# Help and Advice > Home straight >  its getting better

## The_Scientist

So! It's been an interesting couple of months. I've made a lot of connections with volunteer organisations that will help with getting some experience. I still haven't sorted a better hob yet, but I have a new boyfriend who has been so supportive and given me a hell of a lot more confidence in myself. He's a little older than me but I don't care, he treats me like a  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: ing king. The pills have been fantastic and I think things are really looking up!

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## Suzi

That's a brilliant post! So glad things are working out! 
So... What's the new bf like?

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The_Scientist (01-03-18)

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## Paula

Thats awesome news! Im so chuffed for you  :):

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The_Scientist (01-03-18)

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## The_Scientist

he's great, we're similar in a lot of ways. it hasnt been very long and some woulf day we've moved fairly fast but just feels right. he works with people with mental health issues so he's very supportive of me, and he thinks i'm pretty amazing for some reason haha. he's really good at calming me down and helping me see some persoective. i kinda wish he was more ok with PDA but i cant have everything, and tbh im also slightly hesitant about that.

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## Suzi

Sorry remind me - PDA? 
I'm so pleased for you. How long have you been together?

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## Paula

Public displays of affection?

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## The_Scientist

> Sorry remind me - PDA? 
> I'm so pleased for you. How long have you been together?


public didplay of affection. it'd be nice to be a bit more relaxed about it but im not naive.

been dating for a few weeks now  :):

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## Paula

Hunni, Ive been married to my husband for 16 plus years and he still doesnt like PDA. Some people just dont, it doesnt matter who theyre with

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The_Scientist (01-03-18)

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## Suzi

Ahhhh lol my husband doesn't either!  :):

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The_Scientist (01-03-18)

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## The_Scientist

yeah, its not a big issue

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Suzi (01-03-18)

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## QPRFan

Great news  :):

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## The_Scientist

So we broke up. He felt we had were on different paths and he didnt feel a connection anymore. While hes probably got a point, im pretty cut up about it. It was about a month ago now and while i dont miss *him*, i really miss having that connection and someone being there. That coupled with the job situation has me feeling pretty lost and aimless atm. Its difficult to get out of bed and stay out. Ive taken plenty from the time we had together and i have more xonfidenxe in myswlf because of it but im not in a great place at the moment. Im going to make rhw 3ffoet to try and start running again, i may eventually join a gym (my flatmat3 can get me a diacounted membership or something). I could just do with some support right now.

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## Paula

Well, hopefully you know youll get that support here. Im sorry, lovely, breakups are always tough, whatever the circumstances  :(bear):

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## Suzi

I'm sorry you're hurting, but it is lovely to see you...

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## The_Scientist

> I'm sorry you're hurting, but it is lovely to see you...


Im feeling a lot better lately. Got a new job with regular hours closer to home and im going to try coming off the meds snd see how things go.

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## Paula

Well done on the job!

Hunni, its recommended that you stay on the meds at least 6 months after you start to feel better. Please dont come off them without talking to your doctor

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## OldMike

I agree with Paula, glad things are going well for you.

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## Suzi

OO What's the job? Something in your field of study? 
I do have to agree with the others, talking to your Dr before you make any changes to your dosage would be a good idea - at least to keep them in the loop..

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## The_Scientist

Yeah iv made an appointment for thursday so ill see what she says. 

The job is still waiting/ cafe work, but i did get a call today sbout some jobs in a chem lab.

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## Suzi

How're your living arrangements now?

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## The_Scientist

> How're your living arrangements now?


Im still in the same flat which is going pretty qell. 

Have lowered my dosage on the meds, seeing how that goes. 

The jobs going... ok. It'll do. I dont want to be there long, but at least i can pay my bills. I just reaent being expected to care about coffee or the shine on a spoon. Could really do with a holiday to be honest. But im applying for a trainee position with a conservation organisation that has my name written all over it, so im really hopeful about that. 

Overall, its not that i miss my ex specifically, im just really feeling his absence. It was great waking up next to someone and having that reassurance and encouragement.

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## Suzi

Why do you resent having to be concerned with the shine on a spoon? I used to be a waitress and took such pride in what I did - it wasn't a permanent job for me, but I've always tried to do the best I can no matter where I'm working.... 

Good luck for the conservation job.

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## The_Scientist

> Why do you resent having to be concerned with the shine on a spoon? I used to be a waitress and took such pride in what I did - it wasn't a permanent job for me, but I've always tried to do the best I can no matter where I'm working.... 
> 
> Good luck for the conservation job.


Because i dont care about it. Im not proud to be working here. To *still* be in customer service. Its mind numbing.

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## Suzi

Why do you look down on working with customer service?

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## Paula

Caring about what we do, caring about the difference we make in someones life, even if it is just the shine on the spoon, is important - its part of what makes us human

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## The_Scientist

I dont look down on it, its just not what i want to do. If someone chooses to be in customer service then great, but at the end of the day, i didnt slog my guts out for 4 years to get my qualifications just to serve coffee.

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## Paula

I didnt slog my guts for my entire working life to end up disabled, unable to work and on benefits but, hey, sometimes life sucks.

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## Suzi

> I dont look down on it, its just not what i want to do. If someone chooses to be in customer service then great, but at the end of the day, i didnt slog my guts out for 4 years to get my qualifications just to serve coffee.


I see that, but I didn't do 4 years to qualify me for teaching for my husband and then my own health to deteriorate massively so I'm unable to do what I love... But you make the best of it. I've always said to my children it doesn't matter if you're the King of England or the road sweeper, it's really important to do the best that you can.... What if the cleaner in the hospital doesn't do their job well? Or the nurses? Maybe you just have to remember that although it's not the perfect job you want, but right now it is putting food on your table, a roof over your head and actually what you think is a rubbish job might be the most perfect job that someone else might be desperate for. 
The most humbling thing when I was teaching a group of year 10 - 11's at a school for those with severe learning difficulties. One of the things we did was go out and about in the community building social skills. One of my students dream job was to work in McDonalds. Every time we ever went in there he was so excited that he just couldn't even talk and go up to order his own drink without support...

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OldMike (04-10-18)

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