# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Chink of light in the darkness

## Paula

Its been really tough to see my way out of any of the rubbish thats come my way recently. Im getting there but its still an uphill struggle, not helped by the fact that Im feeling like this mainly because of meds - and its therefore out of my control. And Ive been angry,  which is not an emotion I feel comfortable with. But yesterday I was able to spend an evening with my baby girl, and that felt wonderful (until she left, and I cried), and Im going to try to hold onto that chink of light

And Si and I have decided Im stopping the Topiramate - I havent heard from neurology and Im done waiting, I need to get better. It may be the wrong decision but it cant be any worse than whats already happened ....

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## Stella180

So glad you had a good time with your lass. How long was she with you? I’m sure it wasn’t enough and it must have been devastating for you not being able to hug her. When do you see her again?
 As for your meds I’m not sure what the best thing is to do. Obviously stopping meds without doctors instruction isn’t advised however in your situation staying on the meds is a cause of greater anguish so I totally get why you came to that decision.
How is that troublesome pooch of yours doing? Does he like his new bed that you upgraded for him?

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## Paula

Katies working 8-6 this week so I think shell be too tired to pop over again, hopefully will see her at the weekend.

Jax is sooooooo energetic! Hes hilarious  :): . He loves his new bed - it lives outside the study so he can be close to Si even when hes working lol

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## Stella180

So he’s a mans dog then? How are you spending your days?

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## Paula

Hes absolutely hero worshipping Si, racing up and down the stairs after him.  Dont get me wrong, he loves me and Jess but Si is his world

Im doing what I can each day. Its not much but its more than I was managing last week

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## Suzi

Paula, I think you're amazing. You are sounding more coherent than you have done. I think that under the circumstances I totally understand why you want to stop the top, and I'm glad you've talked it through with Si. You are both sensible and I know you won't have come to this decision lightly, but your body can only handle so much at once and maybe this is just too much right now?

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## Paula

Si had been waiting for me to ask him what he thought - he wanted me to come off it a week ago! And yep, definitely too much right now. Everything hurts

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## Suzi

You can only cope with so much. Even wonderwoman would have crumbled before now with what you're going through.....

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Paula (02-06-20)

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## Stella180

Paula is Wonder Woman!

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## Paula

Ill take that! Gal Gadot  :O:

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Suzi (03-06-20)

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## Suzi

How are you today?

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## OldMike

Just been catching up on your thread Paula it's good that Katie can now pop round for a chat  :):

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## Paula

> How are you today?


Im ok. Im going to try to do some rock choir practice - last time I tried I got really dizzy so Ive kept well away. Im also going to look into getting hold of my medical records

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## Suzi

Good for you!

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## Paula

Ive now lost 1st 6lbs since 6 March and its really showing. I was having a conversation with mum this morning about how Im looking so much slimmer - except my tummy. She reminded me that women of a certain age tend to keep a tummy ..... ouch

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## Stella180

Women of a certain age lol

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## Paula

I kindly failed to point out that shes the mother of a woman 9f a certain age ....

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## Stella180

How dignified of you lol

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## Suzi

Lol! Well done you!

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## Paula

Had a call from neurology this morning. Consultant agrees I need to stop the topiramate and will push the other consultant for an appointment.

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Stella180 (05-06-20)

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## Suzi

That's brilliant news! You feeling any brighter?

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## Paula

Up and down, today Ive been having dizzy spells so its a quiet day....

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## Suzi

Is that from stopping the top.?

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## Paula

I think so. I am getting there, its just taking time

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## Suzi

As long as you're getting better bit by bit love.

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## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

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## Paula

Im going to try to do some study today  :):

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## Stella180

I’m guessing you’d left that alone for a while with all that is going on. Hope you get to focus of your studies.

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Paula (08-06-20)

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## Suzi

Hope you're able to study today love.

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## Paula

5000 jobs to go in Centrica, though we wont know for 6 weeks whether Si is safe.....

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## Suzi

Oh that's awful! Just what you don't need, more worry....

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## Paula

Im going to try very hard to not worry about it until the 6 weeks is up. Not sure how successful Ill be though lol

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## Suzi

You know I'm here for you if you want someone to talk to...

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Paula (11-06-20)

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## Stella180

And I’m always ready to make you laugh when you least expect it  :O:

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Paula (11-06-20)

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## Paula

My cousin, with cancer, has just found out he has Lynch Syndrome. Its a genetic mutation that greatly increases the risk of certain cancers like bowel, womb, ovary, pancreas etc. On the plus side it means he might be eligible for a drug trial. On the huge theres a 50/50 chance his kids could have it. We have to wait for them all to be tested as we dont know whether its our side of the family or his dads....

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## Suzi

Wow, that's tough... Are you OK?

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## Paula

I think so. He has just been told hes eligible for the trial. As for the rest of it, we just have to wait and see.

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## Suzi

That's good news!

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## Paula

As well as having his entire bowel removed, the op showed that every lobe of his liver is riddled with cancer hence why they couldnt operate and chemo would only buy him time. This new drug has been fast tracked because of covid and targets the proteins in the mutant cells, killing them off and preventing them multiplying. So theyre hoping, with chemo, the treatment can actually stop the cancer in its tracks

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## Suzi

That would be absolutely amazing if it does what it's meant to. A complete game changer for so many with cancer.

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## Paula

Absolutely!

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## Strugglingmum

Wow that sounds like an amazing trial. Hope he gets a chance from it

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## Paula

MUM AND DAD ARE VISITING ON SATURDAY  :(party):  :(party):

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## Suzi

So pleased for you! 

I was going to ask how you are today, but seeing the news you've just posted means that you'll be very happy and excited! But apart from that excitedness, how are you doing?

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## Paula

Ive lost another lb, Stella posted Wham, and mum and dad are coming! Its been a good day so far!  Otherwise, Im ok generally. Im still getting the occasional bout of lightheadedness but I feel tons better.

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OldMike (15-06-20)

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## Stella180

I’m glad a bit of wham has brightened your day. That’s great news about the rents visiting. How is that going to work for you guys?

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## Paula

Plenty of chairs at suitable distance in the garden -  and theyre bringing their own picnic

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Stella180 (15-06-20)

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## OldMike

You can't beat a bit of Wham, Paula glad you're on the up  :Panda:

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## Suzi

Thank you! The colourful crutches arrived today! They are awesome! Thank you!  :):

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## Paula

My pleasure  :):

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## Suzi

So how are you doing? Excitement worn off a bit?

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## Paula

Im fine, even went for a longer than usual with Si and Jax this evening  :O:

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Stella180 (15-06-20)

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## Suzi

You never cease to amaze me you know... You're epic.

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Paula (16-06-20)

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## Paula

Im equal parts furious and upset. Ive just got a letter from the government telling me guidance on shielding was changing so things will get easier for me. They never told me I should be shielding for the last 3 months - including social distancing from Si and Jess ......

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## Stella180

Why am I not surprised by this? Thankfully you as a family have been incredibly sensible and cautious so in that sense you have nothing to worry about. I still think doing what it right for you is more important than what BoJo and his band of clowns are telling us anyway. Anyone with half a brain can work it out cos in society people have different needs so blanket rules can’t work for everyone. I still don’t understand how you can congregate in a pub but can only visit one other household. You can go to a restaurant but not a gym? I really don’t understand the logic being used.

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## Suzi

Oh hunni, I'm so cross on your behalf! I think the whole thing has been amazingly mishandled from start to finish!

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Stella180 (23-06-20)

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## Paula

Apparently, I wasnt supposed to be within 2m of Si or Jess....

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## Suzi

Nice of them to tell you that.....  :Panda:

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## Paula

Im really struggling. CRPS and heat do not mix .....

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## Suzi

*sends ice, lollies, ice cream, more ice and someone lovely to stand and fan you*

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Paula (25-06-20)

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## Stella180

I’ve literally either lay on the bed or the sofa with the fan blowing full blast.

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## OldMike

> *sends ice, lollies, ice cream, more ice and someone lovely to stand and fan you*


Send me some ice cream Suzi after Paula has had fill of course.

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## Suzi

How are you today gorgeous?

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## Paula

Im ok. Was up at 5.30 this morning though, no idea why, so Im going to try to study but not expecting much from my brain  :O:

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## Stella180

You have an amazing brain and even running on low power you are awesome.

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## Suzi

How's the studying going? Are you staying hydrated and with plenty of rest breaks?

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## Paula

Fully hydrated, lots of mini breaks and sat under the parasol in the garden doing it, so it was nice. And Katie surprised us with a quick visit too  :):

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## Suzi

YAY visit from Katie! 

Glad you're taking it gently and being kind to you love. It's important. 

How's the CRPS playing with the heat today?

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## Paula

There was a lovely breeze in my garden, so the CRPS behaved better  :O:

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## Suzi

Good, I'm glad... How did the studying go?

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## Paula

Good. And Ive booked the study tomorrow so I can use the big screen  :(giggle):

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## Suzi

I assume you have air con or at least a fan in there?

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## Paula

Its going to be cooler tomorrow.

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## Stella180

I bloody hope so! I heard a rumour we have rain tomorrow around here and I might just go sit outside and enjoy the downpour.

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## Paula

Its been pouring down all morning. Isnt it lovely?!

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## Suzi

Isn't it just! 

Hope the studying in the study is working well today, but that you're also taking breaks and pacing....

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## Paula

I am ever so slightly excited. My cleaner is coming back next Monday!  Ive missed her sooooooooo much

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## Suzi

Lol! Masks and gloves on for both of you then?

Apart from that, how are you doing love? Meds now sorted?

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## Paula

Meds now fine. Life is getting back to normal  :O:

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## Stella180

I wish my cleaner would hurry up and come back  :(:

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## Suzi

I'm so pleased for you love.

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## Strugglingmum

Gland you are feeling better

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## Suzi

You've been really quiet.... Are you OK?

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## Paula

Im ok. Though I saw the ophthalmologist today and theres been no change in the pressure on my optic nerves. Im disappointed as Id hoped my weight loss was going to help.

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## Suzi

Oh hunni I'm sorry. What happens next?

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## Paula

Wait for the second opinion and monitor. Though, if I have any problems with my vision, Im to contact them urgently.

The round of redundancies at Centrica hit the level above Si today. His boss is going, which makes it even more of a worry for the next round -Sis level

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## Suzi

Oh love, I'm sorry... When will Si hear? I hope he's safe though.. I assume he's looking around just as a back up plan? 
Any idea when your next opinion will be?

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## Paula

Im not sure when the next round is - though I suspect itll be a 6 week consultation. As for the second opinion, no idea ....

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## Suzi

I hate waiting on other people for things...  :Panda:  How's Si feeling about it all? Is he talking?

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## Paula

Yeah he is. Hes trying not to worry too much yet but is obviously worrying itms

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## Suzi

I feel for him...

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## EJ

I’m sorry for you both xx

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Paula (07-07-20)

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## OldMike

It's a worrying time with covid-19 lots of jobs will be lost, I hope Si is one of the lucky ones and keeps his job. Paula is there any medication that would reduce the pressure on your optic nerves?

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## Paula

> Paula is there any medication that would reduce the pressure on your optic nerves?


Yes, theres 2. Both of which Ive had nasty reactions to. So, atm, Im taking a diuretic which isnt ideal and doesnt seem to be working but they dont want to take me off it until theyve figured out whats going on

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OldMike (09-07-20)

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## Suzi

How you doing love?

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## Paula

Plodding on

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## Angie

:(bear):

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## Suzi

> Plodding on


What's up? You sound low and not so sparkly... want to talk about it all?

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## Paula

Im fine. Weve had some good news - Jess goes back to work Monday, we were all convinced her employer was folding - phew  :):

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## Suzi

YAY! Well done Jess!  :):  About time you had some good news!

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## Stella180

That’s great news for Jess.

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## Paula

*in flare*  :(:

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## Stella180

That sucks big time  :(:

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## Suzi

:Panda:  :(bear):  Can you pace and be really kind and gentle to you?

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## Paula

> Can you pace and be really kind and gentle to you?


I am, no choice. I woke up this morning and my leg from knee to toes looked like it had been boiled. So today Im just doing cross stitch and watching tv

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## Suzi

Ouch. Glad you're pacing, but wish you weren't in pain... Flares suck.

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## Jaquaia

Sending gentle hugs  :Panda:

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## Paula

Its spread to my neck now - why does pain in one bit always causes the rest of it to go? ....

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## Suzi

Oh that's horrid... Hope it leaves you soon lovely.

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## magie06

Are you resting today?

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## Paula

Ive had a zoom meeting this morning and a friend is coming over this afternoon. So not really. But Im fine - hips still a bit sore but  Im feeling a lot better overall. Ive also bought myself an all body pillow to see if that helps support me better in my sleep

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## Suzi

Hope you're having an enjoyable day, if not restful!

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## Strugglingmum

Glad you are feeling a bit better  :(bear):

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## Paula

Today is definitely a self care day - Im having a manicure and pedicure, for the first time since before lockdown  :(party): . Im thinking bright red!

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## Suzi

Woohoo! Happy mani pedi day! Definitely bright and cheerful!

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## OldMike

Day- glo pink would be my choice though I'm sure bright red would just as good  :):

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Paula (16-07-20),Suzi (16-07-20)

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## Suzi

With sparkles Mike? I think that'd be up your street!  :O:

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OldMike (16-07-20)

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## Paula

Im out of practice with socialising. After 2 1/2 hours chatting, Im exhausted.....  :O:

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## Suzi

Rest this afternoon please... Your fingers and toes look really pretty!

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## Paula

Thank you  :): 

Erm, rest?  I might have fallen into my study books.....

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## Suzi

Lol, are you enjoying them?

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## Paula

Loving it. But Im shattered, Bone tired itms

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## Suzi

Makes perfect sense! Resting tonight and pacing tomorrow I hope?

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## Paula

Yeap. Ish. Cancelled zoom meeting but its my brothers birthday so I need to see him

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## Stella180

Happy Birthday to your bro.

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## Suzi

You doing anything nice?

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## Paula

Were just going over for cake - itll be the first time weve seen them since lockdown

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## Suzi

How are you today?

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## Paula

Ive taken it very easy so far today, Ive been reading sat in the garden. Im ok, recovering I think

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## Suzi

Good!!

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## Paula

Not feeling great tonight. Although I tried to keep covered as much as possible while in my brothers garden, I think Ive got a touch of heatstroke.

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## Jaquaia

Rest tomorrow?

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## Strugglingmum

Oh gosh it has poured here all day... although it is close. Hopefully you will feel better after a sleep

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## Paula

Rest today. I do feel a bit better this morning though

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OldMike (18-07-20),Strugglingmum (18-07-20)

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## Suzi

Glad you're feeling a bit better and I'm glad you're having a rest day too.

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## Paula

Wow. Only just over feeling rubbish - that was 24 hours Ill never get back ....

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## Stella180

Hey, a 24 hr turn around is pretty impressive so don’t knock it.

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## Suzi

Glad it's over....  :Panda:   :(bear):

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## Paula

Ive had my neurology (second opinion) through for 3 August. Have to admit Im a touch nervous

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## Suzi

I can understand that, but we're all with you in spirit....

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## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

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## Suzi

How are you today love?

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## Paula

Im ok, thankfully. Were going out for lunch with the kids - my first time out doing anything other than medical appts and walking Jax. My anxiety over getting back to some normality has been an issue for the past few weeks so....

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## Stella180

Awww that’s great you’re going out for a family dinner. Enjoy it. You’ll be surrounded by the people you love to nothing to be anxious about. If only it worked that way. I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time

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Paula (19-07-20)

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## Suzi

Have you been and come back or are you going later? I'm proud of you, it's not easy trying to get to going out etc....

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## Paula

Weve been out. Ill admit I was very anxious but eventually relaxed and had fun. I even treated myself to Apple crumble  :O: 

Not sure how serious she is, but Jess is thinking about moving out ....

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## Strugglingmum

Glad you enjoyed yourself. xx
Can Jess afford to move out??? Mine keep saying they are wanting to move out yet here we all are.

