# Help and Advice > Questions/Information about depression >  Feeling lost

## Jasmine

Hello,

I'm new to this forum so this is my first post so please tell me if I do or say anything wrong.
I'm feeling really down and hopeless at the moment. I've been having counselling for about 6 months now to deal with some issues from my past and progress has been extremely slow. In the last few weeks I noticed my therapist has been pushing me a bit more and although it felt uncomfortable it seemed to be helping me progress. However in my latest appointment on Saturday she told me she's leaving and that I will only be able to have a few more appointments. I'm absolutely devastated by it as I feel like I'm only just starting to open up properly and trust her enough to get anywhere and I'll now have to stop. I can't face the thought of speaking to anyone else. I feel like she's abandoning me.

Has anyone here experienced something similar?

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## Paula

Hi jasmine and welcome. Im so sorry this has happened right when youre starting to see progress. Did your therapist make any suggestions re what shed recommend happens next?

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## Jasmine

Hi Paula,
Thanks for replying. She asked me to think of what I would like to achieve over the next few appointments (we have 4 left) and we can then discuss options closer to the time. She also said most people only have access to approximately 6 appointments on the NHS and can usually achieve a fair bit in that time. I've been paying for private appointments so I didn't have to worry about rushing but now I can't help but feel like she's judging me for needing to do this slowly. I'm probably massively overthinking this!

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## Jaquaia

She won't be judging you lovely, she'll be used to some people needing to take things slower as she'll appreciate everyone is.different.

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## magie06

Hi Jasmine, don't worry about how long anything takes. It's not a competition or a race and it takes as long as it takes. I was in your shoes recently and I had a crisis. In the middle of it I had to change counsellor and as usual it took me a while to start opening up to someone new. 
See how you get on for the next few appointments and then see what she recommends. It will be difficult at first but you've done it once, so it can happen again. Good luck.

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## Jasmine

Thank you both. I'm just not sure I have the strength to go through everything again with someone else. Everytime I think about it I can't seem to hold it together and I just keep crying. I feel pretty pathetic.

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## Jaquaia

You're not. You're ill, there's a big difference. I understand how hard it can be to start again, I've seen about 9 different counsellors now, but sometimes it's a necessary evil to try and get well. I've found that my latest counsellor has been the best of the lot and has reallt fought my corner

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## Jasmine

Thank you. That's really good to hear that you've found someone else you can trust.

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. Sweetheart I know how hard it is to swap counsellors, but I promise you that you can do this and you can carry on to getting through your issues with someone new.

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## Jasmine

Thank you Suzi. When I first started counselling I never in a million years would have predicted I would react like this.

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## magie06

It's change, and change is very hard to deal with.

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## Suzi

No, but it shows how far you've come and how much work you've put into it.

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## Jasmine

My counsellor said something similar. She thinks i've come a long way too. I've gone from feeling completely numb to feeling sad and angry. I was hoping for some happiness to creep in there at some point but I'm struggling to see how that can happen now. 
Sorry for moaning on! I didn't mean for my first post to be so negative.

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## Jaquaia

You have no need to be sorry. This is your thread and your place to say whatever you need to say. The happiness will happen  :Panda:

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## Paula

Dont ever apologise for talking about how you feel

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## Jasmine

Thank you all for being so kind. This is a lovely forum.

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## Suzi

Thank you  :O:  

In time the happiness will come - but now you'll have to search for it. It's finding the small tiny things to hold on to - a lovely cuppa, a hot shower, the smell of coffee/baking, a line in a comedy show that made you smile, a daffodil smiling..... Each little thing will build up more and more and it will help.

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S deleted (20-03-18)

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## Jasmine

Does anyone here suffer from dissociative amnesia?

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## PurpleNewt

Different perspective - having done a lot of the 'ground work' with your current counsellor, you may feel able to open up even more to someone new. You may have a better rapport with them - you just never know. How you are feeling now may not be how you are feeling tomorrow, or next week, or next month. 

I hope you continue to make progress.

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Jaquaia (09-04-18)

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