):

----------


## magie06

Mike, I was thinking the exact same thing, paddling in the sea in November!!! You look amazing though and only a stick. I'm in the same camp as Suzi, my eyes leaked too. 
I'm proud of you hunny!

----------


## Suzi

I'm so proud of you for doing amazing things and also knowing when to use the aids you have. That's incredible!

----------


## Paula

Actually, the sea wasnt too cold!

----------


## Strugglingmum

I think that Photo would be fab printed and hung up somewhere to remind you how far you've come on days that are a bit tougher.

----------

Angie (25-11-19),Jaquaia (26-11-19),OldMike (26-11-19),Paula (25-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

I agree with SM!

----------


## Paula

Great minds! Ive ordered it as a wallet photo  :): 

In other news, withdrawal-ly type symptoms have started. Including itching all over my body. Fun ....

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  for the horrible symptoms... How many more drops do you have to go?

----------


## Paula

Today Ive started on 20mg from 60mg daily. Which means 2 more drops!

----------

OldMike (26-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

How you doing today love? You're amazing.

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:  Almost there, you're doing so well  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Im ok. Going to see Last Christmas with Katie tonight - cant wait, even if I feel rubbish  :O:

----------


## Mira

What a lovely thing to do. I do hope you will feel a bit better by then and that you Enjoy yourself. Sending a berenknuffel  :(bear):

----------

Paula (26-11-19)

----------


## Angie

Awww enjoy tonight sweetie xx

----------


## Suzi

Have a brilliant time!

----------


## magie06

Bring tissues, lots and lots and lots of tissues!!!

----------

Paula (26-11-19),Suzi (26-11-19)

----------


## Paula

> Bring tissues, lots and lots and lots of tissues!!!


Oh my word! You were so right, Katie and I both wept buckets!

----------


## Mira

Sounds like a good time. But I cry like crazy over movies do I might dit this one out.

----------


## Suzi

H wants to go and see it - I might have to take her so she cries too!

----------


## Paula

Eurgh, bad withdrawal day. Just going to have a duvet day, methinks

----------


## Mira

Oh that sounds rough. Let the duvet keep you warm and safe  :Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

I'm glad you're listening to your body  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

I'm proud of you for doing what your body needs. You're awesome.

----------


## magie06

Did you enjoy the movie, even though it made you cry? I loved it. 
Enjoy snuggling with your duvet.

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

> Did you enjoy the movie, even though it made you cry? I loved it. 
> Enjoy snuggling with your duvet.


I loved it! I thought Emilia Clarke was brilliant and has such a lovely voice  :): 

Still feeling rough. This is the first time (at a third of the original dose) that Ive noticed a significant increase in pain too, so thats not helping

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):  Is the pain cope-able with?

----------


## Paula

It has to be. Today its a struggle but thats coz Im generally feeling crap. Hopefully itll get easier

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):  You know that you're amazing - but I want to know that you're taking special care of you right now too....

----------


## Mira

Sending some berenknuffels to you too. Be both deserved them today  :(bear):

----------

Paula (28-11-19)

----------


## Paula

I completely crashed today and spent it on the sofa. My mood is very low too. Ive cancelled a catch up with my curate tomorrow and hope the rest will help

----------


## EJ

Sorry to hear this Paula. I hope today is better for you xx

----------


## Mira

I am hoping that you manage to sleep well. And that today is brighter for you  :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hoping today is easier for you. :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing hunni?

----------


## Paula

Not great but not horrendous either

----------


## Mira

Is that a little better then yesterday?

----------


## Paula

My heads not as fuzzy but my whole body aches - like Ive got flu

----------


## Mira

Thats good. That your head is not that fuzzy. But the rest sounds bad. Lets hope it clears faster then the flu.

----------

Paula (28-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Hooray for any tiny improvement.... Hope you're taking care of yourself...

----------


## Paula

> Hooray for any tiny improvement.... Hope you're taking care of yourself...


I am. Ive figured out this is not something where pushing through helps. A few quiet days deals with it better than ignoring my body.

----------


## Mira

Thats very good to know. Then you can respond in the best way possible. Time for self care and love. You can do that!