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## Stella180

I didn’t move out until I was 24 cos I couldn’t afford it. Even then we (me and my partner at the time) needed two incomes to do it.

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## Paula

Shes talking about a houseshare. Actually, Jess is probably the most fiscally responsible of all of us  :O: . I actually bought my first house at 19 .....

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## Suzi

How do you feel about the prospect of her moving out? 


BTW am really impressed you went out and had some fun!

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## Paula

Ermmmm, Im torn really. I actually think itd be good for her - shes such an introvert, it might be good for her to be renting a room as it might mean shell socialise a bit more. But shes my baby .....

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## Suzi

I totally see your dilemma! It's so hard... But you've done an amazing job of raising two intelligent, strong, powerful (and beautiful) young women. Trust in the job you've done, then fill the spaces with more rescue greyhounds!

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Paula (20-07-20)

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## Stella180

Suzi are you suggesting Paula should swap her daughter for a dog? If so I agree, more puppies!!!  :(rofl):

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## Suzi

Not "replace".. Recycle the space  :O:

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## Paula

More puppies!!!! What an awesome idea!

So, as Ive been feeling slightly under the weather all weekend, and as Ive got the house completely to myself, I made the decision to have a chill day. Ive been reading a book in the garden all morning and now Ive just got to decide whether to continue that strenuous occupation or watch Warehouse 13  :O:

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## Stella180

Warehouse 13 is wicked! Definitely watch that.

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## Suzi

See, more puppies - it's the answer to pretty much everything!

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OldMike (22-07-20)

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## OldMike

More puppies is a great idea as Jax needs another friend  :O:

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## Paula

Ive booked an osteopath appointment for next Wednesday, to try to sort out my hip. Should be interesting - he is the only man Ive ever met that can make me blush. Hes just got this lovely way about him that makes almost every woman in the vicinity melt  :O:  He doesnt even know hes doing it lol and it works on all ages - my mum, me, Katie and everyone else I know thats been to see him! 

In other news, both my twin nephews (aged 15) have come out, which has had the effect of getting Jess to talk about her sexuality at last. Its been about 4 years since she told us shes gay and, other than the very occasional comment, she just hasnt wanted to say much. Not that its something that needs discussing, I just didnt want her to feel she couldnt talk to us. But she even mentioned something in front of Katies boyfriend the other day so it seems shes finally comfortable with it all  :):

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Stella180 (22-07-20),Suzi (22-07-20)

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## Stella180

I hate the fact that anyone has to “come out”. You don’t get straight kids sitting down to have the conversation explaining that they like the opposite sex.

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## Suzi

That's amazing! Well done Jess! 
Fern's come out as being non binary properly last week. Fern has decided that their preferred pronouns are they/them etc we keep slipping up, but we're working hard on it. Fern told Marc's sister at the weekend - they've decided that they are only going to tell people who are actually important to them so not nannies....

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## Stella180

Now that is confusing for me. They/them suggests more than one so to use in the sense of a singular person feels weird. I’m very easily confused when it comes to gender identification and so much I don’t understand.

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## Suzi

It's not something I fully understand, just that Fern doesn't feel like she fits into "female" or "masculine" sometimes she's more f than m, other times it's the other way round. They've been hinting at it for a while, and kind of mentioned it, but this is the first time it's a definite. We're very proud.

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## Paula

We went out for dinner with friends last night and had such a good time - Im hoping I never take treats like that for granted, ever again! I even wore heels  :):  But it did make me realise were in a very different phase in our lives - 10 years ago all we talked about was our kids, last night it was all about our dogs  :(rofl):

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## Suzi

Dogs rule!  :):  I'm so pleased for you!

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## Paula

Back from the osteopath. Owwwwww

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## Strugglingmum

But is it a good owwwwww

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## Suzi

Hope it's a good ow love.

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## Paula

Not sure yet. The issue is (as suspected) because of the difference in how I weight bear on each side. Theres a muscle group in the pelvic area called *refers to the notes the osteopath gave me* Tensor Fascia Lata. Thats injured (and my quads are also really tight due to dealing with the injury). He massaged, manipulated and stuck needles in me. But he says itll be an ongoing issue as long as I cant walk evenly. So Ive got to give myself a deep massage for 2 minutes (laying down) every day - that didnt make me giggle smuttily  at all  :(giggle):

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## Flo

Give YOURSELF a massage??? Have you not heard of the saying "You don't have a dog and bark yourself" :O:

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## Strugglingmum

> Give YOURSELF a massage??? Have you not heard of the saying "You don't have a dog and bark yourself"


 :(rofl):

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## Paula

> Give YOURSELF a massage??? Have you not heard of the saying "You don't have a dog and bark yourself"


I know! He did ask if my husband would help but nope, Si hates massage - giving and receiving  :O:

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## Suzi

Oh no! What about a roller? Someone I know makes lovely wooden ones like a foot massager if that helps?

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## Paula

That would help, how big are they?

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## Suzi

Just sent you a whatsapp  :):

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## Paula

Youre a star  :Kiss:

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## Suzi

How are you today gorgeous?

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## Paula

Its a stair lift kind of day. Massaging last night was not fun. But the first few days after treatment are always sore - itll pass. I did layin this morning though  :):

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## Suzi

:Panda:   :(bear):  How are you doing now love?

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## Paula

Its eased the last couple of hours.  Ive been researching (at the Osteopaths suggestion) stretches that might help ongoing - though they all say the same, that itll only be fixed if the way youre walking is fixed. And thats not going to happen. But at least I know what I need to do. I even bought exercise bands  :O: 

Tomorrow (Im sooooo excited) Im getting my hair coloured  :(party):

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## Suzi

What colour? 

I'm dying mine tomorrow too  :O:  

What about pilates? Would that help at all?

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## Paula

Im embracing the grey, so two toned dark and silver  :O: 

Im a little wary about doing Pilates as, the last time I tried doing yoga at home, without supervision, I sent my whole body into flare......

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## Suzi

OOO sounds lovely! 

No chance you could find someone who comes to you? Or you go to them locally?

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## Paula

My yoga teacher hasnt got in contact with me. Shes in her 70s so Im wondering if shes decided not to carry on. I should call her, I suppose....

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## Suzi

Do, but then call others if she doesn't get back to you...

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Paula (31-07-20)

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## Flo

I had to stop Yoga because at the end of every session I felt nauseous! My balance is crap anyway and when we had to stand on one leg like a flamingo with other foot up to the side of the calf I kept falling over!! :(rofl):  Some people say that Yoga has changed their lives! It had the adverse effect with me! :S:

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## OldMike

> I had to stop Yoga because at the end of every session I felt nauseous! My balance is crap anyway and when we had to stand on one leg like a flamingo with other foot up to the side of the calf I kept falling over!! Some people say that Yoga has changed their lives! It had the adverse effect with me!


I used to do a good impression of a flamingo putting on my underpants stood up one leg at a time nowadays I sit down to put my underoos on which apparently a sign of old age, what me old  :O:   :(giggle):

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## Paula

Neuro appointment done. Boy Im shattered.....

Soooooo, lots of tests including another eye scan. Theres still swelling of the optic nerves but he said it is less than it was. But, after questioning Si about whether I snore (which I knew I did) and whether I stop breathing in my sleep (Which I didnt know I did) hes referring me for a sleep study as apparently obstructive sleep apnoea can mimic IIH. He doesnt want to change any meds at the moment and hell see me again after my next visual fields test in September.

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## Suzi

Oh wow, that sounds less scary than the IIH.... 
Are you resting?

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## Paula

Its definitely something worth finding out about. So, it was a good appointment - its given me hope after 3 years of not getting on the top of this. But Im exhausted.... however, after nearly a year since she left home, Katie invited her to her home this evening, for the first time. Its been done up to sell and she finally felt it wasnt such a pit she was embarrassed to show to us

----------


## Suzi

That's lovely that you got to go over. Sad that she has been embarrassed to show you previously though.. 

How are you today? Are you resting?

----------


## Paula

> Sad that she has been embarrassed to show you previously though..


I know, I tried but she was adamant.

Ive had a manicure this morning, this afternoon Im aiming to study  :):

----------


## Suzi

OO what colour nails? 

Hope the studying goes well x

----------


## Paula

Pale pink with pink glitter on the ring fingers  :):

----------


## Stella180

Okay I’m not into make up and stuff but I don’t understand why people have different design on one finger? What is the point?

----------


## Suzi

Lol... 

Nice colour choice!

----------


## Paula

> Okay Im not into make up and stuff but I dont understand why people have different design on one finger? What is the point?


Does an artist just paint a canvas in one colour?  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Love that explanation!  :):  

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Im good ta

----------

Suzi (05-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

What's on your agenda?

----------


## Stella180

> Does an artist just paint a canvas in one colour?


Ok fair enough. It still seems strange to me.

----------


## Flo

Any chance of a pic of nails?? They sound lovely. I'm no good with long nails....texts end up in a foreign language and laptop keyboard is a non starter. In my 20's and 30's my nails were long and hard and I could peel an apple with my index finger nail. Just thought I'd slip that one in while we were on the subject!! :(giggle):

----------


## OldMike

> Does an artist just paint a canvas in one colour?


Some artists do typically Yves Klein who in his exhibition, 'Proposte Monochrome, Epoca Blu' (Proposition Monochrome; Blue Epoch) at the Gallery Apollinaire, Milan, (January 1957), featured 11 identical blue canvases, using ultramarine pigment suspended in a synthetic resin 'Rhodopas'.

We all new that of course  :(rofl): 

IMHO you paint your nails with whatever floats your boat, bet they look great  :):

----------


## Paula

Here you go, Flo. I cant do long nails either, my nail beds are too short and it looks odd. But I do like them manicured.



Suzi, Ive got a zoom meeting/catch up with the team I work with at the hospital in a mo, the. Its study...

----------

Stella180 (05-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

Nails look fab! Definitely pace with the meeting and study please?

----------


## Paula

Ill be fine  :O:

----------


## Suzi

How's it going?

----------


## Paula

Well, Ive done the reading I planned to do but halfway through my body took over and I fell asleep for 2 hours!

----------


## Stella180

Me too!

----------


## Suzi

That was my plan, but it didn't happen! I'm planning an earlier night...

----------


## Paula

Si and I have had a lovely morning at a nearby antiques centre (well, I did - Si just came along for the ride). I am absolutely shattered but totally worth it

----------


## Stella180

Si was there to carry the credit card lol. Did you buy anything nice?

----------


## Suzi

OO Sounds like fun!

----------


## Paula

Art nouveau vase  :):

----------

OldMike (09-08-20)

----------


## Stella180

Wow! Nice.

----------

Paula (08-08-20)

----------


## magie06

That is beautiful.

----------

Paula (08-08-20)

----------


## Paula

Im really struggling with the heat. Today, I went out for a coffee with a friend and I definitely wasnt my sparkly self. I couldnt wait to get home. Yesterday, I snapped at Si - Ive been flaring lots and my foot was burning. He just said that its the heat, and my stroppy response was knowing what it is doesnt make it hurt less! At this rate, everyone who loves me is going to put me in a room and leave me there.

----------


## Stella180

Not good mate. hot bothered and in pain is enough to make anyone snappy.

----------


## Suzi

I sympathise. I'm also snappy too. The heat is too much for me...

----------


## Paula

Once upon a time I was a heat freak - Id spend every moment I could sunbathing. Not so much now

----------


## Suzi

Ewww, definitely not for me - although we were at the beach or in our pool at home (not a proper one, just one Dad put up each year cursing us as he did it and waited for it to fill)... My Mum used to like sitting in the sun though. Although not so much now.

----------


## Paula

I permanently looked like a native from the Mediterranean. But CRPS doesnt appreciate sun, so the slight hint of colour Ive got at the moment is it (and more attributed to freckles joining up than anything else  :O: )

----------


## Strugglingmum

It's not quite so hot here but still too warm for comfort..think mine has more to do with menopause than anything though... A says I'm like a boiler on full. 
Theres a thought, Stella I could come heat your home for you... no bother then. Well actually I probably am just as prone to malfunction..... I definitely backfire!! :(rofl):

----------

Stella180 (11-08-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

:(rofl):

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):   :(rofl):  I have no thermostat control - I can't regulate my own temperature at all which is rubbish.. 

What's on your agenda for you today Princess Sparkles?

----------


## Stella180

> Theres a thought, Stella I could come heat your home for you... no bother then. Well actually I probably am just as prone to malfunction..... I definitely backfire!!


I can’t move without backfiring so we’d make a right pair.

----------


## Paula

> What's on your agenda for you today Princess Sparkles?


Im off to see my best friend for the first time in ages! Her birthday is in March so shell be getting a very belated birthday present  :):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sounds lovely. Enjoy.

----------


## Stella180

Have a great time with your bestie.

----------


## Suzi

Did you have a good time love?

----------


## Paula

It was lovely. We sat in the shade in the garden and put the world to rights. I really, really love that woman and have missed her so much! I am shattered now though - the heat is rather draining .....

----------


## Suzi

So glad you had a great time!  :):

----------

Flo (11-08-20),Paula (11-08-20)

----------


## Flo

> I have no thermostat control - I can't regulate my own temperature at all which is rubbish.. 
> 
> What's on your agenda for you today Princess Sparkles?


Well I've got no filter! so we'll make a good team!! :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

We sure do love  :O:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Glad you enjoyed your time. Heat's crazy though

----------


## Suzi

What's on your agenda today?

----------


## Paula

Hospital team zoom meeting, then lots of cross stitch. Im banning myself from any revision until we get back from Bath  :O:

----------


## Strugglingmum

I was on a zoom class this morning and also used the time to stitch on the pockets to the pocket shawl I'm making

----------

Flo (12-08-20),Paula (12-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like a good plan Paula. 
Nicely done SM  :):

----------


## magie06

When are you going to Bath?

----------


## Paula

Sunday  :):

----------


## Suzi

You're going to have a great time! Do you have any plans?

----------


## Paula

Were going to the Giggling Squid for dinner Sunday and (as Im such a caring wife) on Monday, which is our anniversary, were going to what Jess and Si called the best pizza place in the world. Even though I do not like pizza! Were also visiting the Roman Baths on Monday. Other than that, were going to play it by ear as Ill really be pushing myself anxiety wise

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like you've lovely things planned! You'll be fine. You and Si have got this!

----------

Paula (13-08-20)

----------


## Stella180

The Giggling Squid lol. That is a fab restaurant name.

----------


## OldMike

> We’re going to the Giggling Squid for dinner Sunday and (as I’m such a caring wife) on Monday, which is our anniversary, we’re going to what Jess and Si called the ‘best pizza place in the world’. Even though I do not like pizza! We’re also visiting the Roman Baths on Monday. Other than that, we’re going to play it by ear as I’ll really be pushing myself anxiety wise


Shock horror you don't like pizza but everyone likes pizza  :O:   :(giggle): 

The Giggling Squid made me giggle have a great time which I'm sure you will.

----------


## Paula

Pizza is just dough with a bit of garnish

----------


## Strugglingmum

> Pizza is just dough with a bit of garnish


Have to saying agree, not a big lover of pizza. Now give me a good burger.....

----------


## Paula

What a nightmare. Katie spent the evening with us, she sets off for home and comes across a dead cat. Shes in bits and Si is having to go 20 miles to the nearest emergency vets......

----------


## Stella180

Ermmm, why take it to the vet if it’s dead? Bit late for that.

----------


## Paula

To get the chip read To notify the owners

----------


## Suzi

Oh poor Katie! That's so sad, but the owners will be forever grateful that they at least will be able to know what happened to their pet because of her and Si. 
Hope you've a gentler, easier day planned?

----------


## Paula

Nope. Packing today  :(party):

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo!

----------


## Flo

What a great name! Giggling Squid!...there is/was a pub in Salisbury called The Slurping Toad. Haha...enjoy yourself in Bath.

----------

Paula (15-08-20)

----------


## Stella180

> To get the chip read To notify the owners


Of course, doh.

