# Help and Advice > Questions/Information about depression >  My girlfriend is making my depression worse

## TheGrump

Im really struggling to the point of breaking up with my girlfriend over my depression. 

Naturally Im a loner and I need downtime even after fairly standard social interactions.  Work drains me badly during the week and spending time with people during the evenings and weekends can literally badly upset my balance for weeks afterwards.

Now I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend but she doesnt either understand or care that socially actually makes me suffer.  I am quite happy to spend the day with her but then she tries to organise things for the next day and get irrated because I dont want to see her but I need that downtime to recover.  She constantly pushes and pushes at me with no respite, I have got to the stage I cannot open her text messages anyway because my anxiety goes into overdrive.

I dont know what to do anymore, mild hints go unnoticed, being clear in what I need just makes her become pushy to the point I get into a bad mood and lock up, the only thing that seems to work is ignoring her or being nasty but I dont want to upset her.

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. Have you told her how you are feeling? Have you spoken to your Dr?

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## TheGrump

I have told her countless times, infact even last night we had a discussion about it,  then today it was like we never even had the discussion.

I’ve gave up on doctors, meds and counselling. I know my triggers and I know how to deal with them, people just don’t understand I need downtime to deal with it.

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## Suzi

Can I ask why you gave up on doctors, meds and counselling? 
How long have you been together?

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## Paula

Hi and welcome. Its common for our loved ones to think that, if they push, we can get past it. To a certain extent it is important to push ourselves when we can but obviously your girlfriend hasnt understood your limits. Take a look at the Time to Change website, it can help with talking about the illness with those who care about us

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## Flo

Welcome to DWD  :(hi):  I can vouch for what Paula has suggested. Time to Change website have some very useful info and common sense approaches. Good luck.

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## OldMike

Hi and welcome to DWD  :(hi):

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## mylifestyle

First of all, Follow my tips.

Love yourself.Don't think of her as there are many girls in this world.Change your lifestyles.Start meditation as there are many **LINK REMOVED BY SUZI AS PER DWD RULES**Consult your family doctor and tell him the whole story.


When you will start meditation you will feel better in many aspects. When I started meditation, I felt following improvements in my body.
Meditation reduced stressIt also encouraged me to change my lifestyle. I changed my habits.It improved my concentration
You can also take help by youtube. watch videos **LINK REMOVED BY SUZI AS PER DWD RULES**

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome. I've removed your links as we don't permit links from new members - as I'm sure you can imagine, we get a lot of people join and then post one link to spam people with and then never return. So we ask that you are an active member for a while first. After all, everyone hates spammers don't they?

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## Paula

Hi and welcome

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## mylifestyle

> Hi and welcome. I've removed your links as we don't permit links from new members - as I'm sure you can imagine, we get a lot of people join and then post one link to spam people with and then never return. So we ask that you are an active member for a while first. After all, everyone hates spammers don't they?


Hi Suzi, I am not promoting any type of website. I was just telling my experience to the person who were asking question. Howere, I will follow the rules. 
thanx.

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Suzi (24-11-18)

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## Prycejosh1987

> Im really struggling to the point of breaking up with my girlfriend over my depression. 
> 
> Naturally Im a loner and I need downtime even after fairly standard social interactions.  Work drains me badly during the week and spending time with people during the evenings and weekends can literally badly upset my balance for weeks afterwards.
> 
> Now I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend but she doesnt either understand or care that socially actually makes me suffer.  I am quite happy to spend the day with her but then she tries to organise things for the next day and get irrated because I dont want to see her but I need that downtime to recover.  She constantly pushes and pushes at me with no respite, I have got to the stage I cannot open her text messages anyway because my anxiety goes into overdrive.
> 
> I dont know what to do anymore, mild hints go unnoticed, being clear in what I need just makes her become pushy to the point I get into a bad mood and lock up, the only thing that seems to work is ignoring her or being nasty but I dont want to upset her.


Your not handling the situation in a way that is positive and good. You can talk to her about the situation and get her response and then work with what she does and says. You should not upset her and cause a strain on the relationship on your part. You are not a loner you have a girlfriend. You have opportunities to help change the situation. You could work to people at your workplace, you can socialise with different guys. Dont you have a family. Communicate with your girlfriend and be open and honest with her.

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