# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Breathing a sigh of relief *SH, SU triggers*

## Paula

New year so I thought a new thread was in order. I dont really normally hold much stock with New Year but as 2018 was a bit of a challenge, this seems as good time as any to sit back and breathe ..... My bible study today reminded me to put my hopes and dreams, and worries, in Gods hands so Im going to try really hard this year to do that.

Thank you all for all the support and love youve shown me in the past year - I couldnt have done it without you  :Kiss:

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## Jaquaia

Of course you could have! You're an amazingly strong woman, it's just that support makes it that little bit easier  :Panda:

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## EJ

Happy New Year Paula. I hope that 2019 brings you much happiness xx

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## magie06

I really hope that you find this year easier and happier than last year was. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

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## Suzi

Pfft you'd have done it without us, but it's more fun doing things together! 

May 2019 be easier for  you lovely....

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## Paula

Thanks, guys  :O:

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## OldMike

As your avatar says "Keep Calm and Sparkle On" which you do admirably, here's wishing you an easier year, cheers  :Tea:  <-- imagine this smiley is glass of wine or a gin and tonic  :O:

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Paula (02-01-19)

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## Suzi

How are you today love?

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## Paula

Tired but I needed to do some housework - I managed cleaning Katies bathroom, hoovering and washing the kitchen and living room floors, and hoovering the downstairs hall. Si came home early to take Jess out for a driving lesson - shes got her practical test on Friday. It means hes here when the shopping turns up, which will help big time.

Other than that, I intended to do some cross stitch but it didnt happen. Tomorrow Im seeing my friend, having my nails done and seeing mum and dad as theyre in the area for a hospital appointment. Oh, and nagging Jess to do her college work  :O:

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## Angie

Please try and pace hunni xx

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## Suzi

Pace love, please?

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## Paula

So, I got my dates wrong re when my cleaner was returning from hols and shes back tomorrow. Which is fantastic but I do feel a bit annoyed with myself as I could have sat down for a bit instead of trying to clean .... I will say, though, if it ever comes to a choice between Si and Mariola, my marriage vows might be challenged  :O:

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## Jaquaia

J's cleaner is called Sandra. A misheard. So now Santa cleans his house!  :(giggle):

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## Suzi

Oh oops!

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## Paula

So...... today went like this. My friend arrived for a coffee at 10.30. At 12.30 I told her I needed to eat, she didnt want lunch. At 1.30 the dog walker turned up and at 1.45 my parents dropped in on their way to a hospital appointment. 5 minutes before my parents had to go, my friend left (at 2.30). A few minutes later was my nail appointment, which lasted twice as long as normal as the gels wouldnt set. I finally had a quiet house at 4.30. I know all these things were good but Im knackered ....

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## Angie

Crikey busy day

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## Jaquaia

How is tomorrow looking? Chance to rest I hope?

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## Strugglingmum

> So...... today went like this. My friend arrived for a coffee at 10.30. At 12.30 I told her I needed to eat, she didn’t want lunch. At 1.30 the dog walker turned up and at 1.45 my parents dropped in on their way to a hospital appointment. 5 minutes before my parents had to go, my friend left (at 2.30). A few minutes later was my nail appointment, which lasted twice as long as normal as the gels wouldn’t set. I finally had a quiet house at 4.30. I know all these things were good but I’m knackered ....


Just thinking of all that is tiring me!! Sounds like you need a quiet one.  :Panda:

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## Suzi

Nothing like packing it in is there? Sounds exhausting!

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## Paula

Tomorrow, Im working.

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## Jaquaia

Bloody hell woman!!! You're a masochist!!! Saturday???

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## Paula

Saturdays free. Sundays my birthday and Ive insisted I dont want to go out anywhere.

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## Strugglingmum

> Saturdays free. Sunday’s my birthday and I’ve insisted I don’t want to go out anywhere.


Awk. I'm a January baby too. . Happy birthday for Sunday in case I forget.  :(party):  :(bear):

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Paula (03-01-19)

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## Jaquaia

I hope you've insisted on cake of some description though?  :O:

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## Paula

Nope. Ive insisted we dont have cake. Weve got tons of chocolate left from Christmas, most of Katies birthday cake and Im on a diet  :O:

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## Jaquaia

You're a stronger woman then I am!!!

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## OldMike

> Awk. I'm a January baby too. . Happy birthday for Sunday in case I forget.


Me too all the best people are born in January  :O: 

How can you have a birthday without cake  :O:

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## Paula

Weve got cake, Mike, its just not my cake  :O: 

Im usually over excited about my birthday but am really struggling this year - it just feels like yet more effort I dont have the energy for.

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## Jaquaia

It's your birthday, you do what you want. If that's vegging out on the sofa doing nothing then it's your birthday!

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Paula (04-01-19)

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## Suzi

Sorry you're struggling lovely.... But Jaq is right. Definitely down to you what you want to do/not do.

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## Paula

Jess passed her driving test!! And she allowed me to hug her!!!

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OldMike (05-01-19)

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## Jaquaia

Woohoo!!!  :(party):

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## Paula

She drove me to work - I can get used to that  :O:  Im so proud of her particularly because she does struggle when shes stressed and nervous. The inspector said hed expected to fail her after the first 10 minutes but she settled down and changed his mind! 

And I had a good day at work as I managed to finish a job that was somewhat of a challenge and took me a few shifts. So all in all a good day.

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## Strugglingmum

Oooh. Having my daughter who holds me at arms length I am definitely more excited about the hug!!!
Well done Jess. So much to be proud if Momma Bear. X

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## Angie

Well done Jess you can have your own chauffeur now lol, and glad today went well at work hunni

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## Suzi

So brilliant on every count!

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## magie06

Jess must be delighted with herself! I didn't pass on my first try, she must be a very good driver. Of course if she takes after her mum, she's brilliant at everything. If your birthday is on Sunday and you don't want to do anything, then you have my permission to do absolutely nothing!!  :O: 
I'm really not surprised that you don't want to do anything because you've been on the go since I came back here. You haven't stopped and that is bound to have an effect on your stamina and mood. Take it easy and relax.

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## Paula

I opened my post yesterday evening, only to find Ive got to have a face to face assessment for my ESA WCA. To say i freaked out has to be an understatement .....

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## Suzi

Logically you can't do anything about it now, so try to put it to the back of your mind. All you can do is go and answer as honestly as possible. Actually the actual f2f aren't that bad. I've been to loads now  :O:  Make sure you call and make them aware that you need space to put your foot up/mobility scooter access.

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## Strugglingmum

> I opened my post yesterday evening, only to find I’ve got to have a face to face assessment for my ESA WCA. To say i freaked out has to be an understatement .....


I totally get that. X :Panda:

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## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

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## Paula

> Logically you can't do anything about it now, so try to put it to the back of your mind. All you can do is go and answer as honestly as possible. Actually the actual f2f aren't that bad. I've been to loads now  Make sure you call and make them aware that you need space to put your foot up/mobility scooter access.


Yeah, Im going to call Monday re accessibility and also tell them my minute taking app will be recording .... My boss/friend is also going to write a note to explain the changes to the role description shes had to make to keep me safe at work, and keep OH happy

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## Suzi

They will say that you aren't allowed to use your own recording devices. If you want it recorded then they have to provide it - 2 CD's

I'm happy to write you something too about how things affect you from what I see if you want?

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## Paula

Thank you but Ive still got your comments from the questionnaire  :):

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## Suzi

Awesome  :O:  Shout if you want/need anything....

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Paula (06-01-19)

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## Paula

Ive rung about my assessment. Theyre so flexible - not. I can only have a home assessment if my doctor writes to say I cannot leave the house _at all_. The centre is accessible physically however I asked about a quiet space I can sit in while waiting to help with my anxiety but got told Ill ask, but if they havent got anywhere, theres nothing they can do. I also asked if I could use my (professional standard) minute taking app to record the assessment. Apparently I can, if I can give them a hard copy transcript immediately after the assessment .......

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## Suzi

(hugs) Am currently doing a MR for Marc and it sucks. Half of what he said he's been scored 0 on..... So much harder than it needs to be. 

You have every sympathy... Did you ask for them to record it?

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## Mira

Well that..... I hope they do have a place for you to wait so that can help a little. Its a shame that they always say oh if there is anything we can do to help just ask. And then when you ask its an inconvenience to say the least.

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Paula (07-01-19)

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## Paula

> You have every sympathy... Did you ask for them to record it?


I did, and was told that he would pass the info on but they cant guarantee on the day

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## Suzi

What does Si say about it all?

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## Paula

That well cope  :O:

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## Suzi

He's right, you will...

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Paula (08-01-19)

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## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

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## Paula

Eurgh, had my dentist appointment. The good news is there is a dental problem causing the pain and its not CRPS. The bad news is my bridge/crowns etc arent fitting properly anymore and its exposing stuff that doesnt want to be exposed. Which means having it all replaced (£3k gulp) and means getting it done might cause problems with CRPS. So Im going to do some research for the dentist on CRPS and dentistry, and go from there.

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## Jaquaia

Ouch!!!

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## Suzi

Ewwww..... Sorry love...

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## Paula

Hes suggested he might prescribe Valium - whether for me for the procedure or for Si when he gets the bills Im not sure  :O:

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## Strugglingmum

Eeeeeeks!!!! (To both the procedure and the cost)

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## Angie

:(bear):

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## Paula

Ive just told Si. Bless him, he managed to stay upright  :(rofl): .

Hes having a bad day - a young guy offered him his seat on the train  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

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## Mira

Sending a berenknuffel  :(bear):

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Paula (08-01-19)

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## Strugglingmum

> Ive just told Si. Bless him, he managed to stay upright .
> 
> Hes having a bad day - a young guy offered him his seat on the train


 :(rofl):  :(rofl):  poor Si.

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## Suzi

> Ive just told Si. Bless him, he managed to stay upright .
> 
> Hes having a bad day - a young guy offered him his seat on the train


 :(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl): Poor Si!

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## OldMike

Hey if anyone offers me a seat I'll take it  :O:

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## Suzi

How are you lovely?

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## Paula

Im good, Ive had lunch with my bf (and been spoilt again as got lots of pressies  :O: ). She also suffers with CRPS so I can never pretend with her, mind you lol

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## Suzi

I'm glad you've had some good time out. You deserve it!

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Paula (09-01-19)

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## Suzi

I was searching for my vid of the day for Mike and I came across this and no idea why, but it made me think of you... Enjoy...

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OldMike (10-01-19)

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## Paula

Oh myyyyyyyy. Well, obviously you thought of me - he definitely shares a certain grace and elegance with me  :O:

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## Suzi

Yup  :O:  That's it exactly......

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## Paula

Ive been mega irritable today and coupled with my arm and hand being tingling, numb and painful all at once (impossible, right?) I warned my family to keep well clear, got my head down with cross stitch and binge watched White Princess. Im feeling a bit calmer now. Doesnt help that Polos ill - he had an upset tummy on Tuesday and it returned with a bang yesterday. Si and I were washing floors after midnight last night as he trod it through the house  :(: . Hes also got a very tender tummy (and really told Si off when he touched it). Si and Jess are going to the cinema in a minute so Im hoping Polo wont be wanting to go outside too often ....

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## Angie

:(bear):

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## Jaquaia

:Panda:

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## Allalone

:Panda:

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## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

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## Paula

Polos still poorly, Si spent the night on the sofa....  Im trying not to overly fret about it but after he was so ill last year, and after losing Luna, Im not succeeding tbh.

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## Flo

Hope Polo is feeling better today. Have you taken his temp.? has he maybe been snaffling something he shouldn't? Foreign object? My Penny - greyhound, scoffed almost a kilo of venison stewing steak that was in a bag in the back of the car when Ian was shopping. She ate the bag and cling film too! Ian had the unenviable job of pulling the bag and clingfilm out a day later! She was extremely lucky as it could have been curtains. How's your hand today love?xx

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## Suzi

Oh no! I hope Polo is feeling a bit better this morning...

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## Paula

Last summer when Polo and Luna were really ill, bloods did show Polos pancreas was struggling a bit which was likely a chronic problem. He seems brighter over the last couple of hours but I think Ill get some bloods done to check on how the pancreas is doing

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## Jaquaia

Sounds like a good idea and will hopefully set your mind to rest  :Panda:

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## Allalone

:Panda:

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## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

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## Suzi

How are you doing love? I know how much you worry...

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## Paula

Polo seems a bit better but Im still taking him to the vets for a blood test. Im ok, ta

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## Suzi

Sounds sensible to me. He's one very special and loved puppy dog!

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Paula (13-01-19)

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## Strugglingmum

:Panda: 
Big hugs fellow mummy of a furbaby. Xx 
Hope Polo's blood results come back ok. They really are such a worry but we still adore them. X

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## Suzi

Morning gorgeous, how are you? How is Polo? How are the other team Sparkles members?

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## Paula

Im better for my quiet weekend, thanks  :): . Polo is fine (and hungry) but Ive got an appt this evening for him. The rest of our little team are good, Jess has her first mock today - hopefully shes revised lol. Today, Im going to start prep for my ESA Assessment, cant say Im looking forward to it mind you but needs must.

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## Suzi

Good luck for the prep work and for Polo... 
Hope the mock is kind to Jess. Ben has his at the end of the month...

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## Paula

Polos on antibiotics, bless him, and has had bloods taken - theyre going to look at pancreas, kidneys, liver etc just to cover all the bases. Hes probably fine except for an infection but given his age and how poorly he was last year I didnt want to take any chances. Also, its only been a couple of months since we lost Luna, Im not ready to lose him too so if there is something lingering, best to find out now and get him treatment early.

Im also a bit miffed at Si. He got cross about the cost of the bloods - yet wed both decided yesterday we wanted them to be done 

Im shattered. For some reason I was up at 5.45am this morning .....night everybody

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## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  :(bear):

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## Jaquaia

:Panda:

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## Paula

Work this afternoon so chilling this morning  :):

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## Suzi

Have you and Si talked things through and sorted things out?

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## Paula

Yeah, its fine. Hes just a bit more touchy about money at the moment  - December and January are always expensive mo this  :O:

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## Suzi

:(rofl):  Aren't they just?!

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## Paula

Sometimes I really hate being right. Polos bloods have come back and hes got kidney disease. Because I insisted on the tests, though  :O: , we caught it early and can help him with a special diet and stopping his rheumocam meds. 

Its been a long afternoon and Im really sore. Still, nothing planned for tomorrow so I can rest up

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## Angie

Oh hunni am sorry about Polo hopefully the treatment helps please pace

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## Suzi

Poor Polo!

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## Paula

Had Housegroup tonight - I cried a little bit. Im so terrified of this assessment on Monday .....

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## Jaquaia

:Panda:

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## Suzi

OK, why did you cry at housegroup? 

What is it that terrifies you about the assessment? I can talk you through what happens and how it's all done if you want? I've been to loads now as I take me for mine, Marc for his, his Mum for hers..... Oh and always claim back the cost of getting there and home again  :O:

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## Paula

I cried because Ive been holding the tension for 2 weeks now. What terrifies me is a combination of stress over actually getting there and coping with the environment, worry about whether Im going to answer their questions and, mainly, fear that theyll call me a fraud ......

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## magie06

You are NOT a fraud! I know it's on your mind but talk about it. We're here to listen.

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Paula (17-01-19)

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## Suzi

You aren't a fraud. I felt like a fraud, but when you start listing the issues you have and looking at what you can't do - instead of what you can and you know deep down that you aren't. If it doesn't go how it should then you put in a MR, then a tribunal... You can do this.

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## OldMike

I can only echo what Suzi and Magie have said, you'll have Si with you to put them straight  :(bear):   :Panda:

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## Strugglingmum

I've no words of wisdom but always a hug. X :Panda:

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## Paula

I got a text from my boss saying shes off sick so I cant work tomorrow - Im not allowed by occ health to do the shift on my own. That doesnt make me feel good at all but I suppose I shouldnt feel like a fraud and useless at the same time, right?

Still, it means I get to see mum and dad

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## Jaquaia

Silver lining  :Panda:

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## Suzi

I think right now you seeing your parents is more important anyway... You could do with their extra love and support in person right now...

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Paula (17-01-19)

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## Allalone

Sending love and hugs. :Panda:

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## Paula

Ive got a cold and last night had earache which is just one of those things - but I went to bed in my make up, without brushing my teeth and with my earrings in. I dont think Ive been that lazy in years!!  :(rofl):

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## Strugglingmum

Sounds like an awesome day to get bonus time with your parents. x

 :Panda:

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## Suzi

Then maybe a day with your parentals is exactly what you need?

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## Allalone

Then spending some quality time with your parents is just what you need!
 :Panda:

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## magie06

I hope you are enjoying your time with your parents.

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## Paula

> Then spending some quality time with your parents is just what you need!


It really was  :):  and Ive had my hair done. Some much needed tlc all round

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## Suzi

Pace this weekend please?

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## Paula

Yes, boss  :O:

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Suzi (18-01-19)

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## Flo

Ooh! mum and dad are with you? Lovely, you enjoy every minute of it. I really miss my parents. :Panda:

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## Paula

Today is 6 years since I had my fall. Im less upset about it than I expected. Maybe Im getting over it?

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## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

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## Suzi

I was going to say happy anniversary till I saw what it was for... Maybe you're accepting it?

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## Paula

Possibly, though Ive had a few tears and a tub of Ben & Jerrys lol

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## Strugglingmum

Its like Mary Poppins sang
Just a spoonful of Ben and Jerrys helps the bad memories a bit easier to handle. !! 
Or something like that anyway. Well done you. Xx :Panda:

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Paula (19-01-19)

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## Suzi

I think you are well deserved some ice cream and tears...  :Panda:  :Panda:

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Paula (19-01-19)

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## Paula

Ive been reading all my docs for the assessment tomorrow - I feel sick .....

