# Help and Advice > Related Illness/medication/alternatives >  I have bunked the social groups.👍👍👍

## Yoyogurl

Have you ever been to a group in your local are and thought? Why the heck am I bothering turn up?  
Have you ever come out a group thinking, my grocery shopping is more interesting than this group, I have got a weeks worth of laundry I could do instead or get started on that boring excel document? 👎
But then you youve gone back the following week hoping to see some interest conversations and just left with bunch of people talking about weather , whats for dinner and youve repeated the same thing over. Perhaps youve done it A millions or youve been messed around. 👎
I feel your pain, it aint good. I know thinking what is she on about is convincing me to leave. 
Well I can tell you that I am right, you may thats my only connection for the week, I have been stuck in the house all week or I have been stuck at my desk and not socialised. 

I was in your position years months I was in the same cycle and it was really causing issues for the depression. I already have depression and it just made me feel 300 worse but since bunking group, its eased now. I dont sit and dwell about having limited friends, I have other purposes I would rather do and these things have more accomplishment then slobbing at the group and being half asleep. I also realised that I didnt have to first place I wasnt required and I walked out feeling glad, euphoric  and good riddance to all of them..
Its been now 7 months and I have never looked back 👍👍👍
One less problem to deal with. 
I havent had any feelings about the group or desire to go back 👍👍👍👍

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. I'm sorry you weren't finding your groups helpful.. Have you tried a different group?

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## Yoyogurl

Not really because it's the same people that turn up and it was great when mind was open because we had the art room, music room and the little box room.that was used for private meetings and for reading. Which was rarely used as a majority of the service users didn't read or didn't have the energy to read and the people with learning disabilities couldn’t read anyway, but still had their splosh and childrens colouring books and thick crayolas. I wasn’t happy with the attending the centres as I felt it was adults with mental conditions only.

But generally when they have attended the groups the amount of adults with mental conditions declined as we couldn't cope with their problems and comments and while we could drink alcohol if we wanted of smoke a cigarette or use vapes or have other things when they've arrived we couldn't. So the fun went and we limited to vague conversations that they could understand.

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## Suzi

I don't know any mental health support groups which allow you to drink alcohol as alcohol is a depressant. Also smoking has to legally be outside only... 

Have you any other support? Do you see your medical team regularly? Are you eating and drinking properly? Taking any medication?

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## Yoyogurl

The whole time I went to any of these groups, I felt like was the support staff to learning  disabilities to make sure they didn't get into mischief in the closed-off pub or cause issues that could bring down our reputation or alarm to members of the public having a drink or cause issues with police with KellyÂs aggressively demanding attitude problem and plus Kelly is that lady always turns up to these things and I absolutely hate her guts, she's never been nice to me she always comes over as threatening and then quite clingy and there's only certain amount of times we can say Âits her learning dis or mental healthÂ and it would be about things that we wouldn't necessarily associate with distress and can be very embarrassing for the police to be called and for us to tell that she had anger episode because she couldn't find a pen lid and when there looked after her and her mate michelle she's rarely grateful and then starts taking the  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  of us, we have been kicked out and blamed/stigmatised for our conditions. People have assumed that it's us that causing the problems.  
I just wish she would leave us alone and go and hang out with people of her own ability with the safety of support staff who get get paid to deal with these problem and not people who have long term illnesses and who other problems to deal with and come to unwind and get away from problems or who struggle with anxiety of meeting people.

It isn't an official mental  health support group run by the council or NHS, that one I left ages ago. This one and the stuff it's just general meet ups that that we agree on and there's no set code. We have chosen to not to not drink alcohol in the pub not because of our mental health, we are all consenting adults just we chose not because don't want LD people getting ideas, they've been told by their carers not to drink and not to follow other punters.  
Mark that organised it doesnÂt drink anyway heÂs naturally tee-total  and plus. The other reason why I am not going to these places is because of Laura. SheÂs someone that had is really monotone voice  and can extremely boring to talk in group of group of seven.