----------


## Paula

Well, were home! We had a truly lovely few days in Bath, I completely blew the diet and ate whatever I wanted, we visited the Roman Baths and Bath Abbey, sat in parks eating ice cream and sat next to each other reading our books. Bliss  :): 

Now to get back on the diet lol

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like a lovely time. I'm really pleased for you x

----------


## Flo

Over already? Those few days went quickly...but glad you had a good time!

----------


## Jaquaia

So glad you had a lovely time!

----------


## Stella180

Sounds ideal. Glad you had a lovely time.

----------


## Strugglingmum

> Well, were home! We had a truly lovely few days in Bath, I completely blew the diet and ate whatever I wanted, we visited the Roman Baths and Bath Abbey, sat in parks eating ice cream and sat next to each other reading our books. Bliss 
> 
> Now to get back on the diet lol



Sounds idyllic. X

----------


## Suzi

Are you resting today or being really busy?

----------


## Paula

Trying to decide whether to revise or do some cross stitch. Regardless, Ill be resting my leg  :O:

----------


## Suzi

You sore? Overdone it muchly I imagine....

----------


## Paula

Hugely muchly. Totally worth it tho  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Awesome!  :):  I totally get that!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Enjoy whatever you get up to. Maybe a bit of both?

----------


## Paula

I had a letter from my pharmacy today. From April next year, Priadel (the brand of lithium I take) are being discontinued. So, Im going to have to change to another brand. Unfortunately, though, different brands of lithium dont necessarily have equal levels of lithium in them, so the change may be a bit of a pita until they work out whats going to work for me.....

----------


## Stella180

Ugh, I hate brand changes and it sounds like this particular one is gonna be especially awkward for you.

----------


## Suzi

Oh no, that's a complete pita! Hope it's an easy swap for you though x

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hopefully the change over wont be too bad for you. When I was on lithium the chemist wasnt able to get my brand once but they were able to get whatever was known to be closest to it and my levels were ok. It may take a bit of adjustment and more regular blood tests for a few weeks till it settles

----------

Paula (22-08-20)

----------


## Paula

Soooooooooo, this Friday, we are going to visit a potential friend for Jax! Shes apparently little, black and a bit of a minx  :O: 

https://www.greyhoundlifeline.co.uk/adopt/demi-2/

But, its not a done deal. Si has insisted that hes not yet definitely agreeing to getting another dog, only to visit her .....

----------


## Strugglingmum

:(happy): 
Oooooo exciting. Sooooo just like Jax was only to be fostered? :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Im hoping so  :(giggle):

----------


## OldMike

I'm sure Si can be persuaded that Jax really REALLY needs a friend  :O:

----------


## Stella180

She sounds like she could be a bit of a handful but she’s a cuddle monster and I’m pretty sure that is what piqued you’re interest

----------


## Suzi

She sounds like so much fun and a great companion to Jax!  :):

----------


## Paula

> She sounds like she could be a bit of a handful but shes a cuddle monster and Im pretty sure that is what piqued youre interest


Absolutely!

Stella and I had a conversation yesterday - much as I love him and hes the sweetest soul, Jax is definitely Sis dog and I dont get cuddles and attention. Im hoping Demi will remedy that, even Jess is feeling sorry for me!  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Aww so why are you waiting till Friday?

----------


## EJ

Paula I’m on Priadel too and I haven’t been informed about this change. Perhaps they will let me know soon ? I take two 400mg and one 200mg at night. This is very interesting. Maybe I will get in touch with my GP on Monday. I will do my own research too.

----------


## Paula

> Aww so why are you waiting till Friday?


So the girls can go with us




> Paula Im on Priadel too and I havent been informed about this change. Perhaps they will let me know soon ? I take two 400mg and one 200mg at night. This is very interesting. Maybe I will get in touch with my GP on Monday. I will do my own research too.


I got a letter from the pharmacy (Boots) who do my repeats. Id imagine youll be notified soon

----------


## Suzi

I hope she works out - or that you find someone different  :O:

----------

Paula (22-08-20)

----------


## Paula

Eurgh. Ive just revised 3 units of study. My brain and my eyes hurt .....

----------


## Stella180

Feet up, cuppa and Lucifer now then.

----------


## Suzi

Absolutely rest now!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Definitely a well deserved break due but well done.

----------


## Paula

> Feet up, cuppa and Lucifer now then.


Ive finished....... 

Ive also managed to twist my bad knee - getting onto the sofa  :Surprised:

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! Is it OK? Are you resting it?

----------


## Stella180

How could they end it like that? Great fight scene though.

Make sure you take it easy with that knee

----------


## Suzi

No spoilers!!!!

----------


## Stella180

Hurry up and catch up then bird. It’s ace.

----------

Suzi (24-08-20)

----------


## Paula

Its only a mid season break, thankfully

Suzi, Im resting it. Its quite sore, you know when you do something and feel sick?.....

----------


## Suzi

I know that feeling all too well... How is it today?

----------


## Paula

Sore but not vomit inducing sore.

Today has not gone to plan. I intended to revise until my nail appt at 3. Overslept, then couldnt keep my eyes open so have dithered all morning.....

----------


## Stella180

You clearly needed to rest up.

----------


## Paula

Probably  :O:

----------


## Strugglingmum

> Sore but not vomit inducing sore.
> 
> Today has not gone to plan. I intended to revise until my nail appt at 3. Overslept, then couldn’t keep my eyes open so have dithered all morning.....


Obviously what you needed. Pain is so draining.  Knee easier today?

----------


## Stella180

> Probably


No probably about it. It won’t hurt you to have a chill out day as well as some pampering.

----------


## Suzi

So, have you paced the rest of the day?

----------


## Paula

Ive been pampered - nails and toes looking all pretty again  :O: . My knee is fine, a little sore but nothing I cant deal with

----------

Suzi (25-08-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's fab. Pampering should come on prescription.

----------


## Paula

Hell yeah  :O:

----------


## Paula

So, Ive done 2 mocks today and got 86% and 91% respectively. So, hopefully, Im ready for the real thing tomorrow.  Brain is fried......

----------


## Stella180

Of course you’re ready. You’ve got this!

----------

Paula (27-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

I have every faith in you! You've got this!!

----------

Paula (27-08-20)

----------


## Paula

Having a minor wobble. Sis boss is leaving tomorrow - hes been made redundant. Si reckons hell know next week where the jobs are that he might be ok to apply for in BG - but I dont think he really wants to stay so may take redundancy. He thinks hed be there til the end of the year and weve got savings so hes got time to decide next steps, and hes really chilled about it. Me, not so much but Im trying to be ....

----------


## Suzi

I know that's seriously scary, but trust Si. He's not going to do something that's going to drop you in it.. He's sensible. Talk to him. Tell him how you are feeling...

----------

Paula (27-08-20),Stella180 (27-08-20),Strugglingmum (27-08-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda: 
I know the worries. Xx

----------


## Paula

Exam and demi day!!!

----------


## EJ

I hope the exams go well Paula xx

----------

Paula (28-08-20)

----------


## Stella180

I’m not Gonna wish you Luck cos you don’t need it. I am happy to share my positive vibes and confidence in your ability.

----------


## Jaquaia

You'll nail it!

----------


## Flo

Of course she will Jaq!

----------


## Strugglingmum

You've got this!!

----------


## Suzi

Demi day? 

You've got this completely!

----------


## Paula

Exam done! Think it went ok - Ill get an email in the near future

Were meeting Demi at 4pm  :):

----------


## Suzi

Ahh of course, Demi day!! Hope it goes brilliantly!

Well done on the exam, I'm sure you aced it!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Brilliant.  Well done Paula. Hope this afternoon goes well..... you know, just going for a look :O:

----------


## Paula

Exactly  :O:

----------


## Stella180

I hope Demi is as wonderful in person as she is on paper. Is Jax allowed to go on a blind date to meet her or does he have to wait.

----------


## Paula

Hes coming with us  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Hope the meetup is going well.....

----------


## EJ

Just realised Demi is a dog ! I hope that you had a fantastic meet-up xx

----------


## Paula

It went really well! Shes coming home with us on Monday  :):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Fabulous news. Xx
I love it when you go just to look.  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

That's fabulous! So she got on well with Jax?

----------


## Stella180

Wow! Your taking her home? Well I never saw that coming...much. You do realise that youve taken on Luna and Polo clones right?

----------


## Paula

> Wow! Your taking her home? Well I never saw that coming...much. You do realise that youve taken on Luna and Polo clones right?


Yeah, and when we saw them racing each other it really brought lumps to our throats......


In other news, my results are in. 88/100  :(party): . What a good day its been  :O:

----------



----------


## Stella180

Woohoo! New snuggle pup and excellent exam results. Lots of reason to celebrate this weekend.

----------

Paula (28-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

I couldn't be prouder of you! Well done lovely!

----------

Paula (28-08-20)

----------


## Paula

So, because Im a glutton, Ive signed up for two more units - Old Testament 2 and Doctrine 2  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

> In other news, my results are in. 88/100 . What a good day its been


Told you so  :O:

----------

Paula (29-08-20)

----------


## Flo

> So, because I’m a glutton, I’ve signed up for two more units - Old Testament 2 and Doctrine 2


Well done you! Religious studies is such an interesting subject! :(clap):

----------

Paula (29-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

It's nothing to do with being a glutton, you've signed up because you enjoy it!  :): 

How are you today?

----------


## OldMike

A friend for Jax and more studying what could be better  :):

----------


## Paula

Im tired Suzi, yesterday was a lot. But Ill have an easy day today. Tomorrow were going out for dinner with the kids  :):

----------

Suzi (29-08-20)

----------


## EJ

Well done Paula xx

----------

Paula (29-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

How's your "easy" day gone love?

----------


## Paula

My sinuses are hurting which is making my eyes sting, so not as relaxing as Id hoped lol

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):  Sinus pain sucks...

----------


## Paula

Its not something Ive had a lot of before.  So not fun......  Still, Ive been looking at my next 2 units of study and they look awesome  :):

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you're enjoying the study!

How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Still a bit sore but Ive put my contacts in rather than wearing my glasses, and thats helped a bit. My eyes are bloodshot- nice look  :O:

----------


## Suzi

How has your day been?

----------


## Stella180

Eek, contacts! You’re braver than I am.

----------


## Paula

Quiet. But were going out for dinner with the kids in a bit - though Ive had a hell of a headache all day

----------


## Suzi

Hope the headache lifts love...

----------


## Stella180

Have a lovely evening with the family.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope the headache has lifted enough for you to enjoy your night out.  X

----------


## Jaquaia

Hope you have a lovely evening!

----------


## Paula

It was lovely. And the more time I spend with Dom, the more convinced I am that he fits right in our family  :): . My girl chose well.

However, the headache, sinus pain, sore eyes hasnt gone anywhere. Im wondering whether it has anything to do with my IIH....

----------

Suzi (31-08-20)

----------


## Stella180

I was going to ask if  it was the IIH. It would make sense.

----------


## Paula

Ill have to see how I go the next few days. The consultant did say I should contact them if it got any symptoms .....

----------


## Paula

Demis home! Shes an absolute darling and her and Jax are getting on like a house on fire  :):

----------

Jaquaia (31-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

YAY! Happy Demi day!  :):

----------


## Paula

Its not taken long......  :O:

----------


## Stella180

She looks completely at home. So where do you and Si get to sleep cos looks like and dogs have commandeered the bed.

----------


## Paula

Jax knows his bedtime is downstairs, lets hope Demi takes note!

----------


## Strugglingmum

How are you feeling today Paula? Hows the head?

----------


## Paula

Not great. Ive slept most of the afternoon. Also, although its more likely to be IIH related imo, I am involved in the Kings College covid study and, because of my symptoms, theyve asked me and the household to have covid tests, just in case.

----------


## Stella180

Oh sounds like fun for you all. Is Demi giving you lots of puppy cuddles?

----------


## Paula

Yes, shes not put her head in my lap yet but weve been told she thinks shes a Chihuahua in that respect so its only time  :):

----------


## Stella180

I’m glad you have someone to snuggle with. Puppy cuddles make the world a better place.

----------

Paula (31-08-20)

----------


## Suzi

Awww! I'm being Crashed atm, he's suddenly come back to me after being Marc's for such a long time... But he likes to snuggle with anyone who'll allow it!

----------


## Paula

Bless him  :):

----------


## Suzi

Lol, The 3 seater sofa fits 1 Suzi, 1 Crash and 1 Marc perched on the edge playing a game.... lol

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Stella180

Stop taking up all the space then Suzi lol

----------


## Suzi

It's OK I got off the sofa lol... Back on it now  :):

----------


## Stella180

He’s a big dog, he deserves a sofa to himself.

----------


## Suzi

Lol  :(rofl):   :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

After a little issue last night (wee on the carpet), Demi spent the entire night sleeping on a dog bed in our bedroom. She didnt wake us once  :): . What was really sweet is, when he heard the commotion, Jax came upstairs and touched noses with Demi - like he was reassuring her

Although Im still not feeling great, I think Im going to start my new study today

----------


## Suzi

Aww a little wee is to be expected really.. So glad that she and Jax are getting on so brilliantly x

Are you sure studying is a good idea? You've still got a headache? Did you have the covid test? When do you get the results? Does that mean you're all self isolating until you hear?

----------


## Paula

Yeah, weve forgiven her already - even if it was after midnight  :(snooze): .

Im not sure studying is a good idea, but am hoping itll distract me
Still got a headache, and neck ache
Were doing home test and they said next day delivery so hopefully today. 
Results back within 72 hours but probably next day
Yep, were self isolating - Jess isnt going into work and Cleaners been cancelled

----------


## Suzi

If it isn't covid and it is IIH what exactly does that mean? Is there a different treatment?
Sorry about the self isolation....

----------


## Paula

I dont know and I dont think my consultant knows either - but weve got to wait til the sleep study anyway

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):   :(bear):   :(bear):

----------


## Paula

All the time Ive had no real symptoms, its been easy to not think about it itms. If this is what this is, its going to affect my life significantly

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni, what else can be done?

----------


## Paula

Im going to email the neurology secretary to ask her to let my consultant know the changes, and see what he says

----------


## Suzi

Sensible decision lovely x

----------


## Stella180

Sounds like the right thing to do

----------


## Paula

Another photo #sorrynotsorry

----------

Stella180 (01-09-20)

----------


## Suzi

Awwww!

----------


## Stella180

Keep them coming. Can’t beat puppy porn lol

----------


## EJ

They are gorgeous - I don't usually like dogs

----------


## Paula

> They are gorgeous - I don't usually like dogs


Greyhounds are literally the King of dogs. For many centuries only royalty were allowed to own them!

----------


## Stella180

Princess Sparkles is allowed them.

----------


## Flo

Pharaohs had greyhounds too! Wonderful doggies!

----------

Paula (02-09-20)

----------


## Suzi

Morning love, how are you doing?
How are Jax and Demi doing?

----------


## Paula

Jax and Demi are doing great. They really get along, thankfully. She is, however, a little bit of a mischief and Ive got a feeling shell be teaching him bad habits......

As for me, I spoke to the Neurologist this morning. He sees no reason why we should self isolate as my history, and my symptoms, scream IIH not covid. He wants someone to have a look, urgently, at my eyes so has suggested the opticians will be a lot quicker than outpatients - Ive got an appointment Saturday.

----------


## Stella180

What has Demi been up to then?

----------


## Paula

Shoes, cushions etc relocated, digging up the lawn - thats just for starters  :(giggle):

----------


## Stella180

Oh dear. She will learn some manners and maybe Jax will be a good influence rather than her being a bad one.

----------


## Suzi

Naughty Demi lol...

Glad you've spoken to your neurologist and that you're being seen on Saturday.  :(bear):  :(bear):

----------


## Flo

Hahaha!.....maybe change the name to DemO(lition) not Demi! She sounds a happy soul.

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's great about the optician. 

Demi sounds like a real minx..... love it!!