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## Jaquaia

:Panda:

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## Suzi

Stop reading. You need to rest as much as you can as you know your anxiety is going to be high tomorrow. What time is your appointment? Will you text me after and let me know you got out OK? Please? Then you are under orders to rest as much as possible.

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## Paula

Ive been shaking all evening... appointments at 9 and, yes, Ill text. Then rest lol

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## EJ

:Panda:

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Paula (21-01-19)

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## Strugglingmum

At least you get it over early. xx (Ok I know, not much of a silver lining)
You are going to be ok. You are not a fraud. You are worthy of financial help. 
Si is going with you isn't he?? 
Praying for you. Xx

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Paula (21-01-19)

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## Strugglingmum

:(bear):  :Panda: 
Thinking of you. You can do this. 
We are all with you in spirit. 
You have Si.  
You are not a fraud.
You deserve this help.
 You are stronger than you believe you are right now.... yes you are!!
I believe you. 
I believe in you. 
Tears are not a sign of weakness.
Praying for peace that passes all understanding for you today. X

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Paula (21-01-19)

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## Allalone

Thinking of you today Paula.x

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Paula (21-01-19),Strugglingmum (21-01-19)

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## Suzi

With you in spirit. 

I'll let everyone know when I hear anything from Paula x

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Angie (21-01-19),Paula (21-01-19)

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## Jaquaia

Thinking of you lovely  :Panda:

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Paula (21-01-19)

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## OldMike

> Ive been shaking all evening... appointments at 9 and, yes, Ill text. Then rest lol


Hope all goes well  :(bear):   :Panda:

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Paula (21-01-19)

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## magie06

Keeping you in my prayers.

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Paula (21-01-19)

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## Suzi

Sorry guys! I'm rubbish. Paula is out and is resting. She's OK, but exhausted.

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Strugglingmum (21-01-19)

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## Paula

Hi! Thank you so much for all your comments and SM, you made me cry  :O: . Im definitely exhausted and have slept most of the day asleep. Im still shaking like a leaf.

Anyway, its done. The assessor was actually ok - he wanted facts but didnt challenge anything I said. Si was awesome and took over every time I lost focus and couldnt answer. When the assessor said he was going to do a physical exam I was worried but all he did was ask me to show if I could do this, that or the other. He got told nope quite a lot lol. I was emotional, too, especially when he was asking about any suicidal or self harming thoughts. Its so hard having everything put to you in black and white.

Ive got no plans tomorrow, as I knew Id need the time to recover. Sorry, I havent got the energy to look through what youve all been up to today, so Ill talk to you all tomorrow

Thank you all for caring xx

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## Jaquaia

You need to look after you right now, go and rest  :Panda:

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## Allalone

Sending love and hugs.xx :Panda:

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## Suzi

Of course we care! 

Resting tomorrow and Wednesday at least please...

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## Strugglingmum

Lots and lots of rest and all the things you love over next few days. 
You seriously need a spoon replenishment. 
We think the world of you. 
*passes a shiny spoon to Paula.  :Panda:

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## Suzi

How are you love?

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## Paula

Im ok, just tired. Just chilling today  :O:

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## OldMike

:Panda:  :Panda:  :Panda:

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## Suzi

Glad you're chilling!

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## Allalone

:Panda:

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## Strugglingmum

Hope you are enjoying chilling.  :(bear):

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## Suzi

How you doing Sparkles?

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## Paula

So, wasn't as ok yesterday as I thought. I was so anxious and agitated I had to take a diazepam. My head was thumping, I felt sick etc ...... Sis working from home today to look after me. Ill be ok, I just need to be kind to me for a bit

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## Suzi

Glad Si's going to be at home with you lovely. Sorry you're feeling so rubbish. I know it takes Marc a couple of days to get rid of his "anxiety hangover".. Be kind lovely.

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## magie06

Please be kind to YOU! These things take a lot out of you and it takes me almost a week to rebuild my spoon supply. Keeping you in my prayers.

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## Paula

Today has mainly been fighting a very low mood, and its taking all Ive got just to not cry. Ive already decided not to go to work Friday, I think this is going to take s9me time ....

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## Angie

Sweetie firstly  :(bear):  secondly give yourself credit you went and you got through it and thirdly if you need to cry then cry it might be a good release of all the tension etc

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## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

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## Suzi

Do what you need to do. I'm glad you're not working on Friday, I think you need to really rest, rest, rest and recharge...

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Angie (23-01-19)

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## Allalone

Take care hun. Sending love and hugs.  :Panda:

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## Strugglingmum

You know me..... no wise words but always a ready hug. C :Panda:

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## Suzi

How're you doing Sparkley one?

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## Paula

Hi, I wouldnt say Im sparkly just yet but Im a bit nearer than I was. The one thing I didnt cancel this week was my manicure this morning and Im glad I didnt. Ive washed my hair and put make up on too  :O: . Rest and recharge is happening, suzi ......

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## Allalone

It’s good to hear you’re starting to glitter Paula. Take care.xx

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Paula (24-01-19)

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## Strugglingmum

Aw. Glad you are starting to pick up. baby steps. xx

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Paula (24-01-19)

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## Suzi

I'm really glad you are resting and recharging. It's so important..

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Paula (24-01-19)

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## magie06

Have you anything nice planned for tomorrow?

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## Paula

> Have you anything nice planned for tomorrow?


Not a thing  :O: . I cancelled my work shift - I am so unbelievably exhausted I couldnt even think about going and when I asked Katie to pick up my meds, I realised Im not up to dealing with people ......

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## magie06

Well then, hibernate until you feel better.

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Angie (24-01-19),Strugglingmum (25-01-19)

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## Suzi

Just rest love. Right now that's more than enough.

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Strugglingmum (25-01-19)

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## Paula

Today has been more positive, and Ive had more energy. Im recovering  :): . Im hoping tomorrow will be even better as Ive previously convinced Si to take me to a local ish antiques market on Sunday - I love rummaging through antiques and collectibles but cant get around most antique centres. I really want to go so am crossing everything Ill be up to it.

Polo had a rough start to the day. Si was in the shower and I was fast asleep. Apparently he was barking but Si finished his shower before going down - which is normally not a problem. When he got downstairs, he found Polo had an accident and then slipped in his wee. He couldnt get back up and was just sprawled then lying in his own wee .... poor baby  :(:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Awk Paula. I'm glad you are feeling a bit of glitter shining thru.  Still just take it easy and replenish those spoons.  Hope you get a good rummage on Sunday. :(giggle): 
Poor Polo. Katie sends him a slobbery lick.  :Panda:

----------

Paula (25-01-19)

----------


## Allalone

Poor Polo, I would say that Ted would give him a lick too but he would probably rather have a sniff of his bottom instead!! :(rofl): 
Make sure you rest up tomorrow so you get to do your rummaging on Sunday. :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Poor Polo! Hope he recovers....

----------


## Allalone

How are you today Paula?

----------


## Paula

Would have been better if I hadnt forgotten my meds this morning :/ but Im ok. Am going to do some more cross stitch this afternoon - the one plus to feeling rubbish this week is Ive done loads of it  :):

----------


## Angie

Poor Polo lots of fusses and hugs from me

Glad your starting to feel a bit brighter hunni take it steady

----------

Paula (26-01-19)

----------


## Suzi

You forgot your meds? Oh hunni! How did you manage that?

----------


## Paula

> You forgot your meds? Oh hunni! How did you manage that?


Ive got an alarm on my phone for 8am. I snoozed the alarm and by the time I got up, it slipped out of my head. I didnt take them til 2pm so Venlafaxine, Pregabalin and tapentadol withdrawal took its toll today - last thing I need lol

Tomorrow, were off to an antiques fair in fareham. Its 45mins away so I hope its not just a glorified car boot  :O:

----------


## Allalone

Enjoy the rummaging today!

----------


## Flo

Ooh!..lovely. I used to live in Gosport only 25 mins away...have a great time.xx

----------


## Suzi

> I’ve got an alarm on my phone for 8am. I snoozed the alarm and by the time I got up, it slipped out of my head. I didn’t take them til 2pm so Venlafaxine, Pregabalin and tapentadol withdrawal took its toll today - last thing I need lol
> 
> Tomorrow, we’re off to an antiques fair in fareham. It’s 45mins away so I hope it’s not just a glorified car boot


Woah.. That serious withdrawal..... Hope you're feeling brighter today lovely. Enjoy your day and don't forget to haggle!

----------


## Paula

Soooo, normally when I go antique-ing, I buy ornaments and sparkly stuff (obvs) and Si very rarely comes with me. Today, for whatever reason, I was drawn to the unusual and we both loved looking at old records/tapes, war memorabilia, cigarette cards, 007 playing cards and a 17th century map of the Isle of Wight. (Oh, and an 18ct gold, fire opal and diamond ring costing £1600. But we both fell in love with 2 incredible books.

The first is an original, period book produced for Queen Victorias Diamond Jubilee in 1897. Its got all sorts of details including the line of succession, her statesmen, her family, how transport had changed between 1837 and 1897, British victories on land and sea etc with the most glorious adverts and illustrations.  Its stunning! 
The second is Princess Marys Gift Book produced in 1914 (when she sent tins with chocolate to all men at the Front for Christmas) which featured stories, poems and illustrations from some of the literary greats at the time inc A A Milne and Rudyard Kipling - they were sold to raise money for the men fighting.

Honestly, Im so excited to have these pieces of history!

----------

OldMike (27-01-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

I'm so jealous!!!!

----------


## Paula

I knew youd appreciate them  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

They're brilliant!

----------


## Paula

I cant do justice for the colours in the Victoria book - theyre so vibrant, esp as theyre 120 years old!

----------


## Jaquaia

I'm currently eyeing up a 98 year old copy of Wuthering Heights on ebay...

----------


## Suzi

OH WOW!!!! Those are AMAZING!!

----------


## magie06

Omg! Those are just wonderful.

----------


## Paula

Ive just read the first short story (J M Barrie) in the Princess Mary Book, and the adverts (absolutely hysterical and mind blowing all at once) and introduction in the Victoria one. One of the adverts was for Epps Cocoa, or what they call cocoaine  :(giggle):  which apparently cures all ills. You couldnt make it up :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

I'm heard that! Maybe we should be trying it? Lol.. Joking obviously!

----------


## Paula

Im not as stable as I thought. I went to Housegroup tonight and, at the end, someone mentioned SH (dont ask why ....) and I crumpled. I hate this illness

Its not helping that, on Friday, my best friends sister was told that, even though it was only last month she was in remission from leukaemia, shes now relapsed. Shes in hospital having aggressive chemo (2 rounds of it) followed very quickly by stem cell treatment in the hopes shell stay in remission long enough to have the stem cell and that will keep her in remission.  But, theyve already told her that, if this doesnt work, they dont have anything else thatll treat her. Theyre all in bits ....

----------


## Strugglingmum

Oh Paula. I'm so sorry  :Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:  can you do something kind for you tomorrow lovely?

----------


## Mira

That was a rough hard day. I hope today will be kinder and better  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

Im meeting a friend for coffee. I say a friend, shes more than that - shes a mentor really, she was Katies childminder and is Jesss godmother. I always knows that, no matter how much Im struggling, she soothes my spirit itms

----------


## Suzi

Oh sweetheart I'm so sorry things are so rough for you..  :Panda:  Go, see your friend and let her help you through.. We're here too. You know that.

----------


## Flo

I hope you come home more relaxed and less troubled. Having a really special person around who showers you with positive vibes and a calming influence helps a lot. :Panda:

----------


## Paula

I know you are, Suzi  :):  

Ive had a lovely time with Janet. She has such a strong faith and always helps me see the way through any situation.

----------


## OldMike

Brilliant you've had a lovely time with Janet, friends like the are on e in a million.  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Feeling more settled?

----------


## Paula

Yeah.  I was a bit shaky when I was out so Im definitely not 100% recovered from last week, but I did people today so its all good  :):

----------


## Suzi

Proud of you x

----------

Paula (31-01-19)

----------


## Paula

Thank you  :): . I am aware Im not altogether ok (and snow doesnt help my anxiety) but Im trying

----------


## Suzi

That's all any of us can do!

----------


## OldMike

> Thank you . I am aware I’m not altogether ok (and snow doesn’t help my anxiety) but I’m trying


Snow and ice doesn't help any of us unless you're a kid when it's snowing and it's like "Wanna Build a Snowman" (breathe easy I'm not going to post _that_ video )

 :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

The snow has been falling all day and theres rumours our hospital is blocked in, with ambulances not being able to get through. Im getting more and more twitchy ...

----------


## Suzi

OK, realistically how likely is it you will need to get to hospital? 
Also I know that our 4 x 4 group have been mobilised all over Surrey, Hampshire and the surrounding areas. There will be plans in action hunnipie... And start wafting your snow to me! I have 0 snow...

----------


## Paula

Not at all realistic, I know, but its so bad here the council have set up a rest Centre in a town centre church for people who have had to abandon their cars...... I said earlier I feel trapped - Si asked whether Id planned on leaving the house anyway but its different not wanting to vs not being able to. I cant walk anywhere if needs be, unlike Si, Katie and Jess whove all been out today.

And snow just has such negative connotations for me. I know Im not making any sense at all but.......

And, Suzi, love, you can have it all *wafts with abandon*  :O:

----------


## Flo

I agree with you Paula...not wanting to and not being able to are two totally different things! And as for the rest centre...what's that all about?? Silly sods who think they're clever going on the roads in this weather? I'm sure the money could be better spent.

----------


## Suzi

I get it.... I don't venture out in the snow and ice either. I've fallen before and that was years ago and I'm so much less mobile now I know I'd be stuck on the ice for ages.. 
Massive hugs gorgeous  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

> I agree with you Paula...not wanting to and not being able to are two totally different things! And as for the rest centre...what's that all about?? Silly sods who think they're clever going on the roads in this weather? I'm sure the money could be better spent.


To be fair to them all, a few lorries jackknifed on the M3 between the 2 junctions where we live, causing major disruptions

----------

Flo (03-02-19)

----------


## Suzi

We were watching that! Whole of the M3 was shut! Bugger that for fun...

----------


## Angie

I saw that on the news yesturday please be careful hunni

----------


## Paula

> I saw that on the news yesturday please be careful hunni


Flippin eck we are famous if you heard about it oop north  :(giggle):

----------


## OldMike

Of course Princess Sparkles your fame spreads far and wide even as far as Manchester where we wear flat caps and drink flagons of ale  :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Paula

:(snooze):  Im so tired this morning. Katie went to a party last night and was getting a lift home with her friends dad which, with the roads still a nightmare, meant I couldnt even consider going to bed until she was home, safe.

----------


## Jaquaia

Resting today then?  :Panda:

----------


## Flo

> I’m so tired this morning. Katie went to a party last night and was getting a lift home with her friend’s dad which, with the roads still a nightmare, meant I couldn’t even consider going to bed until she was home, safe.


I know the feeling...I could never sleep until mine came home either. Nothing to stop you going for a long nap later to catch up with the lost sleep.

----------


## Suzi

I wouldn't have gone to bed either... Hope you are resting today...

----------


## Allalone

Hope you’re taking it easy today.

----------


## Paula

Yep, rest today. Im just about to start some cross stitch. Katies very hungover and is really annoying today - still, she got home safe so Im grateful  :O:

----------


## Allalone

I’m pleased you’re taking it easy. It’s good that Katie got home safe and sound but hungover kids are a pain in the bottom.

----------


## Suzi

What are you stitching atm? 
Poor Katie! Are you a sympathetic Mum?

----------


## Angie

> Flippin eck we are famous if you heard about it oop north


Lol was on my facebook feed via one of the news things think it was metro

----------


## Angie

See hangovers are self-inflicted so erm I don't do to much sympathy lol hope your resting

----------


## Allalone

I’m afraid I don’t do much sympathy either :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

> What are you stitching atm? 
> Poor Katie! Are you a sympathetic Mum?


Nope, not in the slightest! And shes gone out with friends tonight so she definitely wont have sympathy if she comes back wasted lol

----------


## Angie

:(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

No sympathy here either for hangovers..... and believe me, you throw up.... you clean it up right away whether you're dying or not...... might think twice before coming home in that state again.  I also enjoy turning the Hoover on really early outside your room :(angel):

----------


## Flo

Zoe doesn't drink a lot anymore. She was fed up with throwing up! Jay on the other hand doesn't drink at all now - except the odd cocktail at a party - he can't take it! His wife would find him naked in the bath surrounded by vomit! Yuk!..so pleased they're not living at home!

----------


## magie06

I was like that when I was younger. I tried to open my front door with my asthma inhaler one night. I spent another .ight in casualty with alcohol poisoning! Not nice, but I've learned my lesson. I don't drink at all now. I'm a bit of an all or nothing type person.

----------


## Allalone

I once tried to open the nextdoor neighbours front door at 3am, thankfully they were away on holiday but I made that much noise that I woke J (who’s like my mum) up!!

----------


## Suzi

> No sympathy here either for hangovers..... and believe me, you throw up.... you clean it up right away whether you're dying or not...... might think twice before coming home in that state again.  I also enjoy turning the Hoover on really early outside your room


Eww! Marc once went home to his Mum's steaming drunk. He got up the following afternoon to be greeted with "Your sheets are in the bath waiting for you to wash them..." Apparently she'd heard him being ill in the night helped him to change his bedding and left them all for him to deal with whilst also nursing a hangover! He didn't do that again!!!

----------


## OldMike

> Zoe doesn't drink a lot anymore. She was fed up with throwing up! Jay on the other hand doesn't drink at all now - except the odd cocktail at a party - he can't take it! His wife would find him naked in the bath surrounded by vomit! Yuk!..so pleased they're not living at home!


Eeek must say I've never found myself naked in a bath of sick in the 70+ years I've walked this earth though did have drunk so much at Christmas party it's a wonder I made it home without getting knocked down crossing a very busy road, I'd be in my 30's then, these days I'm TT.