----------


## Suzi

I'm so proud of you. You really are so brilliant for listening to your body.

----------


## magie06

I hope you are snoozing somewhere warm and cosy.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope your day has been quiet and cosy and restful.  :Panda:

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Mira

How are you feeling today?

----------


## Suzi

Hey you, how's the new front door looking?

----------


## Paula

Oh its beautiful! And its not letting cold air in!

----------


## OldMike

> Oh it’s beautiful! And it’s not letting cold air in!


Woo hoo, oop north if someone leaves a door open it is customary to shout "Hey you livin' in a barn put wood in t'hole"  :(giggle):

----------


## Mira

In holland the expression when you come in and leave a door open is: Where you born in a church?

No idea where it comes from though.

----------


## magie06

We say "were you born in a hospital with swinging doors?"

----------


## Paula

Soooo, I got locked out. For 20 minutes. It was fing cold out there in my slippers!

----------


## Suzi

We say "Were you born in a barn?"

So.... are they sparkly slippers? How did you get locked out in your slippers in the first place? I assumed you were popping out properly lol

----------


## OldMike

> We say "Were you born in a barn?"
> 
> So.... are they sparkly slippers? How did you get locked out in your slippers in the first place? I assumed you were popping out properly lol


Of course they were sparkly slippers  :O: 

Getting locked out in this weather is no fun.

----------


## Paula

Lol, Suzi, I didnt want to make you laugh too hard  :O: 

I was in sparkly slippers, of course. Id popped out to take a picture of the door to send to my mum.....

----------


## Suzi

ROFL! So, you had your car keys and could hide in there? Or with a neighbour? Were you dressed or in pjs?

----------


## Paula

Hubby had the car, no neighbours (that I know) were in, I was dressed in a jumper and a skirt. It was frickin cold! Si rushed back from golf but I was out there 20 mins. I wouldnt mind, but it wasnt because Id done something wrong (for a change)!

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! I'm sorry for laughing earlier now....

----------


## Paula

Dont be - I did preface the information with do you want a laugh  :O:

----------


## Mira

I do hope you are nice and warm now. Just reading this made me feel cold.

----------


## Suzi

You did. Good. So I don't have to feel guilty!

----------


## Paula

> I do hope you are nice and warm now. Just reading this made me feel cold.


Ive been under a blanket for hours but,yes thank you, Im warm now  :O: 




> You did. Good. So I don't have to feel guilty!


Well......  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

Pfft, no guilt at all....

----------


## magie06

As we say here it was Baltic out there today. It was okay when you were moving but just to stand would chill your bones. I'm glad you got warm again.

----------

Paula (29-11-19)

----------


## Suzi

Morning Princess, how's you today? No more locking yourself out today I hope.....  :O:

----------


## Paula

Im not stepping outside the door. Maybe never  :O:

----------


## Suzi

So... How's your day been?

----------


## Paula

Katies been over (yay) to clear out her bedroom (boo). Otherwise, quiet. Tomorrow, however, is CHRISTMAS TREE DAY  :(party):

----------


## Mira

Is that a tradition in the UK? Getting the tree on the first of december? We here just go get one when we have time.

It must be a bit hard to have that room cleared out?

----------


## Paula

No, its just a tradition in our house  :O: 

Yes, its hard but Im getting used to it

----------


## Suzi

YAY! Christmas Tree day in our home too!  :):

----------


## OldMike

It's an Xmas tree free zone at Old Mike's Towers, They don't call me Lord Grinch for nothing  :O: 

May your tree stand erect and your balls not drop off and your lights twinkle like stars adorning a black velvet sky  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Morning gorgeous, how's you today? Happy Christmas Tree Day!

----------


## Paula

Happy Christmas tree day to you too  :(party): . Im ok, have been watching the new War of the Worlds. Its a different take but Im liking it

----------


## Suzi

We need to cath upon it in a bit  :O:

----------


## Mira

How have the past few days been for you?

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing lovely?