----------


## Paula

Feeling decidedly under the weather tonight - Ive had a headache all evening, and my neck hurts  :(:

----------


## Stella180

Demi cuddles and bed for you madam and no more screen time tonight.

----------


## Paula

Ill definitely be taking it easy today...

----------


## Suzi

You still feeling bad? Is it easier lying down?

----------


## Paula

It fluctuates all day. It is easier lying down but I dont want to do that all day lol. At the moment my head is throbbing in the background, theres pressure back of my eyes and top of my nose itms. Im getting intermittent blurred vision too. But its the headaches that are bugging me the most - and if theyre getting through all the painkillers Im on.......

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh love, I wish I had a remedy for you... Pacing and taking it easy I assume?

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Paula

Ive been doing bits and pieces around the house to limit the amount of screen time I have - nothing too strenuous.

----------


## Suzi

Feeling any better for it?

----------


## Paula

Ive actually been asleep most of the afternoon, so Ill have to get back to you on that  :O:

----------


## Suzi

You obviously needed it!

----------


## Paula

Grrr Ive always been a fan of NEXTs online service but I have spent goodness knows how long trying to have an online chat with them to report a faulty item. You cant get hold of them on the phone, theres a 10 minute queue just to get a chat session, which kept dropping out and meant having to start a new one - with yet another 10 minute queue! Im exhausted ......

----------


## Suzi

I hate things like that!

----------


## Paula

:(party):  I was woken up by a doggie snuggling up with me, this morning!!!

----------

OldMike (04-09-20),Stella180 (04-09-20)

----------


## Suzi

Aww that's so lovely! 
How are you feeling today hunni?

----------


## Stella180

That’s the best way to be woken up.

----------


## Paula

Im ok. Having my hair done soon and mum and dad are coming later!!

----------


## Stella180

Sounds like you have the perfect day planned.

----------


## Suzi

Oh yay! A Mum and Dad visit! Hooray!

----------


## Flo

Have a lovely day!

----------


## Paula

So, the new org charts came out for Sis job. There are 4 people across BG and Hive at his level who will be competing for 1 job....apparently theyll all be evaluated by HR and the one with the most points will get the job. No one can be made redundant until 31 October so thats how long we have to wait to find out

I know were fortunate in that his payout will give us a bit of breathing space, but Im finding it hard not to freak out.....

----------


## Stella180

4 into 1 doesn’t go. The odds are against him but he could be the lucky one if being the man left doing the job of 4 is considered lucky. I’m sure Si will find something else pretty quick.

----------


## Suzi

That's horribly stressful! I assume he's already looking elsewhere - but he could be the one with the right numbers.....

----------


## Paula

He could, Im not sure he wants it.....

----------


## Strugglingmum

Im sorry Paula. I know this stress only too well. Its our story too. Xx :Panda:

----------


## Flo

Everything crossed for Si.....let's hope it works in his favour. Doesn't stop you worry though.

----------


## Suzi

I assume you guys are trying to talk things through with him about it?

----------


## Paula

Yeah, as much as he ever does....

----------


## Suzi

Oh  :(:  How are you doing with it all? Are you talking? Planning? Job hunting for him? Or just quietly bottling it all up inside?

----------


## Paula

Ermmmm he says hes got his cv out there and hes talking to contacts. Its likely hell be there til the end of the year, and he knows what his package is likely to be, what our savings are and how long itll last. Other than that, you know what hes like....

----------


## Stella180

So he’s done pretty much all he can do. Sounds like he’s got everything covered. I totally get that the uncertainty is a nightmare but it’s all out of your control for now.

----------


## Suzi

He's sensible enough and will have all bases covered.. 

How are you feeling atm? Still having IIH symptoms?

----------


## Paula

Intermittently. Currently, my nose feels like somethings pressing down on it.

----------


## Stella180

How did your eye appointment go?

----------


## Suzi

Just to update you all, Paula has been sent to A+E as her pressures are really high and her pupils are really sluggish. She's struggling with anxiety so they are allowing Si to remain with her. She has been triaged and moved into AAU. 
I'll update when I hear things, but I've just told her to put her phone away and ask Si to update me as and when....

----------

OldMike (07-09-20)

----------


## Stella180

Oh no! That’s not good.

----------


## Suzi

She's being looked after which is the main thing..

----------


## Stella180

Yeah but even so I can totally get why she’s fretting. This wasn’t what she expected. I have a bit of a thing about my eyes so I think I’m freaking out on her behalf but as you say, she’s in the right place to be looked after.

----------


## EJ

Sorry to hear this as she is such a brave lady.

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Just leaving some hugs for you Paula. Thinking of you :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Just to update you all I have just had a message from the lovely Si (Mr Paula) and she is staying in hospital tonight and having a ct scan and a lumbar puncture. 
I'll update more as I know it.

----------


## Stella180

That doesn’t sound great but thoughts are with Paula at this time.

----------


## Allalone

:Panda:

----------


## Flo

Oh no bless her!...much love from me. But she's in the right place and she's got a wonderful husband. :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

I haven't heard anything else yet, will update when I can. Will pass on all your love and thoughts.

----------


## Suzi

Paula was admitted last night, but didn't get to the ward until 3 am this morning so is exhausted. She has seen the neurologist. They are going to do a lumbar puncture with sedation as she will have to be on her side, so she will be in for at least 1 more night. I have sent her all your love and best wishes x

Si hasn't been able to stay with her and has had to make an appointment to bring her clothes in this morning which she's finding amusing!

----------

Allalone (06-09-20),Flo (06-09-20),OldMike (07-09-20),Stella180 (06-09-20)

----------


## EJ

:Panda: I hope that the treatment will be successful. X

----------

Suzi (06-09-20)

----------


## Paula

Just wanted to stop by and say hi! Havent yet had my lumbar puncture but have had a blood thinning injection - forgot how much they hurt lol. Im fine, my anxiety was high last night but Ive been absolutely ok today and really not worried about it. The lumbar puncture will reduce the pressure and, although its not pleasant, I should be able to go home afterwards.  And Ive made friends with a 93 yo lady (who looks at least 70 years younger) who is now throwing insults my way - just like at home  :):

----------

OldMike (07-09-20),Strugglingmum (06-09-20),Suzi (06-09-20)

----------


## Stella180

Swill they let you out straight after the procedure on will you have to stay another night?

----------


## Suzi

Paula is still waiting on the lumbar puncture currently..

----------


## Stella180

I’d be climbing the walls by this time. I’m not the most patient person but being stuck in hospital instead of being at home would seriously do my head in.

----------


## Jaquaia

Huge hugs  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Nah, she's making friends with the lady in the next bed lol - they'll be singing along to all the Salvation Army classics by the nights out....

----------


## Strugglingmum

> Just wanted to stop by and say hi! Havent yet had my lumbar puncture but have had a blood thinning injection - forgot how much they hurt lol. Im fine, my anxiety was high last night but Ive been absolutely ok today and really not worried about it. The lumbar puncture will reduce the pressure and, although its not pleasant, I should be able to go home afterwards.  And Ive made friends with a 93 yo lady (who looks at least 70 years younger) who is now throwing insults my way - just like at home


Look after you lovely lady.  Glad you are more relaxed. Love an older lady with a bit of banter..... that will be me some day.  :Hedgehog:

----------


## Flo

So pleased you're ok and will be coming home soon. :(y):

----------


## OldMike

Things are happening so fast one minute you're home then next you're in hospital, hope they sort you out soon Paula in the meantime I'll leave you these  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

She hasn't had the lumbar puncture yet, but she's doing OK.

----------


## Flo

Jolly good!

----------


## Suzi

Paula has now had the lumbar puncture and needs to see the neurologist tomorrow. She's still in good spirits although sore and woozy..

----------


## OldMike

Thanks for the update Suzy please send Paula these from me  :(bear):   :Panda:  x10 as you can never have enough pandas.

----------


## Suzi

I shall do indeed!

----------


## Flo

Awwww.... let's hope she'll soon be home.xx

----------


## Suzi

She's being allowed home today!

----------


## Stella180

:(party):  She’s coming home 
She’s coming home 
She’s coming
Paula’s coming home  :(party):

----------


## EJ

That’s fantastic news x

----------


## EJ

That’s fantastic news x

----------


## OldMike

Woo hoo Paula's coming home  :(party):

----------


## Paula

Hi guys, I got home about 7 last night. Lumbar puncture has left me feeling a bit rough but itll pass. My pressures were very high - high is over 25, I was at 60. Im on new meds and will follow up with neurologist in clinic.  Im so grateful the optician sent me up to a&e and the amazing nhs really looked after me  :): . I cant sit upright for long so wont be around much as its a bit difficult typing lying down  :O:  but will talk soon

----------

OldMike (10-09-20)

----------


## Stella180

I bet it felt good to be back in your own bed again and have your family around you. I’m glad you don’t need telling to rest up for sorry it’s cos you’re uncomfortable. Hope you’re back to full power again soon.

----------


## Suzi

Good to see you're home, and even better to see you're taking it slowly and gently!

----------


## Jaquaia

Good to see you back!

----------


## Strugglingmum

Glad you are home and taking it easy. Hope you get some relief from new meds.

----------


## EJ

Good to see you Paula. I hope the new meds begin to work for you xx

----------


## Flo

Lovely that you're home again Paula. Nothing like home to get you better quicker.

----------


## OldMike

Glad you're home Paula  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda: 
Just leaving some get well wishes here for you lovely lady. Xx

----------


## Suzi

Paula's still feeling quite rough, and is meant to be spending most of her time lying down which she is finding frustrating and boring!  :):

----------


## Stella180

It’s funny cos the thought of lying down and being waited on is quite appealing until you HAVE to do it. Hope you feel better soon Paula. Missing you.

----------


## Angie

Hope your on your feet quickly sweetie, much love xxx

----------


## Paula

Hi everyone! Ive been upright longer than horizontal this morning AND Ive managed to put makeup on. Its been horrible but I seem to be on the mend! I dont recall my previous lumbar puncture making me as ill as this. 

Im not sure how much Im going to be able to catch up on today, but Ill do my best  :O:  its just good to see you all

----------


## Angie

Its good to see you hunni and glad your on the mend but please please dont over do it xxx

----------


## Jaquaia

Good to see you!

----------


## Stella180

Yay! Good to see you back chick. Make sure you don’t over do it and end up horizontal again.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Lovely to see you Princess.  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Lovely to see you here love! Do not push yourself!!!

----------


## Paula

As if Id do that  :(think): . Seriously, Im going to lie in the garden this afternoon and read a book  :): 

I got a call today and I need to go to hospital first thing tomorrow to pick up the equipment for my sleep study.

----------

Strugglingmum (14-09-20)

----------


## Stella180

So your going to have an uncomfortable night tomorrow then lol

----------


## Suzi

How was lying in the garden?

----------


## Paula

I didnt stay out there long, it wasnt as warm as they promised. And Ive spent half the day on the phone to my pharmacist and my doctor trying to get my prescription for Amitriptyline - which I ordered on 3rd. Sorted now but I had none left so slightly stressed

----------


## Stella180

I hate it when that happens. I got it all the time with my inhaler and it drives me nuts

----------


## Suzi

It was really hot here  :(:  
Glad you've got it sorted with the ami...

----------


## EJ

Sorry Paula that you had to sort your meds out. I have an appointment with the pharmacist tomorrow. I hope you are recovering from your stay in hospital ?

----------


## Suzi

Morning love, how's the sitting going?

----------


## Flo

Hi Paula.....it was here yesterday!...hope you're mending well.

----------


## Paula

Was up at the hospital early this morning to pickup kit and instructions for sleep study tonight. I got home and had to lie down for 2 hours - Im trying to be upright as much as I can but its still a WIP.

----------


## Angie

It will come hunni take as much time as needed xx

----------


## Strugglingmum

Take your time and do what your body tells you. X

----------


## Suzi

Exactly, please, please, please be kind to you x

----------


## OldMike

Paula not sure what a 'WIP' is but hope you soon become 'WIPless' does that even make sense are best leave one of these  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

lol work in progress  :O:

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing lovely?

----------


## Paula

Got a headache still but ok. Im feeling up to doing something but I dont think studying would be helpful, or cross stitch so I might try some needle felting.

----------


## Suzi

How's the felting going?

----------


## Paula

Erm, I decided to watch Grease instead  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Good plan!  :):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sounds perfect :O:

----------


## Suzi

How was today?

----------


## Paula

Ive had such a headache all day. Im really hacked off with this

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Angie

Awww sweetie xxx

----------


## Suzi

Is the headache due to the removal of fluid? Of you sitting up more? Fluid increasing again? 

How's the new medication doing?

----------


## Paula

Unfortunately, the headache now feels more like it did before my LP - so I think the pressure has already built up. But Si and I agreed to see how it goes for a bit. Ive got a blood test today as the new meds potentially interacts with lithium. In terms of how its doing, given current evidence, Im thinking not so well.....

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh love, you must be so frustrated - especially after how poorly the LP has made you. Is it worth calling the neuro and at least keeping them in the loop?

----------


## Paula

I might ask the nurse at my blood test later

----------


## Stella180

I’m really not liking any of this. I hate that you are going through this  :(:

----------


## Angie

Oh hunni xx

----------


## Suzi

What did the nurse say?

----------


## Paula

That she couldnt take my blood as, now my lithium is split doses, there hadnt been 12 hours from dose to test. I should have thought of it but I spoke to reception the day after I left hospital. Ive got another appt at 9 tomorrow 

She told me to ring the neurologist when I got home. So Ive left a message with his secretary

----------


## Suzi

Oh that's frustrating! 
I assume you haven't heard anything yet from the neuro?

----------


## Paula

Not yet

----------


## Suzi

How are you feeling about it all?

----------


## Paula

Right now my head hurts so much I cant think beyond the next 5 minutes

----------


## Suzi

Then should you not be heading back to hospital?

----------


## Stella180

Please don’t be stubborn and get back to A&E If that’s what it takes to get seen asap

----------


## Mira

Please look after yourself. And if going to A&E is needed Please go. You are worth every bit of attention  :(bear):

----------

Paula (18-09-20)

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Flo

:Panda:  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

The headache is a dull one this morning. And I stupidly took my lithium so couldnt have my blood test - Ive got another appt on Monday at 8.30.

----------


## Suzi

Oh bugger! Can you set a reminder not to take it? 
Glad the headache is easier, but still keep an eye on it?

----------


## Paula

Ill move the lithium out of my morning box.

Ive spoken to the neurologist. Hes got the medical team at the hospital to agree to call me Monday to make an appointment to have another lumbar puncture - he wants to know my pressures before changing the meds. Of course, hes told me to go up to a&e if things get worse over the weekend.

----------


## Paula

Ive got an appt 8.30 Monday

----------


## Suzi

Is that the appointment for the LP?

----------


## Stella180

Another lumber puncture!? Ah mate that sucks. There’s not a single thing about any of this that I like. Well maybe how strong you are dealing with all this. I know I’d be a complete wreck.

----------


## Paula

> Is that the appointment for the LP?


Yep and theyre going to do my lithium bloods too, so I dont have to worry about that.

Stella, I dont like this either, and Si is even more  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: ed off. But it is what it is and at least Im getting awesome care, with a neurologist who is very proactive. It could be a lot worse

----------


## Suzi

How do you feel about another LP when you aren't fully recovered yet from the last one.... Is Si worried?

----------


## Paula

I dont like it but Im struggling and the doctor wont change my meds until he knows for sure what my pressures are doing. Si is concerned that we seem to be flailing in the dark but that is the nature of this condition, because no one really knows what causes it

----------


## Suzi

I can see Si's pov, but your neuro seems to be doing what is best. Changing meds without knowing what's going on seems like flailing to me, at least this way - although it's really horrible for you - you/they know what they are dealing with....