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm loving the attractive slant your thread has taken Paula :(rofl): 
Lots of drink, drunk, vomit shenanigans! !!!   :(giggle): 


Kinda glad I'm TT

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

How are you Paula?

----------


## Paula

Ive got sciatica, and I know you can sympathise. Otherwise, its been a meh day but Ive been worse

----------


## Suzi

Hope the sciatica has left you... That's a gift that keeps on giving....

What have you got planned for today?

----------


## Paula

As my back, hip, bum and leg hurt, probably not a lot lol. Still, itll pass  :O:

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  Can you do something to be kind to you?

----------


## OldMike

When there are no words Mr Bear and Miss Panda say it all  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Ive just been on the phone to my best friend - shes sounding a lot more positive after the shock with her sister, which has cheered me up no end. I hadnt realised how worried I am about her

----------


## Paula

Trying very hard not to cry at the moment. Theres been issues with me getting a parking space for work so my boss has been collecting me from a further off parking space - except shes been told she cant as its afrcting her health. Weve had a chat this morning and neither of us can come up with an alternative so Ive been taken off the rota

----------


## Jaquaia

Oh lovely  :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm so sorry hunni.  :Panda: 
You do know this is not to do with your ability for the job? please remember that.x

----------


## OldMike

Oh luv  :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Thats so rough  :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni I'm so, so, so sorry! 

Surely there is a space you can have? It seems beyond ridiculous! Why is it affecting your friends health picking you up? 
I'm sorry lovely x

----------


## Paula

My friend has had 7 foot surgeries in 10 years and he most recent (1 year ago) just isnt healing properly. There is no space, theyre needed for patients. 

They had asked if I was able to do a shorter walk that involved two short flights of (staff) stairs, I wont tell you Sis response, itd only get bleeped anyway lol

----------


## Paula

Ive been struggling with this all day. When I was talking to my friend earlier, I was asked that, if the volunteer with MS managed to get in, why couldnt I. It was then suggested I could use a mobility scooter and when I said it couldnt lift it out of the car because of my hand, she told me I should get a hoist. I feel betrayed - which seems an overreaction but its how I feel right now

----------


## Allalone

Oh Paula. I’m so sorry to hear what’s happened. I’m not surprised you feel like that. Sending love and hugs.
 :Panda:

----------

Paula (07-02-19)

----------


## Paula

Ok, woke up this morning determined to stop being a moaning myrtle and feeling sorry for myself.

----------


## Suzi

> My friend has had 7 foot surgeries in 10 years and he most recent (1 year ago) just isn’t healing properly. There is no space, they’re needed for patients. 
> 
> They had asked if I was able to do a shorter walk that involved ‘two short flights of (staff) stairs’, I wont tell you Si’s response, it’d only get bleeped anyway lol


WTF? Seriously? Hell yeah, dance up those stairs! Go twinkle toes.... I don't see why you can't, after all it's not as if you are in horrific pain and having to use crutches as you can't use that leg etc..... Oh yeah, wait a minute..... 




> I’ve been struggling with this all day. When I was talking to my friend earlier, I was asked that, if the volunteer with MS managed to get in, why couldn’t I. It was then suggested I could use a mobility scooter and when I said it couldn’t lift it out of the car because of my hand, she told me I should get a hoist. I feel betrayed - which seems an overreaction but it’s how I feel right now


Your friend said this? I'd feel really hurt too... Maybe you could look into a hoist, but there are ways of saying it and not making it sound so accusing.... 




> Ok, woke up this morning determined to stop being a moaning myrtle and feeling sorry for myself.


You, my darling, are never a moaning myrtle...

----------

Paula (07-02-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

Not an overreaction at all. Google is a wonderful thin and a quick look would tell her a little about CRPS

----------


## Paula

I couldnt get a hoist now, anyway, as Ive only got about 7 months until the car goes back to Motability. Its something we do need to look at, but not yet, and certainly not for a voluntary job

----------


## Suzi

How are you feeling love?

----------


## Paula

Im ok. Backs sore so I cant do much but Jess has a dentist appointment later so I need to go out for that. My hand always struggles more when my back is bad - probably because Im putting weight differently on my crutches. My back does seem to be giving me gip more and more frequently so I might have to think about what to do (maybe see my osteopath more often, which is no hardship as hes lovely  :O: )

----------


## Suzi

Is it worth trying to get an appointment to see him soon? So he can give your back a good going over?

----------


## Paula

I may do, but as Im booking my dental appointment today, I think Si needs time to get over that first  :O:

----------


## Suzi

lol... He'll just have to cope.. Princesses don't come cheaply you know!

----------


## Paula

Hes had a double blow - Jess is having veneers. She has a congenital condition which damages the enamel in her teeth https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amelogenesis_imperfecta. A few years ago we were told shed need veneers but it wasnt possible to do them before 21. But things change and Jess has asked if she can have them now and the dentist agreed. She needs to get one tooth straightened first as it reduces the chance of the veneer on that tooth failing. Obviously, its not cheap but I think its affecting her confidence.

----------


## Suzi

My friends little one has that... 

Poor Si! His wallet must need CPR!

----------


## Allalone

Oh bless her. I think it would affect my daughters confidence.

----------


## Paula

> My friends little one has that... 
> 
> Poor Si! His wallet must need CPR!


Hes very grumpy tonight  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  How's Si today? How are you? Resting?

----------


## Paula

Sis resigned  :(giggle): 

Im ok, though climbing the walls lol. I thought about doing some cross stitch but dont want to undo the good Ive done for my back by taking it easy. So, that can wait til tomorrow. My oldest friend (by that I mean Ive known her for 35 years) is 50 this year so Ive been on the phone to her husband as he wants help organising her surprise (as the one person who knows her as well as I do - he can flannel when he needs to  :(rofl): . Ive said Id spend the weekend contemplating and speak to him next week - Pinterest here we come!

----------


## OldMike

It's good Si's wallet has had an airing those moths must be glad to see the light of day at long last  :(giggle): 

Jean told me a joke at lunch club thought I'd share as it tickled my fancy.

A guy goes in to a baker's he's crimping the edge of the pies with a pair of false of false teeth.
The guy says "haven't you got a tool for that?"
The baker replies "yes, but I use that for the donuts."

Where's me hat 'n' coat  :P:

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like a fun weekend plotting!

----------


## Paula

Ive just sent the results of my plotting to my friends husband. I dont think he realised he was unleashing the monster  :(giggle): 

Not feeling great today. For reasons I wont bore you with, my CD prescription wasnt done in time. So an urgent request went over to the GP Thursday afternoon and wasnt ready by Friday. So Ive had to ration my dose over the weekend (I normally have 2 twice a day so I took 2 in the morning and 1 in the evening) and havent had any this morning. The prescriptions ready at the GP but, because its a CD, they cant fax it over to the pharmacy so Im waiting for the van to come back from doing its rounds of surgeries.

----------

Suzi (11-02-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:  I know the faff my mum has with her CD tablets so you have my sympathy

----------

Paula (11-02-19)

----------


## Paula

Ah relief, the pharmacy got it ready early for me and its now kicked in .......  :): .

----------


## Suzi

What a pita! 

Hope you're resting now lovely...

----------


## Paula

Erm, does having a 3 hour manicure and pedicure session count?

----------


## Jaquaia

Sitting while you get pretty nails? I know it's tiring for you but I'd say so! A bit of pamper time is always good

----------


## Paula

The manicure is always great (and theyre so pretty  :): ) but I do really struggle with the pedicure. Its a necessary evil as ingrowing toenails is the #1 cause of amputation in people with CRPS. Still, they do also look so pretty  :(inlove):

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you're all glammed up!  :):

----------


## Paula

> I'm glad you're all glammed up!


Very, very glammed up  :):

----------


## Suzi

So pretty!

----------


## Paula

My mouth is really, really sore tonight. Bless him, Si cooked steak tonight and it didnt help ..... First part of treatment isnt happening until 13 March as my dentist only works Tuesday and Wednesday, the appt has to be at 9am to fit with my Pregabalin dose and I need Si with me (as Id be dosed up with diazepam)

----------


## OldMike

I just have to ask what is a CD prescription (I'm a numpty at times)  :(giggle): 

Edit: You really are a princess with nails like that  :):

----------


## Paula

> I just have to ask what is a CD prescription (I'm a numpty at times)


CD = controlled drugs eg opioids - as is the case with me  :O:

----------


## Angie

Controlled drug Mike and no your not a numpty

----------

OldMike (12-02-19)

----------


## OldMike

> CD = controlled drugs eg opioids - as is the case with me


Never thought of that  :):

----------


## Paula

Why would you?, I wouldnt have known that before I needed them  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

I only knew because my mum has been on them for years. Kind of disappointed they didn't try her with ketamine, so many jokes lost...

----------


## Paula

*shudders* I had a ketamine infusion as part of the putting CRPS into remission time of my life. It was hideous, I had a very, very bad trip  :=(:

----------


## Jaquaia

The doctors have really annoyed me. They stuck her on oxycodone and just kept upping the dose, she ended up on a palliative care dose because of them. She's done really well halving her dose in 3 months, 2 more decreases to go to get to where her pain management consultant wants her and he's hoping the injections will have more of an effect. Fingers crossed!!!

Apparently they're starting to look at ketamine infusions for treatment resistant depression! There's a woman on the fb group I admin that has been referred for it.

----------


## Suzi

> *shudders* I had a ketamine infusion as part of the putting CRPS into remission time of my life. It was hideous, I had a very, very bad trip


I remember that and the state you were in when you got back online....

----------


## Paula

Ive never understood, since then, how anyone would want to have that drug recreationally. I know an infusion is more intense but still .....

----------


## Strugglingmum

We used Ketamine quite a bit in palliative care. It's very good for nerve pain but yes patients would be quite sleepy and hallucinate a bit. However, if it was being used then the patient had hit the point with pain that dopey and tripping was preferable.m

----------


## Paula

Hallucinate a bit? Id been sedated beforehand and was still screaming in fear. I just didnt have a good experience, I know thats not everybodys experience, and was very grateful that that was the last treatment they would try on me. And Im usually really tolerant of medication  :O:

----------


## Suzi

> Hallucinate a bit? I’d been sedated beforehand and was still screaming in fear. I just didn’t have a good experience, I know that’s not everybody’s experience, and was very grateful that that was the last treatment they would try on me. And I’m usually really tolerant of medication


I react like that to tramadol.. Not as severely as you to the ketamine, but still bad enough that I woke the whole house up screaming and being able to see, touch, hear, taste, feel what I was dreaming.... And I couldn't wake up....

----------


## Paula

Yeah .....

----------


## Suzi

How are you today gorgeous, sparkly one?

----------


## Paula

Ive been emotional today, missing my Luna. Not helping myself with watching DIY SOS, mind you

----------


## Jaquaia

You cry easily anyway and are watching that???!!! No wonder you're emotional!!!!

----------


## Paula

:(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

DIY SOS has that effect on.... not me, no, never.....

----------

Paula (13-02-19)

----------


## Paula

Ive just had a long chat with Jess about Luna, about how sweet she was, how gentle, what it was like when we first met her, that sort of thing  :): . Im still emotional but it was a lovely talk

----------


## Suzi

We've been really missing Casey with Willow's arrival... I feel for you. Keep talking about her, Luna was very loved....

----------


## Paula

She really was

----------


## Paula

As if I wasnt emotional enough, Pasha is leaving Strictly #heartbroken

----------


## Suzi

Oh no!!!!

----------


## Paula

Look what arrived for me  :(inlove):

----------


## Jaquaia

They really are stunning  :(inlove):

----------


## Suzi

Wow! Those are amazing!

----------


## Paula

Arent they just  :):

----------


## Jarre

*huggs* Paula hope you have a peacefull evening x

----------


## Strugglingmum

Wow!!! Gorgeous. Enjoy.

----------


## OldMike

Woo hoo you lucky lady, have a lovely evening  :(bear):

----------


## Allalone

They look lovely. Enjoy you’re evening.x

----------


## Paula

Awwwww he came home with Prosecco  :(inlove):

----------


## Suzi

Nom! 
Hope you are having a lovely and relaxing evening..

----------


## Paula

It was, we watched such a romantic film .... A Quiet Place  :(rofl): 

Si actually made me blush earlier, which is very hard to do. We had a plumber out as our water pressure had dropped. Turns out part of the water softener had broken down and resin dissolved and clogged up all the filters in the taps/valves. Talking about the one to the dishwasher, dad said (theyd popped in) that probably a good blow would do it. Si then commented that your daughter would be good at that, Rog  :Surprised:   :(blush):

----------


## Jaquaia

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

:(blush):  :(rofl):  :(blush):  :(rofl): 
I was looking for an emoji to spontaneously combust with embarrassment! !! 
Classic. I would have been looking the ground to open up!!

----------


## Flo

:(rofl):  :(rofl): ....a woman with hidden talents eh?!!

----------


## Suzi

> Si actually made me blush earlier, which is very hard to do. We had a plumber out as our water pressure had dropped. Turns out part of the water softener had broken down and resin dissolved and clogged up all the filters in the taps/valves. Talking about the one to the dishwasher, dad said (theyd popped in) that probably a good blow would do it. Si then commented that your daughter would be good at that, Rog


OMG That's hysterical! 
I remember when I'd been at uni for a while and I'd had my hair cut from being so long I could sit on it to just above my shoulders and my Mum asked why it had been cut off whilst I was home and driving her into town... I gave her the standard answer I'd given my friends... "It kept getting caught in the handcuffs.." When she asked what I meant I just wanted the world to swallow me whole! 

How are you today Sparkles? Anything planned?

----------

OldMike (15-02-19)

----------


## OldMike

I was a bit slow at getting that  :(angel):   :(giggle): 

A plumbing joke to tickle your fancy:-

A dog goes into a Plumbers Merchants and says, Id like a job please. The owner says: We dont hire dogs, why dont you go join the circus? The dog replies, What would the circus want with a plumber?

----------

Paula (15-02-19),Strugglingmum (15-02-19)

----------


## Paula

> I was looking for an emoji to spontaneously combust with embarrassment! !! 
> Classic. I would have been looking the ground to open up!!


Ah well, SM, I blushed but Im not easily embarrassed so it wasnt such a big deal. My poor dad though, hes convinced himself Ive only had sex twice in my life - once for each child  :(rofl): 




> ....a woman with hidden talents eh?!!


Well, you know, I dont like to boast  :O: 




> OMG That's hysterical! 
> I remember when I'd been at uni for a while and I'd had my hair cut from being so long I could sit on it to just above my shoulders and my Mum asked why it had been cut off whilst I was home and driving her into town... I gave her the standard answer I'd given my friends... "It kept getting caught in the handcuffs.." When she asked what I meant I just wanted the world to swallow me whole! 
> 
> How are you today Sparkles? Anything planned?


 :(rofl): 
Today I have to try to find someone to fix my dishwasher. And id like to do some cross stitch, if my hand will take it

----------


## Mira

I have a plumber joke. It will be translated from dutch so if its no good i apologize.

Friday morning, a doctor wakes up and noticed his cellar is flooded. So he calls a plumber. When the plumber gets at the house he is invited in and has a look. He keeps looking for a while and then asks the doctor for 2 paracetamol. The doctor looks a but funny but goes and get the paracetamol for the plumber. The plumber throws then into the flooded cellar and picks up his bag.

If its not over after the weekend call back on a monday. 

And goes out the door.

----------

OldMike (15-02-19),Strugglingmum (15-02-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

:(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl): 

Hope your day is going well sparkles!

----------


## Paula

Dishwasher repair person is coming out next Thursday - so Ill be buying the kids some marigolds  :O: . I do appreciate this is such a first world problem  :O: 

Im good - the suns out and its warm, Im in a t shirt! Si also told me Jess has paid me a compliment, commenting tohim on how much weight Ive lost. Im not holding my breath that shell say it to my face so Ill take it as it stands lol

----------

OldMike (16-02-19),Strugglingmum (15-02-19)

----------


## magie06

That's wonderful that she's noticed though. Take it as a win!!

----------

Paula (15-02-19),Strugglingmum (15-02-19)

----------


## Suzi

It's fab that she's noticed!!! Definite win!

----------


## Paula

Oh ffs! I decided to have a clear out of the site that I use to upload my photos here - and of course now those photos cant be seen here anymore  :(blush): . Still, Im sure you all wont mind  :(rofl):

----------


## OldMike

Haha a case of throwing the baby out with the bath water, you'll just have to re-upload any relevant pics, I mostly link to photos I've uploaded to FB, I no longer use Photobucket (bags of ads and so slow and you gotta pay to link externally unless they changed that) but still very occasionally use imgBB.

----------


## Suzi

Oh no!!

----------


## Paula

Wow! Ive slept all afternoon, I obviously needed it  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

Feel better for it?

----------


## Paula

Yeah ta  :):

----------


## Suzi

Glad you're feeling better for it.

----------


## Paula

I am, however, going to talk to my GP about my pain meds. Ive been flaring everywhere for weeks now, struggling with my leg at night and my hand has been horrible for days.

----------


## Suzi

Why haven't you said anything?

----------


## Paula

Because I didnt realise how bad it was until I lay in bed saturday and the mattress was actually hurting me - I was blocking it out itms? Anyway, Ive got an appointment tomorrow morning

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you're going.... And yes I get it...

----------


## Paula

Of course, now Ive allowed myself to acknowledge it, it feels all consuming today ....

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

What time's your appointment?

----------


## Paula

9.30. Im so fortunate to be able to get an appointment so quickly. I know thats rare

----------


## magie06

I hope things go well for you.

----------


## Suzi

How did it go?

----------


## Paula

I got a shock actually. It was a locum so Id never met him before. I sat down and he asked how I was - then straight away said, stupid question, I can see youre in pain. Anyway, he looked through my notes and meds and decided that, as Im on such high doses of everything, I need to see the Pain Consultant for a review. He was lovely but, as he put it, Im resistant to medical treatments. Ive emailed my consultants Secretary ....