----------


## Paula

Im fine, ta. Have been pottering doing chores today (and cross stitch - Im sooo close to finishing it I can almost taste it). Tomorrow Ive got an appt with the Neurologist - Im hoping hell take me off the diuretics and discharge me but I doubt it as the eye doctor said my optic nerves are still a little swollen. Still, you never know

----------


## Suzi

OO good luck with that! 
How close to finishing are you?

----------


## Paula

Not far, Ive got just part of a small area left but its difficult to put a time frame on it as cross stitch is so labour intensive, as you know. But I believe that, if I could do a couple of solid hours every day, I should get it done in the next couple of weeks. But thats unlikely to happen. Im hoping I can get it done by Christmas

----------

OldMike (04-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

It never ceases to amaze me how long it takes! - Or it does me! 
Can you fit in an hour a day? Even in small parts?

----------


## Paula

Im going to try

----------


## Suzi

Morning Sparkles, how are you today?

----------


## Paula

Day started well...... shopping g was delivered last night but I didnt unpack it. My coffee wasnt in it and I only realised this morning. NO COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!! I might just go back to bed ......

----------


## OldMike

Oh no, no coffee the world is due to end  :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

Mike, its a serious issue ....  :P:

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! No coffee!!! Hope you've managed to get some!

----------


## EJ

I have instant and fresh ground so I don’t run out.

----------


## Paula

> I have instant and fresh ground so I dont run out.


Im a bit of a coffee snob and dont drink instant anymore  :O:  I can only have 2 cups a day so prefer it to be fresh ground


Ok, so my neurology appointment didnt go to plan. The dr decided to get an eye scan there and then and theres increased swelling again. Hes going to talk to his colleague but said its likely Ill have to increase my diuretic again.

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Mira

Does increasing your diuretec effect more things? I never heard of it. And when will you hear about it?

----------


## Suzi

I'm sorry gorgeous. I know it isn't what you wanted - but it is good that you're being looked after....

----------


## Paula

> Does increasing your diuretec effect more things? I never heard of it. And when will you hear about it?


It does but only because it increases the effects of another health problem I have. Ill get a letter in the post soon.

Ok, I may have understated my feelings. Im bitterly disappointed and emotional. The dr did tell me a long time ago that its a lifelong condition for most people but, as Id lost all the weight and I went into remission so quickly, I was sure Id beaten it. Now, Im probably going to have constant eye clinic and neurology input, the DVLA will never let me have a permanent driving licence and I could still be looking at a shunt in my future. And yes I know Im catastrophising but its just how Im feeling tonight

----------


## Jaquaia

That's completely understandable. Have you spoken to Si about it?  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Yeah, but theres not much he, or anyone, can say. It is what it is

----------


## Suzi

It is what it is, but you're allowed to be upset, angry, frustrated about it....

----------

Paula (04-12-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

^^^wss

----------


## Paula

I dont want to be, I want to be grown up and calm and measured about this. My asthmas been playing up since we didnt have heating and I just wanted at least one part of my body to work without medical intervention .......

----------


## Jaquaia

Being grown up is overrated! Your hair grows ok, there's one. Your nails are fab, two. Heart ok? Kidneys? Spleen? Various assorted organs? 

You're allowed to be disappointed and upset about this. I have no doubt that you being you, will pick yourself up and dust yourself down in a day or so. Until then, you're entitled to feel how you feel  :Panda:

----------

Paula (05-12-19),Suzi (05-12-19)

----------


## OldMike

I'm still wonder what it would be like to be grown up  :(giggle): 

Paula you've lots of bodily bits working correctly, I think we all wish our mental health was perfect and every bit of our bodies were perfect but this world is not like that, all you can do is make the best of what this world has dealt you.

Paula you're doing that supremely well, you've a formidable mental strength, stare adversity in the face and kick it in the nuts, you're a truly inspirational person.

And we all love and care for you  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------

Suzi (05-12-19)

----------


## Paula

:P:  I cant believe youre using my own bolstering techniques against me ...... but (grumbles) youre right and Im just going to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with it

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing now lovely?
You're fab... Feel upset, angry and frustrated and talk to us - you don't have to be OK about this today, let it sink in and give yourself time to process it properly...