----------


## Stella180

I totally get where Si is coming from. It’s worrying when you have to go through a big procedure like an LP twice in two weeks without having an answer. I know the potential consequences of not getting this under control which is why it scares me but as you say you are getting good care which is all anyone can ask and that’s a positive. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Just leaving you some love and hugs. Xx :Panda:

----------

Paula (22-09-20)

----------


## Flo

Me too! :Panda:

----------

Paula (22-09-20)

----------


## Paula

Well, yesterday was interesting. Mid morning 2 doctors came to see me to do the lumbar puncture - one of which was an consultant anaesthetist who had specialising in childbirth, ie epidurals which is essentially the same procedure as LP. Because the focus was on getting an accurate pressure reading, rather than draining the fluid, I had to lay on my side rather than sitting up. Laying on my side and curling into a ball is really hard because of my dodgy leg.

Despite many attempts, neither of them were able to find the space between my vertebrae and both managed to nick some vertebrae and nerves, which is as painful as it sounds. After letting me rest and have some lunch, another doctor came to see me. He did manage to find the right space but also went through a vein, which bled a lot and blood got into the tube - which stopped much CSF fluid getting into the tube and meant they couldnt get an accurate reading though the doctor thinks my pressures are ok. They decided to stop mucking about and leave it up to the neurologist to decided whether he wants another try but with ultrasound or X-ray.

I thought that was the end of the saga. But my lithium results came back in the afternoon. Turns out my new meds had caused my lithium levels to increase above safe levels and I need to reduce my lithium dose - and lithium toxicity symptoms can mimic IIH symptoms.......

Im very sore and a little bit traumatised but thatll pass. I may not forgive Si for pointing out that, if I hadnt taken my lithium at the wrong time on Friday, I probably wouldnt have had to have a lumbar puncture at all :/

----------


## Stella180

Ok so me being me, what do I take from this story. A little bit traumatised but that’ll pass. No no no!!! I’m not having that. You have a right to shout and scream and be upset by 3 doctors failing to carry out the procedure correctly and efficiently causing you pain and distress. You are entitled to be concerned about the toxicity levels in your body and the consequences of that. This isn’t just a petty mild annoyance and fobbing it off with terms like “it’s fine” “it is what it is” and “it’ll pass” don’t wash with me. What you have been through is real and “a little bit” traumatic. To ignore the validity of that with BS positivity can actually be damaging.

----------

Paula (22-09-20)

----------


## Paula

While I get what youre saying, the reason the doctors had issues was because I was unable to get in the right position because of my leg. No, Im not saying it was my fault, just that my condition made a difficult procedure harder. Its not BS positivity, its my way of coping with all the crap Ive had to deal with over the years. Shouting and screaming about it is just not my way - that would just make life harder for me. I am worried about the toxic levels but my dose has been reduced and, hopefully, my next blood test next week will show an improvement.

----------


## Stella180

There is positive and there is glossing over it. You are allowed to be upset. Did you have the same troubles with the previous LP? 

Oh and by the way, Si is right. Don’t you hate it when that happens lol

----------


## Suzi

I get it... There are procedures that are made so much more difficult for me because of my issues, doesn't mean that it's my fault either... Because of the state my lower back is in, when an anaesthetist tried giving me an epidural with Ben they hit the wrong place going in and weren't able to do it - the next top consultant anaesthetist I saw when I was pg with Hazel was horrified that someone had tried after looking at my back... He warned me never to have anything like that done without guiding via ultrasound or xray because all of my "markers" are in the wrong place. So I do understand - the same when I had my fibro diagnosis, but sometimes the shock of everything overtakes the shouting and creaming and stamping my feet.... 

What does Si think? I assume that you're bruised and sore today? Resting?

----------


## Paula

Erm, Si called them muppets (not to their faces lol) and told me I was too nice when I tried to defend the doctors..... Im very bruised and sore and am yet to get dressed so definitely resting 

Stella, Im not glossing over it but I see no point in stressing myself out by throwing a hissy fit over it. The previous LP was fine - but that was because I was allowed to be in an easier position - but one which couldnt get the exact correct pressure reading they needed this time

----------


## Suzi

Lol at Si!  :):  I assume you're being looked after at home today? Sitting or lying down?

----------


## Paula

Tried sitting but feel bruised down to my, well, seat lol. So mainly lying

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you're resting...

----------


## Stella180

No harm in being horizontal  :O:

----------


## shine

Wishing you better Paula. Sorry you have been through so much these past weeks. You are so brave. Glad you are resting now and on the road to recovery xx

----------


## Suzi

Yo Princess Sparkles, how're doing?

----------


## Paula

Sore still but not full body sore itms. Still going to take it easy today

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you're even a little less sore... 

Did you take it easy?

----------


## Paula

Yeah, Im a bit more sore this evening but Im feeling better in myself - not wanting to burst into tears at the drop of a hat. But Ill admit the last few weeks have taken a lot out of me emotionally

----------


## Jaquaia

That's not really surprising. You've had to deal with a lot!

----------


## Stella180

Of course it’s taken a lot out of you. I’d be worried if it hadn’t.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Its been quite a few weeks for you. Xx

----------


## Suzi

I completely agree with the others. Are you going to take some of your own advice and carry on with some self care?

----------


## OldMike

Just been catching up on your thread Paula what a traumatic time you've had hope you are resting and Si is pampering you.  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Hey, feeling less like a bruised pin cushion yet?

----------


## Paula

> I completely agree with the others. Are you going to take some of your own advice and carry on with some self care?


Oh no, you cant use my own words against me!

Im ok today, a little bruised and sore but tons better than I was. Ive had a lie in and Im going to try to do some study today

----------


## Suzi

I can, I have and I shall continue to do so! 

Study is fine if it's done little by little and not pushing yourself too hard....

----------

Paula (24-09-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope today goes well for you. Little by little. X

----------

Flo (24-09-20),Paula (24-09-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

It's fun when you use Suzi's words against her too  :(giggle):

----------


## Stella180

Jaq you are the queen of using a persons words against them. It’s a dirty tactic and is virtually impossible to counter.

----------


## Suzi

> It's fun when you use Suzi's words against her too


Pfft, that's just rude when you do that...

----------


## Jaquaia

:(rofl):

----------


## Paula

> Pfft, that's just rude when you do that...


Sauce for the goose and all that.

Well, either my brains not functioning on all cylinders atm or I dont get Doctrine of Man. I was to summarise sections from 2 textbooks on the Image of God (imago Dei) and halfway through the second one, the book got metaphorically (its on Kindle) thrown across the room!

----------


## Suzi

That sounds way above my level of brain function....

----------


## Paula

So, Im finding today a struggle - emotionally. And I know its been a little difficult recently so I know its not surprising..... but I need to focus on something rather than yet more resting. So its going to be a study afternoon

----------


## Suzi

What's happening emotionally? Is it a general emotion or worse than normal if you're watching something emotional emotions? itms?

----------


## Paula

Its general, if I stop to think Im going to fall apart itms. I know its just a reaction, I know itll pass, but Im not enjoying it :/

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## EJ

Offering support Paula. You are amazing as you come on here helping others me including. Sending love and support. Xx

----------

Paula (26-09-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Flo

Love and hugs from me too! :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

Pfft, it's going to be OK it's a blip. You've got this. Put some music on and cry it out if you need to.... I'm with you hugging you tight in spirit... Besides you aren't going to fall apart, I have so much gaffa tape I can stick you together... Love you chick.

----------


## Paula

> Pfft, it's going to be OK it's a blip. You've got this. Put some music on and cry it out if you need to.... I'm with you hugging you tight in spirit... Besides you aren't going to fall apart, I have so much gaffa tape I can stick you together... Love you chick.


 :Kiss: 

Katie came over tonight to have some mummy daughter time, watching Strictly. That helped  :):

----------

OldMike (27-09-20),Stella180 (26-09-20)

----------


## Stella180

Sounds like a great way to spend a Saturday evening.

----------


## Strugglingmum

What a special girlie..... just like her mum. X

----------


## Suzi

How are you today love?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, a bit emotional - the rector of our church is leaving today, after 34 years service. So Ive been watching the service online, and theres been tears.....

Im going to attempt studying again today, and hoping the tech works

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda: 
Always sad when a minister moves on . X
Hope you manage some studying

----------

Paula (27-09-20)

----------


## Suzi

Oh I'm sorry lovely..

----------


## Flo

I agree.....maybe you'll get a lady rev. or a young enthusiastic one who thinks outside the box!

----------


## Paula

Another morning at the hospital - bloods and visual field tests. Still, should actually be able to be home by lunchtime this time  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like a fun way of spending this morning..... Not......

How are you emotionally? Moodwise?

----------


## Stella180

You’re spending so much time there you must be on first name terms with all the staff by now lol

----------


## OldMike

> Another morning at the hospital - bloods and visual field tests. Still, should actually be able to be home by lunchtime this time


Hope all goes well and you don't have to wait too long  :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope all goes well.  X

----------


## Paula

Well Im home, which is novel.....

Im a bit tearful - I didnt need a doctor to tell me my visual fields test in my left eye didnt go well. The area I had blurred vision, I didnt see any of the lights in that bit of peripheral vision. In the short term, Im still not going to drive, and wait to see a doctor

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Stella180

That sucks.

----------


## Suzi

How are you love?

----------


## Paula

Im fine. Just been out for a walk to clear my head. Theres nothing I can do until I see a doctor and the only impact is not driving, atm. So, I can live with that

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Stella180

You’ll have have to make sure Si wears a suit and hat now he gets to be your chauffeur lol

----------


## Suzi

OMG yes! He'd love that!  :(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Well has to look the part to drive a princess around.

----------


## Stella180

Exactly!!! Gotta be in uniform to transport royalty

----------


## Paula

I couldnt agree more. My chauffeur is resisting the idea atm....

----------


## Suzi

Sexy chauffeur costume?

----------


## Stella180

A little something to get him started  :O:  https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07BSD..._r0LCFbGP4RCSZ

----------


## Paula

> Sexy chauffeur costume?


God no, I doubt he could think of anything worse!

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):   :(rofl):   :(rofl):  How are you this morning gorgeous?

----------


## Paula

Im fine, though struggling to get going. Got my best friend over later so must get a wiggle on

----------


## Suzi

Fine? As in, really OK or just glossing over everything with "I'm fine"?
Glad you're friend is coming over...

----------


## Paula

Really ok, I promise

----------

OldMike (29-09-20)

----------


## Paula

So, mums had her MRI results. She has extensive arthritis in her spine and some bony spurs. The main issue is she has two slipped discs in her lower back. One of the bulging discs is pressing on nerves and slightly on her spinal cord. Shes been given a few options and has decided to have surgery - though its not as dramatic as it sounds, apparently with this type of surgery she can be done and home in a day

----------


## Suzi

Glad the MRI results have shown what issues there are and that there is a plan love... Although I also know how scary it is..

----------


## Stella180

Home it a day!? Wow that sounds impressive.

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm glad there is a solution to some of the problem. Hopefully surgery will greatly reduce her pain

----------


## Paula

My neurologist has referred me to Southampton to have a LP under X-ray, so that he can get a clear idea whats going on

----------


## Stella180

They should just fit you with a tap lol

----------


## Suzi

Southampton always used to be a brilliant hospital for things like this.. You scared though?

----------


## Paula

No. It should be easier with X-ray. Si didnt want me to take it up as I dont have any symptoms now but I have said that this has been going on for 3 years and most of that time I didnt have any symptoms. And Im worried about my eyes. So, I want to take up any tests they want to throw at me - I need to know exactly what were dealing with

----------


## EJ

Will you have to stay in ?

----------


## Suzi

> No. It should be easier with X-ray. Si didnt want me to take it up as I dont have any symptoms now but I have said that this has been going on for 3 years and most of that time I didnt have any symptoms. And Im worried about my eyes. So, I want to take up any tests they want to throw at me - I need to know exactly what were dealing with


Very sensible if you ask me....

----------

Paula (30-09-20)

----------


## Paula

> Will you have to stay in ?


I dont know - I didnt at my local hospital last week but I did when I had my first LP in Southampton 3 years ago.

----------



----------


## Suzi

Morning love, how are you today?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, life goes on  :O:

----------


## Suzi

That doesn't sound happy and sparkly....

----------


## Paula

Im ok, really, just a few things on my mind - expected really

----------


## Stella180

Wanna talk about it?

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

Always willing to listen lovely  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Tell us what's going on? You know you'd say the same thing to me!

----------


## Paula

Well, Katie popped round which helped raise my spirits  :): 

Erm, well, Im worried about my mum - logically we all know that the surgery is not the biggie it used to be, but its still spine surgery. And I know my dad is going to be like a very grumpy, very helicoptery kitten on hot coals, and will inevitably drive mum around the bend. And, yes, I also know we have no idea when this will happen, but thats something else Im worried about - shes in agony.....

And, Si is not happy about this lumbar puncture. He doesnt get why I should have to be put through that again. Ive explained to him this is diagnostic and, given Ive had little of that for 3 years, Im not arguing. Also, my eyes are worrying me. But hes still not happy. Ive also told him its my decision, but that doesnt mean hes going to let it go any time soon.

Oh, and despite having no letter, Im worried about my next PiP assessment as Im pretty certain Ill lose top rate and, therefore, my car - which I love..... which takes me to my next worry. I dont know how much damage recent events have done to my sight, and Im scared Im never going to be able to drive or do cross stitch again.

And, breathe .......

----------


## Strugglingmum

Those are all very legitimate concerns.  :Panda: 
Does it feel any easier to have laid them all out?

----------


## Stella180

So things aren’t really fine then? There would be a bigger problem if these things weren’t a worry for you. I completely understand why you’re concerned about your mum and your sight. PiP however, have you checked when your claim needs reassessing? I don’t think for one minute anyone with half a brain would think downgrading your mobility is appropriate.

----------


## Paula

Of course, theres also the minor worry over Sis job. He should find out next week

My PiP is due 2021, but I know people have been reassessed early

----------


## Suzi

OK, so in essence you have a lot of very valid and legitimate worries.... But you are also borrowing trouble. 

Your Mum - Spine surgery is scary, but there's no reason it'll go badly for her and they wouldn't be talking about doing it day surgery if they had those kind of concerns - won't stop you worrying though.. 
LP - Si is right to be concerned, you've had a few issues with these and they've made you pretty poorly..... I can totally understand his point of view. However I can also see yours and I know what it's like to need to get that diagnosis so you can hopefully get the right treatment to actually treat what's going on... 
PiP - It's going to happen - the assessment, but there's no reason you will lose your award, so let's worry about that one when that form arrives. 
Si's Job - Is he still looking for something else?

----------


## Paula

Pfft *grumbles about using my words*

Si has sent out feelers and is keeping an ear out. Thing is, at his level, theres usually less comparable roles available. But he says hes not worried. Im starting to though I know weve got savings

----------


## Suzi

Si is sensible, he's not going to hide things from you either. If he's not worried then can you take that pile off the "Things I need to worry about today" list and stick it for a later date?

----------


## Paula

He would, and has, hidden his worries from me - all the time.....

----------


## Suzi

Hmm... Well that blows my argument out of the water then..... Tell him, he's a git from me!

----------

Paula (02-10-20)

----------


## Paula

Gladly  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Thank you...

----------


## Flo

You seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment. May I ask what your eye problem is? You have a great hubby, he's so supportive. Ian is a good guy but isn't a talker if things go wrong, it can be infuriating! Try and have a peaceful weekend.x

----------


## Suzi

Yo Sparkles, how are you today?

----------


## Paula

> You seem to have a lot on your plate at the moment. May I ask what your eye problem is?


The main danger from Intracranial Hypertension is that the increase fluid in the brain puts pressure on the optic nerves and causes swelling - and potentially permanent damage to the eyes. Over the past 3ish years, that pressure has been consistent. When I was admitted a few weeks ago it was because the optician saw the the pressure had increased, there was blurring of the optical discs and my pupils were very slow to react to light. Ive had blurred vision for several weeks now, and my visual fields test last week, which tests peripheral vision, I felt went badly as I didnt see any of the things I should see at the bottom of my vision in my left eye. But I havent had the results yet

Suzi, Im ok. Si and Jess are going to the in laws today so Im getting the house to myself  :):

----------


## Flo

Sorry to hear that Paula. I have Glaucoma which involves most of the same tests..especially field of vision tests. Take good care of yourself and I hope things can be resolved for the most part. :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

OO so what are you up to today? Lots of partying? Strippers? Men with loose morals? Vodka watermelon?

