# Help and Advice > Related Illness/medication/alternatives >  Domestic abuse and mental health *TRIGGERS*

## purplefan

Domestic violence can have an enormous effect on your mental health. It is now well accepted that abuse (both in childhood and in adult life) is often the main factor in the development of depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders, and may lead to sleep disturbances, self-harm, suicide and attempted suicide, eating disorders and substance misuse. http://www.womensaid.org.uk
One of the reason why it has become such a problem is that people are starting to report it.
There is a stigma attached to reporting Domestic abuse but if it is happening to you, it needs to be addressed.
There are many forums of Abuse. For example. Physical, sexual and Psychological abuse can take on may forms Like control and threats and telling people they are worthless ETC. 
One form of abuse that is on the increase is Financial abuse. One of the main forms is control of spending. Or keeping a check on your bank statements. When someone is doing this they are trying to control the persons life.

It can take a lot of courage to report Domestic abuse but there are good people out there who can give you support. You don't have to go to the police although sometimes it is an option that can lead to drastic actions.
Your G.P can give you help and of course there is women's aid. it is a fact that 29% of abuse victims are between the ages of 16 and 24 and because of their age they are too nervous to report it, they might even feel that is a way of life. 

Remember trying to control you is not a sign of love and you have the power to walk away and get help. So many people now suffer from domestic abuse woman's aid calls it "The silent epidemic".  If you are going through this, i hope you have the strength and courage to take control of the situation. 
Remember No matter how desperate things are, there is always help and support.

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Amaya (12-05-15),Suzi (11-05-15)

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## Paula

Important subject, hunni, but a tough one so I've added a trigger warning

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Angie (11-05-15),purplefan (11-05-15),Suzi (11-05-15)

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## purplefan

It is a tough one, but i hope more people will have the strength to talk out about it.

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## Suzi

This is an important one to talk about. DV used to only be thought of as physical but it's just not... Thanks hunni..

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## purplefan

Its like a pandoras box. The thing i find worrying is that a lot of men suffer in silence also.

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## mitz

thanks PR, psychological abuse is well hidden I think - especially with children. I was on the bus the other day, and this man behind me was sitting next to his mother and verbally abusing her the whole journey - telling her she was ugly and smelt disgusting - it was awful listening to it, everyone sitting nearby could hear him, as he was the only talking and he didn't shut up! - she moved after a while, and sat in front of the bus in the end away from him; and never said a word. It was horrible and i wanted to tell him to leave her alone, but that would not have been wise and could have made the situation worse and got me into trouble, but i felt bad just listening to him do that and not feeling like i do anything.

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purplefan (09-06-15)

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## Justin Tolerable

I have been the victim of passive aggression in the past and it will happen again later this evening. It reminds me of the Pinky and Brain animations where Pinky asks Brain each morning, "What'll we do tonight, Brain?", and Brain answers, "Same thing we do every night, Pinky: _try to take over the world!_" In my case the bit I have italicised changes to _be the victim of passive-aggressive abuse!_.

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## Suzi

Passive-aggressive abuse? Where?

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## Justin Tolerable

> Passive-aggressive abuse? Where?


Oh, it's just everywhere. Here. Not on this board.

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## purplefan

The internet is a place where verbal and psychological abuse can happen on a regular basis.  The thing is to nip it in the bud before it gets worse. 
If it is in the home Justin it is a bad situation as there is no place to hide. But if it is on the internet for an adult that is experiencing   passive aggression the best thing is to switch off. 
Hope the situation is not to troublesome though Justin.

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Suzi (09-06-15)

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## S deleted

passive aggression?

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## Justin Tolerable

> The internet is a place where verbal and psychological abuse can happen on a regular basis.  The thing is to nip it in the bud before it gets worse. 
> If it is in the home Justin it is a bad situation as there is no place to hide. But if it is on the internet for an adult that is experiencing   passive aggression the best thing is to switch off. 
> Hope the situation is not to troublesome though Justin.


It probably is but I take lots of drugs now so I don't notice or care.

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## Suzi

That seems quite a flippant attitude to what is a very serious problem and one a fair few of us have experienced..

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## S deleted

Cleaarly you do notice cos you brought it up

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## rose

Justin, I think you said before that it's in the home, from a family member....?

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## Justin Tolerable

> Cleaarly you do notice cos you brought it up


I didn't post yesterday (or the day before?) because I couldn't get out of bed. On the plus side, severe depressive episodes like that help me to keep trim. I lost quite a bit, for example, when I was in bed for three days refusing food and water. I can't remember exactly when that was because I have a poor memory, but it was 2-3 months ago. I think I sipped a bit of water when my worried mama called the doctor, but then I dribbled it out in my bed. No one knew.

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## Justin Tolerable

> Justin, I think you said before that it's in the home, from a family member....?


Yes, the sleepwalking affair. I think it may have occurred this morning too as papa was quiet this morning. No memory.

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## Suzi

I don't understand - sleepwalking affair?

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## rose

Suzi, see JI's intro thread......

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Suzi (10-06-15)

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