----------


## Paula

The neurologist did make me chuckle, though, he was stunned at my improvement with walking and said that it gives hope to all doctors that miracles can happen. Him and Si went off at one point to get some paperwork and apparently that was all he wanted to talk about  :(giggle): . He also said (which was sweet) that, if anyone was going to have such a positive outcome, hes not surprised it was me as Ive got a great attitude

Im ok, really, and Im seeing my best friend later (and a Labrador/spaniel puppy called Isla) - which will be much needed therapy

----------


## Suzi

Ahhh, puppy therapy - best therapy out there! 
Glad you're doing something for self care today.

----------


## magie06

The others have put it very well. It's just being human that you're upset and angry about this diagnosis. But on the bright side, you're up, you're getting out and about and a cuddle with a puppy is just what this doctor ordered.

----------


## Paula

Thank you all  :):  I

----------


## Mira

I have been thinking of you and hope you are ok.

----------


## Paula

Im ok, I fell asleep on the sofa last night so Si sent me to bed at 8.30..... Im in pain today so Ive cancelled yoga but Im going to a Christmas concert at St Peters church in Winchester tonight where my friends singing - its sold out so she worked really hard to get an additional ticket at short notice so Si could accompany me, so Im absolutely going.

----------

OldMike (06-12-19)

----------


## Mira

Sad to hear you are in pain. I hope it will get better. And that you will be able to enjoy the concert tonight  :Panda:

----------

Paula (06-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

Sorry about the pain love. Enjoy that tonight! Sounds lovely!

----------


## Paula

Im really looking forward to it  :):

----------


## magie06

It sounds like a lovely way to pass an evening. One of the brass bands in Galway, are organizing a reading of a Christmas Carol on Sunday evening and providing the musical numbers. It right up my alley.

----------

Paula (06-12-19),Suzi (06-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

That sounds lovely Magie!

----------


## OldMike

Enjoy the concert Paula  :Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

Enjoy tonight!

----------


## Suzi

Hope you're having a brilliant evening!

----------


## Paula

It was fab! My friend is in the Winchester Fusion Choir and they do regular concerts for charity.

----------

Suzi (07-12-19)

----------


## Paula

Ive spent the day on my iPad doing Christmas shopping. The only presents Ive got to source are Si and Jesss. but Ive no idea what to get them so Ive asked Si (I hate doing that as I like surprising people). Coincidentally, my eyes are blurry .....

----------


## Suzi

We've got each other (although I might be buying Marc an internal door or a tin of paint) and Hazel's birthday present left to get  :O:  I *think* we know what we're going to get....

----------


## Paula

So, my leg has been in mini flare for a few days. Its now in full throttle mode. 

However! Strictly helped numb the pain  :):

----------


## Suzi

Strictly was fabulous! 

Sorry about your leg - doing too much?

----------


## Paula

Im not sure but itll pass. Ive not helped myself by not doing my yoga the past few days so thatll be happening today

----------


## Jaquaia

How is your leg feeling today?

----------


## Suzi

How are you Princess?

----------


## Paula

Im ok. Ive done my exercises and my mindfulness (which I missed Friday and was very irritable). Ive cleaned Katies carpet where she used it to wipe excess makeup of her brushes ...... but its come up ok, and Sis taken her bed out of the room. Ive ordered a few bits for Jesss stocking - it feels weird not doing one for Katie this year. Id better go and get dressed now lol

----------


## Mira

Taking it easy  :):  I like it. Taking your time to get dressed.

----------


## Suzi

What are you turning Katie's room into? Excess shoes and bags storage?

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  no, into a tv/gaming room/spare bedroom. But Si has started talking about reworking the study into a dressing room  :):

----------


## Suzi

OO that sounds fun!  :):

----------


## Paula

I dropped a rather large hint a while ago - I have a beautiful dressing table but end up doing my make up on the window sill to get the best light. So, I said that itd be really handy if the table was put under the window,  but that could only happen if the wardrobes are moved into another room ...... that was about 6 weeks ago - I know my husband and he has to take time to mull these things over  :O:

----------


## OldMike

> no, into a tv/gaming room/spare bedroom. But Si has started talking about reworking the study into a dressing room


What you haven't got a dressing room, every Princess MUST have a dressing room  :O: 




> I dropped a rather large hint a while ago - I have a beautiful dressing table but end up doing my make up on the window sill to get the best light. So, I said that it’d be really handy if the table was put under the window,  but that could only happen if the wardrobes are moved into another room ...... that was about 6 weeks ago - I know my husband and he has to take time to mull these things over


6 weeks don't hold your breath there, just put Post It notes scattered round the house and Si might get the hint  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Lol... subtle...  :(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl): 

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Im fine. And I might just be able to finish my cross stitch today  :(party):

----------

OldMike (09-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo!