And plus I have other things now I prefer to do at home that actually distract me and give me that focus and also have other things that I have to do that clash with these groups that canÂt be changed and weigh a lot of significance to my life and are very meaningful to me. I cannot get back into the habit of not doing course work or studying and going to places instead for social ÂenjoymentÂ purposes. Those activities are now strictly for the weekend. These are my personal recommendation to complete all courses.
I will socialise and meet people either at uni during the break/lunch half hour afterwards if not to late when I spend time with family or with Graham and that feels enough.
Doing uni work is hard enough for everyone and is overwhelming with deadlines and workload, exams and coursework. There's a lot to think about, to worry and to have concerns. It's not something i could throw away and trash int he bin and the concerns will.be coping.

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## Paula

Hi and welcome  :):  its be lovely to get to know you - is Graham your boyfriend? What are you studying at uni? So you belong to the student union?

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## magie06

Hi and welcome. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

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## Suzi

Does your uni know you are finding things tough?

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## OldMike

Hi (wave) some social groups are better than others if you get nothing from a group you may as well leave though don't tar all groups with the same brush there maybe other suitable groups out there.

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## Yoyogurl

When I was going to the groups I was at the open university and doing my course from home but I was hating it because as persons with depression it was making me feel utterly useless and sluggish. But I need that human support that I wasn’t getting. So I tried these groups and it was just depressing me further and I was running from one depressing situation into another.  So I am very positive and glad that I have left and actually one less problem to deal with. 

I also realised going was actually counterproductive, I was actually  among the day of going to chip shop because I was rejected for so long and the group was boring my head off.
They have all been the same 

Futures in mind welcome cafe : let’s sit and have chatter about weather, talk mindless in quiet empty library with no music no licences and coffee/ tea that taste like cats  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear:  :Swear: . Reaction zzzzzzzz get me out of here!

Sainsburys meet up: they rarely turned up and when they did there was no conversation and it was bunch of people sitting one, reading the newspapers saying one or two words. Yawn zzzzz get me out of here. Laura still turns up and bitch from hell

Mental health group.:  Laura turns up and take mindless about shopping bags, recycling and her montone voice is making me wanna sleep. It's too claustrophobic that doesn't suit my anxiety in room with 20 people that's no bigger than the size of box room my downstairs bog is large and the meaningless of the people, plus the plans of meet ups and no one turns up. So it and wait in the cold and waiting and is has just wasted my energy getting there because of anxiety. Is this person gonna turn up and my anxiety is building to point of exhaustion.   I am already in a lot pain due to fibromyalgia and scoloisis and when I get home all I wanna do for the next few days is mentally and physically recover.

So now I am like, I don't want to do this anymore, binge eating, the crying because some ass has just wasted my time and starting to prefer a really introverted indoorsy. I have other things that more production and I want to get done.  I feel that when I am at physical uni I have enough stuff on my plate to deal with and the anxiety of meeting people is very diffeernt..i also have genuine mental health feeling of stress and anxiety with conditions. Whereas. When I was job seeker j never felt that what I did was good enough and it never overwhelming in a genuine way. 

So I am glad that it doesn't apply to me for while as I am signed off due Fibromylgia.and scoliosis but eventually I will get into he working world but with conditions in place and I am following my dreams of studying social work.

Since being diagnosed with depression (the condition/illness) with the symptoms I have never wanted to be slob in bed, regardless of the situation, whether I am able.to work and work, struggling to cope with or unable to work.
I rarely see my bed until 11 of 12 at night. I ensure that bed is made if when I am a dark place and feeling low. 
I have things that I do every day in my house, while at the uni and I have coping mechanisms like music using do not disturb and banking the groups. 

I don't have ”i am friendless, ” the dwells I used have when.peollw have messed me about and cycles of binge eating.

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## Suzi

So, if you aren't going to any groups at the moment, what kind of support are you getting?

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## Paula

Fair enough, these groups obviously arent working for you. What did you do before you became ill? What are you studying at uni?

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