# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  I don't know how I feel?

## Stephenmc

How i feel?
At this very moment I don't feel anything yet I cry in the bath for no apparent reason or cause.
My breathing becomes heavy as a voice in my head regurgitatedes how I'm so alone.
No friends . No family and as from today my girlfriend has left Me. Now my ex girlfriend.
She wants the house . She wants me to move.
But I'm happy here.  It's our house. I want to stay. 
I stand strong as she cries into my arms and says . Your not well. But I love you

How do I feel?
 Numb and ok?
This is probably the most common thing I feel mostly nothing. Everything seems fine. Yet I stay in this bath until my skin raises. The water turning cold ad my warm tears drop on my skin. Yet i dont feel the urge to move.
Many thoughts race around my head. Yet time stands still. Everything seems slower there is no rush. 
My face now burns because the tears yet I feel fine.
Where it went wrong?
This feeling has manufactured from lots off various emotions . Mainly loosing hope
Looking my mum
Something dying inside me
Spirraling out of control . Yet numb
Restless with the urge to sleep all day.
Yet not able to dream
Ambition has been eaten away 
Reality is a show that I'm unfortunately part of.
Regret is something I can not fathom 
Thoughts of anxiety. people places things
Yet the voice that little calm voice reassured me. It's all ok.
It's fine. It's ok. Don't worry

As I sit in the dark all Windows and blinds closed. Like my emotions with this world.
Yet if you ask me. I'm doing ok. Don't worry.
A day goes past. Another one. A week . 4weeks. No change.  No emotions  still here . Still dark. 

Maybe if I increase my antidepressants.  I have lost my job I have lost my sleep . I'm not happy.  Maybe this is A good change 
Yet numb.
I turn on tv. I make coffee and toast. 
This has been the first time i have bern awake early enough to see daytime tv..maybe months now.
I feel something maybe this is happy 
Why does everyone else think I'm sad?
What did i miss?

Yet I sit at 1am in a bath of tears for no reason . Rationalizing what I should do next.



What are my thoughts? 
Maybe I'm hungry?
I should watch a movie?
Should I get out or leave it 2more hours?

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## Suzi

:(bear):  Welcome to DWD. I'm sorry you're having a bad time atm. Have you seen your Dr recently? Are you eating and drinking enough? 
Great piece of writing...

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## Paula

Hi sweetheart and welcome to DWD. Im so sorry for the loss of your girlfriend, do you know why?  :Panda:

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