----------


## Paula

I finished the cross stitch - just got to finish the backstitch ((which I hate doing but hey ho). Its gorgeous :): 

Ive drooped another dose today which means that, for the first time, Ill be going 24 hours between dose. This is the one I was most worried about...

----------


## Mira

Are we going to see the cross stitch? 

Are you still worried? Or is it going well?

----------


## Suzi

Well done for finishing! Can't wait to see it!

How's the reduction going so far?

----------


## Paula

Ill show you all when Ive done the backstitch.

I was feeling really, really sick all evening and night and Ive got a headache this morning. Still, today a decorator is coming to give us a quote to paint the new tv room and the downstairs shower room  :):  Im chuffed, I didnt want Si to decorate the rooms as thats not really his forte, but I thought hed baulk at spending the money on getting someone to do it  :O:

----------

Suzi (10-12-19)

----------


## Suzi

OO that sounds exciting!

How are you doing love? Do you have anti sickness meds? Peppermint or ginger biscuits are meant to help?

----------


## Paula

I cant take anti sickness meds but I do have ginger tea. Im ok, better than when I woke up - because Ive had my morning dose of morphine Im assuming

Ive managed to push Si to agree to a quote for doing all the woodwork in our 3 halls too  :):

----------


## Suzi

Poor Si!

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  :Panda: 
You're pretty amazing you know.

----------


## Paula

> You're pretty amazing you know.


Not really, just pretty stubborn  :O: 




> Poor Si!


Ah well, he knew what he was marrying!

----------


## Suzi

"What?" Don't you mean "Who?"  :(rofl):  You are a Princess and I believe you've always been a Princess and will always be a Princess... He should consider himself VERY lucky you chose him!  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

By what I mean my more, erm, challenging characteristics. Being tough means Im not always the easiest to live with  :(rofl): . If Im a princess, Im definitely the one who complained about the pea in her bed!

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

:(giggle):  :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

I wasnt going to post this but I feel like crap. My head is thumping, I can barely keep my eyes open and my whole body is protesting

----------


## Jaquaia

Can you please rest as much as possible?  :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Is sleep possible :Panda:

----------


## Paula

I slept, SM, thank you. My head still hurts but today Im going to a Christmas communion service at the church. I also need to finish writing Christmas cards

----------


## Mira

I do hope today will be brighter for you. And that going to church gives you some Joy.

----------


## Suzi

> I wasnt going to post this but I feel like crap. My head is thumping, I can barely keep my eyes open and my whole body is protesting


Why would you not post this? 

OK so Christmas carol service and that's it right? Rest please...

----------


## Paula

Because we all know why I feel crap and its boring ....

It was a lovely communion service - Book of Common Prayer (lots of thees and thous) and only 6 of us there - I was the youngest by about 3 decades  :O: . Just what I needed 

Other than that, I shall be writing Christmas cards while watching tv and doing very little else

----------


## Mira

Well would you tell me its boring when I talk about how I feel the same way for days? 

Whats going on with you is in no way boring. Its horrible you are feeling this way. But we do want to know about it. If only to send you a  :Panda: . We care about you.

----------

Paula (11-12-19),Suzi (11-12-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

^^he has a point  :O:

----------


## EJ

If it was 1662 then I love it xx

----------


## Suzi

Mira has a very good point............. 

Glad you enjoyed the service.

----------


## Paula

EJ yes it was 1662 - so peaceful  :): 

Mira, all of you - dont you know I hate having my advice thrown back to me?  :(giggle): . And, yes, you might have a point ....