----------


## Paula

:(rofl): 

Katie came over and we watched Onward together. Her landlord has sold his house so theyve got to figure out where they can live that doesnt cost so much than they cant save up for a deposit on their own home itms. They were going to move in with Doms parents but hes had a huge bust up with his mum over her drinking.

----------


## Mira

Thats not do great. Are the prices in the whole of the UK as high as I see sometimes on those tv shows? They are rediculos

----------


## Paula

Yes, and we are in the South East, one of the most expensive areas in the country.

----------


## Stella180

To give you an idea around my neck of the woods a 1 bedroom apartment goes for around £500-£650 pcm

----------


## Jaquaia

Yet you can get a 3 bedroom for around £400 here

----------


## Paula

> To give you an idea around my neck of the woods a 1 bedroom apartment goes for around £500-£650 pcm


£850 here....

----------


## Suzi

Lol, the house next door to me is "cheap" and is £1750 a month - 3 bed house.

----------


## Paula

Im struggling tonight, really fed up with life  :(:

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda: 
Wish I could give you a real one. 
Any one thing in particular or everything jumbled together?

----------


## Paula

Everything. Not helped by having a diet ready meal while Si and Jess were eating steak.... I know that sounds childish but it was the straw itms

----------


## Strugglingmum

It makes total sense. 
Those straws have a habit of sneaking up and jumping on the camel's back and totally disabling us.

----------

Paula (05-10-20)

----------


## Suzi

So why wait till late to start talking? Narna.... 
I agree the last thing is always the smallest thing....

----------


## Paula

Because I spent the day trying to distract without even realising what I was doing. It feels like all the energy Ive put into trying to get well over the last few weeks has disappeared, and Im treacle wading

----------


## Mira

:(bear):  I know what you are experiencing. Those are the moments that hurt. But life is not fed up with you. Life is so much better with you in it.

I wish I knew the words that would make it all be better. But know that there are so many people that adore you and think the world of you. If people had the power to take anothers persons pain and struggles away there would be a line a mile long outside your house.

----------

Paula (05-10-20),Strugglingmum (05-10-20),Suzi (06-10-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Tom

Just keep in mind that the energy you put into this wasn't wasted at all! If some things keep dragging you down it perhaps needs more energy to keep you up. But from my perspective you're still going strong and steady  :O:

----------


## Suzi

How are you today love? 
Have you ever stopped to think that actually right now you deserve to have a rocky bit? You've been through so much with all the worry, stress, LPs, time in hospital, now the disagreement with Si about the next LP, the worry about his job, that's on top of the worldwide pandemic, not being able to see K at all for a while, the worry about your Mum etc etc etc Maybe a bit of being kind to you is what is needed right now?

----------


## Angie

Sweetheart you have been through a lot in  the last few weeks and still have more to come, plus with your mums treatment coming up and also Katie needing to find a new home its bound to have  an effect, I havent got an answer but please take some time for you, you will get there as your strong and one of the strongest people I know.

----------


## OldMike

I should have words of wisdom after all with age comes wisdom who ever said that wasn't old so I'll leave you with these  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Logically, I know youre all completely right. Emotionally, its a bit harder to see

----------


## Suzi

I know love...  :(bear):  Is there anything I can do to help!

----------


## Paula

Just keep reminding me its not as bad as I think

Im having a mani pedi this afternoon, thatll help. 3 hours of pampering  :):

----------

Stella180 (06-10-20)

----------


## Mira

I hope you can enjoy it to bits. You deserve some pampering. And what you said is true for so many of us. If we look at it logical we can see how it is and that its all good and the right path is taken. But then...... Our emotions come in and take us on a rollercoaster.

But for now pampering!

----------

Paula (06-10-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Emotions...... got to love them!!  :Panda: 

Enjoy your pampering love, you so deserve it. X

----------


## Suzi

How's the pampering been? 
 :(bear):   :(bear):  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

Lovely, my hands and feet look all pretty. Then Katie came over and watched Bake off with me  :): 

But, my debit cards been cloned online -  cheeky  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: ers took £200. Good job Si checks the bank statements every day!

----------


## Suzi

Glad he spotted it before too much damage has been done. 
I'm glad that you got to spend time with Katie too. 

How's your mood love?

----------


## Paula

I agree, my brother was cloned earlier this year and they cleared out all his money...

Im ok, I've not got a zoom meeting today that I thought I had - which means I dont have to rush around. So, later Ill be studying but first Im going to virtually look at bathrooms - were getting someone round to quote for a new en suite  :):

----------


## Suzi

That sounds fun! 

How's your mood today?

----------


## Paula

Ok, I managed to meditate to calm myself after panicking over my eye appt on Saturday. So thats a win  :O:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Oooo we just about finished our en suite.

----------


## Suzi

YAY for meditation!

----------


## Paula

Si found out today that hes lost his job. Hell have a consultation soon to see if there are any other roles going he might be suitable for, otherwise its redundancy

And Ive got my eye appointment tomorrow morning

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda: 
Thinking of you.  So sorry about Si. X

----------


## Stella180

Oh no! Not the news you wanted to hear. Fingers crossed for eye appointment.

----------


## Mira

Sorry to hear that. That must be rough on him.

Good luck later on with the appointment.

----------

Flo (10-10-20)

----------


## Allalone

:Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

So sorry to hear that!

Hope the appointment goes well   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Sorry about Si's job love. How's he taking it? 

Hope all goes well with your eye appointment today hunni x

----------


## Paula

Sis pretty upbeat. Hes going to push (unless there is another role) to leave immediately.

So, my eyes are still swollen, theres some disc blurring in the left eye and I did miss quite a lot in the visual fields test at the bottom of my left eye (I thought I did). He said I had missed in past tests but it is a bit worse. I had a scan and he wants to see me again in 2 months to see if theres been any changes. It might just be that its taking a little time for everything to settle down with the new meds.

----------


## Suzi

What does all that mean for your driving? 
It's good they are keeping a close eye on you lovely.

----------


## Paula

Im not going to drive at least til the next appointment, I dont feel safe and Sis around. Close eye? Really?  :(giggle): 

So, sometimes it worries me how well some people know me. This arrived in the post today and I LOVE it! Thank you Stella

----------


## Stella180

I only knew cos you posted something on FB ages ago and I ordered it straight away. It’s been sat in my house ever since cos I never got round to posting it. Really pleased you like and it’s given you something to smile about.

----------


## Jaquaia

It's absolutely beautiful. Stella, you really are awesome and there's no point arguing as I'm not going to listen!!! :P:

----------

Paula (10-10-20)

----------


## Suzi

Wow, that's stunning! Jaq's right, you are awesome.

----------


## Paula

> It's absolutely beautiful. Stella, you really are awesome and there's no point arguing as I'm not going to listen!!!


Yep, completely agree!

But seriously, ladies, I know Im not a crier but theres no need to try so hard to make it happen (another parcel I got from our Suzi this afternoon). Thank you  :Kiss:

----------


## Jaquaia

You cried??? Surely not!!!  :O: 

Absolutely gorgeous

----------


## Suzi

You cried? It wasn't meant to make you cry lol....

----------


## Paula

Haha  :O:

----------


## Stella180

Oh Suzi! Fancy making Paula cry by being such caring and thoughtful friend.

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

So, I spent all yesterday afternoon with an upset stomach, which was rubbish. Even worse, we were supposed to go out for a meal with the kids last night ....... on the plus side, it probably helped the diet  :O:

----------


## Stella180

Welcome to my world. Has it settled down now??

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! Hate that... You feeling brighter today?

----------


## Paula

Better than I was but still a bit fragile. Ill live, probably stress

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  You've certainly had your fair share of crap to deal with...

----------


## Stella180

Well you’ve had a lot of pretty heavy stuff going on so it’s no real surprise that something had to give. Snuggle up on the sofa with your long legged pups and watch trash tv. It’s the law when you feel rough.

----------

Suzi (11-10-20)

----------


## Paula

> You've certainly had your fair share of crap to deal with...


*sniggers*

So, I had some lunch and felt a bit better so, um, pruned back the triffid aka honeysuckle. Im knackered and sore but I needed the fresh air and exercise

----------


## Suzi

I LOVE honeysuckle!  :):

----------


## Paula

I am cross! I put my repeats request through for my inhaler and amitriptyline on 1 and 4 October respectively. I ran out of my inhaler on Friday and run out of the ami today. Boots process my repeats for me but I couldnt get hold of them this morning so I rang my GP and they were emailed to Boots on the 7th! Good job I didnt have to cope with flu or covid without my inhaler, right? On top of that, Boots online kept telling me I had to physically go to the GP to get a linkage key meaning I could send the request direct to the surgery wholl then pass it to Boots. Except Ive just been told I can now email requests straight to my GP!

----------


## Stella180

What a joke! (And not a funny one either)

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! That's awful! I hope you've put in a complaint! Will they get it sorted for you today?

----------


## Paula

Yep, its ready now.

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  :Panda:  
Are you resting today? 
What's happening with Si? Does he have a finish date? Is he looking around for something else? 
How are your Princesses? Puppers?

----------


## Paula

Not resting - study. Im soooo far behind after everything

Princesses are ok, Katie is starting to make appointments to view houses  :):  puppers are gorgeous and seem happy

Si has chats this week with his boss to see if theres anything suitable in Centrica - their redundancy bill is looking huge so theyre keen to redeploy expensive staff like him. Otherwise, redundancy day will probably be mid November, and hes thinking hell take pay in lieu. He is looking for something but well have a fair amount of time to play with before the money runs out

----------


## Suzi

Hooray for him being "expensive"  :):  Glad that the pressure will be off for a while.  Hope Katie finds her dream home soon x How's Jess? 

Studying? Are you pacing?

----------


## Paula

Jess is absolutely fine, and being nice to me right now.

No, I didnt pace and am regretting it now, but I have to catch up. I have realised Im more stressed than I thought - I thought I was relatively calm about everything - but I very nearly bit my dads head right off earlier. He was being a bit of an ass but thats because he has a lot on his mind. Normally, Id let it wash over me but I struggled today

----------


## Suzi

Want to talk about it? What can you do to help you to destress a bit today?

----------


## Paula

I dont think theres much more to say at the moment that I havent already. Its pretty obvious why Im stressed - the last few weeks have been difficult and Im worried about the future.

Anyway, de-stressing today involves touching up paintwork in the utility room where weve (the royal we obvs) moved shelves  :):

----------


## Suzi

That sounds fun! Are you the one doing the painting?

----------


## Paula

I am  :O: 

In other news, I have my appointment for the next lumbar puncture on 26 October. Ive got to have a covid test 3 days before and self isolate at home (different bedroom, bathroom etc) for 3 days before......

----------


## Suzi

Oh wow, that's going to be hard....

----------


## Paula

None of this has been simple, tbh lol

----------


## Stella180

But you can still share a a room with Demi and Jax though. You don’t need anyone else.

----------


## Suzi

I know it's not been easy or simple... You'll get through it though, you're made of fighter material...

----------


## Paula

The hospital has made a little mistake - my lumbar puncture needs to be booked through radiology not neurology. So 26th is cancelled and I just wait for another letter

----------


## Jaquaia

Oh! Fingers crossed it comes through quickly!

----------


## Stella180

What the.... what difference does it make?

----------


## Paula

Different staff? Making sure the X-ray machine was available?

----------


## EJ

Sorry for the mix up. Annoying though x

----------


## Suzi

What a bugger! At least they've told you now, and not when you turned up - every cloud and silver linings etc...

----------


## Paula

Im fighting a cold - my throat is so sore and my head hurts. The dogs have trodden mud through the house and Demi has ripped up a package that came through the door - fortunately the contents seem ok, though Ill check later for little holes, as its for my Christmas shoebox  :@:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope you feel better soon. 
Demi......oooooops

----------


## Stella180

Tut tut. Bad Demi.

----------


## Paula

Worst dog in the world  :O:

----------


## Stella180

Good job she’s cute eh?

----------


## Suzi

Oh no Demi!!! Were the contents OK?

----------


## Paula

Yeah theyre fine, Im cross with her (though didnt shout) which isnt fair as she doesnt know she did wrong. Im just feeling crap and didnt need to be clearing up pieces of plastic and cardboard

----------


## Suzi

No you didn't... Have you thought about a cage for the letterbox? We had to get one when we had Casey and Lola, now we have a letterbox outside lol

----------


## Paula

The letterbox is right at the bottom of the door so I dont think a cage will work, though I dont know. Ill have a chat with Si

----------


## Suzi

Oh..... 

How are you today gorgeous?

----------


## Paula

Sore throat, Katie is off work with the same. Might do some cross stitch today, Ive been studying all week so far

----------


## Suzi

About time you took some time out then love..... Sorry you and Katie both have sore throats... I sympathise.

----------


## Paula

> No you didn't... Have you thought about a cage for the letterbox? We had to get one when we had Casey and Lola, now we have a letterbox outside lol


Looks like were getting an outdoor letterbox. Thanks, hun

----------


## Suzi

You're welcome. It's easier for us! Esp as we've put it up so I don't have to bend to get to it at all.

----------

Paula (15-10-20)

----------


## Paula

Very excited this morning. For the first time in almost 8 years, IM GOING TO TRY WEARING TIGHTS!!!

----------


## Stella180

Wow! That is a big deal. Why today?

----------


## Suzi

Eww, tights! How did you get on?

----------


## Paula

Today? Because I had a pair of Snag tights delivered  :O:  . Im fed up with having cold legs, Suzi, so wanted to see if I could build up enough of a tolerance to wear them when Im out and about. So far, its bearable - the Bath team would be proud lol

----------


## Suzi

I am SOOO proud of you! (Also love Snag chub rub shorts lol) I wear leggings and never skirts so I don't need them. 

I am so excited for you!

----------


## Stella180

I’m glad it’s going well for you.

----------


## Jaquaia

Snag tights are awesome!!!

----------


## Paula

Ive ordered another 5 pairs!

Im a tad disappointed. Katie came over to watch Strictly, only for Jess to call on her way home from work to tell Katie she had to go home as one of Jesss colleagues (and friend) has tested positive for Covid..... I suppose we all have to be flexible with our plans, and thats not going away any time soon

----------


## Stella180

That sucks. Does Jess have to be tested now or is it just 7 day quarantine?

----------


## Paula

She doesnt know, only found out as she was leaving tonight

----------


## Strugglingmum

Poor Jess. I guess the helpline will tell you what to do.

----------


## Paula

Omg strictly !!!!!!!!!!!

----------


## Suzi

Oh no what a nightmare for Jess - have you worked out what that means for you all  :): 

SOOOO loved Strictly!

----------


## Paula

Not worked it out yet,

----------


## Suzi

Morning gorgeous, how are you doing?

----------


## Paula

All good

----------


## Suzi

Have you thought about dropping an email to the team at Bath to let them know about you managing tights yesterday?

----------


## Paula

I hadnt, but thats a good idea. I believe theyve got a team back now  :):

----------


## Suzi

They'll be blown away. AS it happens I was looking at Snag tights with H last night and I told her that you were wearing tights and she was so excited for you! Both Hazel and Fern asked me to send you their congratulations and hi 5's  :O:

----------

Paula (18-10-20)

----------


## Paula

Ooo I thought Id told you all this!  My cousin (the one with terminal bowel cancer but theyd discovered a treatment that might help him) has finally had his recent scan results back. He did have large tumours in every quarter of his liver - now the tumours have shrunk so much theyre almost unseeable!!!  :(party): 

In other news, I had coffee (proper out, out coffee) with my friend today. Shes the Pastoral Coordinator for my church and has asked me to mentor/support another lady in the congregation who has health issues and suffers from panic attacks, and struggles with going to church services/being actively involved in the church. Somehow, she thought Id be able to help lol  :O:

----------


## Suzi

That's amazing news about your cousin! Seriously brilliant! 

