# Help and Advice > Coping with Depression >  Relationship advice

## Tired_75

Hi. New here so go easy!

Ive been suffering from depression for around 20 years, but self medicated for a very long time, now having talking therapy and more recently anti depressants 

I feel like Im moving in the right direction, but my partner is causing me much headache. I love her and we have 3 amazing kids, but Im finding it really difficult  to be proactive, mend and repair and really feel in our relationship. I still feel very dissconnected from myself, but shes putting up a brick wall now and is becoming more and more frustrated with me. 

Shes been very supportive of me but feels alone and heartbroken herself I think. 

I really want the relationship to work, has anyone got any advice or similar experience they can draw one?

TIA 

X

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. 
Can I ask what you were using to self medicate? 
It's brilliant that you have sought help and are working in therapy and with the right meds. 

Wrt your relationship - I remember my (now) husband telling me that he knew that he did love me before his breakdown and whilst he didn't feel anything for me or our children he couldn't see why his feelings would have changed, but he just didn't feel anything...  It was so hard to hear, but actually made everything easier too. I told him that I loved him and our children more than enough for both of us and that we could pull through absolutely anything. It hasn't been easy, but we've been together for 19 years in April and married for 11 in August.. 
Talk to her. Tell her what's going on inside your head...

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## Paula

Hi and welcome. I completely understand what you mean about not feeling in your relationship and my husband has been amazing over the years. Hes had to cope with a lot from me and one thing I really try to do is let him have his own space and hobbies so that his life is not tired solely to me and my moods itms

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## JamieW

I think from the sounds of it - this is common .... i'm in similar boat right now .... struggling to feel 'love' in the relationship.

Self-medicating is a little on the risky side, as i'm sure you're more than aware of .... only thing i did before GP medicated was 5-hpt/magnesium

Take it east - and go easy on yourself!!!

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