----------


## Mira

I do know that  :):  

But what is there to do? You could stop giving advice (please dont). Or be happy we listen to you  :(inlove):

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Paula (11-12-19)

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## Suzi

:(rofl):  You've thrown enough of my own back at me over the years!  :(rofl):

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## Paula

True  :(rofl):

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## Suzi

Yo Sparkles! How are you today?

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## Paula

Well, Ive been up since 5.20, have done some washing, cleared up the kitchen, watched diy sos and separated the coppers from the silver coin in our change pot as they kept falling out - which really annoyed me this morning.

In totally unrelated news, Ive made myself a camomile tea ...

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## Suzi

Woah! Steady on, what's making you so hyper? Did you cry at DIY SOS?

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## Paula

No I didnt cry :0

Yesterday, I stared at the tv most of the day as I had no motivation.  Today ..,.,,, Im putting it down to morphine but I am conscious of my erm need for mood stabilisers itms

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## Suzi

YOU didn't cry at Diy sos? That's not like you.... 
You not feeling so good gorgeous? Anything I can do to help?

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## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  :Panda: 


You make me feel lazy lol
I didn't make it up til 11.30.
Rest???

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## magie06

I cried at DIY SOS last night. I'm amazed that you didn't. Did you even sniffle?

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## Paula

Not a sniffle and, no, I know thats not like me. Im 90% sure its all to do with withdrawal - Ive just got to get through. My pain has racked up his afternoon too.

Ive voted, finished my cards and had coffee with a friend.

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## Mira

So you did great today. I hope your evening can be more relaxed and with less pain. Are you doing something nice?

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## OldMike

> Not a sniffle and, no, I know that’s not like me. I’m 90% sure it’s all to do with withdrawal - I’ve just got to get through. My pain has racked up his afternoon too.
> 
> I’ve voted, finished my cards and had coffee with a friend.


 :(bear):   :Panda: 

I've just got back from voting it has been chucking it down all day and only just slackened off, the floor of the porta-cabin where we vote is swimming with water where all the drowned rats who voted previously have dripped on to it.

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## Suzi

How's the pain love? Do you have other techniques to help?

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## Paula

The pain is what it is. Its a crutch and stairlift day but that means I am using the tools I have, I suppose.

But add into that my muscles ache, everywhere, I feel like Ive got flu, my nose is running, I have a headache, Im antsy, my eyesights blurry etc .... and Im feeling sorry for myself

But itll pass

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## Suzi

I'll let you feel sorry for yourself for tonight.... You do deserve to be able to feel crappy... Withdrawal sucks. Morphine withdrawal is hideous.

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Paula (12-12-19)

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## Strugglingmum

Sorry you're feeling crap.  :Panda: 
I still think you're awesome. X

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Paula (13-12-19)

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## Paula

Woke up at 4am but I did manage to get back off to sleep. Today Im having my hair done and its yoga day - Im looking forward to that as I think itll help with the muscle aches. I have also lost 4 lbs of the 7 lbs I put on so, despite feeling naff, its not a horrible start to the day

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## Jaquaia

That's awesome! Well done you!

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## Suzi

Well done lovely. Enjoy yoga! Don't push it too hard though lovely..

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## Paula

Ive got my letter to neurology confirming that I need to increase my diuretic. But, and this is why he needed to consult with an opthamologist, along with swollen discs, I also have early cataracts. Im 45 .......

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## Suzi

Oh love, I'm sorry. You seem to be taking blow after blow atm....

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## Mira

Oh no  :Panda:  :Panda:

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## Jaquaia

:Panda:

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## Strugglingmum

I'm so sorry Paula. :Panda:  Hopefully you'll get on the list for surgery. It's very successful.

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## Paula

Im going to call the eye clinic on Monday. Im already under that dept for my neuro issues so Ill see if I can get an appointment brought forward. I know its probably nothing but Ive been complaining of blurry eyes for a while and assumed it was withdrawal (which it probably is) but it would help ease my worries if I can talk it over with the eye doctor

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## Suzi

That is a good plan to move forward....