----------


## Jaquaia

*gentle hugs*

----------


## OldMike

Hope your pain consultant can come up with something to help alleviate your pain. I'll just leave these for you  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Paula

The practice manager got back to me and told me my consultant is now no longer able to take NHS patients through his private practice, so I need a GP referral to our NHS hospital. Which Ive asked for but have no idea how long it will take. However, Si reminded me that a while ago my consultant gave me his mobile number telling me to get in touch if I need anything. So, hesitantly as it feels like a cheek, Ive promised to text him tomorrow.

Edit:I had lunch with my best friend today and was talking about my hand. She suggested I think about underarm crutches. However, she, my husband and youngest all insist on being practical and logical about this - that I might find it easier even though theyre ugly as sin and dont even come in colours other than NHS grey ...... begrudgingly, I have conceded that it might help if I use them just around the house. So I have ordered some. And am now going to sulk for at least a week  :=(:

----------


## Jaquaia

Would forearm crutches be any good for you?

Also...

Duck Tape Glitter - Silver 47mm x 4.5m https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00GO4Y6..._HygBCbCTXW1MY

There is a way around everything  :O:

----------


## Paula

I tried forearm crutches when my hand first started. It was the most horrible sensation. I felt dizzy, car sick and like I was going to topple over. Si made me send them back lol

And yes, I know I can dress them up but they will always be the crutches Tiny Tim had  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):  I'm sorry but that made me laugh!!!

They even have the perfect tape for Suzi!  :O: 

Duck Tape Duck 221658 :Swear: Adhesive Tape 48 :Swear: mm Wide x 9.1 :Swear: Metres Length https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B018S1AT..._8RgBCb2GVFEW5

----------


## Suzi

OMG I love those!!!

Paula, they may not be the crutches you would have.... but if they are going to help then you are going to have to find a way of prettifying them....  glitter tape, diamontes etc are all at your disposal!

----------


## Paula

Geez, how can I argue with you lot when you insist on being reasonable?!?!

----------


## OldMike

As befits a Princess get a couple of rolls of Glitter Duck Tape - Rose Gold Sparkle https://www.amazon.co.uk/Glitter-Duc...qid=1550656162 and get blinging those crutches.

----------


## Flo

Ooh! you're going into Princess overload!! :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

With some diamante jewels for added embellishment?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rhinestone-...nte+gems&psc=1

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  theyd fall off as soon as I put them on!

----------


## Suzi

Have you not heard of superglue???? I don't think you're committed enough to this.. Careful, I'll pack my girls up, lots of gemstones, superglue and sequins and we'll come and bling your ride.......

----------


## Paula

Im not committed to this, its true. TINY TIM!!! But I have ordered some ......

*drum roll* I have seen the neurologist who is so pleased with progress, he wants me to halve my diuretic dose.  *REDUCING MEDICATION NEVER HAPPENS TO ME!!* he doesnt want to see me til the autumn!  :(party):  :(party):

----------


## Paula

I was supposed to go to Housegroup tonight but it was cancelled as everyones got the lurgy. While Im sympathetic, Id actually done the prep for tonights discussion, including listening to 2 sermons! Dammit!  :O:

----------


## Suzi

> I’m not committed to this, it’s true. TINY TIM!!! But I have ordered some ......
> 
> *drum roll* I have seen the neurologist who is so pleased with progress, he wants me to halve my diuretic dose.  *REDUCING MEDICATION NEVER HAPPENS TO ME!!* he doesn’t want to see me til the autumn!


That's awesome! Go you! 
Right Tiny Tim..... You are going to have to find a way past this. I do understand. Each time my mobility aid and grab handle need has got worse it's been a kick in the teeth, the only way I've dealt with it is to search for the positives - that it means I can do xyz better than without kind of thing... I know it sucks and I know it hurts, but you are Princess Sparkles. You've got this... 




> I was supposed to go to Housegroup tonight but it was cancelled as everyone’s got the lurgy. While I’m sympathetic, I’d actually done the prep for tonight’s discussion, including listening to 2 sermons! Dammit!


Bugger! If you hand't have done the prep work you know it would have been on!

----------


## Paula

Im shattered. I had the dishwasher repair engineer here trying to get it working again. The problem with the water softener clogged up the dishwasher. Its fixed now but we cant use it until all the gunk is out of all the plumbing - thats not going to be a fun job for Si at the weekend ......
Anyway, tomorrow mum is coming up to have a steroid injection in her foot. She has a benign tumour on a nerve (shes had it before) and theyre hoping an injection will help, otherwise itll be surgery. Im being taxi so Jess nd I going to meet her off the train and go out for lunch before taking her to the hospital. After shes done, Jess is going over to the IOW with mum to stay for a couple of days
My crutches have arrived. They are butt ugly.

----------


## Strugglingmum

But think how gorgeous they will be when they get the sparkle effect. X
Enjoy your day with your mum....even if it is hospital related. Lunch out is always good.  :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

I'm sorry you hate them... 

I'm glad you're going to spend some time with your mum today.

----------


## Jaquaia

I think that's a bit harsh on butts if I'm honest! I've seen some very attractive butts!!!

Glad you get time with your mum lovely

----------

OldMike (23-02-19)

----------


## Paula

Im peopled out! Ive been with Jess and mum all day, went into town to get underwear for Jess (its been at least a year since Ive been to town), had lunch, been at the hospital ....... Jess is now on her way over the pond  :O: 

Magie, I will do my best but these crutches are never going to be anything other than ugly

----------


## Suzi

I hope you are going to rest now? 

Hold on! I think I've found something awesome! I've found you coloured ones!! 
Look!!! In fuchsia pink! https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Fuchsia-P...uCxg:rk:3:pf:0

Blue, purple, black, red... https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_f...tches&_sacat=0

I know they are from the states, but hunni if it's going to make it even a little bit easier using them, then surely that's worth doing?

----------


## Paula

I love you, truly, truly love you!  :): . Im trialling them around the house atm so will let you know (my technique isnt great yet lol)

Im completely shattered this morning so will be resting as much as possible today

----------


## Suzi

Are you happier knowing that there are prettier ones out there? 

I'm glad you're going to rest...

----------


## Paula

Happier. Im not sure yet whether theyre working but am committing to trying hard lol

My Pain Consultant has got back and said hell see me immediately the doctors referral comes through  :):

----------


## OldMike

I should think underarm crutches should be helpful when you've mastered the technique and definitely get some coloured ones as befits a Princess  :):

----------


## Paula

Tbh, at the moment theyre making things worse as theyre pinching nerves so my whole arm is aching and tingling. But I persevere ....

----------


## OldMike

> Tbh, at the moment they’re making things worse as they’re pinching nerves so my whole arm is aching and tingling. But I persevere ....


Oh dear do they need more padding  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

> Oh dear do they need more padding


Theyve got it lol ....

----------


## Angie

I remember being a child and visiting my grandad and my uncle had broken his leg, he had under arm crutches and me and my cousin used to run off with them and use them as stilts

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  Princess... Reading between the lines you sound really down about it all.... Understandable, but are you keeping a check on your moods?

----------


## Paula

Im aware Im struggling. Im putting tiny Tim away for the rest of the day as thats not helping. Last Tuesday was the 19th and I realised that, up to then (when my bf coaxed me out), I hadnt left the house (apart from the necessary trip to the dentist) since 31 Jan. The problems with work and pain have made it very easy to hide away

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

So... what can we do to help?

----------


## Paula

Tbh right now Im just holding on to see the consultant

----------


## Suzi

OK, then we can help listen until you get that appointment. How quickly do you think it could be sorted? Not worth paying privately to be seen quicker?

----------


## Paula

My consultant texted me yesterday to say hell get an emergency appointment for me as soon as the referral comes through. Hes awesome  :O:

----------

OldMike (25-02-19)

----------


## Suzi

Good. I'm glad.

----------


## Paula

Ive had the most awful flare tonight - my hand was excruciating, bright red, burning and really swollen. I had nothing to resort to for relief as Id taken all my meds - Si ended up giving me a very large vodka and soda. It did numb it a bit, thank God, and I no longer feel like Im going to throw up :/ but its definitely not ideal .....

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:  really hope you get to see your consultant soon

----------


## Mira

Thats so bad. I do hope you will be able to sleep and that in the morning it will be feeling less painful  :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

It's not ideal, but at least it helped a bit..... Any idea how long the wait is to see the consultant?

----------


## Paula

> It's not ideal, but at least it helped a bit..... Any idea how long the wait is to see the consultant?


No, Im going to ring on Monday. I need to have options when this happens

----------


## Suzi

Yes you do...

----------


## Paula

Sorry Ive been quiet, todays been tough - everything hurts and Im wading through treacle :/

----------


## Jaquaia

So rest, rest and rest some more. You need to look after yourself lovely. Sending you gentle hugs  :Panda:

----------


## Angie

WSS^^

----------


## OldMike

> Sorry I’ve been quiet, todays been tough - everything hurts and I’m wading through treacle :/


Just look up some Rammstein on YouTube that'll make you feel better *runs and hides*

Serious hat on now just put one of your fav movies on and 'njoy  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Even while you feel this way you made me feel better today. I hope you had some great rest. You are awesome. Thanks for being here. Just being here is awesome enough  :(bear):

----------

Jaquaia (03-03-19),Paula (03-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

You resting? I hope you're going to call the Dr tomorrow love. Something has to happen.

----------


## Paula

> You resting? I hope you're going to call the Dr tomorrow love. Something has to happen.


Yes and yes  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Have you called them yet?

----------


## Paula

Couldnt get through so Ive emailed them

----------


## magie06

Good. I hope it's not long before they get back to you. Thinking of you and sending gentle hugs.

----------

Paula (04-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

Have you heard anything yet?

----------


## Paula

No, Ill chase tomorrow. I had to conserve spoons to take Nala to the vets. Shes ok, just struggling on her back legs

----------


## Paula

Im so irritable Ive actually gone to bed so I dont bite someones head off .....

----------


## Jaquaia

Pain? Low mood? Or people being knobs?

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni  :Panda:  I'm sorry I don't have anything more constructive to add...

----------


## Mira

:(bear): 

I hope that you slept well and today will be better.

----------


## Suzi

Morning, how are you today lovely?

----------


## Paula

> Pain? Low mood? Or people being knobs?


Lol pain really, although do t tell my family that, as far as theyre concerned its cause theyre being knobs  :O: 




> Morning, how are you today lovely?


Im ok, Ive just been so sore. And a fairly recent thing is the whole body pain where even sitting or laying down hurts every part of my body that touches the furniture itms

Weve got a parents evening for Jess later so today will mainly be conserving spoons

----------


## Mira

I hope that today you are able to feel a lot better. Be kind to yourself and that the soreness fades.

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## magie06

Sending more gentle hugs your way. (Mind the knee)!!!  :(rofl):

----------


## Suzi

Have you chased the Drs?

----------


## Paula

I spoke to someone in Winchester hospital (same Trust) who was going to chase up and get back to me

----------

Suzi (05-03-19)

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Paula

Back from Jesss college pre exams scare the crap out of parents with how much your child has to do evening. My personal highlight was when Jesss politics teacher asked if shed remembered his revision Panic lesson - where she fired back youre always panicking about something  :(giggle):

----------

Strugglingmum (05-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like it went well.......

----------


## Paula

Better than I expected

----------


## Suzi

Good!

Plans for the day?

----------


## Paula

No plans. I went to bed early with a thumping headache. Its better this morning but my mojo forgot to get up  :(:

----------


## Strugglingmum

my body is pumping and surging with adrenaline and anxiety.
wish i could send you my excess energy, might even things out a bit for us :Panda:

----------


## magie06

Paula, you need to be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend. What would you tell them? You give great advice here, please try to follow some of it yourself. Please???

----------

Paula (06-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

So... Are you reading? Stitching? Binge watching box sets? Chased that appointment?

----------


## Mira

I hope your mojo jumped into gear and that you are feeling better.

----------


## Paula

> So... Are you reading? Stitching? Binge watching box sets? Chased that appointment?


Reading, all day. Ive just sent another email as Im not up to a phone call today and could barely manage an email. Ive dived into low mood, ache all over and just want to cry. To add to it, Katie had a car accident - not her fault and she says shes ok but .......




> Paula, you need to be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend. What would you tell them? You give great advice here, please try to follow some of it yourself. Please???


Im trying. I told Si I was struggling and hes getting home soon, early, and have just crashed for the day

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Is Katie OK? As long as it's only the metal bit that's damaged that's ok, that can be replaced - it's the squishy bit in the middle that's important.. Can you tell Marc used to work doing crash repairs and restoration in classic cars?  :):

----------


## Paula

Katies fine. Tbh less stressed about it all than I was ........ the girl who reversed into her drivers door is 17, only passed her test in October, poor love. Still, no one was hurt so thats the main thing.

Im a little better than yesterday, atm, though Ive been awake since 5.30. Im meeting up with my ex MIL and SIL for coffee this afternoon. I toyed with cancelling but I havent seen them for a few months and really want to catch up. Itll probably do me good, thats what I keep telling myself

----------


## Flo

Hi Paula, what a shock for Katie! Even bigger shock for the girl who reversed into her! Still, as you say, no one hurt. Have a good time with your rellies. Lots to talk about I bet.x

----------


## Suzi

Make sure you rest as much as possible too please.... But have fun x

----------


## OldMike

Have fun out with your relations, I'm glad Katie is okay.  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

How you doing love? 
Any news on the appointment? 
How's Katie and the car?

----------


## Paula

No news on the appointment :/
Katies ok, the cars being fixed next week and shes getting a courtesy car
Im tired but had a lovely time - havent laughed that much in ages  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

So pleased to hear that. Rest now?

----------


## Angie

Glad that Katie is ok cars are replaceable, please pace and rest

----------


## Strugglingmum

Glad you had a nice time. :Panda: 
Sorry to hear about Katies accident. Sounds like a shock all round. Glad they are both ok.

----------


## Paula

Cant rest - Ive got to pack for my weekend away  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Hold on, what've I missed? Weekend away?

----------


## Paula

Yeap  :): . Church Womens Weekend. Im really looking forward to it

----------

OldMike (08-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

Oh have a brilliant time! Are you going on your own?

----------


## Paula

A friends driving me - Ill be fine  :O:

----------

Suzi (08-03-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

Have fun!!!

----------


## Mira

Sounds great. Have a good weekend.

----------


## Paula

Hallooooooooo, Im back! Had an amazing time  :): . Absolutely cream crackers now lol  :O:

----------


## OldMike

Hellllloooo back right at ya, glad you ha a super time, put your feet up and put something on the box  :):

----------

Paula (10-03-19)

----------


## Mira

Thats great. So glad you enjoyed it  :(nod):

----------


## Jaquaia

So pleased you had fun!!! Rest now please  :Panda:

----------


## magie06

Are you in bed yet? Get thee out of here and into thine chamber!!!

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  not quite!

----------


## Suzi

So glad you had a good time. Now rest!

----------


## Paula

Woke up this morning and my knee was swollen to about double normal size! So today is about feet up and do nothing lol. And processing everything Ive learnt this weekend. Revelation is tough to read with all the imagery and metaphors but Caroline (our curate) is an amazing teacher. Oh, and to make the weekend even better, one of the other women there loaned me her powered wheelchair for the weekend - it was wonderful to have so much independence and freedom  :):

----------


## Flo

Oh! definitely a feet up day. What a nice lady to lend you her wheelchair. But how did she get about if you had her chair?? :O:

----------


## Suzi

I'm glad you had such a good weekend lovely. So... are you getting a chair?

----------


## Paula

> I'm glad you had such a good weekend lovely. So... are you getting a chair?


Not at the moment - theyre horrendously expensive, even second hand ....




> Oh! definitely a feet up day. What a nice lady to lend you her wheelchair. But how did she get about if you had her chair??


In her car (van) she had the powered chair, a scooter, crutches and a walker. She was covered  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

What was she driving??? The TARDIS???

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  Was she The Doctor???

----------


## OldMike

> Not at the moment - they’re horrendously expensive, even second hand ....
> 
> In her car (van) she had the powered chair, a scooter, crutches and a walker. She was covered


She certainly was prepared, how about a mobility scooter on one of my many walks saw a scooter fixed to a special assembly on the back of a car, though I should imagine they're more expensive than wheelchairs, it was really nice that lady lent you a wheelchair.

----------


## Paula

Mike, I have a scooter, lovely, I just cant use it well with my poorly hand - the powered wheelchairs have joysticks, which is a lot easier for me  :O: 

Shes not the doctor, shes Wonder Woman! She has fibro, 4 sons that she runs around after, and manages to fit in loads of voluntary work with the church, and is a signer for the deaf! Shes pretty awesome and puts me to shame

----------


## Jaquaia

Nah. She's just awesome in a different way to you

----------

Suzi (11-03-19)

----------


## magie06

I don't think anyone could put you to shame!! You are awesome and remember, the sun isn't in competition with the moon. They both shine when their time is right!  :(inlove):

----------

Jaquaia (11-03-19),OldMike (11-03-19),Paula (11-03-19),Strugglingmum (12-03-19),Suzi (11-03-19)

----------


## Paula

Im super mum tonight! Katies boyfriend has had a huge bust up with his mum and shes thrown him out. Ive told them he can stay until its sorted..... its no hardship, hes such a lovely lad.

----------


## magie06

Believe me when I say that you are supermum every day.

----------

Paula (11-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

I agree with the others, definitely doesn't put you to shame! You are both awesome! 

It's good that you and Katie have that kind of relationship so she can ask you to have him.

----------


## Mira

English is only my third language. But so far I am still looking for one word to discribe how kind, awesome, caring and allround wonderful you are. It must be out there somewhere. Because that would discribe you.

