# Help and Advice > Questions/Information about depression >  Can you actually feel happy on antidepressants?

## missjames98

September 2016 I was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Originally, I was put on fluoxetine (you may know it as Prozac) but that made me feel a lot worse so my doctor switched me to sertraline. January 2017 I started taking sertraline and honestly since then I cannot remember a time I was truly happy. I realise that compared to the person I was before all of this started I am now such a bitter person and I don't find anything I used to enjoyable. I basically either feel numb and flat or really depressed and things have been like that for nearly a year and I am starting to question if this is a lifelong scentence...that's why I'd like to know other people's experiences. Did you ever get "the old you" back?

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## Suzi

Hi and welcome to DWD. I think you need to go and tell your dr what you are telling us. It might mean that you need a dosage change, or that you need something additional such as counselling to help. 
I can say that actually I don't think anyone is "the old you" once you've been through any sort of chronic illness. I think things like that change you, the same as every experience be they "good" ones or "bad" ones. I think all you can do is keep on trying to be the best you can be each day and work through things with support of those around you and your medical professionals. 
Did that answer anything? lol

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## missjames98

Thank you for the reply :):  my dosage of sertraline was increased about a month ago and as such not changed my mood(although I did have a bit of stress going on) I'll be going to see my doctor soon and see what they can do for me. What you said about "the old me" makes sense and is probably quite true unfortunately :(:  even just little traces of what I was like before would make me happy

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## magie06

It can take up to 6 or 8 weeks for an increase to be noticed in meds. 

To answer your other question, I think the person you are when you get to the other side of a depressive episode can be very different from person to person. I was first diagnosed in the winter of 2009, and it has taken until this year for me to feel more like my old self. But my old self wasn't a very nice person. I had no sympathy for anyone and I was completely self obsessed. Now though I have real empathy for others, I always think of others before myself and I'm a different person to that person in 2009.

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Suzi (28-10-17)

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## Paula

Hi and welcome.  Im with Magie. Im not the same person I was but I think Im a kinder, steadier person now and focus on the truly important things in life - the people rather than the things. It took a long time to get there, though, and I made a lot of mistakes along the way but I got there. My mental health is still fragile and I have to look after myself but Id say that Im a lot happier on ADs than I ever could be without them

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Suzi (28-10-17)

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## OldMike

A very difficult question for me to answer personally, I've been on Sertraline on and off for 25 years and it keeps the severest form of depression away, I'm up and down like we all are. I do smile and laugh these days I have more a feeling more of contentment rather than happiness. I do feel good about myself these days (in the past I used to have a very low opinion of myself and low self worth). This is just how things have affected me but we are all different.

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Paula (28-10-17),Suzi (28-10-17)

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## EJ

I think that I mourn for the old person and the lost 'life'.  Unfortunately that has gone forever. There is a new 'life' waiting for you and new opprtunities. Don't look back only forward. Best of luck xx

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magie06 (28-10-17),Suzi (28-10-17)

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## Techie

Hey, missjames98

I agree with what some of the people here have said - you should possibly think about going back to your doctor and discussing the dosage, the medication itself and the possibility of counselling.

As far as the old you goes, this is something that I struggle with myself.  In my case, maybe in others, I was diagnosed relatively young (in my early 20s).  When one is young,  the world seems like a very different place (it did to me, at least) and I think that there is a tendency to think that our condition or the medications we use to treat it are what has caused our world view to change.  I am certain that this has some effect - how could it not? - but I also think that we change as people as we move through our life.  We see things as they are, not through the rose tinted lenses that youth can provide, and we long for that lost innocence to come back.  Unfortunately, we cannot reclaim it - a pill can't do it, counselling can't do it.  We are, at this moment, the person we are at this moment.  We can never again be the person we were one second ago, leave alone in years past.  The most we can do, in my experience, is make the best of who we are in this moment, and every moment after it.  That is something that pills and counselling can help with, but, in the end, you have to let the person you were go and be who you are now.  

I do hope that this doesnt sound patronising - its certainly not meant to be,  its not something that anyone finds easy as far as I know.  But if you hang on to the person you were, you can end up poisoning the person you are and the person that you have the potential to become.

I hope this makes some sort of sense to you and that you find some measure of peace in the present and the future.

T

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## map84

I was on 30mg citalopram for two years, I felt good and stable, an enhanced version of my normal self, I had some very happy moments.
It might be worth trying a different anti depressant, there's lots of types, they're all a little different.

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## Min234

i recently started anti depressants,
I feel quite numb
Like the great things in life not so exciting any more , but there is not the massive pain and inability to eat there anymore  :):

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## Prycejosh1987

> September 2016 I was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder. Originally, I was put on fluoxetine (you may know it as Prozac) but that made me feel a lot worse so my doctor switched me to sertraline. January 2017 I started taking sertraline and honestly since then I cannot remember a time I was truly happy. I realise that compared to the person I was before all of this started I am now such a bitter person and I don't find anything I used to enjoyable. I basically either feel numb and flat or really depressed and things have been like that for nearly a year and I am starting to question if this is a lifelong scentence...that's why I'd like to know other people's experiences. Did you ever get "the old you" back?


I dont think you will ever "get the old you back" simply because as we grow older situations and people change us and our character. As we grow older we develop into a "more newer style of person" If your bitter its because you are dealing with situations are make you bitter, it can be the product of a state of mind. Think about why you are bitter and use reason to changing this. Once you change your mentality and deal with what you need to deal with, you will be in a bigger, better place in terms of depression and anxiety.

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## Stella180

I sense a troll in our midst.

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## Suzi

I'm wondering if you are actually someone who has ever had any experience of mental health illness at all!

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## scilover

Thanks for sharing useful info in this thread! A few months ago the doctor told my family that my grandmother was depressed as she was very ill. I was always skeptical about anti depressants as I've heard a lot of side effects to it and afraid that it wouldn't help her.

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## Paula

ADs can be very effective - theyve saved me! The benefit to me has far outweighed any side effects

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## Suzi

I agree, they saved my husband.

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## OldMike

Saved me too they help in a lot of cases depression is one of those illnesses which affects people differently some may need AD's to get them over a bad patch others need continued medication to get a reasonable life.

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## scilover

Ahh i see, I understand now. I was so unsure because all I've heard are negative effects. Now I understand the benefits outweigh the side effects. Thanks for sharing!

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