# Help and Advice > Questions/Information about depression >  New here - Don't know whether to see my GP

## jambuttie

Hi, I'm new here and I don't know whether I might have a form of depression or I'm just being a hypochondriac.  Im not after a diagnosis or anything but I guess I just need some advice on whether its worth seeing my GP.

Im just over 40, male, good job, nice house, wife, kids, no major traumas past or present.  I should be happy and content.

Ive struggled with my moods over perhaps the last 25 years (17 onward).  The worst period was when I was in my late 20s where I had maybe a 4month period where I was not in a good mental state.  I would be very, very down nearly every day, i didnt want to go on, at one point I actually started to think the world around me wasnt real if that makes sense (very strange when I look back).  I came out of it and I havent had anything that severe since.  I think at that point I was depressed and should have seen someone.

Anyways on a continual basis I have periods where Im ok and can function in life OK.  I can focus on work, I do my hobbies, meet friends and family.  There are odd days where Ive had a bad day but on the whole Im content and happy.  This can last weeks and even months.  I would say this is normal me.

Ive also had periods where Im super productive in the things I do.  I can obsess about my hobbies a lot, work obsessively (all night even, although kids have stopped this trait a bit) and generally be really productive.  The things I do when Im in this way, I generally do quite obsessively. This generally lasts weeks rather than months and is followed up by me burning out, a crash and period of inactivity, sadness, lack of motivation, unable to function at work, loss of interest in friends and family.

I can also have periods where out of nowhere, all of a sudden its like everything starts to fall in on itself.  I start behaving unlike myself, I start to engage in destructive behaviour that is not good for my marriage.  I become very insular, stop meeting up with friends and family, Stop communicating with my wife, I stop doing my hobbies, my eating patterns and daily habits go out of the window and I cant focus on work.  My mind races like crazy and the destructive behaviour becomes obsessive.  When Im in this state its like I just dont care, like Im a different person.  I can get angry with my family and snap at them. Im not saying I feel sad in this state, in fact in some ways I feel the opposite.  This can last several weeks.  Then I start to come down to earth and either go back to normal me or can have a period of sadness, guilt, lack of motivation again.

Well that was a bit of a ramble and Im not after any kind of diagnosis but these cycles of ups and downs are doing my fricking head in and Im going to end up losing my job and or my family if I dont do something about it soon.  They seem to be getting worse as the years go by.

The reason why Im reluctant to go to my GP is because its not like I cant get out of bed in the morning or have suicidal thoughts.  Ive been around a couple of people with severe depression and I feel a bit of a fraud to put myself in the same category as them but something is not right and its having a detrimental effect on my life.

I guess what Im asking, in a very lengthy and convoluted way, is has anyone else had a similar experience, does it sound like depression and is it something my GP would be able to help with?


Thanks x

----------


## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. I would absolutely advocate you going to see your GP - you could print out this post and take it to them and hand it over if you find it difficult to talk to them.
Have you told your wife what is happening?

----------


## Paula

I completely agree with Suzi that you should see your doctor and printing this post would help a lot at your appointment.

Everybodys experience with mental health conditions are individual to them - as with anything in life, we all react differently so, just because 2 people have varied symptoms to each other does not mean theyre not struggling with the same issues. And, of course, thats where medical professionals come in. Your health is just as important as anyone elses. Youve been struggling with this a very long time - its time to get some help

----------


## jambuttie

Hi,

Thankyou Suzi and Paula for your responses.  My wife knows that I struggle with things sometimes and about a year ago I put certain structures in my life like meditation and daily habits that help me build structure into my life.  She doesn't know how bad things seem to be getting though or that I'm concerned I could have depression.  She would be supportive if she did.

I've booked an appointment with the doctors this afternoon and I'll print this out and take it with me as although I have no problem with talking to the doctors about it, it can be very difficult to explain sometimes.

----------


## Suzi

Talk to your wife. Let her know what's going on.. 

Please let us know how you get on at the Drs! That's a hugely positive step!

----------


## jambuttie

Hi,

I went to the doctors and saw the nurse practitioner there.  I showed her the printout and talked to her more about my history.

She was very supportive and listened well, she does think I have depression.  Given the length of time, the fact my moods tend to fluctuate and the fact that it doesn't seem to be triggered by any specific events she has suggested that therapy or a combination of therapy and medication may be an option further down the line but the first step is to have an assessment with NHS Talking Mental Health in our area who offer therapy and assessment.  I left a message with them yesterday and will chase them up today to make an appointment.