----------

OldMike (12-03-19),Suzi (12-03-19)

----------


## Paula

:(blush):  Mira thank you  :):

----------


## Strugglingmum

> I don't think anyone could put you to shame!! You are awesome and remember, the sun isn't in competition with the moon. They both shine when their time is right!


I love this. Xx

----------


## Suzi

And me! 


How are you today Princess Sparkles?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, a little sore. My friends coming round later for coffee  :):  otherwise a quiet day

----------


## magie06

I'm glad that you are taking things easy. You've used up a lot of spoons at the weekend, you need to replace them at some stage. Enjoy your coffee.

----------


## OldMike

> I’m ok, a little sore. My friend’s coming round later for coffee  otherwise a quiet day


That should be fun, you can put the world to rights over a hot mug of coffee  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Hope you're having a lovely time with your friend!

----------


## Paula

> I'm glad that you are taking things easy. You've used up a lot of spoons at the weekend, you need to replace them at some stage. Enjoy your coffee.


I couldnt agree more - I slept most of yesterday but Im a bit more with it today and starting to process everything I learnt over the weekend. I think I forgot to say yesterday, Ive got an appointment with my Pain Consultant on 1 April  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

That's great news! Hopefully he can sort something for you

----------


## Suzi

Hooray! A date is awesome. I hope you've called to see if they have a cancellations list?

----------


## Paula

He only does clinics at that hospital on Mondays and is full for the next 2 weeks. However, I spoke to his secretary today and his note told her to fit me into his earliest available date so, yes, hes expecting them to put me on the cancellations list

----------


## Suzi

Good!

----------


## Paula

I do feel a little guilty as it feels like Im getting preferential treatment. I am aware that its not usual in todays nhs. But I need the help, so ........

Its part 1 of dental challenge today. I am not looking forward to it :/

----------


## Jaquaia

You have no need to feel guilty. I'm glad he got you in so quickly! I saw the rheumatology consultant within 2 and a half weeks of my doctor referring me. It turns out that I had one of the highest CRP levels in the full clinic so maybe that's why I was seen so quickly. Maybe you having CRPS is why he's made you a priority?

----------


## Flo

Good luck with it all love!

----------


## Suzi

Hope it's going ok hunni xx

----------


## Paula

> Maybe you having CRPS is why he's made you a priority?


Yes, definitely. But also, I think, because he promised me right at the beginning that aggressive, immediate and extensive treatments would put me into remission. Instead, it spread .... bless him, hes a sweetie and I know he felt bad about that, though it wasnt his fault. Just one of those things

The dental stuff went to plan, ish. The sawing through metal was harder than he expected and he had to drill to put a post in a tooth that he didnt expect to have to do. Ive got a temp bridge for now and itll take a couple of weeks for the perm one to be ready. Im very sore and my jaw hurts from having it open for 1.5 hours so Im just curled up on the sofa feeling sorry for myself.

----------


## Jaquaia

I couldn't even keep my mouth open long enough for the dentist to do a quick clean as my jaw hurt (there's a joke in there somewhere  :O: ) so you did much better than I did!!!

----------


## Paula

Ah, the joy of Valium  :O:

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  Rest lovely....

----------


## magie06

What an ordeal! Please be kind to yourself tomorrow too!

----------


## Mira

I know the feeling. They once did a lot of drilling and work on a thooth that broke. That was as long as your trip.

It was not the nicest thing at all. But the important thing is that you went and got through it. And i agree. Be extra nice to yourself as a treat  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

My jaw aches and its all very tender this morning so Im working very hard not to be silly and panic about CRPS - my Consultant said it was very, very unlikely that dental work would trigger CRPS symptoms. I trust him and I trust my dentist but ....... still, Im a bit more with it this morning after an early night. Ive promised Si Ill take it easy today  :): 

Si did make me giggle though. I told him not to look after the bridge was removed as I know theres 3 teeth missing, 2 crowns (so partial teeth) and 1 tooth with a metal post. Not pretty. But he did anyway - and cue lots of comments about scaring children, and throwing up a little in his mouth  :(giggle): . Cheeky sod!

----------


## Suzi

Lol! 
Hope you are actually going to take it easy hunni...

----------


## Flo

Oooh! tooth work....brave you!...I'm about the same as you regarding teeth left, crowns and replacements etc. definitely relax today. Years ago I had an op. on my gums which took ages. Afterwards for about a week or so, I looked and felt as if I'd been clouted with a fire extinguisher! So something nice and soft to eat Paula....suck an omelette to death, custard etc., and anything easy to suck! :O:

----------


## Paula

> Lol! 
> Hope you are actually going to take it easy hunni...


Actually, I am. Im absolutely exhausted and I need to conserve spoons to see the in laws on Sunday

----------


## magie06

Jelly and ice cream, mashed spuds and maybe if you are up to it a bit of toast for later.

----------


## Suzi

How's the spoon recuperation going?

----------


## OldMike

Have some nice nourishing soup, though Magie's suggestion of ice cream might go down well.

----------


## Paula

Bleugh, Mike, I hate soup 

Ive been cross stitching this afternoon. Unfortunately, my hand is now throbbing which is not a coincidence. Hey ho, it was worth it - my picture is nearly finished  :):

----------


## Suzi

Yeah! Have you been able to eat and drink at all?

----------


## Paula

Yeah, Im managing. Its a good job I survive on fruit and yoghurt anyway  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Lol... How are you doing today hunnipie?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, still dropping off every time I sit down for more than 2 minutes lol. Having my hair done later  :):

----------


## Paula

:(party):  Im off to see Captain Marvel later  :(party):

----------


## Suzi

I'm so jealous! NO spoilers!

----------


## Paula

Its fab! Thats all Im saying  :O:

----------

Suzi (15-03-19)

----------


## Paula

Oh, and Jude Law is pretty  :(inlove):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  How are you today?

----------


## Paula

Im good. Not in too much pain so far this morning, which is always helpful  :O: . Were going to the i laws tomorrow so am spoons preserving today (Im getting the hang of this pacing, right?) - Ill probably do some more cross stitch  :): . I still havent caught up with energy from last weekend and the cinema last night, though awesome, wiped me out

----------


## Jaquaia

Can you teach Suzi how to pace?  :(giggle):

----------


## OldMike

Was Captain Marvel marvelous? glad you enjoyed it and you seem to have got the hang of conserving spoons  :O:

----------


## Suzi

> I’m good. Not in too much pain so far this morning, which is always helpful . We’re going to the i laws tomorrow so am spoons preserving today (I’m getting the hang of this pacing, right?) - I’ll probably do some more cross stitch . I still haven’t caught up with energy from last weekend and the cinema last night, though awesome, wiped me out


Glad you are pacing. I'm really proud of you!



> Can you teach Suzi how to pace?


Oi cheeky!

----------


## Jaquaia

:(giggle):

----------


## Paula

Back from the in laws. We had a good time,Sis aunt and uncle were there and we havent seen them in a couple of years because shes been seriously, seriously ill with cancer (and had a good chunk of her spine removed and replaced with titanium rods) so was not allowed anywhere with more than a couple of people.  It was so lovely to see them. My FIL bought (or rather was forced to buy by MIL - he doesnt open his wallet lightly lol) a very old bottle of Armagnac at auction recently which cost £400 - so I had to have a glass. My word it was gaw-juss!

----------


## Jaquaia

Could have got a new bottle for less  :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

Heathen  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

I have no idea what it even is!!!

----------


## Mira

How lovely to seem them again. That must mean its going way better. Thats always so nice to hear. I bet it was great to have a glass of that  :):

----------


## Paula

> How lovely to seem them again. That must mean its going way better.


Shes treated as far as they can but not cured.  She had leukaemia as a teenager and shes been in remission ever since. Then gets to 60 to get a completely different (bone) cancer, everywhere. We have no idea of her future, but then none of us do I suppose. And yet she still mucks out her 3 horses every single day

----------


## Mira

So sorry, I guess I said the wrong thing.

----------


## Strugglingmum

> I have no idea what it even is!!!


Not my usual, What's on offer at Asda? Standard.
Get the posh folk! :(rofl): 
Seriously......is it wine?? Brandy? ???

----------


## Paula

> So sorry, I guess I said the wrong thing.


Not at all, it is going better, its just not going completely away. Shes really upbeat and positive about it also were taking our cue from her  :): 

Edit: SM its brandy  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

> Not my usual, What's on offer at Asda? Standard.
> Get the posh folk!
> Seriously......is it wine?? Brandy? ???


You know about as much as I do!  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

OOOO NOM! Sounds like a really lovely time! I hope you have an easy day planned for tomorrow.

----------


## Paula

Lol thats rich coming from you, Boss! But, yes, Im being sensible tomorrow  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Hope the resting is commencing...

----------

Paula (18-03-19)

----------


## Paula

I basically cross stitched all day (my hand is annoyed but I dont care!). Ive been a little tearful - watching Top Gear last night they had a black female greyhound on the show who was the spitting image of my Luna, its upset my equilibrium a bit  :=(: 

And yesterday we found out our niece has split up with her husband of not quite 4 years....

Still, tomorrow Im having my nails done (and I must chase up DWP re my ESA assessment)

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):  :(bear):  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

I spent ages on the phone to JobCentre plus this morning as my face to face assessment for ESA was 21 Jan and I hadnt heard anything. Turns out theyd made a decision on *5 Feb*! He told me they should have tried to phone 3 times then send out a letter but, when he got through to the notes, turns out no one had tried to contact me ..... anyway, the decision is Im still entitled and in the support group. I did ask for a copy of the report, he tried to put me through to the health assessment people but I couldnt get through. Im too tired to have another conversation about my health so Ill ring tomorrow.

----------


## Suzi

That's terrible that they didn't let you know, but awesome that you're still entitled! Go you!

----------


## magie06

Thank goodness you are still eligible. Boo! for bad follow up. Typical of red tape though.

----------


## Jaquaia

That must be a weight of your shoulders  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Oh yes! Its behind me for a while now  :): 


Edit: my father just posted this on Facebook 

They drop them out of a castle window to check the  leads dont break!

I have absolutely no idea .........  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

OH. MY. GOD! I commented to Si earlier that Im bored and when he came back from walking the dog he said hed been thinking and maybe I should try buying and selling the odd antique/collectible as I obviously love that whole world. I was so flabbergasted I actually couldnt even answer him  :(giggle):

----------


## Jaquaia

Is that a first?  :O:

----------


## Paula

He was confused, bless him, hes never known me silent  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

:(giggle):

----------


## OldMike

> He was confused, bless him, he’s never known me silent


Definitely must be a first  :(giggle): 

*cough* Musicals at the movies quiz *cough*

Strange suddenly I've got the urge to do a quiz  :O: 

What ever you do Paula try to make it a good one and don't put everything in the house up for sale on Ebay  :(giggle):

----------

Paula (20-03-19)

----------


## Flo

If you love antiques and collectables come and see me. Ian's cave is full of them!......I suppose you could include Ian amongst that lot!

----------

OldMike (20-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

I think that's a great idea!

----------

Paula (20-03-19)

----------


## Paula

> If you love antiques and collectables come and see me. Ian's cave is full of them!......I suppose you could include Ian amongst that lot!


How long to get from Hampshire to you??????  :(giggle):

----------


## Flo

> How long to get from Hampshire to you??????


Ho Ho!!...his cave is also full of cobwebs and spiders!!...still wanna come?? I collect glass ink wells with silver or brass tops!.....I love fountain pens too and have about 30 so far. Love writing proper letters with real pens and real ink.....what do you collect?

----------


## Paula

Im fine with sp*ders  :O: 

I love glass, perfume bottles, anything sewing related (esp needle cases).....  I have the most gorgeous clear and cranberry glass, Victorian Bon Bon dishes that my parents bought me years ago. They are truly exquisite. Si would tell you I collect platinum jewellery  :O:

----------


## OldMike

> I’m fine with sp*ders 
> 
> I love glass, perfume bottles, anything sewing related (esp needle cases).....  I have the most gorgeous clear and cranberry glass, Victorian Bon Bon dishes that my parents bought me years ago. They are truly exquisite. Si would tell you I collect platinum jewellery


Collecting platinum jewellery, I'd expect nothing less from our very own Princess  :O:

----------

Paula (20-03-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

To be fair, that's only because you react to other precious metals, so it's more necessity  :O:

----------


## Paula

Thank you Jaq. Could you please find a way of reminding my husband of that?  :(giggle):

----------


## Flo

Ooh yes, perfume bottles...love them too! Mum had lovely cranberry glass too. You've ignited a flame Paula!...time to look in the antique shops....s'all your fault!! :P:

----------


## Paula

:(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

I love fountain pens! I love paperweights and lots of things!  :):

----------


## OldMike

> Ooh yes, perfume bottles...love them too! Mum had lovely cranberry glass too. You've ignited a flame Paula!...time to look in the antique shops....s'all your fault!!


If Ian can keep buying vinyl then Flo you're entitled to have your perfume bottles  :O: 




> I love fountain pens! I love paperweights and lots of things!


That reminded me of George at luncheon club today he'd done a poem written using the calligraphy arts, it was about a globe of the world though expressed as though the globe was the body of a woman and the place where we resided on this womanly globe was firmly between the buttocks. FYI rarely a week goes by without George bringing buttocks in to the conversation, as you can tell Custard Club has the most refined type of chit chat  :(giggle): 

Hope you've had a good evening Paula  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  

Today, Im doing lunch for my friend. Its her birthday next week but its going to be muted with her family with her sisters stem celll transplant process starting on Monday, so I thought Id give her a few hours just for her itms. I say doing as we all know I dont cook, bake etc so Mr Sainsbury is doing the honours  :O: . Theres even cupcakes with candles

----------


## Suzi

OO enjoy lunch! Sounds like a lovely plan!

----------


## Flo

Can I come??...slurp! :Hedgehog:

----------


## Paula

Afternoon! I think my friend had a good time. She said its the first time in years shes had a candle to blow out on cake  :O: . And she loved her pressies so all good

Currently watching Supervet - and seeing a Pug puppy telling off a Great Dane has to be the highlight of my tv viewing this week  :):

----------


## Suzi

That sounds so fabulous!

----------


## Mira

Thats great.

The one thing that gave me a chuckle was supervet. Thats dutch for superfat. So I had to read that sentence 2 times haha.

----------


## Paula

:(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl):  :(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Love Supervet!! 
I actually think Noel is rather handsome. I'm not sure if its his accent or his passion for animals which is his charm but he is rather fishy in a dishevled way :(blush):

----------


## Paula

Oh I totally agree. His clinic is just up the road from me  :O:

----------


## magie06

It's probably the Irish accent. The best in the world!!  :(rofl):

----------

Paula (22-03-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

^^^^^^^ just realised I called him fishy!!! I meant dishy!! Damn autocorrect :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

:(giggle):

----------


## Jaquaia

> ^^^^^^^ just realised I called him fishy!!! I meant dishy!! Damn autocorrect


I'm sorry. I saw that and kept going back to read it as it was making me giggle so I didn't say anything...  :(giggle):

----------


## Strugglingmum

:P:  glad to give you a giggle!! The thought of poor Noel being called fishy!  :(rofl):

----------

Jaquaia (22-03-19)

----------


## OldMike

> ^^^^^^^ just realised I called him fishy!!! I meant dishy!! Damn autocorrect


Made me smile too, perhaps he's a fishy dishy  :(giggle):

----------


## Jaquaia

Noel in a suit  :O: 

Check out @ProfNoelFitz’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/ProfNoelFitz/sta...988544006?s=09

----------

Paula (22-03-19),Strugglingmum (25-03-19)

----------


## Paula

Thats two dishy professors Im crush8ng on  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

Brian Cox by any chance???


More Noel in a suit  :O: 

Check out @OpenUniversitys Tweet: https://twitter.com/OpenUniversity/s...355236354?s=09

----------


## Paula

Oooooh yes  :(inlove):

----------


## Jaquaia

I have a bit of a thing for Iain Stewart too

----------


## Flo

Ewan McGregor!

----------


## Suzi

How are you Paula?

----------


## Paula

Hi all! Sorry for the radio silence  :O: . Si and I went antiqueing to start my stock. I came home with a Bristol blue glass dish, 2 green bubble glass bowls, 2 pill boxes and a trinket box. I had a wonderful time!

----------

OldMike (23-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

Wow! Are you selling on a website? Facebook? I'd love to see what you've bought!

----------


## Paula

Im going to list on eBay and set up a fb page. I told Si not to expect profits lol but he just said he saw it more as a hobby for me. Ill upload some pics later  :):

----------


## Paula

The blue one may not leave me  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

The glass is beautiful!!!

----------


## Paula

I love glass  :):

----------


## Suzi

Those are beautiful - That green bubble glass is so beautiful and probably my favourite from what you've bought!

----------


## Paula

Me too - I just kept stroking it. Its so tactile  :):

----------


## Paula

Ive spent 2 hours trying to come up with a name for my Facebook page. Unsuccefully. I think Im going with something around Lunas name (or her kennel club name, Makalulu). Any ideas gladly received  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Nothing to do with sparkles? Like Makalulu

----------


## Paula

I toyed around sparkles for hours but was worried it would be too specific. Favourite atm is Makalulus Treasures (I was uptil 1am trying to think of something I like)  :O:

----------


## Suzi

OO I like that!

----------


## Paula

Or Makalulus Gems?

----------


## Suzi

To me gems implies gemstones, I prefer treasures... But as my husband is a retired pirate (insider joke) I'm always more  drawn to treasure chests!

----------

Paula (24-03-19)

----------


## Mira

Wrong thing

----------


## Flo

Morning Paula! who the hell is Makalulu???

----------


## Paula

Its the kennel club name of my Luna

----------


## OldMike

> To me gems implies gemstones, I prefer treasures... But as my husband is a retired pirate (insider joke) I'm always more  drawn to treasure chests!


