# Help and Advice > Home straight >  Putting my life back together (SH Triggers)

## UncleChip

After opening up and leaving my previous job, I'm still in negotiations for a settlement and what I believe to be the final batch of paperwork has come through. I just need to sign it and send it back.

Additionally, I went for a job interview this morning. While the prospective new employer doesn't seem to be too impressed by my suitability for the role I applied for, he does like some of the software I have created, so there may be an alternative role for me.

On my way to the interview, I met one of the friends who left my previous workplace quite by accident. She was quite happy to see me, and I her, and she even hoped I would have a good day - something she never said at work, so she must be happier since leaving too.

I still need to finish collecting the last of the items from my office, as well as some of the programs I had written from their computers, but I'll need their permission to do that. I'm also not allowed to say goodbye to everyone until the paperwork is finalised, but I won't say anything potentially harmful about my former employer. I'll just keep it brief, something along the lines of "On the suggestion of medical experts and with the support of head office, I have decided to resign. You deserve someone who can keep pace, and while I'd like to take you all with me, I know you have responsibilities here."

Also, I've started driving on a semi-regular basis. I just need to wait for my wife to be in before I try to park the car on the drive, but we've knocked one of the gate posts down to give me an extra foot of clearance.

I'd like to thank everyone here for their advice. I'm not fully recovered yet, but I'm feeling much better.

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## Suzi

That's all really positive! Well done!

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## Paula

That put a huge smile on my face  :):

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## UncleChip

Well, it's about 2 months since I left my last job and I'm still looking. My son's school might still be looking for someone with my skills, but the problem is it was also my school a long time ago. Given the history of bullying I experienced there, I think there's a risk of it opening up old wounds.

I told my wife I'd call tomorrow when the staff are back, but I'm having second thoughts.
But I have an interview lined up for Tuesday afternoon, so I may finally have found somewhere that'll make full use of my skills without giving me a nervous breakdown.

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## Suzi

Good luck for Tuesday.

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## Paula

I hope goes well!

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## UncleChip

The initial interview with the recruiter went well, but I didn't make as good a first impression with the company.

Still, I doubt I'd have fitted in there. I've been given a challenge by another potential employer, so I've been programming all week to try and meet their requirements.

After attending a stress management course for 6 weeks, I've been recommended for one-to-one support.

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## Suzi

I'm glad you're being referred for one to one support. I think that will be very positive for you. 
Sorry the first impression didn't go to plan - have you contacted them and asked for feedback as to why it wasn't more favourable?

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## UncleChip

They interpreted my apology for not researching their company prior to the interview due to a hectic week as me being "too busy to do the research."

There's probably a lot they don't know, so I won't lash out for them being harsh with me, but I have a wife and 3 children to look after. When I'm only given 2 days to prepare, there's only so much I can do in terms of research, and most of that time was spent working out the best route to drive there.

My first appointment for one-to-one is in early December, but I'm used to these sorts of things being in excess of 2 weeks to sort out.

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## Paula

Ok, then maybe that interview can be thought about as training - next time youll appreciate that its just as important to research the company properly as it is to make sure youre able to get there on time

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## Suzi

Why did it take so long to work out how to get there? Do you have sat nav? Or Google maps? 
What else was taking your time? 2 days may not be a lot of time to prepare, but if you had wanted the job badly enough then you would have made time surely?

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## UncleChip

I tried using a sat-nav app on my phone, but it was so quiet that I missed a turn at the final roundabout and got there with only seconds to spare. But the biggest time sink I've found since becoming unemployed is looking after the house. I've no idea how my wife coped before she got a job, or how she fits everything in around having a job now.

Maybe it's because I'm not used to these tasks that I'm so slow at them.

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## Paula

Hows the job hunting going?

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## Suzi

Which things are you finding the hardest? 

Hope the job hunting is going well? Have you turned up the volume of the sat nav? Are you getting much driving practise in?

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## UncleChip

I've found the setting for the volume - awkwardly the volume buttons only control the ringtone volume unless I'm playing a video or a music track, so there's no way I can adjust the sat-nav volume while the app is running, but I've turned it up now.

I keep getting phone calls from recruiters, but when they pass my details on to potential employers, 9 times out of 10 I'm rejected straight away.
I'm getting one-to-one help to find a job, due to the depression I'm recovering from, but I'm relying on savings and I don't know how much longer they'll last.

The longest household jobs I'm finding include vacuuming every room, collecting my daughter from school and emptying the kitchen bin, which prompts me to engage in a long and painful series of hand-washing. I've got moisturiser, but it makes my hands slippery and I'm worried about that when I'm driving, so I don't use the moistueriser unless I'm going to bed.

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## Suzi

Have you spoken to your GP about your hand washing issue? Why don't you get a different moisturiser which isn't greasy?

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## UncleChip

I didn't know non-greasy moisturisers were available, but that's a good suggestion.

I guess between my depression, the pains in my arm and leg, and various other things I've been to see the doctor about in the last 8 weeks I'm scared that I'll come across as a hypocondriac if I go in with my skin condition so soon.

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## Paula

If its an issue, you need to talk to your doctor. Tbh, itll be a lot easier to get an appointment before you get your next job

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## Suzi

I completely agree with Paula. If you need to see someone then go...

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## Prycejosh1987

> After opening up and leaving my previous job, I'm still in negotiations for a settlement and what I believe to be the final batch of paperwork has come through. I just need to sign it and send it back.
> 
> Additionally, I went for a job interview this morning. While the prospective new employer doesn't seem to be too impressed by my suitability for the role I applied for, he does like some of the software I have created, so there may be an alternative role for me.
> 
> On my way to the interview, I met one of the friends who left my previous workplace quite by accident. She was quite happy to see me, and I her, and she even hoped I would have a good day - something she never said at work, so she must be happier since leaving too.
> 
> I still need to finish collecting the last of the items from my office, as well as some of the programs I had written from their computers, but I'll need their permission to do that. I'm also not allowed to say goodbye to everyone until the paperwork is finalised, but I won't say anything potentially harmful about my former employer. I'll just keep it brief, something along the lines of "On the suggestion of medical experts and with the support of head office, I have decided to resign. You deserve someone who can keep pace, and while I'd like to take you all with me, I know you have responsibilities here."
> 
> Also, I've started driving on a semi-regular basis. I just need to wait for my wife to be in before I try to park the car on the drive, but we've knocked one of the gate posts down to give me an extra foot of clearance.
> ...


Good to hear. Progress happens then your make the changes, and your have made changes and is really changing your life around. You always have these things with you, the skills to work a decent job and you have a wife, etc. Keep going and dont stop and keep believing in yourself. Good luck and all the best with everything.

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## Suzi

Please check the dates on the threads, this one is from November 2018!

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