Is it normal that I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing here, I honestly feel a little ashamed?  What if I'm imagining all this? I honestly don't know if I feel better or worse for talking to someone about it.  That's nothing against the doctors, she was very easy to talk to and I felt really comfortable.  I think I just need to get into my head that there is something wrong and whether it's depression or something else then at least I'm doing something about it.

Thanks for your support.

----------


## OldMike

I get that feeling why me, why is everyone okay but me which is an illusion. It's a good thing that you've started to seek help and is a very positive step. Oh how remiss of me, welcome to DWD Jambuttie  :):

----------


## Paula

You havent done the wrong thing at all but youre not the only one who has mixed feelings in these situations. Its hard to admit you might have mental health problems - it shouldnt be, but thats the society we live in. Thats sh forums like DWD are vital. It gives us somewhere to talk and not be judged.

You done brilliantly in telling the nurse everything and Im so glad shes being proactive and supportive.

----------

OldMike (23-08-18)

----------


## Suzi

I'm so pleased she was supportive and helpful.
I agree with the others, you have done nothing wrong and actually you're doing the right thing by talking...

----------


## jambuttie

Thanks everyone and thanks for the welcome. I know deep down something isn't right or I wouldn't be on here typing this. My head is a bit foggy today which is probably not helping matters.

Talking Mental Health called me and I have a telephone assessment next Friday (face to face is a longer wait) where they will decide which services might benefit me.

I'll talk to my wife tonight about it too.

Thanks again.

----------


## Suzi

That's really positive - you've got a quick assessment appointment and you're going to talk to your wife. Brilliant. Well done.

----------


## jambuttie

Hi, Thanks.  I talked to my wife and she was glad I told her and supportive.  She was a bit upset with herself that she hadn't noticed or that I hadn't told her earlier (I have a tendency to try and hide things and deal with them myself) but I assured her that there was nothing obvious to notice and that sometimes I don't notice until it's too late myself and I think she felt better then.  I also assured her that it wasn't anything in my family or work life that was making me feel this way.

My mood feels a bit better today but I'm still struggling to focus on things and I keep forgetting what I'm saying half way through talking lol. I guess It's a waiting game now so thanks again for your help.

----------


## Paula

I think dealing with things ourselves is a common theme in many people with MH problems. Now that your wife knows whats going on, and if you involve her in your recovery, shell soon start to notice the symptoms more easily, Im sure

----------


## Suzi

I can't tell you how pleased I am that you've told her what's going on. I know for me it made everything so much easier when I at least knew what was going on in my husbands head. 
I now spot when things are slipping faster than he does. We now work as a team with his mental health.

----------


## jambuttie

Hi,

Just an update to show my appreciation for all your help.  I had my initial telephone assessment last Friday and the lady suspects that I have mild depression and possibly some anxiety from what I told her.  The next steps are that she speaks to her supervisor to decide what, if any, therapy options would suit me.

She will call again this coming Friday to discuss options. The low mood has lifted a lot this last week, although after speaking to her I actually felt worse rather than better for a day or two.  I'm going to keep going with this even though I feel a lot better than I did a couple of weeks ago.

----------


## Suzi

That's great- it does often make you feel worse to start with as you actually are dealing with what's causing your low moods etc...

----------


## OldMike

That's great, therapy can be difficult as it tries to get to the cause of what is causing your depression/anxiety so you need to persist with it.

----------


## jambuttie

Hi,  I had my assessment and am starting CBT Guided Self Help next Friday (over the telephone).  I'm not quite sure what to expect from it to be honest.  I read a little on the NHS website and I'll give anything a go.  

I'm worried that I won't be able to offer much in the way of things that could be causing my low moods and behaviour.

----------


## Suzi

Counselling is weird. You never think that it could help, the same as I believed about mindfulness, but it does. It can make things come to the surface which you've tried to bury even without knowing it... Do give it a go with an open mind.

----------


## Paula

You may find that itll be more about working on how you manage situations, thoughts, mood and behaviour going forward more than whats behind you itms?

