# Help and Advice > Friend/relative has depression support >  A poem for my husband....

## Blacklab

Something I have done from a very young age, is to put my feelings into poetry. I am having a very hard time explaining to my husband at the moment how I am feeling, so I am leaving him this to find in the morning:


I get that you have the black dog
of depression on your head
I get that you can't help rip apart
the things I've done and said
I get that you need a friendly ear
and I know that its not mine
And believe me when I say to you
I've tried to give you time

But what I don't get is what I've done 
to deserve all this pain?
I cannot just stand by and watch
12 years go down the drain
I try to be supportive
And do whatever I can
But I am just one person
And I can't help who I am

I've tried so hard there's nothing left
And now I'm numb inside
And all I want to do is run
And find somewhere to hide
But there are children in the background
And no matter how I think
It is simply impossible
For both of us to sink.


Not sure it will do any good, but at least he might get just a little inkling of how I feel.

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## Suzi

:(bear):  What happened? Did he say anything when he found it?

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## Blacklab

Sorry I didn't come back to this. I chickened out. Got out of bed and ripped it up. Not sure it would have got me anywhere. Just one of those...where it seemed like a good idea at the time. Thanks for asking though x

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## Suzi

But sweetheart your feelings are just as valued and important..

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## Paula

Suzi's right. I wasn't willing to tell my hubby that I am seriously struggling. I felt I needed to keep quiet because he's just started a new job, 12 hour days etc. I had a complete meltdown last night and it all came flooding out, sobs, snot and all.  What I'm trying to say is that if I'd talked to him before, we could have avoided getting to the point where I'm currently in a bad way, if I'd have just been honest.  I know your situation is different but, like me, you're only going to hurt yourself if you continue like this ....

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Suzi (06-05-17)

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## sneax

"For both of us to sink."



...
felling kinda... bit paralyzed now. Siking is a moving metaphor. 

Thanks for all the constructive words above, I'm getting all emotional while reading things like that, even tho artistically it's miles away from what I like.

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