On "Speak like a pirate day" last year I changed my Facebook setting to "Pirate Mode" and it has remained like that ever since so on FB you're referred to as Capt'n Suzi so Marc must be your First Mate  :(giggle): 

@Paula: Makalulu and you changed her name to Luna, I'm just wondering what Polo's kennel name is, probably "Prince Diamond the Jewel of the Orient"  :O: 

Edit: For your FB page I came up with "Luna's knick knacks"

----------

Suzi (25-03-19)

----------


## Paula

Lol Polos kc name is Iverpolo

----------

OldMike (25-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

Have you decided on a name yet?

----------


## OldMike

> Have you decided on a name yet?


Paula has already decided it's "Makalulu’s Treasures", how do I know, well I've been invited to her FB page  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

I'm in love with some of her pieces! The scent bottle is so beautiful!!  :(inlove):

----------


## Mira

Its a shame I am not on fb, I love to browse.

----------


## Paula

> Have you decided on a name yet?


I went with Makalulus Treasures  :): 




> Paula has already decided it's "Makalulus Treasures", how do I know, well I've been invited to her FB page


You were the first to reply, Mike! (Other than Si)




> I'm in love with some of her pieces! The scent bottle is so beautiful!!


That scent bottle will be very hard to part with but its just stuck in a drawer.....




> Its a shame I am not on fb, I love to browse.


I was going to go on ebay but its so expensive to sell


Ive spent much of the day taking about 10 times too long to get everything set up to post items to Makalulus Treasures. Not  because it took so long but because (and I know its stupid) I was afraid no one would like my Treasures .....

----------


## Jaquaia

I love everything you've posted so far!!!! You have wonderful taste but then we already knew that  :O:

----------

Paula (25-03-19)

----------


## Mira

Are you also into tea cups and things like that? I am always looking into those kind of things. I was in a antiqueshop once in the UK and I wanted to buy everything.

----------


## Paula

I appreciate the beauty in tea cups and my hubby and I were admiring some especially gorgeous ones at the weekend but I have absolutely no idea whats good and whats not in that area.


On a completely different note, my ESA medical report came through today. It says that Im unlikely to improve within 2 years - does that mean I wont have to be reassessed til 2 years time?

----------


## Jaquaia

I would assume so...

----------

Paula (25-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

Ahhh, no it doesn't mean that is guaranteed for 2 years. They will start sending out the paperwork up to 1 year early and any decision made stands and wipes out a previous one... Marc got caught out with that one... 

I love your pieces!

----------

Paula (25-03-19)

----------


## Paula

So, yesterday was an exciting day in my new venture. Makalulus Treasures sold its first items and my Facebook page has managed to reach almost 200 in less than 48 hours of existence!

Katies off to Amsterdam tonight with her boyfriend so cue me trying very hard not to fret for the next 4 days......

----------


## Suzi

I'm not surprised that Makalulu's Treasures is doing so well so fast, you have impeccable taste!

I am sure that Katie and her bf will be OK and have a great time. 
I hope today is full of rest, pacing and loveliness!

----------


## Paula

Yes, yes and, well, yes  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Awesome!  :):

----------


## OldMike

I'm sure Katie will have a great time.

Woo Hoo Makalulu's Treasures has made its first sale  :(party):

----------

Paula (27-03-19)

----------


## Flo

I'm sure Katie will have a great time! Stop fretting mummy!! She's with her bloke..he'll look after her. You just relax and wait and see what prezzy they're going to get you while they're there :8):

----------


## Mira

Amsterdam is a safe place. I have been there a few times and its an ok place.

How awesome that you made a sale already. So cool. Congratulations.

----------

Paula (27-03-19)

----------


## Paula

> I'm sure Katie will have a great time! Stop fretting mummy!! She's with her bloke..he'll look after her. You just relax and wait and see what prezzy they're going to get you while they're there


Are you telling me you dont fret???

----------


## EJ

Just looked as Makalulu’s treasures. It is awesome x

----------


## Paula

Thanks EJ  :):

----------


## Paula

I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. Polo kept me up til 1am.....

----------


## Jaquaia

How come? Can you rest lovely? Maybe have a nap?

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! Is Polo OK? 
Hope you get some rest today....

----------


## Paula

Polos fine, he just wanted to play and wouldnt settle. As Katie and her boyfriend had to get up at 4am to drive to Stansted, I couldnt leave him to bark and whine. 

I was trying to do some cross stitch but I just kept falling asleep with a needle in my hand  :O:

----------


## Suzi

AS long as it stayed in your hand and you didn't drop it!  :):  

Hope you've rested lovely.

----------


## Paula

I was in bed before 10 and slept til 7. Im still tired but Ive no plans today - Ill just play it by ear

----------


## Suzi

Good!

----------


## Mira

:Panda:

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing lovely lady?

----------


## Paula

Still weary but not as bad as yesterday. Ive tasked Si with bringing some dark chocolate home for me.

So, update on my dental work. One of my teeth came out. At first I thought it was part of the temporary bridge but now Ive looked closer, I can see what I think is the root of a real tooth still in my gum. I think it was the tooth he had to drill into ..... So Im gummy and sore and could cry

----------


## Mira

:Panda:  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Awww  :Panda:  love..

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

How are you feeling today?

----------


## Paula

Fed up.

----------


## Jaquaia

Same reason as yesterday?  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Yeah, my gums sore and keeps bleeding, my jaw aches and Ive got a gap in my teeth. if Im right and the root is still embedded in my gum, its not going to be fun dealing with it.

I know, Im having a pity party - itll get sorted

----------


## Jaquaia

You're allowed to be fed up about it.  :Panda:

----------

Paula (30-03-19)

----------


## Suzi

I understand. My teeth are terrible. It all went to shi( when I was taking high dose meds.. 
Huge hugs  :(bear):  :(bear):  :(bear):

----------


## Paula

I damaged half of my lower teeth biting on a fork when I was 16. I know, only me.....

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):  You narna!

----------

Paula (30-03-19)

----------


## Paula

So, tapentadol is out and morphine is in...... he also told us the spinal cord stimulation is now definitely out, even if I changed my mind about it, because of my IIH. Hes going to refer me to the Bath Centre for pain services to have a Residential assessment (I believe its usually a months visit).

Dentists is at 3pm, my dentist doesnt work Mondays but hes coming in specially, bless him  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

You're so rock and roll today!  :(giggle): 

A months visit? As in staying there a month???

----------


## Suzi

How do you feel about the residential? The meds change? 

Hope the dentist is OK too love...

----------


## Mira

I have had a few real nice times at the dentist. I hope yours will be ok.

----------


## Paula

> I have had a few real nice times at the dentist. I hope yours will be ok.


Thank you




> How do you feel about the residential? The meds change? 
> 
> Hope the dentist is OK too love...


The residential will be 2 weeks but Ill probably have a couple of outpatients appointments first to see if Im suitable. How do I feel about that? Nervous but thats the last thing I have to try so Ill dowhat I need to.

The morphine? Ok surprisingly. It is what it is




> You're so rock and roll today! 
> 
> A months visit? As in staying there a month???


Apparently its only 2 weeks but Ill find out more I suppose. And, yes, staying there. Thats not going to be easy .....


Ok, the dentist. Thankfully the tooth I lost was part of the temporary bridge and the permanent bridge was ready so was fitted. I wasnt great and needed 10mg diazepam but was still a nervous wreck. But thats not the end of it. The reason, they found out, the first bridge failed is because the tooth next to it, which it was anchored to with a post, has cracked and was twisting. They sorted the bridge out so its not attached to that tooth but Ill need to go back in a few months to try to work out what to do. Eventually, the tooth will also need to come out ......

Off for a blood test this morning

----------


## Suzi

Blimey that's a couple of tough days.. I hope you're resting when you get back from the blood test?

----------


## Mira

Yes indeed. Have a rest. Anything else planned just for you to have some fun?

----------


## Paula

I lay down for a nap at 11.30 and woke up 4 hours later. Im still drowsy but its to be expected with a change in opioids

----------


## Suzi

How's the changeover going?

----------


## Paula

Im very, very drowsy but to be expected. Otherwise, no withdrawal - it was a straight swap so easy to do from that perspective. I had a blood test this morning, mind, and my veins were very shy, which probably had something to do with new meds

----------


## Mira

How long will you feel this way? Or is there no telling when that might be?

----------


## Paula

Not long I hope. Itll pass  :):

----------


## Suzi

It will... You're awesome you know...

----------


## Mira

I hope that too. I am thumbing for you.



This is the Dutch way of wishing someone good luck and fortune.

----------

Paula (02-04-19)

----------


## Paula

All of a sudden the worst of the drowsiness has gone, hope it lasts  :):

----------


## Suzi

Hooray for no drowsiness! How's the pain?

----------


## Paula

Drowsiness is back lol. But Ill adjust. The pain is definitely less so its worth the period of adjustment

----------


## Suzi

Glad the pain is less love. That's the important thing hunni...

----------


## Paula

Absolutely

----------


## OldMike

*pokes Paula with a very, very long metaphorical pointy stick and says "Fancy doing the latest quiz"*

Who said that, not me  :(angel):   :(giggle): 

You may be a bit more sleepy but if it eases your pain then that can only be a good thing  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Mira

The quiz anwsers are sure to be more funny this way  :): 
I do hope you will soon feel better. This sucks.

----------


## Flo

How are you feeling today Princess Sparkles?....maybe when you get used to the new meds the drowsiness will disappear. :(bear):

----------


## Paula

I feel awful. I went to bed at 8.30 last night and only woke up at 8am because my alarm went off. Ive woken up with a thumping headache and nausea. I know itll pass as I get used to the morphine so Im trying not to stress too much

----------


## Mira

I hope it will pass soon. Like you say it is something that will pass. But still its no good to have to go through it  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Can you rest? You know as well as I do that right now you are being hit double whammy with the stopping of the tapentadol and the introduction of morphine... All you can do right now is just ride with it and be kind to you... Are you eating and drinking ok?

----------


## Jaquaia

Hope it eases soon lovely.  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

I slept all afternoon, was woken up for dinner and was wheezing badly. Im struggling to stay awake but my inhaler has helped ish. Si is insisting I dont take morphine tomorrow morning and ring my consultant as hes really worried.

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:  hope they can come up with a solution

----------


## Suzi

Is it oramorph you are on? If Si is worried then you should listen to him. He knows you and would do anything for you...

----------


## Paula

No, its zomorph - the slow release version (usually used for cancer patients apparently). Si is really worried, bless him

----------


## Paula

We came to a compromise the pharmacist suggested before I started taking them yesterday - Im taking a half dose (which 
 is actually the dose suggested on the PIL - then call the consultant. Im less drowsy but more twitchy so will see how I go

----------


## Suzi

You will call the consultant today though?

----------

Paula (05-04-19)

----------


## Paula

Halving the dose has helped the doziness although I am twitching. But weve decided not to call the consultant (I can text over the weekend if I need to). Ill be ok

It has helped with the pain  :):

----------


## Jaquaia

Glad it's helped and hopefully the twitching is just a side effect that will pass  :Panda:

----------

Paula (05-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

So glad that the pain is lower and the drowsiness is too... Hopefully the twitching will ease too.... Although I have to ask as I have a sick sense of humour - is it amusing for those around you watching you twitch?

----------


## OldMike

> .... Although I have to ask as I have a sick sense of humour - is it amusing for those around you watching you twitch?


Bad Suzi  :(rofl): 

Paula hopefully it is a short lived side effect  :Panda:

----------

Paula (05-04-19)

----------


## Paula

> So glad that the pain is lower and the drowsiness is too... Hopefully the twitching will ease too.... Although I have to ask as I have a sick sense of humour - is it amusing for those around you watching you twitch?


Not when hot coffee is in my hand  :O:

----------


## Suzi

So not funny then? Cup with a lid? (no joking apart, they are my favourite cups!)

----------


## Paula

Im a bit weird, I cant drink from plastic cups.- only glass or ceramics, the texture puts me off.

Im twitching still, and am aching so I have no idea what to do. But were hoping to get through the weekend then sorting things out (were booked to have our belated mothers day dinner tomorrow)

Mum and dad are coming over tonight for dinner

----------


## Jaquaia

Hope it eases. Have fun tonight!  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Can you contact your consultant? When you were on the higher dose were you twitching?

----------


## OldMike

> I’m a bit weird, I can’t drink from plastic cups.- only glass or ceramics, the texture puts me off.
> 
> I’m twitching still, and am aching so I have no idea what to do. But we’re hoping to get through the weekend then sorting things out (we’re booked to have our belated mother’s day dinner tomorrow)
> 
> Mum and dad are coming over tonight for dinner


As a princess surely you should drink from gold or platinum cups  :O:  must admit I'm not one for plastic or paper cups give me glass or ceramic anytime.

----------


## Suzi

Plastic cups don't tend to smash when I drop them - which happens a lot..... I'll bring my own when I come down to see you!  :):

----------


## Paula

> Can you contact your consultant? When you were on the higher dose were you twitching?


No I wasnt, which is weird. Sorry Ive been awol but exhaustion has taken over big time. But, its eased a bit. Still twitching but less so. Ill call my GP tomorrow, I know Ill get to them within half an hour. Im thinking it was too much too soon - Sis not so sure, I think its been worse for him - katie said Friday I was like I was when I had my massive kidney infection and hallucinating a few years ago

Anyway, Im off to my Mothers Day lunch in a bit. I may be sleeping afterwards  :O:

----------


## OldMike

> No I wasn’t, which is weird. Sorry I’ve been awol but exhaustion has taken over big time. But, it’s eased a bit. Still twitching but less so. I’ll call my GP tomorrow, I know I’ll get to them within half an hour. I’m thinking it was too much too soon - Si’s not so sure, I think it’s been worse for him - katie said Friday I was like I was when I had my massive kidney infection and hallucinating a few years ago
> 
> Anyway, I’m off to my Mother’s Day lunch in a bit. I may be sleeping afterwards


As long as you don't fall asleep in the middle of lunch  :O:  have a good long sleep afterwards, the change in meds seems to have knocked you sideways, twitching is less so looks like you're getting over the side effects.  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Have a lovely mothers day hunnipie. Rest as much as you can too please.

----------


## Paula

I came home and slept for an hour and am planning on doing next to nothing for the of the day  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

Good! Hope you had a lovely day  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

It was, thanks

----------

OldMike (07-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

I'm really pleased for you!

----------


## Paula

I spoke to my GP this morning. He agreed wed done the right thing halving my dose and basically keep going on that dose to let my body settle and get the tapentadol out of my system. It may be that the half dose will be whats right long term for me but, for now, to take it bit by bit. Im still drowsy but not as bad as I was and still twitching but not so much.

----------


## Jaquaia

Glad it's easing lovely

----------


## magie06

I'm so glad that your mind has been put to rest. I've been thinking of you a lot over the weekend and wondering how you are doing. 
Just in case no one has told you lately, you are amazing and you are such an inspiration to me.

----------

OldMike (08-04-19),Paula (08-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

Glad it's easing even a little love. You're a true warrior.

----------

OldMike (08-04-19)

----------


## Mira

I have to agree with everyone here. It sounded like it was rough. So I am so glad its going in the right direction now. And you are a strong woman for dealing with it in the way that you do. The Paula way! Its awesome.

----------

OldMike (08-04-19)

----------


## OldMike

Looks like things are heading in the right direction Paula  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

It has been rough, Ill admit, and its not over yet. My neck and shoulders are sooo sore right now, which isnt helping. Apparently tapentadol withdrawal includes joint pain ....... still, Ill get there, Ive just got to keep listening to my body  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

Can you teach Suzi how to while you're at it?  :O:  :(giggle):

----------


## Paula

Im still very much a learner so in no fit state to teach anyone  :O:

----------


## Suzi

> Can you teach Suzi how to while you're at it?


Cheeky bugger! 

Hope that it's easing even a tiny bit each day. I hope the plans for the next few days are to rest....

----------


## Jaquaia

:Kiss:

----------


## Paula

> Hope that it's easing even a tiny bit each day. I hope the plans for the next few days are to rest....


It really is a tiny bit, but Ill take that. Ill rest, mainly because apparently I really scared my family. Ive also realised that Si stayed at home all week last week to look after me - and actually took time off work. Hes too busy to keep doing that so I have to get myself better

----------


## Suzi

I think it's great that he stayed home to look after you. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow....

----------


## Mira

I think its great too. And I doubt that he would be able to focus on his work in a good enough way if you are at home going through this.

I think its where he needed to be.

----------

Suzi (09-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

Yo Sparkles! How you doin'?

----------


## Paula

Not great. I ache and feel sick. However, the neck pain is staring to ease  :): . Ive fed Polo and given him his meds, so thats a bonus. The more I do, the less Jess has to complain about doing lol.

Mums coming up for a hospital appointment on Thursday and Ive today made the exec decision that Jess can pick her up from the train station and bring her here for lunch before the appointment - Mums not well enough to go out for lunch and neither am I

----------


## Suzi

Hope Mum's OK? 
I'm seriously glad that you are putting that in place. Right now you need to look after you...

----------


## Jaquaia

Hope it eases soon  :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Sounds like a good exec decision. Thinking about all people involved. Thats good  :Panda:  I do hope you will feel better soon.

----------


## Paula

Mums had this chest infection for 6 weeks - after 2 courses of antibiotics theyve decided its viral and rest is all she can do.

Shes got a follow up re her foot, but is fairly sure hell recommend surgery as the steroids have not done the job

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! Poor Mum! Give her a hug from me.... I feel like I know her a bit!  :):

----------


## Paula

I will  :): 

Im devestated. Katie and I had booked to go for an experience at Bombay Sapphire on Friday and Ive had to tell her Im not well enough to go. This is something I was going to do with her for her 18th and I finally gave her some vouchers on her 21st. So we were really looking forward to doing this together. They dont have a refund or rearrange policy but will consider it if a written request is emailed over. I told her to take someone else but she wanted to do it with me. 