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## Paula

In better news, Jess has her first work Christmas do tonight. Shes not one for makeup, sparkles or even doing much with her hair but today she had her hair coloured and several inches cut off, Katie did her makeup for her and Jess had bought a lovely outfit - not short skirts and skimpy tops but her take on Christmas party wear. She looked beautiful  :):

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Strugglingmum (13-12-19)

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## Suzi

That's made me smile! It's strange isn't it when we've been talking so long that I feel such a strong connection with your children that things like this make me well up with pride too!

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## Strugglingmum

Jess sounds like my daughter. When they make the effort they stun even more than usual, and because they don't normally bother it makes an even bigger impact.

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## Paula

> Jess sounds like my daughter. When they make the effort they stun even more than usual, and because they don't normally bother it makes an even bigger impact.


Exactly. I know Im biased but Jess really is beautiful - but shes never felt the need to doll herself up. The last time was her prom 2 1/2 years ago. Im going to be in so much trouble if she ever finds out Ive posted this  :O: 







> That's made me smile! It's strange isn't it when we've been talking so long that I feel such a strong connection with your children that things like this make me well up with pride too!


I know!

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## Jaquaia

Gorgeous!

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Paula (13-12-19)

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## Mira

Biased or not you are so right.  And the make up has been done so nicely too.

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## Paula

Ah, sorry guys, I misled you :O: . This photo was from Jesss prom, not last night.

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## OldMike

Princess you've got a lovely daughter, Jess is drop dead gorgeous  :):

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Paula (14-12-19)

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## Suzi

She looked stunning then, but she's so beautiful that she'd look stunning in a bin bag!

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Paula (14-12-19)

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## Strugglingmum

Beautiful girlie. Xx
Must take after her mum. X

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Paula (14-12-19)

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## EJ

You are very blessed to have such a lovely daughter Paula xx

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Paula (14-12-19)

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## Paula

> Beautiful girlie. Xx
> Must take after her mum. X


Pmsl actually her godmother was here a couple a days ago and was commenting on how much she looks like her dad. Theres not much of me in Jess, Im afraid, apart from colouring

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Suzi (14-12-19)

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## Suzi

How are you doing today gorgeous?

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## Paula

Im ok, a bit emotional today but physically feeling a lot better. Ive got a few weeks off now from withdrawal as Im leaving as is til after Christmas  :):  

Si and I are going out for lunch with my brother and sister in law tomorrow, to a lovely local pub

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## Suzi

I'm glad you're giving yourself time to stabilise over Christmas. 

Enjoy tomorrow love x

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## Strugglingmum

Oooooooo lunch out. Xx enjoy.
I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Brill idea to have Christmas without withdrawal.  X

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## Suzi

Morning love, hope you have a great lunch out!

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## OldMike

Paula enjoy lunch out, nothing like a nice meal out with good conversation.

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## Mira

How are you doing?

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## Paula

> How are you doing?


Im ok, ta, its been an emotional afternoon with my friend .....


To start with. Here is my Luna, years ago, perfecting the Cockroach







This is the picture my friend gave me for Christmas .........

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OldMike (18-12-19)

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## Suzi

Oh wow! That's an amazing picture. *sob*

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## Jaquaia

That's amazing!!!

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## Mira

Oh wow that must have brought so much joy  :):

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## Paula

I _might_ have cried .....

Ive found out that one of my friends from Bath is in hospital after having 2 heart attacks. Its thrown me a bit

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## Mira

Oh no  :Panda: 

How is your friend doing now?

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## Paula

Poorly but feeling better than she had done for quite a while beforehand. She got fobbed off at the GP, which makes me cross

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## Mira

That would make me cross too. But it is a good thing she is feeling a bit better. Lets hope it will improve very fast.

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## Suzi

:(bear):  I'm sorry lovely....

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## Jaquaia

:Panda:

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## Suzi

How are you love?

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## Paula

Im ok, having my nails down and trying to get the motivation to wrap presents

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## Jaquaia

Gift bags!

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## Suzi

Glad you're OK lovely....

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## Paula

> Gift bags!


Oh yes, but theres some I have to post so have to be wrapped. I didnt manage it so Ive worked out what _have_ to be done before I leave for Bath tomorrow and will at least do those tonight

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## Paula

Christmas nails 2 1/2 hours that took!  :):

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## Jaquaia

Oooh pretty!!!

