# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Why do I still feel like I'm sinking?

## Lizzymoo80

Hey all, so this is hard isn't it? I've typed out a hundred posts recently but deleted them all because they but sound stupid! 
I've lived with depression  for 20+ years and I still don't understand it one bit. 
Why can't I deal with problems the same way as others? Why do I hide who I am? Why, even though I'm taking medication  do I find some days such a struggle? 
I'm a mum, a wife, I work full time, own a home, and have some lovely friends and I am really grateful for it all but I want to feel it like a normal person, not go into meltdown because I'm ashamed I can't keep things tidy, or freak out at the thought of people coming into my home, and go into total free fall when I've missed a bill payment and am terrified at th he though of actually having to deal with it. Why can't I deal with it??

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## S deleted

If you find the answer feel free to share it with me. I could’ve written most of that myself and totally get how you feel. I am accused of being too hard on myself but if I don’t push myself things will only get worse so how do you find the right balance? Sorry I don’t have an answer for you but wanted to let you know you’re not alone.

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. I also don't have those magic answers either - I don't think anyone does. But I do know that you can get through this...

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## TiffanyyO

> Hi and welcome to DWD. I also don't have those magic answers either - I don't think anyone does. But I do know that you can get through this...


♥ agreed

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## Lizzymoo80

Thanks guys, I know there is no simple answer, I guess if there were there'd be no need for supports forums like this. Today is a good day, I'm up, dressed, dog walked and kids happy, I'm proud of myself for that so I'm chalking today up as a win. Hope it's a good one for you too x

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## Suzi

Go you! You're doing great! Remember to pace yourself though so you don't have to deal with burnout tomorrow..

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## Paula

Hi Lizzy and welcome. Ido suspect that, if you could read minds, thered be more people who are asking those same questions than you think. I also suspect youre very good at putting your game face on. Youll find a lot of members here who completely understand you

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