It's fab that you'll be able to support someone else, just remember that you need to look after you too...

----------


## Paula

Of course I will  :O: 

Edit: its an answer to prayer actually, I wanted an opportunity to serve that was achievable for me itms

----------


## Suzi

That's brilliant. I'm so proud of you!

----------


## Paula

Si had a meeting this morning. Theres a few jobs they want to talk to him about next week. Theyre also going to email details of his package (if he goes) in the next few days. If he does go, itll be first week November.
I think hes disillusioned with it all and will choose to leave regardless, and I dont think working for BG is what he wants to do. But, no decisions have been made yet, by them or him.

----------


## Suzi

It's good that they are presenting options. They obviously want to keep him.... 
Hope he talks about it all with you love.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Always good to have options.  
So proud and pleased for you to have an opportunity to mentor someone else who is struggling. You'll be amazing xx

----------


## Paula

Im not saying our broadband is crap, but our download speed is currently lower than our upload speed (1meg)......

----------


## Angie

Ouch!

----------


## Jaquaia

Ours has often been down about 1meg and upload speed so slow it won't register!

----------


## Suzi

In our area it's very hit and miss....

----------


## Paula

But....... we have witnessed Virgin laying cables in our street  :(party): 

Talking of parties, STRICTLYS back!!

----------


## Angie

Wish Virgin would lay cable in ours, we only went to fibre 18 months ago, and some of the lines here still run on aluminium though they nearly replaced them all now, cant wait for full fibre to come out nationwide.

----------


## Suzi

Oh no, Virgin round here is properly c(ap!

----------


## Stella180

Hard to find a virgin round this way  :O:

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):   :(rofl):   :(rofl):

----------


## OldMike

@Stella  :(rofl): 

Virgin has been up and down our street think it was last year what mess they made of the pavements laying the cables. I'm on BT fibre which does me.

----------


## Paula

The saga continues  :O: 

I had a call from Southampton hospital this morning. Weve got you booked in for a lumbar puncture today. Where are you? !! FFS

In better news, its early days but Si may have found a job  :):

----------


## Stella180

I thought it was cancelled? What’s the job?

----------


## Paula

It was cancelled....

Job is similar to what he does now - which Ive never really been interested enough to know about, its to do with pricing (boring!  :(rofl): )

----------


## Suzi

Bugger about the lp! 
Same company or something different? Great news that he's got something so fast!

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's great news for Si.
So frustrating about the LP tho!!

----------


## OldMike

Good news for Si on the job front.

LP!? I've got an LP entitled The World of Val Doonican I can lend you that if it helps,  cost me 19/11 in old money.  :(giggle):  Sorry got my silly hat on today, serious hat on now hope your lumber (spelling) puncture gets sorted soon in the meantime Ms Panda has this for you.  :Panda:

----------

Suzi (26-10-20)

----------


## Paula

> Same company or something different? Great news that he's got something so fast!


Its likely his, but not definitely yet! Somewhere different, in our town but mainly wfh. Its with someone he used to work with at Vodafone, apparently his name came up 6 months ago so they were chuffed when he put up on LinkedIn he was looking for something

----------


## Suzi

WFH? That sounds perfect! No more horrible commutes?! That HAS to be better?

----------


## Paula

Well see, we dont know the package yet  :O:

----------


## Stella180

I guarantee it’s better that UC.

----------


## Paula

LP is next Tuesday now

----------


## Suzi

How are you feeling about it? I assume Si is going to take you?

----------


## Paula

Just want to get it over and done with now - especially the self isolating. Yeap, Si will take me

----------


## Suzi

I can totally understand that...

----------


## Paula

Things I am hating right now? The fact that my whole family thinks that I should try to find them presents they can give to Si for his 50th birthday! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

----------


## Paula

Ok, so its been confirmed Si is being made redundant on 30 November

----------


## Suzi

Ahh, re the present thing, I have that all the time for Marc..... I hate it! 

Sorry about the redundancy... Is there any news on the other job?

----------


## Paula

Not yet, wont hear for a couple of weeks

----------


## Stella180

I’m sure he’ll get the position. It sounds like they really wanted him before so can’t imagine that would’ve changed.

----------


## Suzi

Exactly. I assume he's been given details of his redundancy package and that it'll keep things going for a while?

----------


## Paula

> Exactly. I assume he's been given details of his redundancy package and that it'll keep things going for a while?


Yes and yes. Weve got some savings too but Id much rather we didnt have to spend that as Im thinking a wedding isnt too far in the future.... and Id like to be in a position to help the girls get their first houses  :):

----------


## Suzi

That's really cool....

----------


## OldMike

Ooooo a wedding, nice  :):

----------


## Paula

Todays the first day of 3 in self isolation. Im bored already of my one room existence lol. Still, at least it looks like my appointment shouldnt be cancelled Tuesday 

Katies having a second viewing at a house theyve fallen in love with, it looks lovely  :):

----------


## Flo

Can't believe Katie's house viewing....where have the years gone? Hope she gets the house she's fallen in love with. Fingers crossed.

----------


## Suzi

Is it far from you? 

Day 1 and you're going to be fine... Do you have lots to do to keep you occupied? Room service any good?

----------


## Paula

Well, Si went with Katie and Dom to the second viewing and liked it. Says its ideal for them. Theyre putting in an offer so we shall see, (and Flo, I know, I feel ollllllllld)

Im getting my own breakfast and lunch as weve got the utility room right next to the spare bedroom. But it was weird having my dinner left outside my door  :O: . Im studying, mainly, and watching a lot of Taskmaster

----------


## Strugglingmum

How exciting for Katie and Dom. 
Its lovely you have a convenient place to get your brekkie etc. That's such a blessing.  Nearly 1 day over. X

----------


## Suzi

Aww  :(bear):   :(bear):   :(bear):  You're doing brilliantly through day 1 love.

----------


## Stella180

I bet Tuesday can’t come soon enough for you.

----------


## Paula

> I bet Tuesday cant come soon enough for you.


Lol Tuesday Im being stabbed - jurys out on whats worse  :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

Resting for the rest of the week then?

----------


## Paula

Well, Wednesday were celebrating Sis birthday, and of course its Sis actual birthday on Saturday. Plus, somehow, Ive got to get his decorations up - I was banking on help from Katie and Dom but they cant now. Ive also got to wrap his presents. So, other than that, yeah 

I just hope I dont have the low pressure symptoms this time

----------


## Stella180

Sneak Katie and Dom in anyway. Who’s going to stop you?

----------


## Suzi

If you do, you do love.... 
Can Jess help with the decorating etc?

----------


## Angie

Can Katie be in your support bubble because she can still visit that way? and if its Wednesday they can be there as full lockdown is from 12.01 midnight wednesday.

----------


## Paula

> Can Katie be in your support bubble because she can still visit that way? and if its Wednesday they can be there as full lockdown is from 12.01 midnight wednesday.


No, because Katies not living on her own - at least thats how I understood it.




> If you do, you do love.... 
> Can Jess help with the decorating etc?


My issue is putting banners up high and Jess is too tiny to be of any use there pmsl




> Sneak Katie and Dom in anyway. Whos going to stop you?


Me. Because Im not a rule breaker - particularly as Im more vulnerable  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Can he have lower banners? Or get Jess climbing chairs and step ladders?  :(rofl):

----------


## OldMike

I'd go for low banners as low banners is better than no banners  :(giggle):

----------


## Strugglingmum

You know what? 
A had his 50th in lockdown, we were supposed to be in Potugal but we had a lockdown celebration here when even the take aways were still closed down and he still had a lovely birthday. 
Do low banners, Katie can eat dinner with you via zoom if she cant be there in person. Is it what the plan was? Probably not but I bet Si will enjoy his birthday anyway because you are there and love him.x

----------

Paula (02-11-20),Suzi (02-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

Couldn't have said it better than SM!

----------


## Paula

Katies first offer on the house was refused so shes gone back with a higher one. My stomach is churning big time atm - it feels like its all a bit much

----------


## Stella180

I hope it excitement rather than worry.

----------


## Paula

Worry, and stress, mainly. It feels like everythings going on at the same time and I havent got a handle on any of it

----------


## Stella180

Yeah you have. Course work is done, one more sleep until isolation is over and that LP is done so that’s another thing sorted in the next 24hrs. Si’s family birthday dinner on Wednesday will be great. It’ll all be fine.

----------


## Paula

Course work isnt done, Im still way behind. Given my last experience with the LP Im freaking out about that, particularly as its a hospital I dont really know. Katies second offer has been rejected and she can only go up by another £5k and Sis birthday will be crap and 100% not what I wanted for him - particularly as Katie wont actually be here on his birthday

----------


## Stella180

But you said yourself this time will be easier with the X-ray and no things won’t be the same for Si’s birthday under lockdown but I’m sure he’ll be happy just spending the day with you. Don’t panic, everything will work out.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Ok you feel like you haven't got a handle on any of it. That's because there are things you cant have a handle on.
If this house is for Katie, it will work out. If not, another one will come along. She will be sad but she is a strong young woman like her mum and will pick up and move on. You are not in control of the housing market. 
As I said, Si's birthday is not what you wanted for him but that also is out of your control, you did not cause the global pandemic, we make the best of what we can. He will enjoy it more if you relax about it and can smile at how crap a lockdown birthday is. Chances are, we are all gonna have a lockdown birthday this year. 
The LP was awful last time. It's under guidance this time, no poking blindly with needles. I wont tell you not to worry because it's natural, but it's not exactly the same as last time.

You are overwhelmed with it all happening at once and having to isolate in the midst of it, but my lovely warrior , you are almost through day2. Xxxx

----------

Suzi (02-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

I can't agree with SM enough... You will get the coursework done. It might need an extension, but you'll do it. So, if Katie and Dom don't get this house it wasn't meant to be. It means that something better is going to come along for them. Si's birthday isn't going to be crap, it's going to be different and that's OK - in this time it's more than OK to be different, you can have a big party or holiday or whatever when things calm down enough to do so - maybe in the summer? 
The LP I can understand. I'm sure you are terrified and that's OK. You've had a really crappy time with them, so tell them. Tell them you're scared and seeing what they are able to do. It's also Southampton hospital which you don't know very well, and that's OK too.... I know that my bil was in there for stem cell transplants and they were blinking lovely and really good. Have faith. You've got this, and if you haven't then we're here for you too and will help support you until things start getting easier... 
What time is the LP?

----------


## Paula

Ive got to be at the hospital at midday. I am scared, really, really scared

Katie had to up their offer by £10k but theyve got the house  :):

----------

OldMike (03-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

Congratulations to them!!!

Is there anything I can do to help with the fear?

----------


## Stella180

It’s ok to be scared so long at you don’t give in to that fear. You’ve got this!

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Yo, sparkles... How you doing?

----------


## Paula

Stomachs churning

----------


## Suzi

I'm sorry lovely... Can you distract as much as possible?

----------


## Stella180

Hey, I wish I could be there to hold your hand through today but I’m there in spirit.

----------


## Strugglingmum

Thinking of you today. You got this but it's ok to be a little bit scared. Mindfulness,  meditation and maybe a gin. Xx

----------


## Jaquaia

Thinking of you  :Panda:

----------

Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

How did it go?

----------


## Angie

Have been thinking of you sweetie, how are you doing ?

----------


## Suzi

I'm sure she won't mind me updating you. Paula has had it done and should be heading home within the hour.

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's great news. X

----------

Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Angie

Thats brilliant and hope she is going home to chill and rest xx

----------

Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

Under my instructions to do so  :O:

----------

Angie (04-11-20),Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

Just to update you as I know that you all are worried - Paula is now home, but I've banned her from coming on here tonight and told her she has to rest tomorrow.

----------

Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Stella180

Tomorrow is the family dinner for Si’s birthday so she better be resting right up to the last minute so they can all have a lovely evening together before lockdown.

----------

Angie (04-11-20),Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

That's what I've ordered  :O:

----------

Angie (04-11-20)

----------


## EJ

Dear Paula I hope you are home and are resting. Sorry I have missed you xx

----------

Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Paula

Hi guys! I was half expecting to come here to find Suzi had changed the locks to keep me out!  :O:  Im feeling better than yesterday but still a little rough - LP hangover is no fun so Im still mainly horizontal.

So, Tuesday was fun, not. The lab lost my urgent bloods, which held up the procedure by a couple of hours. I was very anxious but they gave me a lorazepam just before going down. It all went ok though. The reason theyd found it so difficult before is because I have slight scoliosis - which was news to me. My pressure was 26.5, normal is 20-25. The surgeon spoke to me afterwards and said that though it was only slightly high it rushed out at first and he was convinced it would go much higher. He also had to take much more fluid than he expected to get it down to a safe pressure. So hes going to put all that in his report as he thinks its worse than the 26.5 suggests.

The doctor who admitted me was a complete ****. Because the hospital is like a rabbit Warren, and weve got lost there before, I was in my wheelchair. We waited outside the ward as Si couldnt go in so I sat in the wheelchair beside Si. The doctor said my name, I answered and he proceeded to talk to Si and ask him questions, as if I was invisible! Later, he was going through all the paperwork with me - he interrogated me about my MH, my diagnosis, and whether Id ever had manic or psychotic episodes! To top it off, he was also quizzing me on why Id been put on lithium.

Anyway, family posh Chinese was lovely. And Im so grateful we got to see Katie and Dom before lockdown, particularly as Ive been advised to shield (although theyre not calling it that)

----------


## Stella180

I’m sorry you had so much stress but glad the procedure itself went well. That doctor sounds like a complete wazzock!wheel chairs can make you invisible to ignorant members of the public but you’d think a doctor would know better and if he’s got your MH notes he will know why you take lithium. Why was any of that relevant anyway? 

It’s great to see you back on line and that you were able to enjoy your family meal together. Thanks for the update now sod off and rest.  :P:

----------


## Paula

Not relevant at all, or any of his business imo!

----------


## Strugglingmum

So glad it's over.
Hurrah for posh Chinese and family. Rest up lovely lady. X

----------

Paula (05-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

So what happens regarding your pressure being high and that they had to take more than expected? You can't keep going on having LPs on a regular basis..... 

Glad that the posh chinese went well. When is Si's birthday?

----------


## Paula

Hes going to report to my consultant and well go from there

His birthday is Saturday

----------


## Suzi

You still feeling rough?

----------


## Paula

Yeah, very. Im trying very hard to get up the courage to stand in the shower atm. I know itll pass but basically its a migraine....

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Do you need the shower? Could it wait until you feel safer? Is Si at home? Can he stand with you whilst you have a shower if you feel you need it?

----------


## OldMike

That is so annoying ignoring a lovely lady like yourself and just talking to hubby. You should have said hey I'm here talk to the organ grinder not the monkey  :(rofl): 

Glad you got your Chinese in before lockdown  :Panda:

----------

Strugglingmum (06-11-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope you feel a bit better. X

----------


## Paula

I had a shower and, yes, Si is here to respond to me crashing over if necessary  :O: . I managed to sit up to have my lunch so crossing everything this is a good sign - particularly as I have presents to wrap!

----------


## Suzi

Hooray for sitting upwards!

----------


## Stella180

Vertical is awesome. If you can’t wrap presents I’m sure the old fit will understand what with the circumstances.

----------


## Paula

Im upright about 50% of the time now  :(party): . So far, Si seems to be enjoying his birthday. Jess and got the decs up. Hes had a cooked breakfast (he cooked it but still....), weve had lunch delivered (an afternoon tea with scones and cupcakes) and he and Jess have gone to meet Katie and Dom Stan open air food market.

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo! Yeah for 50% of the time! That's much better than last time. 
So glad Si is having a good time lovely.

----------


## Stella180

Happy birthday to Mr. Sparkles

----------

Paula (07-11-20)

----------


## Stella180

How are you feeling now?