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Paula (17-12-19)

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## Mira

That looks great. Well worth the time. I like the ring too.

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## Suzi

Very pretty! When are you off tomorrow?

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## Paula

> Very pretty! When are you off tomorrow?


Probably late morning, I want to work out where the new hospital is in relation to where Im staying while its still light




> That looks great. Well worth the time. I like the ring too.


Thank you. I do love my wedding ring  :):

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## Angie

Love the nails hunni, hope it goes well at Bath for you, but looking at the progress you have made am sure it will xx

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## Suzi

Sounds like a good plan taking your time getting there etc...

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## Suzi

Thinking of you today love....

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## Mira

I am doing that as well  :Panda:

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## Allalone

Hope it goes well Paula.xx

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## Strugglingmum

wishing you well.... and safe journey. x

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## Suzi

I'm sending Paula helpful and supportive texts, so if anyone wants a message passed on, let me know  :O:

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## Angie

Tell her am thinking of her but that I know she will do brilliantly xx

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## Mira

Maybe tell her I am thinking of her and wish her well.

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## Suzi

I will do!

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Angie (18-12-19)

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## OldMike

Hope all goes well down at Bath Paula, I know you'll be magnificent.

----------


## magie06

Thinking of you and praying that all goes well.

----------


## Suzi

Paula is on her way home, but she's shattered so going to speak tomorrow. If anyone sees her here slap her with a kipper please!

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Paula (20-12-19)

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## OldMike

Okay got a fresh supply of kippers at the ready  :(giggle):

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## Angie

She was in earlier on today, but have the kippers ready  :P:  :Kiss:

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OldMike (19-12-19),Suzi (19-12-19)

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## Paula

> Paula is on her way home, but she's shattered so going to speak tomorrow. If anyone sees her here slap her with a kipper please!


As if!




> She was in earlier on today, but have the kippers ready


Grass  :P: 

Bath went really, really well. The accommodation was good and close to the hospital - actually walking distance (Si and I tried it out on Wednesday) but I was sensible (I know!) when I realised what the weather was doing and booked a taxi for the morning. Yesterday was really positive, although there was an element of what weve been doing and lessons learned, the focus was more on what comes next, both over the next 3 months til our next follow up and beyond that. We did ask whether we could have an additional follow up at 12 months but I think thats unlikely. The days given me ideas and impetus for more changes - inc Im going to try swimming in the new year. What was really encouraging was the physical measures - in the 4 weeks, they expect these to improve but, after that at the 3 month follow up, they expect the measures to plateau. Mine improved dramatically yesterday - one of them is standing up and sitting down on a chair and how many times its done in 1 minute. When I started the course, I managed 7 using 2 crutches. At the end of the 4 weeks, I managed 16 with no crutches. Yesterday, no crutches obvs, I managed 28. Im a wee bit proud  :O:

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Allalone (20-12-19),Strugglingmum (20-12-19)

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## Jaquaia

So you should be!!!! That's amazing!!!!

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Paula (20-12-19)

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## Angie

You should definately be proud that is brilliant sweetie x

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Paula (20-12-19)

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## Mira

Thanks for giving me a smile right now. That is amazing. And you should be proud!

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Paula (20-12-19)

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## EJ

Dear Paula you have done very very well. You and your family should be very proud x

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Paula (20-12-19)

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## Suzi

That's phenomenal! You're amazing!

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Paula (20-12-19)

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## Paula

Thank you, all of you  :):

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's amazing news Paula...... but I never doubted it!!

----------


## OldMike

You've done really well Paula, your mobility has certainly increased which is so fantastic  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

So, you still using crutches to get about?

----------


## Paula

Im using a stick. Its necessary for balance atm, particularly when I have a sudden flare. Im not stable and not sure if I would ever be but who knows. Im just grateful for what Ive got  :):

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## Suzi

That's such a huge change love. You are so amazing.

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Paula (20-12-19)

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## Paula

Im closing this thread as it related to the end of my time in hospital and it seems appropriate to start afresh after the 3 month follow up  :O:

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Suzi (21-12-19)

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