Im at that horrible stage where I cant cope with doing anything but am bored with not doing anything. So Ive been trying to customise my fb page a bit - hopefully I havent broken anything :/

----------


## Suzi

Oh love, I'm sorry about the visit. I wish I had words to make it easier, but I don't....  :Panda:  :(bear):

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Paula

Im feeling so tearful tonight. I can take my meds in half hour then Im going to bed and hope I can get comfort in sleep

----------


## Suzi

Must be something in the air, I'm all teary too... Hope you get some sleep love.  :Panda:

----------

Paula (09-04-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:  for both of you

----------

Paula (09-04-19),Suzi (10-04-19)

----------


## Mira

Oh no,  :Panda:  big hugs to all. And I hope for a good nights sleep and sweet dreams.

----------

Paula (09-04-19),Suzi (10-04-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

How are you feeling today lovely?  :Panda:

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Hope today is at least a little brighter for you gorgeous lady x

----------


## Mira

If people could take your pain and troubles away just by how much they care about you. You would not have one single thing going on with you.

Going through what you experience and still care about others and be so supportive. Its heartwarming  :Panda:

----------

Paula (10-04-19)

----------


## Paula

> If people could take your pain and troubles away just by how much they care about you. You would not have one single thing going on with you.
> 
> Going through what you experience and still care about others and be so supportive. Its heartwarming


Thank you, sweetie, thats such a lovely thing to say.

Im up and down like a yo-yo at the moment. Si thinks we should be thinking of giving up on the morphine but I still dont know how much of the symptoms is tapentadol withdrawal

----------


## Suzi

I've heard tapentadol withdrawal is horrific. You stopped cold turkey too so it's going to be rough. The decision has to be yours.

----------


## Paula

My symptoms certainly get worse as I get more tired. I am slowly getting better - katie said earlier that I was stringing sentences together for the first time, though that got worse as I got tired. But, although Im generally aching, I think the CRPS pain is less - which Im hoping means the morphine is doing its job. But, this all sucks .....

----------


## Allalone

:Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

Fingers crossed that it's down to withdrawal and will wear off soon. :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Of course it sucks, it's f*cking tough what you're doing. You are a WARRIOR and you can do this.

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda: 
Just leaving this here. Xx

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

You haven't posted here today. Does that mean you're in a really bad way?

----------


## Paula

Mums been here for lunch and it wore me out so I slept a lot. She saw her consultant and shes got to have surgery on her foot (Mortons Neuroma).

Otherwise, Ive been up and down all day. But I got to see my mum  :):

----------

OldMike (12-04-19),Strugglingmum (11-04-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Glad that you got to see your Mum lovely, sorry that she needs surgery. 
I'm also really glad that you rested...

----------


## Paula

Not going too well today. The twitching is horrible and Ive got pain around the top of my stomach

----------


## Jaquaia

Is it worth contacting your consultant?

----------


## Strugglingmum

:S:  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Have you called your care team? If not, why not? What does Si say?

----------


## OldMike

Do you need to see your GP especially with the tummy pains?  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Mira

I hope you are ok  :Panda:

----------


## Allalone

Sending gentle hugs Paula. :(bear): 
 :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

You OK?

----------


## Paula

Getting there - brains less confused, twitching and pain is less and I think Im less slurred and ...... I think I have more movement in my hand!

----------


## Jaquaia

So pleased things have improved!

----------

Paula (13-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

Hooray!!!!!

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's so good to hear. Praying things continue to improve for you. Xx

----------


## Paula

This hasnt been good for my weight - Ive put 4lbs on since this started ....

----------


## Strugglingmum

First things first. Xx
Weight can be tackled when you are in a better place. Xx

----------

Paula (13-04-19),Suzi (13-04-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

You'll sort it. Look at how well you did dropping the weight to help your IIH considering you were limited in terms of exercise. I have every faith that you will soon shift it  :Panda:

----------

Paula (13-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

As the others have said, you'll shift it again.

----------


## Paula

My brain is shifting away from me so Ill say goodnight  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

Night lovely  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Night gorgeous x

----------


## Strugglingmum

Night. X

----------


## Suzi

How are you today lovely?

----------


## Paula

So, I thought I was doing ok and looking forward to having my hair done - which has completely screwed my poor brain up and Im feeling lousy again.

----------


## Suzi

I'm sorry love.... Pacing please?

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Allalone

:Panda:

----------


## Mira

You have been going through a lot lately. Try to take it easy if you can  :(bear):  :(bear):   there are always more berenknuffels to go round though.

----------

Paula (15-04-19),Suzi (14-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

YAY! You said berenknuffles! I've been wanting you to say that since you came back! I love it!

----------



----------


## OldMike

Yep I'm all for berenknuffles it is just so descriptive, so berenknuffles to Paula and all DWD'ers  :(bear):

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Paula

Morning! I spent yesterday sleeping and watching stud on my iPad (US Masters was on - one of the two times. Year I allow Si to have the remote  :O: ).  But mainly sleeping. Im feeling a bit better so far today *crosses everything*

----------


## Jaquaia

I would have slept too with the golf on!  :(giggle): 

Glad you're feeling better

----------


## Suzi

Pfft golf.... 
Watching stud? Wondering if that was a typo for stuff or if you should be coming clean with who "stud" is?  :(rofl): 
Glad today is better than yesterday.

----------


## Paula

Pmsl it was a typo for stuff! Tbh, I didnt have the energy for watching stud yesterday - maybe Ill try today  :(rofl):

----------


## Mira

I am just so happy you are feeling a bit better today  :):

----------


## OldMike

Stud haha thought it must be a new movie  :(rofl):

----------


## Paula

Mostly todays been much better but Im tired now and that seems to trigger symptoms. Still, its definitely been a few steps forward today, in the main. Its just going to take a bit of time

----------


## Suzi

Pacing, pacing and pacing please! Make sure you rest....

----------


## Paula

Will do, Boss  :O:

----------

Suzi (15-04-19)

----------


## Allalone

It’s good to hear you’ve made a few steps forward and you’re listening to the Boss Lady!

Take care Paula. :(bear):

----------

Paula (15-04-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Glad today was easier. Xx

----------

Paula (16-04-19)

----------


## Mira

Is today a bit easier again? I hope so.

----------


## Paula

> Is today a bit easier again? I hope so.


Thank you, lovely. And yes Im ok. It seems tiredness and stress take their toll but Im so much better than I was, so Ill take that  :O:

----------


## Suzi

How's the pain doing lovely?

----------


## Paula

Ok, still there but manageable

----------


## Suzi

Better than it was before the change?

----------


## Flo

Tiredness and stress knocks the stuffing out of you - well me anyway! - hope you're feeling much better very soon.xx

----------


## Paula

> Better than it was before the change?


I thought so but tonights been rough with my hand. I do think its less rough than previously tho. Early days...

----------


## Suzi

Morning love. How are things today? Plans?

----------


## Paula

Plans? Putting some items on Makalulus Treasures, scheduling some FB page stuff and Im going to try driving up the road to pick up my prescription. If its too much, Jess is home so can come get me ....

Ive already called the vets re a prescription, texted a couple of people and worked out how to change the batteries in the thermostat. Small things but Im starting to engage with the world again

----------

OldMike (17-04-19),Strugglingmum (17-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

You changed the batteries on the thermostat? Does that need the same level of NASA maths and engineering know how as changing the time on the cooker? Sounds to me like you're doing loads...

----------


## Paula

> You changed the batteries on the thermostat? Does that need the same level of NASA maths and engineering know how as changing the time on the cooker? Sounds to me like you're doing loads...


Well of course I had instructions from Si  :O: 

So, I did manage to do everything on the list, picked up some mini eggs and paracetamol from the Co op, agreed to a pharmacist meds review thing (Im not sure how to say no when they come at me with that lol), and also spoke to my GP about my morphine prescription - he said I sounded much better and was happy to keep with the 30mg twice daily for now. Oh, and I didnt know Im entitled to a prescription for a spray to help me with my meds induced dry mouth. So thats been requested.

Im very tired ....

----------


## Jaquaia

Just so you know, they taste rank  :O:

----------


## Suzi

I hope you're now resting.... You've done more today than you have for a week or so....

----------


## Mira

If you are tired then a bit of a rest sounds wonderful. You certainly earned it.

----------


## Paula

Thanks Jaq ......  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

Here to help  :Kiss:

----------

Paula (18-04-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Morning Petal, how are you today?

----------


## OldMike

> Plans? Putting some items on Makalulus Treasures, scheduling some FB page stuff and Im going to try driving up the road to pick up my prescription. If its too much, Jess is home so can come get me ....
> 
> Ive already called the vets re a prescription, texted a couple of people and worked out how to change the batteries in the thermostat. Small things but Im starting to engage with the world again


Changing batteries in a thermostat, that's epic as a degree in engineering is usually required to get the cover off without breaking it.

Glad things are slowly improving  :(bear):   :Panda:

----------

Paula (18-04-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

> Changing batteries in a thermostat, that's epic as a degree in engineering is usually required to get the cover off without breaking it.



J HAS a degree in engineering and it still took him 10 years to change the battery :(giggle):

----------

Paula (18-04-19)

----------


## Paula

> Morning Petal, how are you today?


Ok but tired. I *may* have pushed myself a bit too far yesterday .... So today Im taking it easy. Polo is having a bad day too so we can snooze together  :(snooze): 

I forgot to mention yesterday. I was coming up the stairs on the stairlift yesterday, turned the corner round the bannister and there was a huge crunching sound and it felt like the chair was collapsing under me.  Turns out my crutch, that Id leant against the bannister to use when I made it upstairs, had fallen underneath the lift. Its snapped in half!

----------


## Suzi

OMG! Poor crutch! Glad it wasn't anything more dangerous though and you are safe... 
Hope you and Polo are having a resting pacing day....

----------


## OldMike

Poor crutch, do you thing it is a sign you need to get a more blingy crutch! One with extra sparkles perhaps  :O:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Glad it wasn't part of you that went crunch!!

----------


## Paula

> OMG! Poor crutch! Glad it wasn't anything more dangerous though and you are safe... 
> Hope you and Polo are having a resting pacing day....


Polos been very quiet today, poor love, didnt even get up when daddy got home. Ive felt a lot better this afternoon - even the courier said I sounded better  :O: 




> Poor crutch, do you thing it is a sign you need to get a more blingy crutch! One with extra sparkles perhaps


It was my favourite crutch too....  :=(: 





> Glad it wasn't part of you that went crunch!!


Me too. Kudos for German engineering though, maybe the stairlift wasnt that expensive after all!

----------


## Suzi

How's Polo now? 
Glad you're feeling brighter lovely.

----------


## Paula

Hes ok, just sore bless him

----------


## Suzi

I sympathise...  :(bear):  to Polo

----------


## Paula

My iPad cover fell apart yesterday so LOOOOOOOOOOK!! Its a handbag. For my iPad!!!   :(inlove):

----------


## Jaquaia

That's pretty!!!

----------


## OldMike

Wow it's even got a bow on it  :): 

Poor Polo, walking home from lunch I got chatting to a guy (bit younger than me) walking an 11 year old greyhound and immediately thought of you and Polo, this old greyhound wouldn't be rushed he just wanted to sniff trees and grass and move at his own very slow pace  :):

----------


## Paula

Yep, Mike, thats just like my old boy (and Polo  :(giggle): )

----------

OldMike (19-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

That is really pretty!

----------


## Paula

> That is really pretty!


I know! Those algorithms that work out what youll like really are very good  :O:

----------


## Suzi

:(rofl):  :(rofl): 

How are you today? How's Polo?

----------


## Paula

Polo doesnt like the heat, I bet yours dont either ....

This was my (good) hand this morning. Its swollen every morning and gradually improves but its getting worse every day. Really odd - anyone got any ideas?

----------


## Jaquaia

Not a clue. Is it worth trying to get an early appointment with your gp so they can see how bad it gets?

----------


## Suzi

Arthritis? Could it be where you are lying on it or something overnight? Does it get easier the more you use it? Fluid retention? Mine are similar in the morning too and I have to keep wriggling the fingers to get the circulation going again.... 
Definitely talk to your Dr about it..

----------


## Angie

Sweetie show your drs those pics if needs be and be careful of your ring when your hands are swollen

----------


## Mira

Well if I would guess I would think fluid retention. But it may be a good idea to go see a doctor about it.

----------


## Paula

I had fluid retention in my ankles when I first started BP meds but that disappeared after a while. So its possible but Im surprised its only in just that one hand. Even my bad hand doesnt swell like that. 

Cos of my knee, I sleep on my back and never move, apparently, so I dont think I lie on it. It does go down as the day goes by but today its still feeling tingly now, which is the longest yet.

Im going to take photos each day to show the doctor

----------


## OldMike

Mosquito bites cause my hands to swell up like that but if you haven't been bitten on the hand it is more likely to be poor circulation resulting in fluid retention. I'd see what your GP says if it persists.

----------


## Paula

Its persisted for about a year already, its just got worse recently. Theres been so much more important health stuff with, Ive tried to ignore it

----------


## Suzi

But ignoring it isn't making it go away....

----------


## Paula

I know ....

----------


## Suzi

Morning Sparkles, how's you this find Easter morning?

----------


## Paula

Good! Were off out to have lunch with my brother and SIL later  :):

----------

OldMike (21-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

Have a lovely time!

----------


## Jaquaia

Have fun!

----------


## Paula

Things didnt quite go to plan. I got a call from Sis mum, Sis dad was taken to hospital by ambulance this morning with heart problems. Hes had angina (and stents for about 20 years) and had a TIA a couple of years ago. We heard nothing til about half hour ago. He was admitted with a heart rate of 150+ which theyve stabilised but have admitted him til they figure out whats wrong.

----------


## Jaquaia

Hope he recovers quickly  :Panda:

----------


## Paula

Hes 83....

----------


## Mira

Thats not the way to spend these days...  :Panda:

----------

Paula (21-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

Oh no! I'm sorry lovely... No one needs that kind of stress.... Any news? How's Si?

----------


## Paula

Si is doing his normal head in sand thing. Thing is, weve known for months somethings up but my FIL wouldnt see the doctor. Now its a case of whether hes left it too late.

----------


## Suzi

Sweetheart you and I both know that medical science is amazing... Give it time and wait and see.... 
Massive hugs for you all xx

----------

Paula (21-04-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

Oh hun. I'm so sorry. So worrying for you all.  :Panda:

----------

Paula (21-04-19)

----------


## Allalone

Sending big hugs Paula.  :(bear): 
 :Panda:

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Any news? How are you all?

----------


## Paula

No news yet. Everyones a bit tense and bickering

----------


## Paula

FIL had a bad night as his heart kept racing. Mil is going up to the hospital now to see the drs and hopefully find out whats going on

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Angie

:(bear):

----------


## Mira

:(bear):

----------


## Paula

So FIL s heart has settled so hes home. But, they think theres something up with his intestines so will be doing a CT scan and endoscopy tomorrow.

Oh, and my cracked tooth is loose  :(:

----------


## Mira

He is home, thats a good thing. And then its just wait and see what will come out the scans.

Can you go to the dentist soon?

----------


## Paula

Ill try to get to the dentist tomorrow

----------


## Jaquaia

:Panda:

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni, I really hope that your tooth is easily sorted and that FIL is better soon too x

----------


## Paula

Ive had my tooth out (it broke into 4 pieces!) and it needed stitching. But its dealt with now. Well talk in 3 months to decide what to do but hes encouraging me to just leave it as itd probably need an implant. Im going to see if it bothers me as it's not immediately visible

----------


## Jarre

I had a molelar out 4 weeks ago but same it isn't seen and not making anything difficult to eat or anything so leaving it as is. am back on Friday for a proper checkup and renewing a filling, so glad I managed to find an NHS dentist in Derby.

----------


## Suzi

Glad it's sorted lovely x

----------


## Jaquaia

Hope you're resting now lovely  :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Yes its good its taken care of. The dentist here is expensive. So I had a tooth removed and did a implant. That cost me 1600 euro total. Then it got infected so the whole thing needed to be taken out. So there is nothing there. You can see it but not that good. So it does not bother me that much.

----------


## Paula

Yeah. Mira, thats another £85 on top of £3,050 2 weeks ago. My poor hubby is quivering in a corner  :O: 

Weve heard from MIL.  FILs gallbladder is inflamed so hes got antibiotics.  Theres a lot of fluid coming from his heart and pressing on his organs so hes got diuretics. Hes still having diarrhoea and not eating so theyre going to do endoscopy and the other end. Hes also got to have an echo for his heart. Hes got a lot going on  :=(:  :=(: 

Anyway, Im sore and tearful so Im going to bed early

----------


## Mira

:(bear):  :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

:(bear):  :(bear):  I'm so sorry you're sore and tearful lovely  :(bear): 
Hope they find out what's up with FIL and get him fixed fast...

----------


## Strugglingmum

:Panda:  I'm sorry you have so much stress at the moment. Sending hugs.

----------


## Suzi

Morning love, any brighter today?

----------


## Allalone

Hope today is a better for you.  :Panda:

----------


## Mira

:(bear):  wishing you all the best

----------


## Paula

Im still on soft food and a bit wiped out. I was supposed to see my curate today but Ive cancelled as I just cant face visitors. 

Im really, really worried about my FIL. Im really trying not to borrow trouble but ....

----------


## Suzi

It's natural to worry. That doesn't make it easier I know, but I sent up a prayer or two for you in Church this morning. I'm hoping it helps...

----------

Paula (24-04-19)

----------


## OldMike

:(bear):   :Panda:

----------


## Mira

Its normal to worry. Do take care of yourself and the family  :Panda:

----------


## Jaquaia

How are you doing lovely?