----------


## jambuttie

Thanks, I will definitely go into it with an open mind.  I'm with you on the mindfulness Suzi. I did six months of online treatment on addiction (not drugs or alcohol, more a compulsive thing) and that's where I started meditating.  I went into it reluctantly at first because of my preconceptions but boy was I wrong!  It opened a whole new world to me in regards to being able to focus and rein in my thoughts before they lead me down the wrong path.  

I don't meditate as much at the moment but the effects of doing it for six months everyday mean I'm more aware of my thoughts now even if I've not managed to do it religiously.  I learnt a few good tools on that course and although it acknowledged the past it was very much focused on the now and future so I'm definitely open to learning more tools for the box Paula.

----------


## Suzi

Even doing a couple of body scans might help? Maybe try to get back into it a little? I'm so glad that you found it useful!

----------


## jambuttie

Yep, it certainly helped with focus and my addictive behaviours but, for me, not so much the cycle of low moods. I do need to keep doing it though to keep me in check!  I'll do some today!

----------

Paula (14-09-18)

----------


## Suzi

That's the trick, to remember to keep on using those skills....

----------


## jambuttie

Good Morning!

Just an update and looking for some advice please.  I had my first CBT session last Friday morning which was good and helpful on the whole.

My question is, from others experience, is there a benefit to telling work about my problems.  It would help explain, what must be an obvious lack in performance recently.

It would also mean I could do my CBT on a Friday morning without worrying about it making me late for work every week (which it will).

My work are very good and I've worked there over 20yrs. I'm only accountable to my directors so it's not like there is a chain of people who would need to know and I think on the whole it might be better that they are aware of it rather than thinking I've just become bad at my job.

I don't want any special treatment or time off but maybe just a little breathing space in regards to my performance while I work through things.  In my head I'm thinking they would be supportive but I guess there is always a risk with how people react.  I also don't want them to start thinking they can't give me stuff to do either.

Any thoughts?

----------


## Paula

Ive also been an advocate for honesty where mental health is concerned but I appreciate not everybody feels the same as me  :O: 

If you think itd help and that you could perhaps adjust your working hours to compensate, then perhaps explaining the basics is a good idea itms

----------


## jambuttie

Hi Paula,  Thanks for the reply.  I feel deep down that I need to be honest with my directors.  The alternative is that I lie about where I am during my CBT sessions and hope that I can keep my productivity above the being sacked threshold in the mean time.  Just kidding they would talk to me before it got that far I'm sure.

Thanks again!

----------


## Suzi

We've always been honest and open about My Lovely Husband's mental health - with both of our employers when we were working, with the schools that our children go to etc - but again, not everyone wants or is able to have that kind of openness...

----------


## jambuttie

Hi, thanks for the feedback.  I decided to tell them last Friday and they were very supportive with me coming in late on Fridays so I can do the CBT sessions and anything else I might need.

----------


## Paula

Thats great news! Well done for talking to them  :):

----------



----------


## Suzi

That's really brilliant!

----------



----------


## Prycejosh1987

> Hi, I'm new here and I don't know whether I might have a form of depression or I'm just being a hypochondriac.  Im not after a diagnosis or anything but I guess I just need some advice on whether its worth seeing my GP.
> 
> Im just over 40, male, good job, nice house, wife, kids, no major traumas past or present.  I should be happy and content.
> 
> Ive struggled with my moods over perhaps the last 25 years (17 onward).  The worst period was when I was in my late 20s where I had maybe a 4month period where I was not in a good mental state.  I would be very, very down nearly every day, i didnt want to go on, at one point I actually started to think the world around me wasnt real if that makes sense (very strange when I look back).  I came out of it and I havent had anything that severe since.  I think at that point I was depressed and should have seen someone.
> 
> Anyways on a continual basis I have periods where Im ok and can function in life OK.  I can focus on work, I do my hobbies, meet friends and family.  There are odd days where Ive had a bad day but on the whole Im content and happy.  This can last weeks and even months.  I would say this is normal me.
> 
> Ive also had periods where Im super productive in the things I do.  I can obsess about my hobbies a lot, work obsessively (all night even, although kids have stopped this trait a bit) and generally be really productive.  The things I do when Im in this way, I generally do quite obsessively. This generally lasts weeks rather than months and is followed up by me burning out, a crash and period of inactivity, sadness, lack of motivation, unable to function at work, loss of interest in friends and family.
> ...


I think you should see a therapist.

----------


## Suzi

It's not that easy to do that - there are long waiting lists etc...

----------