----------


## Suzi

What'cha up to today?

----------


## Paula

Mainly still trying to stave off the headache. But Im getting there

----------


## Suzi

Is it lessening?

----------


## Paula

Slowly. As long as I dont sit up too long. Still very dizzy

----------


## Suzi

Is this LP side effects or could it be lithium again?

----------


## Paula

Definitely LP - it gets worse the longer I sit up. Itll pass

----------


## Stella180

I know you’ll hate be for saying this but maybe you should by horizontal a bit longer. I know the side effects can last a week and maybe more so please take it easy as much as you can.

----------

Paula (09-11-20),Suzi (09-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

Morning gorgeous, how are you today?

----------


## Paula

Getting there, Im currently upright  :O: . But Im going to take it easy today, I dont want to push it and take a step backwards - the hole will still be healing over at this stage

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you're being sensible...

----------


## Paula

Just had a call from the sleep clinic. They want me to see the consultant tomorrow afternoon. Si doesnt want me to go into hospital so got arsey . Another thing is its at the cardiology unit - Im hoping thats just where the consultant happens to be atm

----------


## Suzi

Is that your local hospital? What are you going to do?

----------


## Stella180

That’s not usually. What are they looking at? Sleep apnoea?

----------


## Paula

I dont know. Si was cross that I didnt ask what it was for but it was the admin person, who wouldnt have been able to tell me anyway. I tried calling back but couldnt get through, Si wants me to try again in the morning so well see

----------


## Stella180

Sleep apnoea is a thoracic condition so not really a surprise for it to be linked with cardio.

----------


## Paula

But why the sudden urgency? I had the test in September and heard nothing, then this

----------


## Strugglingmum

I know in our local hospital consultants are seeing patients in different places. It's to stop there being a large crowd of patients in OPD. 
Each consultant has a separate part of the hospital to bring patients to. It's also in areas where there is a low patient traffic so to reduce risk of Covid.  Maybe they had a cancellation and that's why it's short notice.

----------

Flo (10-11-20),Paula (09-11-20),Stella180 (09-11-20)

----------


## Suzi

I hope you find out in the morning lovely.

----------


## Flo

Ooh! hospital appts. are gold dust. Good luck love.

----------


## Suzi

Hey you, any news?

----------


## Paula

I havent bothered ringing. Stella made a very good point last night - if I have sleep apnoea, theyll want to fit me for a mask etc so I need to go.

----------


## Suzi

Is Si going with you?

----------


## Paula

Always  :O:

----------

Suzi (10-11-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Good luck. X

----------

Paula (10-11-20)

----------


## Paula

So, I have sleep apnoea and (as I have meds that sedate me, have lost weight and have to sleep on my back) theres not much I can do to alleviate it, Ive been given a cpap machine to try for a month.

Im shattered

----------


## Suzi

So, how do you feel about it?

----------


## Paula

Well, apparently its not ok to wake up after 8 hours sleep, have your breakfast and then doze off again over your iPad - which Si has noticed I do more often than not. So, Ill give it a go. If Si laughs at me, I will do damage......

----------


## Suzi

Oh? That's not ok? I thought it was something that just happened with aging.....  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Pfft..

----------


## Stella180

Oh Suzi, I crack the age jokes around here. 
Youll be fine. When I was diagnosed I was told I was waking 120 times an hour!!! I was totally unaware. Using the CPAP has changed my life and although it was difficult to get comfortable at first but now I cant sleep without it.

----------

Paula (10-11-20),Suzi (10-11-20)

----------


## Paula

I hurled the mask away at 3am..... but Si said I didnt snore, so thats good news

----------


## Stella180

A few hours is better than none. It’s a bit weird isn’t it?

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you got some sleep lovely.... From what I've heard it does get easier....

----------


## Paula

> A few hours is better than none. Its a bit weird isnt it?


Its not the mask, its the wind blowing up my nose thats uncomfortable. But Ill get used to it. However, if Si makes one more Darth Vader comment, I may do him harm  :O:

----------


## Suzi

He's a brave, brave man.....

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Stella180

Hahaha, nice one Si

----------


## Angie

:(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

At least you managed some hours. 
As Suzi said, I've heard you get used to it. 
Imagine how rested you will be when you get proper sleep!!

----------


## Paula

I thought I was getting proper sleep, but Sis answers to the doctor told otherwise lol

----------


## Suzi

Oh lol...

----------


## Paula

My babys got a mortgage offer! I feel old .....

----------

Stella180 (12-11-20)

----------


## Angie

Awww sweetie but well done Katie xx

----------


## Suzi

Aww well done Katie! 

You're not old love, you're like a fine wine  :O:

----------


## Stella180

That’s fab news. I bet she’s over the moon.

----------


## Paula

> Thats fab news. I bet shes over the moon.


She really is  :): 




> Aww well done Katie! 
> 
> You're not old love, you're like a fine wine


What? Aged?  :O:

----------


## Stella180

Mature and full bodied?

----------


## Suzi

I was thinking more about deliciously amazing and very expensive....  :(rofl):   :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Paula

I dont want to celebrate too early, given recent DWP behaviour on the subject, but Ive had a letter saying theyve put back my review til Oct 2022. Which means I dont have to worry about my car just yet  :):

----------


## Angie

Thats brilliant news hunni x

----------


## Stella180

I’m expecting to go to appeal with mine. I’m really glad you have a couple of years breather.

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's fantastic huni. Great news.....and a relief for you.

----------


## Suzi

So pleased for you!

----------


## Paula

photo image hosting


So I finished my big project of a mini hat for the Innocent drinks Age UK Big Knit. Kind of chuffed considering Im really a newbie knitter  :): . What colour to do next?.....

----------


## Angie

That is so cute

----------

Paula (17-11-20)

----------


## Stella180

That is so cool. I need one to fit on my noggin now  :O:

----------

Paula (17-11-20)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Well done!!

----------

Paula (17-11-20)

----------


## Jaquaia

Love it!!!

----------

Paula (17-11-20)

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## magie06

That's really good Paula. Well done.

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Paula (17-11-20)

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## Suzi

That's really cool! Well done!  :):

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Paula (17-11-20)

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## Paula

Its not really good, its average beginner at best, but its a starting place for me and its for charity so....

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Stella180 (17-11-20)

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## Suzi

I think it's fabulous, I can't knit anything apart from a "rustic" scarf....

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## Stella180

Rustic being the new word for dropped stitches? That’s one level above me lol

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## Suzi

Lol... Just "random textures and tensions"....

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## Stella180

> Its not really good, its average beginner at best, but its a starting place for me and its for charity so....


Oh shut up woman and accept the fact that we all think you made a seriously cute little bottle hat for a great cause. Its better than anything I could do cos I wouldnt know where to start.

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Angie (18-11-20),Paula (17-11-20),Suzi (18-11-20)

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## Paula

> I think it's fabulous, I can't knit anything apart from a "rustic" scarf....


Yeah, well, its been so long since my gran tried to teach me, I had to watch a video on how to cast on  :O:

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## Jaquaia

> It’s not really good, it’s average beginner at best, but its a starting place for me and it’s for charity so....


It is really good. Your tension looks good and the stitches look even! 




> Yeah, well, it’s been so long since my gran tried to teach me, I had to watch a video on how to cast on


So did I!

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Paula (18-11-20)

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## Suzi

Morning love, how are you today? What's on your agenda?

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## Paula

Im ok but overslept. Woke up at 10 ( I honestly cant remember the last time I slept that late) and had to rush around for breakfast and shower before a hospital team meeting at 11! So today, a little bit of housework and then study

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## Mira

Take it easy Princess. I am sorry to say that I think I forgot what you are studying?

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Paula (18-11-20)

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## Paula

No worries - its a theological course  :):

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## Mira

I do remember that, sorry about that. And sorry about the princess. That was meant in the nicest way.

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## Paula

I liked it  :):

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## Stella180

an Ology. You get an ology and you’re a scientist.

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## Suzi

I'm glad you slept in, you obviously needed it.... How's the study going?

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## Paula

Fine so far, just reading about war, obviously  :O:

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## Suzi

Obviously..... lol

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## Jaquaia

Have you seen the Christmas Snags??

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## Paula

Oh yes, the diamond pink ones are on order, the sparkle ones are in my drawer (and Ive got the burgundy and purple ones just cos  :O: )

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## Jaquaia

The gold spotty ones are quite cool! Wouldn't have the guts to wear the elf stripey ones!

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## Paula

Nooo thats beyond even me!

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## Suzi

If I wore anything apart from leggings then I'd wear them  :O:

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## Paula

I had an asthma attack last night. Feeling like some hulking builder is standing on your chest is not pleasant. So Im taking it easy today - maybe an hour of study but otherwise Ill be watching The Crown and knitting

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## Suzi

Oh love, do you know what triggered it?

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## Angie

Oh sweetie, rest today sounds the best thing

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## Strugglingmum

Oh dear. Hope a restful day relaxes you.

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## Paula

> Oh love, do you know what triggered it?


No, but its been building - Ive been using my blue inhaler the last few days, and I rarely use it normally

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## Angie

:(bear):

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## Suzi

:(bear):  I'm glad you're going to take it easy today...

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## Flo

:(bear):  :(bear):

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## Paula

Awwww, I told Sithis year I didnt want a chocolate advent calendar. So hes bought me a Cath Kidston one!

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Suzi (23-11-20)

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## Stella180

He spoils you. My cousin bought a Jack Daniels one a couple of years back. A shot of whiskey every day in the lead up the Christmas lol

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## OldMike

Had to Google Cath Kidson, handbags  :(smirk):  I'd definitely go for a chocky advent calendar any day  :O:

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## Paula

They do a lot more than handbags, Mike, and my calendar is beauty stuff. Much better for my diet than chocolate  :O: 


I have a question which the PM failed to answer this afternoon. What about if Im shielding? Do I go back to the same normal? Actually, thats 2 questions  :O:

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## Suzi

I'm currently watching the PM drivel trying to work out wtf he is actually saying... Something about cavalry coming over the hill, but not to be "jolly cat" about Christmas and not to have parties with older people, but hoping that Easter will be better? F*cked if I know wtf he's saying....

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## Suzi

Morning Princess Sparkles, how are you today?

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## Paula

Im ok, just wish there was clarification on the rules. I know it sounds silly but Katie and I always put up the Christmas tree together, always on 1st December. Wed sort of decided to delay til end of lockdown, assuming the rules allowed, but I dont know if Im allowed to see her next week or not.

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## OldMike

I saw our illustrious leader doing his virtual statement to parliament and was not overly impressed oop north it looks like I'll be in tier 3 with pubs and bars still closed so no change there.

Paula I thought that shielding had ended but then again I could be wrong  :O: 

Hope you can see Katie on Xmas day.

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## Paula

At the beginning of the current lockdown, I was told that I was advised to shield again

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## Stella180

I think you need to decide the risk for yourself. Or maybe Jess could step in for Katie this year. Be nice for you to do something together.

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## Angie

Depending on what tier you are in and going into depends on visitors but if people are in your support bubble they can visit, Jay for instance still comes here as he comes to see Caitlin that is still allowed and he helps me as my car is not usable right now, so it would depend on tiers etc. But also common sense aswell.

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## Paula

I thought support bubbles were for people who live alone?

Stella, theres no way on this planet Jess would help with the Christmas tree  :(rofl): . Its not about helping me as just something me and Katie do..... Jess isnt interested but it became a fun tradition for me and Katie

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## Suzi

There is no clarification until you have been told what tier you're going into.... The whole handling of this has been p*ss poor at best... 
I hope you do get to do it together love.

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## Angie

It makes no difference with me as he comes to see Caitlin anyway but she wont go to the shop on her own and Ryan doing his college cant alway go when I need him to. This has to stop at some point, put facemasks and visors on, sanitise hands on entry etc keep distance can still do that in a house.

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Stella180 (24-11-20)

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## Strugglingmum

I know how special those traditions are Paula. Really hope you get to see Katie soon. Xx

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## Paula

I know I keep going on about not seeing Katie, and I know so many others are in the same boat, but Im 99% certain this is the last time well be doing Christmas together. Shes buying her house and next year shes going to be making her own traditions, putting up her own tree, and having Christmas dinner in her own home, cooked by her trained chef boyfriend. I just want to make the most of this year

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## Mira

But thats ok, I am sure we can all understand how important it is for you. Here you are allowed to see people but not to many. But here she and her boyfriend would be ok to come visit.

I hope it will happen for you  :Panda:

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Paula (24-11-20)

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## Suzi

That's more than understandable lovely....

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## Strugglingmum

The news is out. You can see Katie over Christmas.  Xx

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## Angie

Yup upto 3 families on christmas day at least can mix, but use your judgement etc, something I heard last night and saw again tonight xx

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## Paula

Yay!! I get to see Katie!!! Im so relieved  :): 

Its 3 households total for the whole 5 day period. So, as Katie and Dom will be bubbling with us, so she can see her dad well bubble with him. So ironically, the only other people we can meet during the whole Christmas period will be my ex husband and (because theyll be living with them in a couple of weeks) Doms parents, who we havent yet met  :(rofl):

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## Stella180

Maybe you can remedy that during the 5 days of Christmas (yep the song has been restricted due to Covid)

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## Paula

Must I?

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## Stella180

You have to meet your daughters future out laws.

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## Paula

Im not looking forward to it, and Katies not keen either.

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## Stella180

So what? You wait til the day of the wedding? You’re going to be family eventually if you’re right about them tying the knot.

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## Suzi

Lol! It can't be worse than my parents and meeting Marc's parents... My Mum still hates his and His Mum still hates mine.... 

How are you this morning Princess Sparkles?

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## Paula

Ok, ta.

Stella, I know but I dont particularly want to have that meeting over my precious time with Katie

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## Strugglingmum

4 days with Katie and 2 hrs with the future in-laws?? :(giggle):

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## Flo

But you hold the ace card Paula...when she has babies it'll be you that she comes to for help and babysitting...the outlaws might get the odd look in if they're lucky!

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## OldMike

My dad used to hate going to his mother in law's for Xmas she used to spend ages selecting a turkey and it was always tough  :(giggle):

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## Paula

> But you hold the ace card Paula...when she has babies it'll be you that she comes to for help and babysitting...the outlaws might get the odd look in if they're lucky!


Ah, well there lies the rub. MIL is an alcoholic so has already been told that, unless she sobers up, she wont be allowed any babysitting duties.....

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## Suzi

We had same issues with Marc's Dad. He was never allowed to be alone with them when he was drinking.

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## Paula

Apparently she drinks every day, currently from 1pm til she passes out

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## Stella180

That’s really sad. Such a shame.

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## Paula

Yeah.

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## Flo

Yes, it's such a shame....she'll be losing out on such a lot.

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## Suzi

Poor Dom.... I know how badly Marc and his sister have struggled with their Dad, but to be fair his Mum is just difficult and acts more like a young teenager all the time too....

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## Mira

That is rough indeed. My step father was an alcoholic and I had a few in the family. It can but up barriers and so much arguments.

Its a good thing they have you for advice and guidance.

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## Paula

I *might* have overdone it today. I went for a walk with Katie, did some housework, then spent hours wrapping presents. I got up and was very, very dizzy and nauseous......

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## Jaquaia

Rest tomorrow?

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## Paula

I think so

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## Suzi

Are you eating and drinking enough love? Can you rest this evening?

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## Mira

I hope you can manage to rest now. Take it easy  :Panda:

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Paula (27-11-20)

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## Suzi

Yo Sparkles! Fancy starting a new thread as this is now over 100 pages  :O:

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## Strugglingmum

Rest up princess

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Paula (27-11-20)

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## Paula

> Are you eating and drinking enough love? Can you rest this evening?


Possibly not drinking enough tbh. The change in IIH meds means Im not gasping with thirst all the time, so I keep forgetting.....




> Yo Sparkles! Fancy starting a new thread as this is now over 100 pages


Wow! How did that happen? Will do, boss  :O:

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## Suzi

Thanks chick.

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