----------


## Paula

I feel so low. I feel Ive been fighting my health for so long recently and Im tired of it all. And I cant stop fretting about FIL even though I know Id have heard if something bad had happened. I tried so hard to relax today md failed, dismally. And Im fed up of having cancelling so much recently. Im tired of my house

----------


## Jaquaia

Is there anything we can do to help?  :Panda:

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm so sorry Paula. You've been having such a rough time recently. You're not feeling good and that's understandable. Please just keep doing moment by moment. It's a  horrible season for you but it will pass and you can do this. Xx

----------


## Paula

> Is there anything we can do to help?


I dont know, tbh




> I'm so sorry Paula. You've been having such a rough time recently. You're not feeling good and that's understandable. Please just keep doing moment by moment. It's a  horrible season for you but it will pass and you can do this. Xx


Thank you

----------


## Mira

Smum wrote it so well I can not say it any better  :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

Will you talk to your Dr about how you are feeling and how bad you are feeling?

----------


## Paula

Im not sure theres any point. All Ill get is that Ive had a lot on and Ill recover. And my GP cant do anything with my meds. I will talk to Si though

----------


## Suzi

Have you talked to Si?

----------


## Paula

He was out last night and didnt get in til 11 but I did briefly mention it (hed had a few beers so Im not sure how much he took in)

My mouth is sore (and it hurts to talk) but its better than yesterday

My FILs Endoscopy showed an inflamed gallbladder (which we knew) but no masses  :): . He felt a bit better so hopefully the dietetics are reducing the fluid. Theyve got to figure out whats causing it and hes got his echo on Monday

----------


## Jaquaia

No masses is good news!!!

How are you feeling today?  :Panda:

----------


## Suzi

No masses is amazing news! 
Are you going to be able to talk to Si about it tonight?

----------


## Paula

I will though I dont want to overstress him at the moment

----------


## magie06

He will worry if you don't talk to him.

----------


## Strugglingmum

I'm sure someone called Paula always tells me I need to tell my husband how I'm feeling...... maybe I could introduce you to her :Panda:

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  what a bloody cheek, turning my own advice on me  :(rofl):

----------


## Strugglingmum

:(rofl): 
How smug am I!!! 
Awk lovely it's hard I know. You've had so so much but it doesn't help to know that when you are low. All you can see is the down. Moment by moment. Praying for you. Xx

----------


## Suzi

Just to add.... If you don't tell him then he is only going to worry but without a focus. Tell him. You would hate for him to not tell you how he was feeling....

----------


## Paula

Ah well, Suzi, you underestimate my husband  :O:  I said I was struggling with everything thats been going on. He said that this was a dip and that *wed* get through to the other side. Then I started doing things round the house to find hed already given the kids all the jobs to do, and I was told to rest. I didnt have to tell him, he already knew  :):

----------


## Strugglingmum

What a gem. Xx

----------


## Suzi

I thought he might....

----------


## OldMike

Si sounds an absolute darling  :):

----------


## Mira

Si is the best. And thats good because you deserve just that  :(bear):

----------


## Suzi

How are you? Si? FIL?

----------


## Paula

Si is pretty awesome, but dont tell him I told you that  :O:  Im cross actually, we can only assume FIL is ok because MIL told Si shed only ring if there was anything important to tell, apparently shes fed up with ringing round to 4 people every time......

----------


## Suzi

Maybe you could set up a round robin kind of thing - so she calls 1 person who calls another etc? 
No news is good news then? 

Apart from cross, how are you?

----------

OldMike (26-04-19)

----------


## Paula

I suggested that to Si, also suggested she set up a message group. I got shut down.  I hope no news is good news but, although we knew he wasnt great, none of us knew how bad he was

----------


## Suzi

That's so selfish of her! You must all be so worried - it's always easier knowing how things are - even if it isn't great news...

----------


## Paula

Yeah, well, thats what I have to deal with. She rang the landline when Si was walking Polo the other day. She said shed ring back as she didnt want to repeat anything and we could do it on loudspeaker then almost instantly called Sis mobile ...

Still, just booked the ferry to the IOW on 12th May  :(party):

----------

Jaquaia (27-04-19),OldMike (26-04-19)

----------


## Suzi

Woohoo! Are you going to stay over or just do the day trip?

----------


## Paula

Day trip - we dont want to leave Polo overnight.

I decided this week I was going to have a clear out of shoes and handbags, and organise the understairs cupboard. I started this morning, only intended to do a bit at a time but turned round after a while and realised Id blocked myself in the cupboard! The only way out was to keep going ...... Im knackered. I actually shocked myself with the amount of shoes and handbags Ive got that I never use so am going to be really strict with myself from now on - Im still left with 19 pairs of shoes, which is far more than anyone needs. And Ive only kept the quality bags - Ive got more than enough to coordinate with anything I wear.

----------


## Jaquaia

And co-ordination is vitally important!!!!

For someone who lives in baseball shoes, I have more shoes than I need...

----------


## Allalone

Of course you need to coordinate! I have 2 bags and they go with all my trainers!! :(rofl):

----------


## Jaquaia

:(rofl):

----------


## Paula

So, having carefully avoiding any spoilers, *Im watching Endgame tonight!!* *maybe a little excited*  :O:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Oooh. My son went last night, daughter going tonight. She won't go hear him in case he spoils it :(rofl):

----------


## Allalone

Hope you enjoy! My middle one went on Thursday to see it and said it was “Bloody brilliant!” Youngest is going to see it tomorrow.

----------


## Suzi

Do NOT tell me any spoilers about endgame as I really want to see it too! 

19 pairs of shoes? Really? I thought I had loads with 1 pair of "running" trainers, 2 sneakers - 1 with more holes than shoe and the other with a couple of holes, 1 pair of sandals and some walking boots!

----------


## Paula

19 are the ones Im keeping .... Im appalled tbh

Endgame was incredible! And thats all Im going to say (except dont take a drink in, its a verrrry long 3 hours with a full bladder)  :O:

----------


## Suzi

I've booked tickets to go on Monday evening! I'm trying to avoid all spoilers!

----------


## Jaquaia

I've not seen half the Marvel films...

----------


## Suzi

Jaq I'm shocked! Get thee watching all of them!

----------


## Paula

> I've not seen half the Marvel films...


I may have to unfriend you......  :O:

----------


## Jaquaia

My brothers kind of give up on me. I've only seen the first Avengers movie, not seen any of the others. Not seen the new Spiderman, Iron Man 3, Guardians of the Galaxy, seen the first Captain America but none of the others, only seen the first Thor... I think I may be a hopeless case!!!

----------


## Allalone

Jaq, I can’t believe it!! 
I have no other words apart from.....why?!!! :X:

----------


## Jaquaia

I prefer books to films!

----------


## OldMike

> I prefer books to films!


Reading a book can be a more involving experience than watching a movie.

Paula I take it Avengers Endgame is different to the Avengers that was on TV in the 60's with John Steed (Patrick Macnee), Cathy Gale (Honor Blackman  :(inlove): ), Emma Peel (Diana Rigg) and Tara King (Linda Thorson) or is it just a rehash of that series? Answers on a post card to Clueless c/o Mike, Old Mike's Towers, Oop North, UK

----------


## Paula

Jaq, I love both!

Mike, this avengers is based on the Marvel Comics of superheroes including the Hulk, Spider-Man etc

----------


## Suzi

I love them both too! Just watched "Infinity War" again as preparation for tomorrow night! OMG So excited!

----------

Paula (28-04-19)

----------


## magie06

I haven't seen ANY of the Marvel films! I have never seen an episode of Game of thrones and I only read the first 2 Harry Potter books.

----------


## Jaquaia

:Surprised:  :Surprised:  :Surprised:

----------


## Suzi

Magie.. I'm shocked!!

----------


## Paula

Then what do you talk about in day to day conversation??  :(giggle):

----------


## magie06

I watch the soaps. And we talk about Gerry and Aisling's upcoming trip to London and Wembley. That takes a lot of time.

----------


## Paula

The only topics of conversation in our house all weekend were, the Avengers film, Jesss birthday and Polos arthritis ...... after 20 years, cuddling up, talking all night, putting the world to rights is long gone  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Ours is similar!

----------


## Paula

So, after clearing a mountain of shoes and handbags on Saturday, followed by cinema Saturday this morning Ive been moving some (not many, dont worry) slate bits from the back garden to the pot out the front. Could this be the morphine doing its job?

----------


## Jaquaia

It's possible. How are you feeling?

----------


## Paula

Im ok  :):

----------


## Suzi

Should you be moving slate? 

But yes sounds like it's kicked in! Are things better? More manageable?

----------


## Paula

It was a small job I asked Si to do, but suddenly had to get it sorted...... I know  :O: 

Obviously the pains not gone but, yes, its more manageable and Im beginning to realise it hasnt been manageable for far too long, I can even feel my shoulders relaxing.

----------


## Suzi

Wow that's amazing! That's such a huge change! I'm so pleased for you!

----------


## Allalone

It’s so good to hear that you’re feeling a bit better. Be careful you don’t do too much though. I hope you’re taking it easy this afternoon......I think they call it pacing?! :8):

----------


## Paula

:(rofl):  if by pacing you mean photographing many handbags to sell, bending over at all angles to get decent pictures, then yeah, Ive been pacing  :O:

----------


## Mira

How is that going? Your hobby?

----------


## Paula

Ive not done much recently, Ive  been too poorly, but Im just getting motivated again  :):

----------


## Mira

Thats great. This put a smile on my face  :(nod):

----------

Paula (29-04-19)

----------


## Strugglingmum

> Ive not done much recently, Ive  been too poorly, but Im just getting motivated again


This is so so good to hear.  :Hedgehog:

----------

Paula (29-04-19)

----------


## Paula

Its been a pottering sort of day but things have got done. Ive got a Housegroup social tonight so didnt want to overdo it today and not enjoy tonight 

Im still feeling good  :):

----------

OldMike (01-05-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

Brilliant!!!

----------


## Mira

Thats great. I so hope you will enjoy tonight. Have fun.

----------


## Suzi

Did you enjoy tonight?

----------


## Paula

It was nice  :): . And this weekend I seem to have a social life - dinner on Saturday for Jesss birthday and a quiz night with my ex in laws, Katie and her boyfriend on Sunday night  :(party): .

----------

OldMike (02-05-19)

----------


## Suzi

Don't overdo it love.... Walking before running please?

----------


## Paula

I know, but its so nice to be able to do things  :):

----------

OldMike (02-05-19)

----------


## Mira

It is. I am happy you enjoyed yesterday. And if you take it easy before the weekend I am sure you will have fun  :(party):

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing today?

----------


## Paula

Good, Ive done some cross stitch and (and this is huge for me) I went to sainsburys, on my own!!! It meant I could get Jesss birthday cake. Im a wee bit tired now but it was so worth it  :):

----------

Strugglingmum (02-05-19)

----------


## Suzi

That's amazing! I'm so pleased for you!

----------


## Strugglingmum

That's amazing. Xx
Well done you. It's the little things that mean the most. Xx

----------


## Paula

Todays my youngests 18th birthday. We were up at the crack of dawn for pressies (as Si had an early meeting). Pressies went down really well - which was a relief as I wasnt sure about the ring I bought her. The rest of the day has been mainly taxiing her around, interspersed with cross stitch  :O:

----------

OldMike (03-05-19)

----------


## Jaquaia

Sounds like a good day!

----------


## Mira

Congratulations Paula (https://everything2.com/title/Dutch+...party+protocol)
I hope the day was good and enjoyed by all. The link is how we most of the time do a party. Even the younger people do it this way.

----------

Paula (03-05-19)

----------


## Suzi

Sounds like a wonderful day!

----------


## Flo

Glad you had a good day. How does she feel about being 18?

----------


## Paula

> Glad you had a good day. How does she feel about being 18?


Chuffed she could order cocktails last night  :O:

----------


## Allalone

My middle one was 18 in feb and he was desperate to be asked for ID?!

I’m pleased she enjoyed her night!

----------


## Suzi

How are you today? Are you able to pace in between social events?

----------


## Paula

Im good and not doing much this afternoon before we go to dinner, and the quiz is tomorrow evening so I should be fine.

----------

Suzi (04-05-19)

----------


## Flo

O to be 18 again!..... :(clap):

----------


## Strugglingmum

Hope you have really enjoyed your weekend celebrations.  Xx :Kiss:

----------


## Suzi

How was dinner? Are you resting today?

----------


## Paula

Dinner was lovely, as were the complimentary rhubarb martinis  :O: . Jess had a really good time too. Im tired and, yes Suzi, will be resting today

----------


## Mira

Thats awesome that you had a good time. Resting after the few days you had will keep a smile on your face. Its so good that you had these moments.

----------


## Suzi

Rhubarb martinis? OMG those sound amazing! How many did you drink?

----------


## OldMike

> Dinner was lovely, as were the complimentary rhubarb martinis . Jess had a really good time too. I’m tired and, yes Suzi, will be resting today


Rhubarb Martinis ye jest, oh Princess surely thou doth mean rhubarb crumble and custard served on a silver platter by a comely wench  :O:

----------


## Strugglingmum

Sounds wonderful. Feet up princess. Time to replenish those spoons. Xx

----------


## Paula

> Rhubarb martinis? OMG those sound amazing! How many did you drink?


Almost 2 (Si was driving so just had a celebratory sip of his  :O: )

----------


## Suzi

Nom! They sound amazing. I love rhubarb!

----------


## Strugglingmum

How are you after your busy weekend? Feet up???

----------


## Paula

Yeah, todays been a cross stitch and binge watching How to get away with murder sort of day. I made a decision to reduce my paracetamol dose. By about 5pm I regretted my decision ........ funnily enough, Si came home from golf and told me he thought I may be running before I could walk  :O:

----------


## Suzi

:Panda:  :(bear):

----------


## Mira

Its easy to have that happen. When you have a good moment. But its so important to have those moments. Even more so after the weeks you had. Lets hope that taking it a bit easy will help.

----------


## Paula

I went to bed early - I was shaking it hurt so much. But Im a lot brighter this morning, with lesson learnt  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Oh hunni!  :Panda:   :(bear):   :Panda:   :(bear):  Glad you're much brighter today. Are you pacing and recharging today?

----------


## Paula

Im off to see my friend later   :O:

----------


## Allalone

But pacing too?

----------


## Suzi

Hope you have fun!  :):

----------


## Paula

> But pacing too?


Lol, Im sitting down watching Bones. Does that count?

----------


## Mira

If its not causing stress watching that  :):

----------


## Suzi

Is it good?

----------


## Allalone

Bones? I’m intrigued!

----------


## Paula

Bones with Dave Boreanaz - Ive watched every episode before but I just fancied watching something I dont have to think about itms

Spent most of the afternoon with a friend which was fab but Im knackered now - such a lightweight  :O:  tomorrow is Bombay Sapphire day with Katie  :(party):

----------


## Suzi

OOOOO Bombay Sapphire Day! Nom! I lurve Bombay Sapphire!

----------


## Allalone

> Bones with Dave Boreanaz - I’ve watched every episode before but I just fancied watching something I don’t have to think about itms
> 
> Spent most of the afternoon with a friend which was fab but I’m knackered now - such a lightweight  tomorrow is Bombay Sapphire day with Katie


Not heard of it Paula. 

Bombay Sapphire day sounds fantastic! Enjoy!!

----------


## Paula

Bombay sapphire day was amazing! The site (previously a Victorian paper mill) was beautiful, with 3 grade 2 listed buildings, one was from the 18th century. The tour was fascinating and the cocktails gorgeous  :O:  we both had a great day and will be going back in the summer

Im off to meet a friend this afternoon and Katies off to Kos with her boyfriend today  :):

----------


## EJ

I’ve really enjoyed looking at the photos Paula. Looks like you had an amazing time xx

----------

Paula (09-05-19)

----------


## Paula

We did, thanks EJ   :):

----------


## OldMike

Lovely photos especially the one of you and Katie  :): 

I find the one of the stills with all the pipework in the background quite intriguing  :O: 

PS. Don't show Suzi the pic of all those gin bottles she'd be in 7th heaven  :(giggle):

----------


## Suzi

Awesome photos! 
It looks amazing! How many cocktails did you drink? How much gin did you come home with?

----------


## Paula

Mike, I loved those stills too - really beautiful

I had just one cocktail (yum) and came home with a Bombay sapphire hamper  :O:

----------


## Suzi

Nom! Sounds delicious!

----------


## Jaquaia

The photo of you and Katie is gorgeous!

----------

Paula (09-05-19)

----------


## Mira

I love all the pictures. Such a nice place to visit. And so lovely to see you. Its a great picture of the two of you. 2 lovely ladies.

----------


## Paula

So, Katies in the air on her way to Kos. Not stressing at all  ........  :(:

----------


## Suzi

No, I'm sure you're not!

----------


## Allalone

Looks like you had a lovely time, my eldest would love to go there!
I’m sure Katie will be fine on her hols.

----------


## Paula

Katies landed and will have a great time. Im just terrified of flying and that includes when my family are flying ....

----------


## Suzi

Hooray! When's she on the way home?

----------


## Paula

Shes there for a week

----------


## Suzi

She'll have a great time!

----------


## Flo

The photo's are gorgeous Paula! A very good looking mum and daughter too!....love your new greenhouse! :(rofl):  I've forgotten what gin tastes like, but great you enjoyed it. Katie will have an amazing time in Kos. I've been there myself en route to Leros, one of the islands a few hours from there. I always follow the kids' planes on Flight Tracker to see where they are..it's nice watching a little tiny aircraft making it's way to it's destination. Have a good day love.xx

----------


## Suzi

How are you doing lovely?

----------


## Paula

Im ok, tired but its been a busy week. So today is rest and cross stitch  :):

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## Mira

Sounds like a good plan. And a nice day too. Enjoy  :):

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## Suzi

What's your weekend plans like?

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## Paula

Were going to the Isle of Wight on Sunday  :): 

Edit: Im going to close this thread and start a new one

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